Just Feeling Like Crap...

[NYPeach 13]

I know it is so hard while you are going through it. But I promise you, it is like childbirth. You will forget the pain once it's all over.

In the meantime, feel free to vent away on VJ where other people understand exactly what you're going through. I found it pretty useless to complain to anyone else. They tried to be supportive, but they just couldn't relate the same way.

Hope that feeling in your stomach goes away soon.

[aj1 1]

But...we did it, im here at last, yes it was worth every tear, every argument, every loss, everything, justb to be here now, with Steve, for good.....priceless.

Absolutely what I was going to say!! It is so worth it.

hang in there.

We all understand what you are going through these times are very difficult to face. Not knowing what will happen, when it will happen we all know its very hard. I pray alot and i keep myself in a routine and try to keep myself occupied. You will get through it we all will, I promise you that. Just hang in there. Sometimes the things we think are so far away are closer than they seem. Don't give up. We will all get to the finish line in this crazy, long race. Take care and HANG IN THERE!!!!

aj1

[seldi 1]

Also, I find it hard to explain our situation to my friends. Most think I'm making this whole engagement up, or even making Hector up, or even worse, critize the seriousness and realness (is that a word?) of our relationship.

I've become extremely antisocial. I'm at the point where I don't really care what anyone thinks.

[jen&darcy 0]

I understand your feelings also. We have been ready to file since March 2005 but had to wait for his divorce to be finalized. His divorce attorney screwed up and it only ended in March 2006. I then filed the I-129F in April 2006. We talk every day by phone and he just now got a webcam last week. We don't always get to use it because he works 3rd shift and is 3 hours behind me.

We both commented the other day that we feel like we are drifting apart.

[jmwprof03 0]

I know it is so hard while you are going through it. But I promise you, it is like childbirth. You will forget the pain once it's all over.

In the meantime, feel free to vent away on VJ where other people understand exactly what you're going through. I found it pretty useless to complain to anyone else. They tried to be supportive, but they just couldn't relate the same way.

Hope that feeling in your stomach goes away soon.

Damn! You guys never cease to amaze me. And, I am a pretty tough cookie to impress. I look at everyone here and read about everyone's situation, and I sit back and smile. I smile because I have nothing but complete respect (ok, there are some dimwits here and we all know who they are ) and love for all of you. I hear all of you loud and clear and thank you for sending some positive vibes my way. You will be happy to know that I am back in the saddle again. Sometimes, all it takes is a little affirmation from folks like you, a kick in the a$$, and a little perspective. Right now, what really turned me around is perspective. I could be in Choco, Colombia whose villagers were the victims of some horrendous human rights tragedies last week, or I could among the displaced and scared people of the Middle East during this tulmultous crisis. But, I am not. I am sitting pretty right now here in the states waiting to begin a life with the man that I love. ...Doesn't sound too bad to me. Like I said, all it takes is a little perspective.

Edited July 19, 2006 by jmwprof03

[hockeygal 1]

I used to be a happy person! Crabby only once a month.

Now I am crabby all the time, and worse... insecure. It is taking its toll on the relationship. He is going through a job/life change, and has stresses about that. Just as his salary gets cut 50%, I will show up, unemployed. I respond to this by getting insulted and hurt, when really, it is all valid. Meanwhile, the separation and delay and homelessness in my life is making me need more attention from him, that annoys him. It seems a mess. This morning, I though "what if he didn't actually mail in the RFE? What if he is having second thoughts?" Because that is the crazy state I am in.

At least it is easier for us to meet in person than for many of you, so I can't complain about that, though with his travel schedule being busy as it is, it is hard to arrange. And our last visit wasn't so great. I was hyper-sensitive, he was stressed about life. Blah.

I can't wait until this is over and I too can look back on this as a little "blip" in life!

Edited July 19, 2006 by hockeygal

[vartan 0]

yeah it does put a strain on the relationship that is true.. I would never get irritated when talking to my fiance but I find myself getting irritated at times.. I know I am not irritated at her.. I am just irritated at the situation.. Living with her for over 1 year then having to take care of myself.. I will be the first to admit I dont sleep as much, eat as well or take care of myself as well as I did when she was here.. and I am the one that got to stay in the states.. She should be the one having a harder time..

[Ladylethal 12]

I know how you feel, and all I can say is hang in there to every last thread of hope you can. *hug*

[seldi 1]

Hi, I'm new here. What is touched? When will I get my NOA2?

[HELLOWORLD 0]

Hang in there, man. My fiancee just received her interview date today - it's been 9 long months of waiting ourselves, with so many worries and potential pitfalls along the way. Just keep plugging along, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

[Robor007 0]

Also, I find it hard to explain our situation to my friends. Most think I'm making this whole engagement up, or even making Hector up, or even worse, critize the seriousness and realness (is that a word?) of our relationship.

I've become extremely antisocial. I'm at the point where I don't really care what anyone thinks.

I know what you mean. I don't think close friends or even family can identify with those of us in long distance relationships like this. They don't understand the emotion, stress, and frustration of being in love and being apart and they definitely don't understand the difficulty of the visa process. I sure didn't know how long and complicated it was to be a US citizen and marry a foreign citizen. When I do talk about it with family or friends I've actually had a few tell me to give her up and find someone local - like that helps.

