Proof of Your Relationship

[meowmeowmeow 1]

Hi all,

I am writing this in regards to my worries about "proving" my relationship with my husband.

We don't really write, and have not written a whole lot of emails to one another. I stupidly did not really save any chats we had, and the ones we normally did were usually over the phone or through webcam/microphone. I do have a couple that I kept for sentimental reasons, but they dont number over 20. I do have scores of pics of us together, but that's about it...and some gifts that he gave me...now I am wondering...what can I do to cement this further? Should I consider asking for a few more affidavits from people I know to verify our relationship? I am worried about the possibility that my case will be rejected because we don't have enough proof of our relationship. We never thought we'd be going the green card route; hence why I never cared about all this before...now it seems that it's going to come back to bite me in the ####

Any thoughts, suggestions, etc. would be highly appreciated...

kat

[Minya's wife 25]

what service were you using to web-chat? With Skype and Messenger you can print out the chat-logs by Ctrl+PrintScreen and pasting in to a word document. (you have to repeat the process for each screen, as w/ this you're only copy/pasting as much info as fits into the window at a time, but that can be used as proof of ongoing relationship/communication.

[meowmeowmeow 1]

what service were you using to web-chat? With Skype and Messenger you can print out the chat-logs by Ctrl+PrintScreen and pasting in to a word document. (you have to repeat the process for each screen, as w/ this you're only copy/pasting as much info as fits into the window at a time, but that can be used as proof of ongoing relationship/communication.

Well, would they have logs saved from over 2 years?

I also used several different computers to chat with him, so did he (for me, work and my laptop, him= friends' PC's, Internet cafes, etc etc.)

I cant believe that they need this stuff...

I also think I did something really dumb last summer, I had been saving all the phone cards that I had used to call him but I had to move last July and storage was so tight I had to chuck a lot of my stuff out. I threw away the bag of cards thinking I wouldn't need them, but took pics just in case. Would this be acceptable you think...I really have no other way to prove this...

Has anyone else been in my situation before?

[UmmSqueakster 54]

What kind of documents/evidence do you have related to your actual wedding? Did your family ever travel to meet him?

I know we sent photocopies of the envelopes of 5 or 6 letters we had sent each other, in addition to a few select emails and a few screen shots of my inbox from various points in our relationship. I didn't include anything related to the telephone or chatting programs. We sent probably 2 dozen pictures, including ones with my family and him in egypt.

Some people have boatloads of evidence, and the embassy people don't even look at it. We had a middling amount, mainly submitted with the original petition, and the interviewer didn't ask for anymore.

At this point, breath in, breath out...calm... If you worry yourself to death, the process will be hell. If you take it easy, inshaAllah it won't stress you out too badly.

[meowmeowmeow 1]

What kind of documents/evidence do you have related to your actual wedding? Did your family ever travel to meet him?

I know we sent photocopies of the envelopes of 5 or 6 letters we had sent each other, in addition to a few select emails and a few screen shots of my inbox from various points in our relationship. I didn't include anything related to the telephone or chatting programs. We sent probably 2 dozen pictures, including ones with my family and him in egypt.

Some people have boatloads of evidence, and the embassy people don't even look at it. We had a middling amount, mainly submitted with the original petition, and the interviewer didn't ask for anymore.

At this point, breath in, breath out...calm... If you worry yourself to death, the process will be hell. If you take it easy, inshaAllah it won't stress you out too badly.

I have my marriage book (in Turkey they put the details of your marriage in this small little pleather notebook, I have had this translated already and notarized and sent it off with the I-130). I did not include the next forms with the I-130 package, but they also gave us two additional pieces of paper, one to congratulate us personally from their office and the other to say that they planted a tree in our name (!!!) in Ankara as a gift to us for our marriage, lol. Would those even help?

My aunt and cousins live in Turkey, and were the ones around at the time for our ceremony. My mother and sister met him last summer in Jordan when they came to visit for a few days. I have some pictures of us all hanging out...I do not have pics with my Turkish family though, theyre kind of shy about taking pics to begin with, not sure why.

UmmSqueak, thanks for your reply. I suppose I am just freaking out about everything related to this nowadays because I quite simply am so sick and damn tired of waiting! I am in fact miserable and pissed off every day I wake up because of this. I just want to start a life finally together. Ive waited enough time... and I dont want to spend another birthday without him. see, now I am whining here...another reason why I want this to end, I have become annoying!

Thank you again...Inshallah things will go smoothly and quickly...I just dont want there to be any reason WHATSOEVER for these people to say no to us...we are simple common fools who just want to be together and not bother with anyone...that's it.

I guess...like everyone else too.

Sorry for the emotional tirades...I dont know how some of you handle this ordeal

[meowmeowmeow 1]

i just had another thought. i would send money via moneygram from time to time for him to buy me something, or for him to put aside, etc. can i use the transactions i made with moneygram/western union to also prove our relationship or is this tacky?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

enraptured.

You havent filed yet right?

