Self Defense

[slim 1,514]

He speaks to people he knows. Otherwise he looks down or off to the side.

And that's a choice to avoid possible confrontation or that's because he's too intimidated by others to initiate contact?

My husband lived there 40 years. This is not about his new environment. This is about PTSD.

What does that have to do with self defense?

I look ahead, but I don't make eye contact or speak to people. I was actually kinda freaked when my sister was trying to talk to everyone who walked by us when she was in the UK with me last summer. My mom actually got mad at me for telling her she shouldn't do it.

I can understand not doing it overseas. Such is not the culture in foreign countries. But, here in the US, we say good morning or hello or some other kind of greeting when we meet people, even people we don't know.

If you don't, you're seen as being non-confrontational and/or weak. Contrary to popular belief, when you meet people from "sketchy areas" they're either going to notice that and confront you/prey on you, or they're going to return your greeting with one of their own.

You don't have to outrun the bear...

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

And that's a choice to avoid possible confrontation or that's because he's too intimidated by others to initiate contact?

Shut up, Slim.

Edited January 27, 2011 by Rebecca Jo

[chri'stina 190]

Seriously - I was kind of hoping all the tough guys on here would be talking about how they have CCP and bring a gun with them everywhere they go for protection, because it can't protect you if you only keep it at home.

No stun guns? Jujitsu training? Do any of you actually go out in the real world, away from the comfort and protection of your computer screen?

I'm a ninja, trained. Top notch.

But what I really wanted to comment here is that I wonder that about people here too except not just about the gun lovers. How about the people who think they are experts on ghetto life? Have they ever actually stepped inside one? Have they ever spent time outside of their safe, white worlds to have such supposed knowledge about things? I guess some have, yes. But I bet not everyone who claims to know things.

I was inside the projects once in Atlanta(did performances for kids there, with my youth group in '96) but never felt like I was in a dangerous situation at that time. I didn't look over my shoulder the whole time.

If I miss a turn in Tampa sometimes I go through unsafe feeling areas and I don't make eye contact. But I guess I've never been in a very dangerous feeling situation.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

But I guess I've never been in a very dangerous feeling situation.

My husband has.

But apparently that's cause for ridicule around here. At least by some.

[Ban Hammer 12,835]

At this rate, we'll have no people left in a couple of decades!

and we'll solve global warming too!

[chri'stina 190]

That's cool. I just find it hard to believe that in your everyday life, you've never found yourself walking from your car at night, in a poorly lit parking lot, or taking a stair well all by yourself with no else around.

Here is something I have actually done in those situations, which I learned at my university's orientation many years ago...lol

Put your keys between your fingers to use as daggers, if needed. I know it's almost a joke, what damage could really be done? That was very reassuring to learn at orientation, prepare for creeps and weirdos.

Also, you don't have to go to a dangerous place to have something dangerous happen to you unfortunately.

My husband has.

But apparently that's cause for ridicule around here. At least by some.

I'm still catching up with all the posts, didn't read your posts yet, but will now.

[slim 1,514]

Shut up, Slim.

Can you enter a debate without allowing your emotions to take over? Ever?

How about the people who think they are experts on ghetto life? Have they ever actually stepped inside one? Have they ever spent time outside of their safe, white worlds to have such supposed knowledge about things? I guess some have, yes. But I bet not everyone who claims to know things.

Hey, I've seen all of Tyler Perry's movies. And I watched Menace 2 Society so don't be telling me I don't know what I'm talking about.

I was inside the projects once in Atlanta(did performances for kids there, with my youth group in '96) but never felt like I was in a dangerous situation at that time. I didn't look over my shoulder the whole time.

People are people regardless of where they're living. Surprisingly enough, it's pretty simple to figure out how to interact with everyone safely.

If I miss a turn in Tampa sometimes I go through unsafe feeling areas and I don't make eye contact. But I guess I've never been in a very dangerous feeling situation.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Can you enter a debate without allowing your emotions to take over? Ever?

Can you enter a debate without being offensive and rude?

I'm with Rob. You wouldn't last five minutes in with the really bad boys.

[Krikit 1,163]

Why the old figures? Is Canada still counting? Vermont had 4 homicides in 2010. .75 per 100,000. Less than half of Canada's.

Considering that no final 2010 stats are available for either country, one has to wonder how you came to that conclusion.

Yes I am comparing one state's statistics. Why would I compare the US when each state has different gun laws? I m comparing a state with NONE, a state that allows any person to carry a concealed firearm with a country that virtually bans handguns. We also have 7 times the population density of our nearest Canadian neighbors, Quebec.

Your "logic" is stunning.

[slim 1,514]

Put your keys between your fingers to use as daggers, if needed. I know it's almost a joke, what damage could really be done? That was very reassuring to learn at orientation, prepare for creeps and weirdos.

That's better than nothing, but a collapsible baton would do much better in those situations!

Can you enter a debate without being offensive and rude?

I do it every day. I'm sorry you disagree with me but that doesn't mean I'm being offensive or rude.

I'm with Rob. You wouldn't last five minutes in with the really bad boys.

Would a month's lockup in a felony pod at county buy me any street cred? I know it's not the same as living in a country with political unrest, but hey, it's all I've got!

[chri'stina 190]

I do it every day. I'm sorry you disagree with me but that doesn't mean I'm being offensive or rude.

Since you are offering me advice on staying safe I think I should be allowed to give you advice on how not to be offensive when writing on an internet forum. You should express yourself without personally insulting people or their loved ones. I don't think you are the only person on VJ who does that, of course. But do you want to be known as a rude person? I guess the choice is yours.

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

So I looked at a few self defense sites and the key world seems to be "indirect eye contact" IE. don't look at the ground or purposely look away, but don't stair them down either. Apparently you should look at their lips.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I do it every day. I'm sorry you disagree with me but that doesn't mean I'm being offensive or rude.

Go back and read my original post where I quoted you and replied to you.

Nowhere in that post did I say anything other than I disagreed with your comments about eye contact. And I gave a real life example of why I believe that.

You on the other hand decide to make it personal. This is either because you are out to get a rise out of me, or because you can't possibly step out of your preconceived notions of self preservations.

When I engaged you last week over the same question of what it might be like to REALLY live somewhere you have to worry about your safety, you used the same tactic.

So you are preaching to the choir as far as I'm concerned.

[slim 1,514]

Since you are offering me advice on staying safe I think I should be allowed to give you advice on how not to be offensive when writing on an internet forum. You should express yourself without personally insulting people or their loved ones. I don't think you are the only person on VJ who does that, of course. But do you want to be known as a rude person? I guess the choice is yours.

I didn't insult anyone or their loved ones. I asked a question about why he takes that particular stance on his self defense. She offered it up as his tactic to staying safe. I questioned her on it.

How is that insulting or offensive?

So I looked at a few self defense sites and the key world seems to be "indirect eye contact" IE. don't look at the ground or purposely look away, but don't stair them down either. Apparently you should look at their lips.

Please share those sites.

You should make eye contact, offer a greeting, and then go on about your business. If the situation is escalated, you should be looking at their hands and hips. Body language is super important in determining a person's intent.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Would a month's lockup in a felony pod at county buy me any street cred? I know it's not the same as living in a country with political unrest, but hey, it's all I've got!

How's your new girlfriend?