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Pocahontas

Filing jointly but living separately...

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Here's the long story short: my conditional GC expires September 2011, so in June we should start filing for removal of conditions. I actually moved out of the house after 13 months of marriage, due to his mother being impossible and bossing us around like no tomorrow.

I am not 100% sure I want a divorce, but I don't know where I am standing right now with USCIS. Can we still file jointly, get this out of the way so we have one less thing to worry about and focus on seeing if we can work our marriage out?

P.S. I haven't made a secret of the fact that I moved out: I am on the lease agreement where I live right now, and have utility bills on my name. Can USCIS possibly understand that I simply HAD to move out because of that woman???? (we have filed jointly our W2's, and they are showing her as a dependent). Also, due to her medical condition and nowhere else to go, it is not possible yet to consider the option of her not living with us anymore.

I'd apreciate a response, as I am clueless.

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Just out of curiosity, as we are going through ROC right now, how do you plan on showing you entered into the marriage in good faith when you are not living with your husband? What evidences can you show if you intend on filing jointly?

Good luck, I am sorry for your situation. Did your husband move out too or is he still with the mother-boss?


USCIS
August 12, 2008 - petition sent
August 16, 2008 - NOA-1
February 10, 2009 - NOA-2
178 DAYS FROM NOA-1


NVC
February 13, 2009 - NVC case number assigned
March 12, 2009 - Case Complete
25 DAY TRIP THROUGH NVC


Medical
May 4, 2009


Interview
May, 26, 2009


POE - June 20, 2009 Toronto - Atlanta, GA

Removal of Conditions
Filed - April 14, 2011
Biometrics - June 2, 2011 (early)
Approval - November 9, 2011
209 DAY TRIP TO REMOVE CONDITIONS

Citizenship

April 29, 2013 - NOA1 for petition received

September 10, 2013 Interview - decision could not be made.

April 15, 2014 APPROVED. Wait for oath ceremony

Waited...

September 29, 2015 - sent letter to senator.

October 16, 2015 - US Citizen

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While people are different in how they to choose to live their life, from being a hermit all the way to an open marriage, the USCIS folks would assume that a wife and a husband living in separate housings do not have an intact marriage. I know, Jack Nicholson is a big fan of having his wife living in the house next door, but he does not have to deal with the US immigration people.

If your mother in law made your life so unbearable that you simply had to move out, reason would dictate that your husband would move in with you, not his mommy. If that hasn't been the case, I pull the red card.

Edited by Just Bob

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all . . . . The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English-Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian-Americans or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality, than with the other citizens of the American Republic . . . . There is no such thing as a hyphenated American who is a good American. The only man who is a good American is the man who is an American and nothing else.

President Teddy Roosevelt on Columbus Day 1915

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If your mother in law made your life so unbearable that you simply had to move out, reason would dictate that your husband would move in with you, not his mommy. If that hasn't been the case, I pull the red card.

I agree. Do you still see each other? Have relations? If not, then you are separated.

There's no way your situation will fly with USCIS. If your MIL is that bad, you should move away. By you, I mean you BOTH. Why would your husband stay with mommy and let you leave?

I would think hard about your next move. Keep in mind that if you file jointly and they determine that your marriage is a sham, you could be facing deportation.

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She is the one living in his house, not the other way around. So he doesn't have the heart to confront her, not to mention tell her to move out!! :blush:

In the meantime, our marriage fell apart, and the only thing I could do, before I would lose my mind, was move out. She's still there.

So, the idea of filing for divorce crossed my mind...I'm still awake at night trying to figure out what to do. In the possibility that I do file for a divorce but I don't get the final decree before my GC expires, what am I looking at?

I'll get a lawyer with the filing for ROC by myself, if that's the case, but I'm trying to get the pieces of the puzzle together as soon as possible.

To canadian_wife: you asked me how I'm going to prove we had a bona fide marriage: we know each other for 20 years, same hometown, tons of letters, greeting cards and evidence from before the marriage to show we really wanted to stay together, and also the common proofs from during the marriage: joint W2's, bank accounts, medical insurance, car insurance, car loans, etc etc. So I am not worried at all about proving the authenticity of my marriage.

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hi pocahontas!

well the way i see it...USCIS want you to apply jointly OR as divorced. you arent divorced, so the obvious choice is joint in this case. you have all the paperwork and eveidence to prove you entered the marriage in good faith plus all the other stuff. so i dont see why it would be a problem to send in the papers jointly. then, if USCIS call you in for an interview then you can explain your circumstances...who knows, you may be back together with him?!?!?

but this is my opinion, you need to do what makes you feel comfortable and what feels right for your situation...

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so i dont see why it would be a problem to send in the papers jointly. then, if USCIS call you in for an interview then you can explain your circumstances...who knows, you may be back together with him?!?!?

Perhaps because it would be fraud, and when they are called for an interview, which is highly likely in such a case, that she would face deportation from the United States with a bar attached for the rest of her natural life?

Me thinks that a pretty good reason . . .


There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all . . . . The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English-Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian-Americans or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality, than with the other citizens of the American Republic . . . . There is no such thing as a hyphenated American who is a good American. The only man who is a good American is the man who is an American and nothing else.

