Need some advice please. I posted and nobody responded. So I will repost. It's about proving marriage fraud.

[justashooter 430]

My friend was advised by the immigration officer to send in all her proof of why she feels it's a fraudulant marriage. He is the one that constantly puts her down, and tries to rob her of her self-esteem. She's depressed like she never been before. This is a woman that is now on medication for depression because this man is driving her insane. Not to mention that she just shared with me that at times he even physically assualts her. She's too embarrased to call the police because of her standing in the community.

she needs to call the police if there is physical violence, but at the same time she needs to abhor violence in her own behaviour. we are so tired of women cornering their husbands in the kitchen, screaming at and threatening them, then calling the cops when the guy pushes them out of the way so he can leave.

BTW, she doesn't need to worry about her "standing" in the community. she married a high school educated 3rd worlder. what "standing" can she possibly have left?

lemme guess, he is half her age and half her weight?

[Peace be still 6]

Yes he is younger then her, and she's not fat at all. She just got cought up with what life would be like. It's very unfortunate for her because my relationship is the polor opposit of hers. Even though mines is working, I would never recommend this for anyone. It's like taking a gamble, and the gamble is just not worth the risk.

[thongd4me 69]

Nothing you've mentioned illustrates marriage/visa fraud. Sounds like the marriage is breaking down, yeah. Sounds like he's showing his true colors, yeah. Unfortunately, when one doesn't have the luxury of spending a lot of time in real llife with a future spouse, it's easy to lose one's self in the idea of who that person is, spending holidays abroad, what (s)he says over the phone, chats, etc. Hearing and witnessing are two different things.

I really have no advice concerning how to proceed other than to echo what others have said. If there are instances of actual visa fraud, then she needs to start collecting solid evidence. A husband turning into a prat is not visa fraud.

As an aside, this was obviously posted in the wrong forum to begin with...please don't berate other posters because it wasn't commented on quickly enough. I understand you may be frustrated, but it's really not an excuse.

Agreed, a messy divorce situation doesn't always equal immigration fraud.

In just about every divorce both parties may feel betrayed, abused and insulted.

I suggested to mods to move it to "Effects of Major Family Changes..."

[Darnell 8,478]

Yes he is younger then her, and she's not fat at all. She just got cought up with what life would be like. It's very unfortunate for her because my relationship is the polor opposit of hers. Even though mines is working, I would never recommend this for anyone. It's like taking a gamble, and the gamble is just not worth the risk.

So - are you helping her to generate and collect evidence ?

[Peace be still 6]

This man is as sneaky as they come. He would give the devil a run for his money. Sometimes life is about just cutting your losses.

[Darnell 8,478]

This man is as sneaky as they come. He would give the devil a run for his money. Sometimes life is about just cutting your losses.

So - are you helping her to generate and collect evidence ?

[rlogan 2,036]

My friend was advised by the immigration officer to send in all her proof of why she feels it's a fraudulant marriage.

So far nothing you've said is going to show that.

He is the one that constantly puts her down, and tries to rob her of her self-esteem. She's depressed like she never been before. This is a woman that is now on medication for depression because this man is driving her insane. Not to mention that she just shared with me that at times he even physically assualts her. She's too embarrased to call the police because of her standing in the community.

If she's willing to take beatings in order to save face in her mind, then there's not much advice anyone can give her.

It doesn't make sense to waste energy in a vain attempt at proving marriage fraud at the same time allowing domestic violence for which one phone call has an instantaneous response by the cops.

[belinda63 2,981]

If he is abusing her and lied to her and she thinks he married her for the green card why is she still living with him? Not only is she risking her life and emotional well-being she is assisting him in what you claim is immigration fraud.

I have seen zero evidence of immigration fraud, I have just heard second hand of things that mean a marriage is bad. Why don't you be a real friend and help her out with a place to stay and advice on how to protect herself from this "abusive husband".

[thongd4me 69]

If he is abusing her and lied to her and she thinks he married her for the green card why is she still living with him? Not only is she risking her life and emotional well-being she is assisting him in what you claim is immigration fraud.

