Hi VJ :)

[Neek 0]

Been trawling through all the guides on this website for what seems like forever trying to get our heads around what to do lol so thought I would introduce myself

I'm Nik and from Leeds, UK and met my girlfriend a while ago online

She came over to the UK from North Carolina in July but got refused entry because we couldn't prove that she wasn't coming over for work... So I basically got the earliest flight that I could and stayed over with her using the VWP.

Anywho, I stayed there for about 86 days and we got on great, so I decided to go home to the UK for a month and then come back again using the VWP.

The CBP guy told me off and said that I should probably get a "proper" visa as somebody may just turn around and say that I can't come over for 3 months, go home for a month and repeat this as it is abusing the system.

This is fair enough but the problem with that is, that I am currently disabled and can legally continue to get paid if I return to the UK before a 26 week expiry period, so I've basically been using that money to stay over in the USA.

Anyway, the CBP guy has kinda worried me a bit about going backwards and forwards (We really don't want to have to deal with one of us being sent back again) So are trying to work out which visa to get.

We are both happy to be engaged and stuff, but didn't really want to rush into a marriage, but want to spend as much time as we can together (insert whine about apart times here) And when that all goes through and I get my residential status, I will lose my money and don't know what to do about that.

Should we do the K-1 visa, and suck it up then get married when it is done, or go with the B-2 visa and maybe apply for a AOS when we are ready to get married or whatever? :E

I'm currently in the states with her until the 18th of January 2011 after the CBP guy let me in after explaining everything, even after him saying I should get a "proper" visa. But there are just so many we have been getting so confused about the whole thing

Love the site though, it has already helped a great deal

Nik & Mel

[slider100 8]

Hey Nik, first of all, welcome to VJ! You are right, it is a very good site and all the members on here believe in helping each other out!

Now, as far as your case is concerned, you can try applying for a B-2 visa because every time you visit the US (after leaving for about a month), the CBP will question you as it might be looked as you abusing your VWP privileges.

Now, the chances for B-2 approval are always 50-50. However, considering the worst case scenario, if your B-2 gets rejected, it won't affect your K-1 visa chances (if you apply for one).

You should know that even a B-2 visa get not guarantee you an entry in the US.

You will be asked questions and the duration of the stay will be decided by the CBP officer and your entry chances are completely at his/her discretion.

Please let us know if you have any more questions!

I hope this helps!

KnR aka slider100

[canadian_wife 1,829]

You need to spend more time in the UK than in the US. So if you are going to the US for 3 months, in the Uk for a month, then back to the US for 3 months...yah, I can see the CBP getting concered. Because out of 7 months, you've spent 6 in the US.

A B-2 visa does not guarentee that you will be admitted into the US. However, if you are ever denied entry into the US, you cannot use the VWP or the B-2 visa again. A denial can happen (as it did to me) if you are spending too much time in the US or are seen to have immigrant intent or not enough ties to the UK

Good luck, and welcome to VJ

[JoannaV 174]

The general rule is to not spend longer in the US than you do in the UK. If you want to spend longer together soon, then you will have to think about one of you moving to the other country. Unfortunately, for most people marriage is the only way to gain residence in the other country. I'm guessing your girlfriend is working full-time so can't travel so much as you?

None of us can tell you if you should go ahead and get married. Many people on this site will have not had the chance to meet as much as you guys have, so it is perfectly possible to make a marriage work based on a little previous contact. You will need to work out how sure you are of the relationship, how committed you are, and how much you are prepared to risk. The longer you wait the more time you will have to spend apart, but the surer you will be of your eventual decision. You should not base the decision to marry on immigration, however sometimes your only reasons to delay marriage are pretty petty.

You have almost two more months together on this trip. Two months can be a long time, and it should help you decide whether you want to pursue marriage+immigration or focus on visits but with longer times in between. I don't know what kinds of issues you guys have already talked about, but you should probably try to focus on REALLY getting to know each other. Address all those issues that should be addressed before marriage: finances, kids, work, religion, household roles, etcetc. When living in the same town you could let a relationship progress as slow as you want, but in a long-distance relationship it is normally best to talk about the serious issues early on. Doesn't mean you have to get married sooner, just that you should be more aware of the relationship's potential.

[Nik+Heather 121]

Hey, Nik! My husband's name is Nik too! He's the UK-er as well.

Your conundrum is pretty much what most of us went through as well. If Nik and I had a local relationship, we probably would have moved a lot slower. Maybe just now getting engaged instead of being married already for a year. Joanna is totally correct, you have to be a lot more deliberate about these long distance relationships. So there are a couple of other options, like getting into a university and going with a student visa, if you like. Basically B-2 visas aren't really issued to people from visa waiver program countries. See it goes like this "You're eligible for the VWP, why do you want a visa?" "Well, I want to visit my serious girlfriend for longer periods of time" "I think you're going to try to immigrate using an inappropriate visa - denied....please pay your visa fee at window 10!!"

Anyway, hope you guys work something out.

-H

[Damian&Kelly 16]

I understand your situation and not wanting to rush into marriage, as my husband and I wouldn't be married right now if it wasn't for immigration. We were perfectly happy dating. Though marriage has been wonderful! My husband got stopped and was also questioned and advised to get a visa, so we did so. But in our case, that was his 3rd, 90 day trip, and in between trips, I spent 3 months in England. So by that point, we knew we were ready for marriage.

I know that your girlfriend was denied entry into the UK, but maybe a UK visa for your girlfriend is another option for you. Then you wouldn't lose your money and you can still be together. Just because she was turned away doesn't mean she can't get a visa.

[Neek 0]

Cheers for the responses, we know that we will end up getting married but we thought that we were rushing it or something. After reading more on here though it has made us feel a bit better about applying for the K1 etc, going to crack on with that this week and hopefully get it sent off before next weekend

Checked all the checklists that are on the guide and we should be alright, just needed a bit of reassurance.

The annoying thing is that I can still get paid while visiting the US for 3 months at a time, but it's just hard to explain to the CBP officer.

Again, thanks for the input, it has cleared things up for us and we appreciate it, knowing that people are going through the same thing helps a lot

[JoannaV 174]

Cheers for the responses, we know that we will end up getting married but we thought that we were rushing it or something. After reading more on here though it has made us feel a bit better about applying for the K1 etc, going to crack on with that this week and hopefully get it sent off before next weekend

Checked all the checklists that are on the guide and we should be alright, just needed a bit of reassurance.

The annoying thing is that I can still get paid while visiting the US for 3 months at a time, but it's just hard to explain to the CBP officer.

Again, thanks for the input, it has cleared things up for us and we appreciate it, knowing that people are going through the same thing helps a lot

Good to hear that you have made a decision. If you are able to get the K1 sent off this weekend then it will be grand that you have at least 2 months of the waiting process together!

I was always surprised that no-one questioned me as to how I could afford the time to spend so long in the US. Hopefully next time you visit you will be asked fewer questions!

Given how long the process takes, it might be best to arrange to spend a while in the UK before visiting again. You don't want to try to visit too soon and then be denied entry and not get to see each other at all until you get your K1. Don't be afraid to visit, just realise the risks and organise accordingly.

[O & C 3]

Welcom to V.J.