Long Distance Relationships....

[Ndrangeta_one 0]

Just wondering, on other people experiences that have survived the 3 year mark after POE, who already have gone through AOS and their better half has already obtained Citizenship.

Been thinking how many relationship have survived after that point in some "Long Distance Relationships" or some of us just buying time? (very expensive time to say the least!!!)

I am sure there are always happy stories with being happily ever after.....

Interest to hear both the good and the sad one too....

because I am starting to have serious about L. D. R....in general.

Thanks

[baron555 934]

How is a Long Distance Relationship any different than a Short Distance Relationship?

A Relationship is a Relationship.

Long Distance ones may make it more difficult to physically be together often.

Long Distance ones may force extra time to be taken to get to know each other well enough to commit.

If you think that Long Distance forces you to make a "decision" sooner than you would normally, then these are not for you.

No one would condone that.

If you think that the culturual / background differences may make it more difficult; the converse argument could be made that they make it more intriquing and require the couple to pay extra attention to the Relationship.

Long Distance ones may require the couple to seriously get to know all about each other because they can not just be together physically where hormones may overshadow any attempt for them to get to know all about each other and their wants and desires in a Relationship.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

I've been in a long distance relationship for 5 years.

And here I am, 5 years later still with my fiance waiting to be with him in the US.

It's up to the person if they can deal with long distance relationships or not, in my opinion.

Edited October 31, 2009 by Rhiann

[Guitarlo 2]

Just wondering, on other people experiences that have survived the 3 year mark after POE, who already have gone through AOS and their better half has already obtained Citizenship.

Been thinking how many relationship have survived after that point in some "Long Distance Relationships" or some of us just buying time? (very expensive time to say the least!!!)

I am sure there are always happy stories with being happily ever after.....

Interest to hear both the good and the sad one too....

because I am starting to have serious about L. D. R....in general.

Thanks

I spent a year and half talking to my fiance' almost everyday 2x per day on a web cam. Sometimes I thought the time difference alone (13hrs) was going to crack me. It was my morning and her night or vice versa. Like the famous romance story about the wolf and the Falcon. By curse the man and woman would only see each other breifly at twilight in human form. In short, the LDR was the hardest thing I've ever done and don't want to have to go through it again. Many do however, e.g. Philippino OSW don't see their famlies for years at time while they send money home. You will hear LDR gets old and sometimes it really does. But, if you can't fins a partner by other conventional means what are your options?

Hang in there!

[ThaitoUSA 15]

My wife and I spent 3 of our first five years together in a long distance relationship. She's now in America with green card and a job. We're not up to citizenship yet, but we're looking forward to that day. Our relationship is stronger now than it has ever been, and the long distance portion definitely strengthened it as well; We laugh so often, I can't keep count; We share many common interests; We assume responsibility individually and as a couple; We have common goals toward which we work, supporting each other along the way. I am eternally grateful for the love of my wife and she expresses the same to me.

Each couple shall have a unique experience that cannot be determined by others. Just because our relationship is great does not mean that all long term relationships shall work out. Your post expresses your present feelings on the issue, and if that is how you feel, then your experience very well shall be quite different. If you feel the other person is worth it, then no length of distance, time or money shall matter.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Just wondering, on other people experiences that have survived the 3 year mark after POE, who already have gone through AOS and their better half has already obtained Citizenship.

Been thinking how many relationship have survived after that point in some "Long Distance Relationships" or some of us just buying time? (very expensive time to say the least!!!)

I am sure there are always happy stories with being happily ever after.....

Interest to hear both the good and the sad one too....

because I am starting to have serious about L. D. R....in general.

Thanks

Absolute trust is essential, if you have that the only problem with LDRs is not seeing the other person for the times apart. If you do not have absolute trust, give it up NOW.

Now that we are together for more than one year, I would say our marriage is about like anyone else's. It is not a fairy tale, not a nightmare. Pretty much working, going to school, paying bills, keeping up with the needs of our children. Good days, bad days, good news, bad news, etc. Typical family life in America. Is it what Alla imagined before she arrived? No. It is terrible? No. If we have any problems in the future I do not think it would be because we had an LDR for a time. Truthfully, after a year, I think we both know the good and bad things about each other and she is still here. I know she has enough money squirreled away somewhere here to buy a couple tickets to Kiev if she wanted to, but she is talking about buying a new sofa instead. She went back to Ukraine in the summer and returned. I take that as a good sign...as the saying goes

If you care about someone, then let them go. If they come back they are truly yours. If they do not, they never were. Or something like that.

