Young Love and a Total Newbie at this..

[TracyTN 237]

Despite what BarbaraJ says, I think it's wise to understand what is required in this process at any point where it becomes even a remote possibility. Better that than come into it blind thinking your SO can just get off the plane and stay. THAT would be immature thinking in my mind. But what do I know? I don't have a 17 year old daughter.

[VinhBao MyTam 3]

It's good to educate yourself on the process ahead of time.

At this point in your relationship, the only thing you can do, immigration-wise, is document everything. Save logs of all your chats. Save phone records if you call him. If you use a phone card of something, try to make sure you have one that has a record if possible.

Also, start keeping a timeline or diary record of your relationship. When is the first time you talked. When did you introduce him to your parents & vice versa. When did you start talking about marriage? Because if you do wait a few years, these dates may not be so fresh in your minds....

If you do meet in person... again, make sure you document EVERYTHING. Save your itinerary, boarding passes, hotel receipts, receipts for anything you do together over there. Take lots of photos with him, his family, his friends... on different days in different places. (I wouldn't assume that Australia is a very difficult country to prove the relationship, but if you came back from the trip with nothing... that would be bad.)

Last thing, if you are considering either one of you studying abroad as an opportunity to meet each other, then you can scroll down a little bit on the main forum page and there is a section on Student Visas.

Studying in another country can be an expense, so even with that route, it wouldn't hurt to meet first, at least to see if you like each other in person.... and hey, after graduating high school, you deserve a vacation to Australia anyway, right And then on day 1 if you can't stand him, it's ok... you can still have fun exploring Australia.

As far as someone telling you how awful Aussie men are, their description seemed like a lot of American men too. Don't pay too much attention to generalizations.

[lynJer 7]

Hey I apologize....I shouldnt generalise like that....I must be still emotionally scared from many of the aussie guys I dated and married...maybe I just ended up with a bad bunch....

Theres other aussie women on this site and they propably had wonderful australian boyfriends/husbands....maybe it was just me and all my friends.... my sister my mum etc

And... I just thought I would warn you only because of you Being younger in life than many of us...I was just making sure you understand the USUAL Australian yobbo male just in case you have fallen in love with one of them....which obviously you possibly havnt because...

if he is actually calling you....and actually writting to you....then he obviously isnt one of them 'normal' aussie blokes....just hope he dont have any of them normal aussie mates ....

joking....

Good luck...and if you do get frustrated with him in the future...give me an email and ill give you a few hints on how to handle him....

xxxxx

[lynJer 7]

Good Advice Barbara....I can certainly see how both of us Aussie Girls know them Aussie Boys and just cant help but give the girl some warning....its a bit like if you were shopping for a dog - some dogs behave better than others....not that Im suggesting for a moment that all aussie mens are dogs??? heaven forbid??

Well Done Barbara on your lovely girls...wish I was at that stage....Im still struggling with the rebellious 16 17 and 13 year olds.....

[JLaw 2]

Hi Bolded Penguin,

I can't let the opportunity pass without offering a little bit of help, as I feel I can identify with your situation better than most.

I met my girlfriend online at the same age (17) as yourself and we're now finally at the stage where we're applying for the K1 visa. In our case, it took us a bit of time before we even considered dating, so we did have the luxury of time to establish our friendship first, albeit with the distance between us. When our relationship changed in a big way and we became a couple, our thoughts naturally turned to meeting up and even the progression from that point. I understand why you're thinking of visas even now, as we did the same thing, even if it's just at the tire kicking stage. There's nothing wrong with knowing the potential options; better to be aware than not.

Without doing what others tend to do, offering relationship advice, I'd suggest you both do all you can to enjoy and focus on the things you do have right now. By that I mean the things you both share and the things you both have at home. Sticking out school can be difficult, but you need to think ahead - which you seem to be doing in this respect - and put yourselves in the best position to succeed, both individually and, if you both want it, as a couple. If you're dead set on taking the visa route, you're going to need that extra bit of financial clout. Try to allow the situation to be a motivation at school rather than a hindrance.

I know many people mean well when they advise you on relationships, be they long distance or otherwise, but it is difficult for others to understand your unique circumstances. Trust your instincts and don't let people scare you with anecdotes and cynicism, neither of which have any relevance to you. When it comes to your life, and the immigration process, you do have control over it, and it will take plenty of hard work on both parts. But if you do both want it for the right reasons, you will achieve it.

I also know a thing or two about the legal aspects, and I'm always willing to give a bit of advice for free because I'm a pretty cool guy.

Best of luck.

[VinhBao MyTam 3]

.not that Im suggesting for a moment that all aussie mens are dogs??? heaven forbid??

Actually, as a guy, I read it that you were saying all MEN are dogs... just that some are better breeds than others.

[Soneshka 0]

I just wanted to chime in since this sounds like my situation two years back. I met my current fiancé online when I was seventeen, he was 20. He's also from Australia. At first we wanted to take things slower, we were for sure going to get married eventually, but we wanted to finish college first. But after Zach had been rejected his student visa twice marriage looked a lot easier, and truly it was what we wanted most. Zach visited me a year after we met, and we just knew we were doing the right thing. And as of right now I'm sitting in his room in Oz waiting for this whole visa process to speed up so we can go home. my thoughts to you is, research all that you can and follow your heart (corny I know...) but really this whole experience has been extremely rewarding for me, and even if it wasn't I would have still like to have tried! I hope you find a situation that works out for you! You have lots of time to figure it out. Good luck!

Edited February 22, 2011 by Soneshka

[Wayne-Rachel 8]

As with my parents, I don't speak much about him to them, though I want to. I think it's because they're used to everything being in-person and not online, that talking about it might be difficult at first.

I am 35, my fiancee, the USC is 33, and niether of our parents like this whole idea either LOL

Follow your heart, in the end "all you need is love" but also temper this with some measure of maturity and intelligence too... learning a relationship isn't all you thought it was is a bad & dark road. I know, blindlyfollowing love took me down it before.

Best of luck wherever your life's journey takes you both

[lynJer 7]

Actually, as a guy, I read it that you were saying all MEN are dogs... just that some are better breeds than others.

hahaha.....thats horrible to suggest such a thing....funny but....