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mohammedsgirl

FAMILY ACCEPTANCE

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Egypt
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Hi, my thoughts to you is to go visit him and meet his family and friends. Make many photo's, save all proof of being with him, Come back to the states and file I-129F Petition for Fiance...To all who posted that this woman is too old, When did 38 begin to be old in America? Women here look young at 38. What an insult to the hundreds of ppl on VJ that share their life with someone younger including myself. I think if you knew how the man in this relationship felt then you wouldnt be so judgemental. It looks like everyone thinks this woman is the only person in her relationship. He is a grown man he can do as he wants. I'm sure when she goes to Egypt to meet him and his family she will be well received. The way everyone talked about her situation scares the hell out of me and I have been with my Fiance for 3 years and did meet his family and friends and it was the best thing I have ever did. My fiance's family treated me like I was always apart of their family. So to the OP you go there with your head held high and you share YOUR LIFE with who YOU LOVE Dont look to anyone to tell you how you should be, It's your life! As for things being harder in this process because of age difference, you will just have to take it one step at a time, see how it goes as we all are doing on VJ. Anything in life worth having doesn't come easy. I wish you and your man the best on your journey

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Egypt
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The OP is not old but she's too old for a 22 year old. I think it's a bit too much like blowing sunshine up one's behind to say otherwise. Please. Also, the way things are going with Cairo right now, she most certainly has a chance of a denial with that age difference particularly considering his current age. Especially concerning a K1 visa. The safest way to go is a CR1.

ETA - tru_loves_journey - you haven't even reached the interview stage of your journey. How are you so certain about denials or lack thereof? I think your advice is irresponsible.

Edited by Mithra

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Egypt
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:lol: I remember the old days, too. You're right about those old threads. I think there are many of us oldtimers around that have seen the fallout and know that a few years of online chatting or even a few months of RL living together is not a good way to predict the final outcome. The divorce rate lately has been like an epidemic. Just because it's not posted in this forum doesn't mean it's not happening. There are only a handful of ladies that were married about the same time as I was that are still married. That's scary if you think about the vast number of ppl who were importing husbands during that time.

Totally OT but any other oldtimers find this topic nostalgic? I originally joined VJ back when MENA was the active forum and I'd guess that the majority of women there were older women marrying much younger men. See also: she who should not be named.

Five years ago? The OP would have received responses such as:

"It's a red flag that can be overcome! Just ask me!" /AP for years on end

"We overcame this red flag and our marriage is doing great! He's been here for 1 day - couple of weeks and I can't believe anyone ever doubted us!"

Plus the proto-Muslima who always insists that since the Prophet Mohammad took a much older bride, it's all good.

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
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Mithra, from what you have observed in the relationships around you, what factors do you think lead to the high divorce rate? Are you more inclined to think it is fraud, cultural differences, the adjustment phase, not taking the time to get to know each other (in person?), just plain mismatched or incompatible couples who were perhaps swept up but it couldn't last, not discussing important issues ahead of time, issues related to having kids, or something else entirely? I'm just curious.

As I write this, I'm actually wondering if perhaps a better question is whether you have seen any common themes in the couples who ARE successful, rather than asking for a litany of the many reasons why people divorce..... :bonk:

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Egypt
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It's hard to tell when you only get one side of the story. Yanno? I've heard cheating, abuse, fraud, etc. You name it, I've heard it. It's never one thing. I've yet to hear from anyone that said it just didn't work out or the woman say, I messed up. Not saying that the wife's side is wrong. Just saying that I've never heard the husband's side of it so no way to really tell. Most of the people who have been getting divorced/separated lately have been together, IRL, for years. Some have had their 10 yr GC for awhile now and some have just gotten it recently. There are no real common trends that I can see other than the fact that it almost seems like the husbands all got together and decided on a mass exodus. That's not funny but that's what it looks like.

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Egypt
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Mithra, Everyone in the K1 process has a fear of being denied. You are in America now so you know about the journey and i'm waiting for NOA2 like so many others. About divorce and how some couples don't last and your right about that, but divorce can affect any couple. As for you saying my words to the lady were irresponsible, I Dont Care what you think! I have the right to state my opinion just as everyone else here does. By saying a person shouldn't marry a younger man is like saying ppl of different races shouldn't marry or same sex couples shouldn't marry.People marry who they LOVE. If anyone is denied, it was for the Consulate to decide but it won't change the LOVE the couple have. As for myself I hold strong to God and the LOVE I Have . So i hope that the ppl in the original post make it through just as we all hope to make it.

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It's hard to tell when you only get one side of the story. Yanno? I've heard cheating, abuse, fraud, etc. You name it, I've heard it. It's never one thing. I've yet to hear from anyone that said it just didn't work out or the woman say, I messed up. Not saying that the wife's side is wrong. Just saying that I've never heard the husband's side of it so no way to really tell. Most of the people who have been getting divorced/separated lately have been together, IRL, for years. Some have had their 10 yr GC for awhile now and some have just gotten it recently. There are no real common trends that I can see other than the fact that it almost seems like the husbands all got together and decided on a mass exodus. That's not funny but that's what it looks like.

