What to do?!

[glockman51 0]

Just personal stuff : my fiancé and I know each other for 29 years (kindergarten puppylove story ) we were trying to locate each other for past 24 years. I got a kid she has two she is a lawer she has a job that's kind of hard to leave at the drop of a had. But if we get a visa tonight then tomorrow morning she will be on the plane. Postponing the weding for a year sounds kinda crazy to us for whatever reason. I dont mean to sound negative but take a look at the whole picture. What's going on?

[glockman51 0]

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[Tero 105]

if she realy loves you she will marry you in a paper bag with eyes closed...c'mmon

Right on!

[iampatricias 17]

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!!!!

We talked about it, after she woke up. ...

Basically she said in a email that she just wanted some support from me and that the wedding is still a go! We have aa budget and we're going to make the best of it. ...

Hurray! She's a reasonable woman! I'm happy for you!

(Also, sorry about assuming you were the USC sponsoring her, and ALSO, what part of Holland are you leaving behind? I grew up in Friesland and did my 3rd year of university in Groningen - I miss it a lot!!)

[crystal01 29]

Glad the wedding's pushing through Like what most have already said, I dream of a big traditional wedding with all the shebang. Unfortunately, we don't have a budget for it right now so we'll just have a civil wedding and plan something grand in a year or two. Being together as soon as possible is more important than a fancy ceremony so we both agreed to do it this way. We're both fairly young and will be starting over once I get there so I imagine it may take a while to get that dream wedding. However, it doesn't have to cost a fortune! I am doing mine in my home country. Im lucky enough to be part of a photography org and have tons of friends willing to cover my wedding for no to minimal fee! Maybe you can ask friends or family too if they can help

Also, there are tons of sites in the internet to help you work with your budget and make it a dream wedding for less!

I find http://www.stylemepretty.com/ really helpful. They have tons of wedding ideas, DIY projects and guides to help you plan your wedding. Etsy.com is also a good place to look for stuff you can use for the wedding.

http://www.marthastewartweddings.com is also a great resource for ideas.

Is your fiancee into arts and crafts? I am planning to do my own save the dates, invitations, souvenirs, bridesmaids jewelries, decor,etc.. even photography (if i can. jk hehe) when the time comes. I've been checking those sites I've mentioned for inspiration. Let me know if you need any help

I wish you guys the best!

[Mithmeoi 29]

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!!!!

We talked about it, after she woke up. She was just really down and couldnt see the end of the tunnel yesterday after she talked to her parents. We've been planning a wedding with the thought of her parents willing to help us out, like they said. She found out that her parents don't have the financial ability to support her right now, neither can my family because they are all planning to come to the wedding (family of 5). Her thinking was lets just wait another year so we both can save up some money for the plans we had already made. BUT its just a change of plans now. Basically she said in a email that she just wanted some support from me and that the wedding is still a go! We have aa budget and we're going to make the best of it. She's already planning about powerpoint presentations with our pictures on it haha!

Thanks everyone for your advice and help truw this stressfull day for me. August 6th 2011, is my weddingday!! Yeaaa!

That's great. I'm glad to hear that she is willing to do that. Congrats and hope everything goes smoothly for you both!

[Tero 105]

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!!!!

We talked about it, after she woke up. She was just really down and couldnt see the end of the tunnel yesterday after she talked to her parents. We've been planning a wedding with the thought of her parents willing to help us out, like they said. She found out that her parents don't have the financial ability to support her right now, neither can my family because they are all planning to come to the wedding (family of 5). Her thinking was lets just wait another year so we both can save up some money for the plans we had already made. BUT its just a change of plans now. Basically she said in a email that she just wanted some support from me and that the wedding is still a go! We have aa budget and we're going to make the best of it. She's already planning about powerpoint presentations with our pictures on it haha!

Thanks everyone for your advice and help truw this stressfull day for me. August 6th 2011, is my weddingday!! Yeaaa!