It is like a Democracy...it is not the FIRST election that creates a Democracy...it is the SECOND election. It is not the FIRST time your fiancee comes to you that makes a marriage...it is the SECOND time she comes to you.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Just wondering, on other people experiences that have survived the 3 year mark after POE, who already have gone through AOS and their better half has already obtained Citizenship.

Been thinking how many relationship have survived after that point in some "Long Distance Relationships" or some of us just buying time? (very expensive time to say the least!!!)

I am sure there are always happy stories with being happily ever after.....

Interest to hear both the good and the sad one too....

because I am starting to have serious about L. D. R....in general.

Thanks

I will also say this to people who are about to realize their dream. I am very happy for you, it is about as wonderful a thing that can happen to anyone. I will also say you are now getting to the hard part. Not the easy part, you thought the hard part was being apart, the hard part is being together. Your new spouse will need you like no one ever needed you before. This is especially true if they are not native English speaking people and especially if they are from other than English based cultures. I always imagine that new spouses from Canada or Australia or UK have it easier, maybe not.

Alla spoke good English when she arrived, but it was still a problem. People talk too fast, use slang and idioms she doesn't understand, and YOU do not even realize they are saying. She had to learn to drive, balance a checkbook, check her bank account online. Ukrainians for the most part do not use modern banking systems. The get paid cash and the money they have is the cash in their hand or what is stashed in a book or under the mattress. When they want to know how much money they have...they take it out and count it. There is just a huge difference in how we function than many other cultures. It is not a cultural thing, it is not a traditional thing, it is just a different way to do the same thing. They have to learn where to shop, where to buy what, how to get to different places, find a doctor, find a dentist, discover new friends and acquaintances. It is a very challenging time and requires the patience of a Saint. Add children into the mix and it is a whole 'nother ball game.

So, after all this process, not knowing what's going on with USCIS etc. NOW will be the time your patience is truly put to the test. When it is just remeber how much you wnet through to get them here, how many times you wished you were together. Never forget that part and you will be fine. It gets easier day by day, month by month. You will see.

[david'sgirl 134]

We have not made it through the entire process yet but I would say that yes, if you find that right person it is worth it. Time and distance do not make it easy for sure but when it is real love then nothing can stop it. I miss my husband every day and I've never regretted a single second since we first chatted two yrs ago. So I would say it is most definitely worth the risk and the trouble because I found the love of my life. I wasn't about to let a little thing like an ocean stop me from spending te rest of my life with him. Good luck.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

I truly believe that there is someone special waiting out there for all of us. Love knows no borders. If that person happens to be in Antarctica or the USA, it doesn't really matter. If its meant to be its meant to be. If and when you do find that person you know you were meant to spend the rest of your life with, then distance is just a temporary hurdle. After moving here and getting married, I now understand that despite all the struggles, the 4 years of travel, financial strains and separation from my loved ones back home, it was worth it all. Living with my soul mate is amazing.

Of course LDR's take a lot of dedication, faith and trust, but if you believe in yourself and believe in your relationship then its all worth it in the end.

[SuperDuper! 230]

LDR is not casual dating. Time apart can be very stressful. I agree about total trust being required.

What is really nice is that an American man can find a traditional woman overseas. I think there are only about a dozen traditional American women left in America, and those are already taken

Good luck in your search, and take your time to make sure you have found the right one. Good thing about int'l search is that there are plenty to choose from, and that a mature American man is a treasure to the foreign girl, and she is just waiting to pamper you and make you feel like the king you are!

[CanTex 1]

Okay ITZALLGOOD, I had to reply to yours, lol. You DO NOT have to go "overseas" to find a good traditional girl. Heck I'm only in Canada and my fiance says that it took a frozen canuck to warm his heart. lol. There are wonderful men and women all over the world that are meant to be together.

That I love to cook, clean, mow is just another "perk" for him. He does not expect it from me, but hey since I enjoy it that gives him time to work on the other "manly" things at home.

We are very fortunate that I can go to the states for six months (preferably Jan - June) be pampered by him and I do the same for him. Cook, clean, bring his coffee, make his lunch, kick his butt out the door for work, lol. Then I have to come back to Canada for six months and life goes on.