Is that why everything's so quiet on here lately? Because so many peeps are going thru divorce????

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Egypt
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It's irresponsible to advise the OP to do a K1 when she has a greater chance at denial with a K1. Just because you filed it doesn't mean she should. You haven't gotten to the interview stage yet so you have no idea if you'll even get denied. Regardless of whether or not I agree with the OP's decision to marry a manchild I'm not going to steer her in the direction of something that could possibly get her denied. She wanted to know if she should get married in Egypt and file or file a K1 then marry in the US. I would advise her to marry in Egypt and have less of a chance at denial. Yes, they do deny CR1 also but not nearly at the rate that they deny K1.

LOL I don't think so. Those people stopped posting regularly on VJ awhile ago.

Is that why everything's so quiet on here lately? Because so many peeps are going thru divorce????

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

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Tru loves journey - you can't really think that an observation about the vast differences in developmental stages between a 19 year old and a 35 year old is the equivalent of objecting to people of different races marrying!

Regardless of whether they were "friends" in the beginning or not, who the heck wants a teenaged friend in their 30's? Observing that this seems whacky in no way is equivalent to anything you said it is!

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Egypt
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Yeah that blows my mind. I can't even imagine what I'd have in common with a 19 year old at my age (mid 30s). Other than lust perhaps. I've been around 19-22 year old Egyptian men. Yikes. I would never want to take that on at my age and I'm younger than the OP. I'd be too worried he'd be checking out/chasing after younger babes once he got to the states. That's too much to keep up with and worry about. Not to be offensive but I smell mid life crisis.

Tru loves journey - you can't really think that an observation about the vast differences in developmental stages between a 19 year old and a 35 year old is the equivalent of objecting to people of different races marrying!

Regardless of whether they were "friends" in the beginning or not, who the heck wants a teenaged friend in their 30's? Observing that this seems whacky in no way is equivalent to anything you said it is!

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Egypt
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Totally. I get being infatuated with the looks of a 19 year old (kinda). But that'll only get you so far. 19-22 year old (and sometimes even older)Egyptian men are so stunted emotionally. They have a severe lack of experience with women on an emotional level (not sexual necessarily).

I just can't even imagine finding a 19 year old appealingon any emotional or intellectual level.

Edited by Mithra

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
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Personally I do not think it wise to marry someone the first time you meet him...I would strongly suggest this first visit be about seeing each other in person and finding that connection first....then think about the marriage after that. You have a few other obstacles when you visit him and I think it wise for you to talk to some of us who have been there and maybe shed some advice on the matter in a personal place not on visajourney. This entire process can be trying and although this site is great for many things, it wont solve all the issues you might encounter.

I agree with this reply...

I was glad to see the original poster reply that she is not getting married on her first visit instead on her return visit if all goes well in July. However, I really hope you will take Wendy's advice and personally contact and talk with some of us on a one on one level. There are so many things you guys are going to be up against and have to deal with, not just the age difference. Please understand that I am not being negative or saying you shouldn't marry him, I truly feel and believe that my husband is my soul mate and we started in a similar manner meeting and becoming great friends online and he is 10 yrs younger. The difference is I went to visit him and meet his family 7 months after knowing him and returned 6 months later to marry him after which I stayed for 3 months and then later returned and lived with him for a year. I like others am a bit curious why it has taken 3 yrs to go meet him for the first time? Also are you prepared to stay for an extended stay with him after marrying him, especially since you say he will still have 2 yrs of school left. I am assuming he is choosing to stay and finish his 2 yrs of school in order to defer his service obligation?? I hope he has already dealt with this and maybe has been given an exemption from them, if not this is a whole other issue the two of you will have to face.

I also have to agree with many of the posters that while our MENA men are of a strong nature...they can be quite emotional especially when it comes to wanting their wives with them and by their side when they come home instead of 7000 miles away.. I really wish you the best and hope it is true love..Please feel free to contact me personally, I would love to talk to you more.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
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Im from egypt and i can tell u that it doesnt sound right , i bet u he is just acting like an angel who doesnt wanna live here till he marry u and then comes here and see U.S and all the young girls here and thats when reality will hit him and i will not be surprised if he divorces u or go back to egypt and marry 3 more ( since muslim can have 4 wifes at the same time ) sorry to be very blunt but u asked and thats my opnion as an egyption guy who lived in this culture, and the answer wont be any better if im an immgration officer the age different is a huge red flag your only way to prove things different is to marry him in egypt and live in egypt for few years to prove to urself and to the U.S embassy in cairo that he is serious about the marriage and he is not after u to get him out of egypt specially now with this revolution happening there. sorry again if i sounded hard but reality will be harder on u . good luck

Edited by marymina119

Mina&Mariam

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