I still spend time with my family and friends but my fiancee is always on my mind. It doesn't matter where I'm at or what I'm doing. It's most difficult when I'm alone and we're out of communication. I'm new to this and it's only been 7 weeks since we've seen each other. I see others with several times that and more. I hope we're able to make it through the long process. It is really difficult but I just look forward to the next time we can be together and eventually be together for good.

Hang in there and good luck!

[wolsen3129 0]

I know how you feel.

I go through it quite often myself. I've known my fiancee for just over 2 years now. We started out with just emails every few days. Then we discovered Yahoo IM. Which became IM with webcam and now we also do IM with webcam and voice. We are on 5 days out of the week for 2 hours each time. I've been to Vietnam twice already this year. Staying two to three weeks. I just got back a month and a half ago and it already seems like we've been apart a long time. This last trip we got to do a lot of traveling throughout the country.

But, straying off the subject slightly, I recently filed the I-129F on my own. Before I knew about VisaJourney.com and have come to find out there were a few things I did not submit with the petition that I am noticing. I just followed what was on the directions to fill out the petition. It didn't say anything about sending in several other items as I am seeing that is recommended by other members. Now I am thinking the whole proccess will be delayed for a request for additional information or be bounced back and I will have to reapply.

[no name 1]

I know what you mean. I don't think close friends or even family can identify with those of us in long distance relationships like this. They don't understand the emotion, stress, and frustration of being in love and being apart and they definitely don't understand the difficulty of the visa process. I sure didn't know how long and complicated it was to be a US citizen and marry a foreign citizen. When I do talk about it with family or friends I've actually had a few tell me to give her up and find someone local - like that helps.

I still spend time with my family and friends but my fiancee is always on my mind. It doesn't matter where I'm at or what I'm doing. It's most difficult when I'm alone and we're out of communication. I'm new to this and it's only been 7 weeks since we've seen each other. I see others with several times that and more. I hope we're able to make it through the long process. It is really difficult but I just look forward to the next time we can be together and eventually be together for good.

Hang in there and good luck!

Shoot, 7 weeks is easy! Some are 8 months on here. I will be at 5 months when I finally see him next month.

I see in your timeline you are waiting to file until she returns. Can't you start it now, since it takes so long?

Edited July 20, 2006 by devilette

[Robor007 0]

I know what you mean. I don't think close friends or even family can identify with those of us in long distance relationships like this. They don't understand the emotion, stress, and frustration of being in love and being apart and they definitely don't understand the difficulty of the visa process. I sure didn't know how long and complicated it was to be a US citizen and marry a foreign citizen. When I do talk about it with family or friends I've actually had a few tell me to give her up and find someone local - like that helps.

I still spend time with my family and friends but my fiancee is always on my mind. It doesn't matter where I'm at or what I'm doing. It's most difficult when I'm alone and we're out of communication. I'm new to this and it's only been 7 weeks since we've seen each other. I see others with several times that and more. I hope we're able to make it through the long process. It is really difficult but I just look forward to the next time we can be together and eventually be together for good.

Hang in there and good luck!

Shoot, 7 weeks is easy! Some are 8 months on here. I will be at 5 months when I finally see him next month.

I see in your timeline you are waiting to file until she returns. Can't you start it now, since it takes so long?

Yep, our 7 weeks isn't that long compared to some on here. That's why I mentioned that I see other members here with several times that. But my point is it seems longer to me and if it's this bad at 7 weeks, how is it going to be if we're ever apart for 6 months or more? The thought of that... I really respect those on this forum that have the strength and love in their relationships to endure the time apart. I hope we are able to withstand it as well. I think the reason it seems longer to me is she works on a cruise ship where the internet access is very slow and expensive. We could still use it to chat but there's no webcam so I couldn't see her anyway. The main problem is when the ship is at sea there's no cell signal so we can't SMS or call each other. Well, depending on where the ship is she can sometimes call out using a 'sea card' that's about $20 per hour. But it's difficult for her to use it because there isn't always a signal and when there is it's very busy. I can call the ship by calling a number in Miami that forwards to the ship but the line isn't always up and when it is it's *VERY* busy - sometimes takes an hour of machine gun dialing to get through. Also, she's got a cabinmate so I can only call her when the girl in the bunk below isn't there sleeping.

But it's not all bad news. When she's in a US port we can call each other cell to cell unlimited (I got her a Cingular cell contract because my work phone is a Cingular plan). And she does have free wireless access 1 day per week at a library in port. So we can talk quite a bit but no amount of time on the phone can replace being together in person. That said, her ship will arrive in Ft. Lauderdale at the beginning of October so I will be able to go see her there. Her visa should allow her to stay here up to 29 days before she has to return to the Philippines. I'll pick her up and bring her back to my place to meet my friends and family and see the area. Four weeks together!

Unfortunately, I can not submit my K-1 petition right now because she is currently married to a US citizen. I know that sounds bad but it's not as bad as it sounds. It's a real long story that I don't mind telling but just doesn't belong in this thread. I posted it in another thread a while back. They are currently in process of the divorce and should be finished up in a few months. I'll petition her after that. So not only do I have to wait for the long K-1 process (through the CSC), I have to wait for her divorce to finalize before I can even start it. I envy everyone in the K-1 waiting process now.

[Maurry88 0]

I am pretty sure we all know where your coming from. Heck just reading some things here are getting me worked up!