It's good you both reached an understanding

[JunLei09 2]

Never mind ...good luck

Edited January 27, 2011 by JunLei09

[newlyweds2010 208]

by the way, in a year or so from now will she be rich enough to pay for a big wedding? or will she still be there with the same $3,500? just think that a decent wedding cake costs around $1,000, and all the rest accordingly (if you want to have a nice wedding you can't be stingy on the wedding rings or the flowers or the photographer or the band or the food or etc. etc., right?). plus, you need to make sure you have enough to file for AOS, which is more than $1,000.

[Yagisama 93]

by the way, in a year or so from now will she be rich enough to pay for a big wedding? or will she still be there with the same $3,500? just think that a decent wedding cake costs around $1,000, and all the rest accordingly (if you want to have a nice wedding you can't be stingy on the wedding rings or the flowers or the photographer or the band or the food or etc. etc., right?). plus, you need to make sure you have enough to file for AOS, which is more than $1,000.

Dude, you missed the boat!

[Richie Rich 70]

She wants it all big white dress, cake, drinks etc.

Does she ever stop to think and consider what you wants also not everythng about HER.

I was like, what if we get a small wedding and get a big one later when we have more money?

You just have to make do with what you have now and as most said --keep a bigger one later maybe your first aniversary (when you are more financially stable ) .

She didnt want that because you only marry once.

You only marry once but you have to live a lifetime after . No money after the marriage creates financial hardships .

Now she told me that we should wait a year to marry next summer, eventho we are already in the K1 process,

You can wait and ask the uscis to hold off processing the visa until later , or you can get a later date like 3-6 mths for scheduling an interviewing date . Then when you get the visa --hold off until 4-6 mths before travelling , then 2 mths to get married .

Im a september filer. What do you think we should do? I cant go on like this, I was focused on getting married this summer and now it will be a year later. This is such a blow in my face. Its not that she doesnt want to be with me, not at all..she was crying and everything that she cant pay for the wedding.

Is your fiancee paying for the wedding ?? Where are you planning to get married (a civil ceremony )--in Netherlands or in the Usa (legal)after she comes here?? What about you ? Are you not putting up any money for the wedding ?? You have to Man -up .You have got it made --Maybe you shiuld start saving some money or get a loan if it is important to her and if you wish to make her happy and love her and dont wish to see her cry . I wish you luck on your journey .

[Rara & Chym 3]

Very well said Channah. My fiance and I agreed to have a civil wedding first in New York this year when we get our visa approval. After a year (i.e. 2012) we will have our church wedding (I prefer simple wedding, less expense)in the Philippines. His fiancee should be considerate.

[JSVP08 3]

hhmm...$3500 is a lot. we spent less than $150 for a drive to the civil county inclusive of lunch for 3 after the ceremony. Certainly, its no grand wedding but we do have a grand marriage today.... (church wedding would be much much later in my country- u can bet it'll be as simple as this)

well, thats just us.

i hope u work it through. True, wedding day is important and who would not want it to be grand?...but amidst the expenses, one has to be practical for now rather than start a marriage with debts. Infact, ur budget certainly stretch beyond what we have money-wise eh!

best of luck to ur journey

[Lisamarie 79]

I'm glad that you said it.........

okay..I will say what many people who read your thread are probably thinking. She wants to wait and get married in

about 17 months because she can only spend $3500 on her wedding???...SERIOUSLY?????...Of course this is an important day in many girls lives...dreams and hopes etc. but in spite of your saying how upset she seems to be, her priorities are completely selfcentered. She thinks she deserves to have everything "Fabulous" and needs more money to feel important. If you arent positive you are going to be VERY rich very soon....you may want to think about this...because

you will have this same problem over and over. Your marriage might be a disaster. I would at least make sure she understands that you will have to cancel the current visa if you need to wait 17 months....if she says yes....Perhaps

it is for the best.

[Lisamarie 79]

Glad to hear it, I'm happy for you;))

It's good you both reached an understanding