California County Bans Toys With Fast-Food Meals

[Peikko 1,575]

Funny you should mention horse training. My horses ALWAYS respond better to positive reinforcement (IE treats) when learning new tricks. The ONLY time I have ever resorted to corporal punishment is when I first got them, and they did dangerous things...ie, biting, kicking, rearing, while I was on the ground. Works like a CHARM.

THAT SAID....horses in the wild will bite or kick each other in response to being bit or kicked. My smack and loud NO, is more like a slight sting to what they would get in the wild.

Children are NOT in the wild and as such CAN and SHOULD be taught without violence. There is SUCH a plethera of other disciplinary methods to use besides hitting them, that again, if you resort to hitting, IMO, it is because you have not thought of another creative way to handle the behavior. I DO agree that no child will learn exactly the same way as another child, and they need different methods for different behavior problems. But, I think there are SO many other things to try and work on besides just corporale punishment.

-Blu-

Did you ever try the round pen method? Of course, I have not had any experience with completely wild horses but your man suggested that it worked well with those too - it was a break though in training, the original horse whisperer and ####### all to do with that poxy Disneyfied film rubbish.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

the escape clause from anyone who refuses to look at an issue. "Well I have kids, and this worked for them, so I know more than you do."

Please. Save. It.

I study more people and more parenting styles than you could wrap your head around.

Actually, most people who I've seen who say, 'you don't have kids' are usually the worst parents with the most whiney/misbehaved brats out there. (notice I said most, not all).

As someone who studies this, don't think I haven't been dove plenty in to getting my hands dirty as well. I've actually gone through the motions of being with young children 24/7, taking care of them, making sure they're doing well in school, helping with homework, etc. I actually do have quite a bit of 'experience' from a previous marriage if you really want to get down to it. The mother absolutely refused to spank her children. She threatened them with it mind you. She was stern, firm in other ways, took things away, but then was also trying to be their 'friend' at the same time. Of course their Uncle had no problems spanking them when he was around and they acted like little sh1ts. Guess who the kids respected more? - The Uncle. The mother gave timeouts, took things away, etc. but it was the spanking that got through to the kids. Their Uncle also spanks his own daughter when she gets out of hand... Guess what, she's almost the perfect little angel now days. - I also have a friend who timeouts work fine for. I have another who has a brat that is just simple a brat and nothing seems to work. Why? Every single child is different.

Parenting is not linear. It can't be. We are talking about little human beings with different little personalities. Sure, you can educate them, mold them, etc. but you will never have control over their true hearts/minds in the grand scheme of things. You can influence, but ultimate they all react differently to certain scenarios.

I don't have kids Paul. I'm not going to start making out to people who are parents and have significant experience raising children that I know better than they do how to bring up and discipline a child.

Clearly you have such a gigantic ego, that you can't see how massively arrogant these kinds of comments are.

First bolded part: I'd like to see you explain how and in what capacity you "study" these parenting styles. Are you a licensed child psychiatrist? A pediatrician? A school teacher? A day care worker?

I ask because for some reason I think it involves weekend shopping trips to crowded malls. Beautiful!

Second bolded part: This is completely ridiculous. There is no way you can validate this statement beyond your own preconceived opinion. There is certainly nothing rational about it.

[Wyld Blu 35]

Fun times!

My "no" works wonders with happy meals...not sure the last time I fed one to them however, or ever will. Ughh...

I have twins (as seen below)...my son reacts well to "time out" they are two in May. He even hugs me after his 1.5 minutes in time out and pats me on the back as if to say "sorry mommy". However, my redheaded little devil that she's become...blows raspberries at me and then laughs at me when we do time out. *sigh*

Raising voices doesn't work, time out doesn't work and a tap on the bottom makes her laugh. Although the hiding of the keyboard did give me an idea....she loves her books...hmmm.

Oh, I NEVER hid it...he had to place it in my trunk...lol...But he was WELL aware of WHY it was going to work with me. LOL. To give you another creative idea....

My sister, to this DAY (her kids are adults) cannot have a conversation on the phone without constant interruptions by her kids. I stopped that REALLY early. LOL...I told my kids that no matter what they asked me...unless it was an emergency (I let them know what constituted an emergency to me) the answer would ALWAYS be a no if they interrupted my phone call. They tried about 4-5 times, and found that whatever they asked was an automatic no, if they interrupted. They have never interrupted a phone call since...and they are now 27 and 25.

-Blu-

[Peikko 1,575]

Fun times!

My "no" works wonders with happy meals...not sure the last time I fed one to them however, or ever will. Ughh...

I have twins (as seen below)...my son reacts well to "time out" they are two in May. He even hugs me after his 1.5 minutes in time out and pats me on the back as if to say "sorry mommy". However, my redheaded little devil that she's become...blows raspberries at me and then laughs at me when we do time out. *sigh*

Raising voices doesn't work, time out doesn't work and a tap on the bottom makes her laugh. Although the hiding of the keyboard did give me an idea....she loves her books...hmmm.

I'm not being funny but for whatever reason it appears your daughter does not see you as a figure of authority but as someone who is a peer, or at least that is the behaviour she is exhibiting by laughing etc. Sometimes parents do find it very difficult to be consistent with their tone, particularly with very young children because these are little tiny people who are for the most part just gorgeous and lovable and beings that you want to hug which is totally and completely understandable but you are doing her no favours going forward unless you do make her realise that when mum says no, she means no, and when mum says you will do, she will do and finding there will to be consequences for her actions that are not supressed laughter, or sighs because 'my lovable little devil is so cheeky and it's really quite adorable' but having toys taken away and a mother who will not engage with her until she behaves. She must see that for you, such behavour is totally unacceptable and not in the least bit adorable.

