Ever had doubts?

[NArocks 13]

I am, for some reason, defending myself here. I don't even know why. You don't know the whole situations, the reasons for all of the arguments. You are here trying to shove your experiences down my throat. While I don't mind a differing opinion, do it with class.

However you keep coming back trying to justify yourself. Dude if she wanted to talk to you she would have already, now that you have highjacked her thread I kinda see a little control issue, this is of course my opinion but I call it like it is....

Well, addictions, abusive behavior...these things are rather commonly known. People who are in prison typically have long rap sheets for a reason. People who go to AA or other drug programs but don't change... there are plenty of exceptions, it's just most people do what they like. And what they like they don't change. Abusive men like the control, the dominance. Cocaine addicts like the feeling.

ANd you are well versed in this HOW?? Stick to what you yourself know and do not generalize about which you know nothing about.

She came on here to try and gt some type of resolution , however you just can not seem to let it go...

PS pretty good quoting for a nOOb

[wowswift 3]

You guys sound both way to young or just immature. Maybe in time she will talk to you. Maybe she won't. You both need to work on communicating without arguing or blaming. You are just going to end up in a vicious cycle of fighting it obviously just won't work. You both don't seem to have set your priorities to being together and having a solid future yet. But of course it is your life, but I'd just say give her some space, maybe just leave her a message to maybe talk to you about everything later when she is ready.

[thetreble 19]

I am, for some reason, defending myself here. I don't even know why. You don't know the whole situations, the reasons for all of the arguments. You are here trying to shove your experiences down my throat. While I don't mind a differing opinion, do it with class.

Class?

You and your girlfriend's relationship is now hanging out to dry on a message board....

You are on a message board telling a bunch of people you don't know that your girlfriend won't talk to you....it's high school all over again...probably why a lot of people are calling you immature, and telling you that with time and EXPERIENCE comes maturity.

Edited August 11, 2009 by thetreble

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Whoa. Really folks... why the need (I'm talking about the OP's boyfriend) to vent out our private stuff on the internet and then get defensive when people tell you what you don't want to hear? You dish, you deal. Who are you trying to convince? Seems to me that L. is right now so over the whole deal it's not funny; and you ar enot helping your case with your attitude. #######.

As for your whooping generalizations about "people who go to AA meetings yada yada yada" you know all this how, exactly? You work in the addictions field? Oh no... just remember you dropped out of college - and it shows. Like NArocks said, keep to what you know.

[thetreble 19]

Not to mention, we are all posters on this board because we belong to the community. Eventually, people will stop responding to you as you are only here to defend yourself against what, I'm not sure.

L., if you are out there, reading this...you do what ever feels right. Don't read any of this #######, by any of us, and take it into consideration. You are doing what is right for you and continue to go with your gut.

And that is all I will say on the matter because it's a pointless discussion.

[Danu 19]

And it is definitely distance that causes the arguments. How would I know that? Because the arguments mostly stem from things we can't do together. Getting pets, going to the beach, a club, going out to eat...you name it. Can't do that online, can't magically just spend time together. It's not like we've fought in person, the many weeks we've been together.

These are probably the stupidest things to fight about ever. I'm sorry, theres so reason to fight about not being able to get a cat because you arent in the same house yet, thats really petty and stupid. Theres no nice way to put it. And if those are the types of things you fight about, and you fight like you do on here (not being able to drop a subject with people who are total strangers) I can understand why she may have had enough. I've also had enough of this topic, as before, best of luck to you.

[bowflex 0]

All I'll say on this is just stop posting this extremely personal stuff on a public board and go ahead and wait for her to contact you. Maybe send one more email or voicemail stating that you will just wait and hope for the best, but don't do anything after this. I've known too many friends that were suffocated by others and that drove them much further apart than anything. At this point I'd stop even worrying about getting married and just hope that both of you care enough about each other that you stay together. If this doesn't happen, it's a MUCH better thing to happen now than a few months after she gives up everything she knows to live with you. Good luck to both of you and without trying to be mean, I hope we don't see you posting here again as I don't believe this board was created for this type of drama (at least not the Canada one that is ).

[*JG* 2]

Everyone has doubts.....before, during, and after this process.

I hope you do what is best for you!