President Teddy Roosevelt on Columbus Day 1915

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You don't have to prove you entered the marriage in good faith, if you are filing jointly, you are trying to prove you are STILL IN A MARRIAGE, which you are not. Don't file jointly, you are not in a marriage although you may still be married. Especially if you haven't made a secret about moving out, your best bet would to avoid any speculation of fruad and not file jointly

Good luck


USCIS
August 12, 2008 - petition sent
August 16, 2008 - NOA-1
February 10, 2009 - NOA-2
178 DAYS FROM NOA-1


NVC
February 13, 2009 - NVC case number assigned
March 12, 2009 - Case Complete
25 DAY TRIP THROUGH NVC


Medical
May 4, 2009


Interview
May, 26, 2009


POE - June 20, 2009 Toronto - Atlanta, GA

Removal of Conditions
Filed - April 14, 2011
Biometrics - June 2, 2011 (early)
Approval - November 9, 2011
209 DAY TRIP TO REMOVE CONDITIONS

Citizenship

April 29, 2013 - NOA1 for petition received

September 10, 2013 Interview - decision could not be made.

April 15, 2014 APPROVED. Wait for oath ceremony

Waited...

September 29, 2015 - sent letter to senator.

October 16, 2015 - US Citizen

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Hi Pocahontas,

The procedure is not clear in a case like yours. In fact I sometimes feel that my wife and I rushed the divorce just because of the stupid USCIS procedures. We separated and I sort of pushed her to file for divorce if she wasn't coming back to the house soon. Anyway if you feel there's hope to get back together it might not be worthy to file for divorce yet, if you feel there's no hope, then file for divorce. Divorce cases get approved too so don't get discouraged if you have to do this, just look at the waiver thread somewhere in this forum and you'll see.

Read the following USCIS Memo carefully and keep it bookmarked, although it doesn't match your case 100%, there's very useful information in there that would help you during an interview or when talking to a lawyer. I'm not a lawyer but the way for example the last paragraph of page 1 and first 2 paragraphs of page 2 in this memo are worded might give you the right to file jointly.

http://www.rmlegal.com/documents/i-751_Filed_-Prior_Termination_3apr09.pdf

Take care

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Great ! :unsure:

The more I look into it, the more I realize I do have to file for divorce.

So, I'm not going to open a whole new topic on the divorce thread, I'll just ask here: if my GC expires September 2011, do I HAVE to file for ROC 90 days before that ? If yes, I'm filing and then, I'm patiently waiting for the final divorce decree to be issued, which I will later provide to USCIS as an RFE.

If not, can I file when I get the divorce decree?

What are the stipulations about that?

I know I ask a lot of questions, but I would apreciate feedback from whoever has experience. :help:

Edited by Pocahontas

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Great ! :unsure:

The more I look into it, the more I realize I do have to file for divorce.

So, I'm not going to open a whole new topic on the divorce thread, I'll just ask here: if my GC expires September 2011, do I HAVE to file for ROC 90 days before that ? If yes, I'm filing and then, I'm patiently waiting for the final divorce decree to be issued, which I will later provide to USCIS as an RFE.

If not, can I file when I get the divorce decree?

What are the stipulations about that?

I know I ask a lot of questions, but I would apreciate feedback from whoever has experience. :help:

You can file 2 weeks before GC expires - that will give you another year on GC to work until it is resolved (approved or not). You WILL receive a RFE for divorce decree and you will have up to 89? days to respond to it. If you don't have decree by that time expect hearing before the IJ where you can plead your case and have judge rule on your residency - extend tiem to obtain the decree.

You can absolutely NOT file when you get the divorce decree IF that happens after the expiration of your green card.


Removal of Conditions Journey

3/3/2009 - Removal of conditions - sent off packet to CSC

3/5/2009 - I-751 received in CSC

3/9/2009 - Check cashed

3/20/2009 - Biometrics notice received (no NOA1)

4/2/2009 - Biometrics

4/9/2009 - NOA1 date (first undelivered one is 3/5)

4/3/2009 - Touch?

5/6/2009 - ROC Approval - 65 days

6/22/2009 - CRIS Card production ordered email

7/7/2009 - GC arrived!

Naturalization Journey

3/03/2010 N400 sent to Arizona Lockbox

3/15/2010 Check cashed

3/17/2010 NOA1

3/18/2010 - Biometrics notice sent

3/26/2010 Early biometrics done at an ASC different from the one assigned to (Original BIO date was 4/15)

4/30/2010 Yellow letter received and info from USCIS mil line they are working on my interview letter (6/17 appt)

5/1/2010 Text and email interview letter sen

5/6/2010 Interview letter received - scheduled for 6/17/2010 at 10:05am

6/17/2010 Interview appointment - PASSED

6/29/2010 US Citizen

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Just found this here on VJ:

As a general rule a physical or legal separation does not necessarily constitute a legal termination of the marriage for immigration purposes, even if neither party is intending to cohabitate again. Caveat: There are some situations where a legal separation is a legal termination of a marriage for immigration purposes. This occurs when extant state law automatically converts legal separations into divorce after a specific period of time. New York is an example. If you have any question as to the ramifications of separation in your state, please confer with a qualified immigration specialist.

An alien that is separated, either physically or legally, may need to perform specific requirements for immigration purposes.

Like i said, I don't want to file for a divorce just so USCIS doesn't get the wrong impression about our marriage! If I do file for divorce, I NEED to file for the right reason, not just to be in good standing with them. I mean, yeah, I do want my permanent GC, but I also need to do what's right for my hysband and my marriage. Ugh!

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