Well, that's how I would handle it anyway...

Edited April 28, 2010 by Madame Cleo

[Wyld Blu 35]

Did you ever try the round pen method? Of course, I have not had any experience with completely wild horses but your man suggested that it worked well with those too - it was a break though in training, the original horse whisperer and ####### all to do with that poxy Disneyfied film rubbish.

Round penning works awesome actually. I have no access to one at the moment. But honestly, even the John Lyons and Monty Roberts says you have 3 minutes to make your horse believe you are going to kill them if they try to hurt you or do something dangerous.

For me, the last time when I had to do this is when my mare reared up in front of me, due to her stubborn behavior, and I clocked her legs with a whip. I smacked her twice, to me very hard and yelled at her....she could have killed me. She didn't even have a mark, hell, I don't think her hairs even parted...but she never, EVER tried that again. It is only recommended for dangerous situations where an immediate and threatening act (ie the whip) is warrented...and with HORSES..not kids. Horses are large animals who can kill or seriously maime you. People don't always understand that.

That said...none of my horses have had any sort of corporale punishment in years...since I first bought them. And I cannot wait to get another round pen on my new ranch.

-Blu-

[Obama 2012 1,714]

I don't have kids Paul. I'm not going to start making out to people who are parents and have significant experience raising children that I know better than they do how to bring up and discipline a child.

Clearly you have such a gigantic ego, that you can't see how massively arrogant these kinds of comments are.

I'm not being arrogant at all. If I was being arrogant I would be talking about how Method A only works and nothing else. I'm simply saying no two children are alike and you can't always use the same methods. That's what some were trying to portray earlier in this thread.

First bolded part: I'd like to see you explain how and in what capacity you "study" these parenting styles. Are you a licensed child psychiatrist? A pediatrician? A school teacher? A day care worker?

I ask because for some reason I think it involves weekend shopping trips to crowded malls. Beautiful!

Step-Children

Friends with kids

books on child psychology

studying human interaction like it's the back of my hand.

and yes, even observing interactions in crowded malls.

Second bolded part: This is completely ridiculous. There is no way you can validate this statement beyond your own preconceived opinion. There is certainly nothing rational about it.

How is it ridiculous?

Most of the people I've talked to who have uttered that comment have kids that act like little devils. I said most, not all as well.

[Wyld Blu 35]

I'm not being arrogant at all. If I was being arrogant I would be talking about how Method A only works and nothing else. I'm simply saying no two children are alike and you can't always use the same methods. That's what some were trying to portray earlier in this thread.

Step-Children

Friends with kids

books on child psychology

studying human interaction like it's the back of my hand.

and yes, even observing interactions in crowded malls.

How is it ridiculous?

Most of the people I've talked to who have uttered that comment have kids that act like little devils. I said most, not all as well.

While this may qualify as reseach, it does not qualify as parenting experience or expertise. Look, I DO agree that different kids and different behaviors warrent different methods for handling them...I just don't think hitting ever needs to be part of that.

-Blu-

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I'm not being arrogant at all. If I was being arrogant I would be talking about how Method A only works and nothing else. I'm simply saying no two children are alike and you can't always use the same methods. That's what some were trying to portray earlier in this thread.

Step-Children

Friends with kids

books on child psychology

studying human interaction like it's the back of my hand.

and yes, even observing interactions in crowded malls.

How is it ridiculous?

Most of the people I've talked to who have uttered that comment have kids that act like little devils. I said most, not all as well.

The bottom line is that you have preconceived ideas about parenting, without actually being a parent and having experience on the subject that is both limited and dubious ("studying human interaction like it's the back of my hand" - do you seriously think that this is persuasive? what complete tosh). And yet you have the gall to make out to people who are parents that you somehow know better than they do.

Arrogant is exactly what it is.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

The bottom line is that you have preconceived ideas about parenting, without actually being a parent and having experience on the subject that is both limited and dubious ("studying human interaction like it's the back of my hand" - do you seriously think that this is persuasive? what complete tosh). And yet you have the gall to make out to people who are parents that you somehow know better than they do.

Arrogant is exactly what it is.

Which part of having step-children did you not read about either thing that I said?

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Which part of having step-children did you not read about either thing that I said?

Ah so now you're ditching the rest of that ####### you wrote, are you?

[Obama 2012 1,714]

Ah so now you're ditching the rest of that ####### you wrote, are you?

No, I'm just going with the instance in which you used to argue.

Nothing changes from what I said before.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

You're right, nothing changes. You continue to be arrogant in almost every thread you participate in, approaching every topic with a set of preconceived ideas.

It seems to be a theme with you.

[Wyld Blu 35]

Which part of having step-children did you not read about either thing that I said?

I am curious about this though. Ok..you have step kids...and that CAN be a load of experience and information. How old are they and how long have you been a step parent? I am not asking to suggest you still don't know anything if you aren't their "natural" parent...because I think that is rubbish...but I would like to know nonetheless.

-Blu-

[Obama 2012 1,714]

You're right, nothing changes. You continue to be arrogant in almost every thread you participate in, approaching every topic with a set of preconceived ideas.

It seems to be a theme with you.

Actually I look at every issue from all sides despite how you want to look at it.

Nothing is 'pre-conceived' about how I go about things in this life.

Most of the things I will talk about/post on, have nothing to do with my own 'personal' beliefs/how I 'feel.'

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Actually I look at every issue from all sides despite how you want to look at it.

Nothing is 'pre-conceived' about how I go about things in this life.

Most of the things I will talk about/post on, have nothing to do with my own 'personal' beliefs/how I 'feel.'

I'm very sure that *you* believe that. However, that is not the impression that comes across.