Another wonderful thing is internet shopping. I order comforters, sheets, nick nacks and send them "home" for him to hang, put up, wash etc. lol. Then when the next 6 months roll around we are so happy to share everything together.

LDR are an emotional strain on both parties (I don't even consider the financial part - I love to fly), but getting to know each other from afar is so fulfilling. We webcam every morning for an hour b4 we go to work and every evening for a couple of hours. We spend more time talking than married couples in their own homes do (well on the average). So I can say - take me around the house (using the laptop). 'k well it's time to dust, and "oh yeah - I meant to move that over there - can you do that for me?", lol.

LDRs are what you make of them - glass half full or half empty - the choice is yours.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

LDR is not casual dating. Time apart can be very stressful. I agree about total trust being required.

What is really nice is that an American man can find a traditional woman overseas. I think there are only about a dozen traditional American women left in America, and those are already taken

Good luck in your search, and take your time to make sure you have found the right one. Good thing about int'l search is that there are plenty to choose from, and that a mature American man is a treasure to the foreign girl, and she is just waiting to pamper you and make you feel like the king you are!

Recent surveys list 9 traditional women left in the USA. 3 were killed in laundry mishaps. 6 of the 9 live in Utah, one in Louisiana, 2 in Mississippi, but those two can't read. The population fo them in Canada is in question. Aerial surveys indicate more but some are believed to be mistaken for baby harp seals and are subject to being clubbed to death by mistake. Some may also actually be barren ground caribou.

We know that there is tradional women on this continent, it is just that overseas is such a target rich atmosphere!

[Victor&Cory 1]

We know that there is tradional women on this continent, it is just that overseas is such a target rich atmosphere!

You know what they say...... "The grass looks more green in the neighbor's patio" ...... or something like that. hehehehe

Anyway......when I was starting to know Corina she said these words..."When you really love someone you run to him or her whenever he or she is". God knows the wisdom in those words. I was about to end a relationship in wish the other part put so many excuses not to spend time with me that I could fill a book. Strange how after many years a relation can get that low. And it was a short distance relation, meaning that in 1 hour and a half I was there. Of course that is a closed chapter of my life.

Then Corina appears in my life. We got to know better and better. Spending as much time online as possible. Then she tried to come here. As it happens to most people she got her B2 denied. But that was not so important. The fact that she was willing to fly halfway around the world to come here and see me is worth more than you can imagine. Now she is coming here next Friday. I know that there are still more procedures we need to fulfill but we will be together.

Although she can speak also spanish I know I can't leave her alone not even for a minute. She might know how to speak spanish but from there to be able to hold a conversation is another matter entirely. People tend to speak their native language faster, slangs included, than a different one. But it wil be all worth it. And years from now we will look back and see all we had to do and go through just to have a little piece of heaven.

PEACE.................

[SuperDuper! 230]

Okay ITZALLGOOD, I had to reply to yours, lol. You DO NOT have to go "overseas" to find a good traditional girl. Heck I'm only in Canada and my fiance says that it took a frozen canuck to warm his heart. lol. There are wonderful men and women all over the world that are meant to be together.

That I love to cook, clean, mow is just another "perk" for him. He does not expect it from me, but hey since I enjoy it that gives him time to work on the other "manly" things at home.

We are very fortunate that I can go to the states for six months (preferably Jan - June) be pampered by him and I do the same for him. Cook, clean, bring his coffee, make his lunch, kick his butt out the door for work, lol. Then I have to come back to Canada for six months and life goes on.

Another wonderful thing is internet shopping. I order comforters, sheets, nick nacks and send them "home" for him to hang, put up, wash etc. lol. Then when the next 6 months roll around we are so happy to share everything together.

LDR are an emotional strain on both parties (I don't even consider the financial part - I love to fly), but getting to know each other from afar is so fulfilling. We webcam every morning for an hour b4 we go to work and every evening for a couple of hours. We spend more time talking than married couples in their own homes do (well on the average). So I can say - take me around the house (using the laptop). 'k well it's time to dust, and "oh yeah - I meant to move that over there - can you do that for me?", lol.

LDRs are what you make of them - glass half full or half empty - the choice is yours.

Good post. Glad you found your prince charming on the same continent. Sorry, I like the exotic choices overseas, so that is my predilection. Cheers.

[SuperDuper! 230]

You know what they say...... "The grass looks more green in the neighbor's patio" ...... or something like that. hehehehe

I prefer, "If the grass is not green on your side, then break out a watering can once in a while and make it better."