I have seen zero evidence of immigration fraud, I have just heard second hand of things that mean a marriage is bad. Why don't you be a real friend and help her out with a place to stay and advice on how to protect herself from this "abusive husband".

Could be because it's her house and he has a key.

Time to change the locks & get a restraining order.

[Harsh_77 716]

Mena- I think if your fiend is feeling bad about all this then she has to stand up and fight like an american women, if she is abused and hit then she needs to call cops, stop being like you are in some backward community and stop thinking about social standing in community.

Community does not have to take the abuse,she has to take the toll and comon she is bought up in US (I assume since she is USC).

We all can just give advice, but its her that has to really do it, we cannot do it for her.

[Miss smarty pants 84]

Actually~ I can understand how this educational mis-understanding could have happened. Because I went through the same misunderstanding with my husband just days before I married him. It has more to do with cultural differences and translations, I think. See-- here we call a Baccalaureate degree (bachelor degree) a four year University degree. So we tell them we have a bachelor degree and it's like 'yeah me too'. And they think 'great-she finished high school'. Because in Morocco- that is how they refer to their 4 year high school program. They call their high school degree the same name as we call our 4 year university degree.

See: even here from Wikipedia:

Baccalaureate

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaJump to: navigation, search

Look up baccalaureate in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

A baccalaureate is an educational qualification. See Bachelor's degree for background on the term.

Baccalaureate may also refer to:

Baccalauréat, France's national secondary-school (lycée) diploma

International Baccalaureate, a group of three internationally recognised educational programmes for students aged 3 to 19

The International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme, the senior of the three International Baccalaureate programmes, for students aged 16-19

European Baccalaureate, awarded to students who successfully manage to complete a European School

Romanian Baccalaureate, Romania's national secondary-school (liceu) diploma

Welsh Baccalaureate, a recently introduced pre-university qualification in Wales

Bachiller, Colombian and Venezuelan national secondary-school (Bachillerato) diploma

Baccalauréat, a term used in Canada that refers to a bachelor's degree in Francophone universities

Baccalaureate service, "a farewell address in the form of a sermon delivered to a graduating class" (in the United States)

Engineering Baccalaureate in Quebec, a 4-year study program

So it's possible maybe it was all a mis-understanding from the beginning. In my case, I became aware of it before. And I am working on my Master's, so finding out right before the wedding that I had misunderstood and he has only a high school diploma was a surprise....but I love him. And I knew he didn't try to intentionally deceive me so I proceeded. I am sorry your friend is going through this....but is it possible she also didn't understand?

[thongd4me 69]

Baccalaureate

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaJump to: navigation, search

Look up baccalaureate in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

A baccalaureate is an educational qualification. See Bachelor's degree for background on the term.

Baccalaureate may also refer to:

Baccalauréat, France's national secondary-school (lycée) diploma

Yes, when I went to the American University of Beirut about 40 years ago

everyone was talking about their "baccalaureat" and I soon discovered

it was for HIGH SCHOOL!

[Always+Forever 7]

it sounds to me like she didn't know this man enough before he came here....i think that is a problem many make during this process. And as for recommending others not to do it, I think its their choice. There are many great men through out the world, but just like if we got serious & married someone in the US...we would make sure we knew as much as possible about them before marrying them. And I also agree that I haven't read anything specific that would flat out point to fraud. If he has his green card, and that's what he came for...he'd be gone already. Why would he worry himself with going through all of this if he wasn't interested in being with her besides for a green card anyway? Just my opinion on the little bit of details we are shared with. Best of luck to your friend. And I'd say, divorce & move on.

Monica

[Darnell 8,478]

This man is as sneaky as they come. He would give the devil a run for his money. Sometimes life is about just cutting your losses.

How's the evidence pile coming along? By now, if you've been helping her, it should be large and complete, yes?

Whatcha got ?

[T & J MC 0]

Not trying to be funny, but I would suggest that she do what Mel Gibson's wife did, and tape everything. That's so rude of her husband