For the initial petitions you can just send proof that you are legally married. You CAN send i affidavits and pics n such, but many people have been approved with little to no intitial evidence.

We did go overboard on the intial submissions, but i think it was uneccesary.

The real time to "prove it" is at the interview. Start by changing your settings to "archive" on whatever IM service you use. They wont auto archive on yahoo, i dont know about the others. Then you can cut and paste the screenprints to word as someone else suggested.

Just start from today and keep copies of everything. By the time you guys have your interview you will have enough proof, hopefully.

Dont fret about proof with your petition submissions. Just make sure you have ample for the interview.

Good Luck

edit:

I just saw that you have filed.

Even still, start saving everything now.

I personally think moneygram receipts may look suspicious coming from a wife. but that is strictly MY opinion as if I was a CO.

maybe someone with experience in that can correct me.

Edited March 20, 2009 by Y's_habibitk

[ya falaha! 0]

Did you use a home or cell phone to use the phone cards? If so, get a print out of your calling history and circle the 800 numbers from the calling cards. That's what I did.

Like others have said, you don't need a boatload of evidence since they really don't look at it.

My husband had my calling history with the calling card numbers on it, a dozen or so photos, a handful of emails and that was about it. They looked at only the photos.

Good luck!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I have my marriage book (in Turkey they put the details of your marriage in this small little pleather notebook, I have had this translated already and notarized and sent it off with the I-130). I did not include the next forms with the I-130 package, but they also gave us two additional pieces of paper, one to congratulate us personally from their office and the other to say that they planted a tree in our name (!!!) in Ankara as a gift to us for our marriage, lol. Would those even help?

My aunt and cousins live in Turkey, and were the ones around at the time for our ceremony. My mother and sister met him last summer in Jordan when they came to visit for a few days. I have some pictures of us all hanging out...I do not have pics with my Turkish family though, theyre kind of shy about taking pics to begin with, not sure why.

The ones with your mom and sister should definately be included. I know the interviewer was impressed that my family (mom, dad, sister, brother) had met the husband and my inlaws. If you feel like you need more evidence, have your mom, sis, and turkish relatives submit affidavits, if it would put your mind at ease.

How many times have you been to visit him? How much time have you spent together. In general, the more times, the better.

UmmSqueak, thanks for your reply. I suppose I am just freaking out about everything related to this nowadays because I quite simply am so sick and damn tired of waiting! I am in fact miserable and pissed off every day I wake up because of this. I just want to start a life finally together. Ive waited enough time... and I dont want to spend another birthday without him. see, now I am whining here...another reason why I want this to end, I have become annoying!

Ah, I guess i never freaked out about it too much. I had to wait until after I graduated from college and had a job for awhile before I could even apply for him, which turned out to be close to 4 years, so by then I was used to the waiting

Try taking the long view. The husband and I had somehow arbitrarily picked the number 80, as in we'd be together for 80 years inshaAllah. So we looked at it that way, in the grand scheme of things, the time we were apart wasn't much compared to how much time we'd have together in the end.

And here we are, 3 and a half years after he's arrived in the US, and we're getting to annoy the heck out of each other every day

At some point, just make a concious decision to not be pissed off and anxious anymore. It will do wonders for your sanity and blood pressure.

Thank you again...Inshallah things will go smoothly and quickly...I just dont want there to be any reason WHATSOEVER for these people to say no to us...we are simple common fools who just want to be together and not bother with anyone...that's it.

I guess...like everyone else too.

Sorry for the emotional tirades...I dont know how some of you handle this ordeal

Hey, no problem, feel free to vent. People in "the real world" often don't understand how it sucks to be seperated. Just don't get sucked into a whirling pit of despair, which is easy to do.

Also, re: your signature - did you file the I-130 in 08 or 09?

Edited March 20, 2009 by UmmSqueakster

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Primary Sources

Chat logs

call logs

notarized statements from friends and family who had prior knowledge of your relationship.

plane tickets

Secondary Sources

Pix

[meowmeowmeow 1]

enraptured.

You havent filed yet right?

For the initial petitions you can just send proof that you are legally married. You CAN send i affidavits and pics n such, but many people have been approved with little to no intitial evidence.

We did go overboard on the intial submissions, but i think it was uneccesary.

The real time to "prove it" is at the interview. Start by changing your settings to "archive" on whatever IM service you use. They wont auto archive on yahoo, i dont know about the others. Then you can cut and paste the screenprints to word as someone else suggested.

Just start from today and keep copies of everything. By the time you guys have your interview you will have enough proof, hopefully.

Dont fret about proof with your petition submissions. Just make sure you have ample for the interview.

Good Luck

edit:

I just saw that you have filed.

Even still, start saving everything now.

I personally think moneygram receipts may look suspicious coming from a wife. but that is strictly MY opinion as if I was a CO.

maybe someone with experience in that can correct me.

he doesnt have a pc at home and goes to internet cafes and that is even rarely (he feels a bit embarrassed because of his spelling skills) but i guess i'll just ask him to do it for the sake of having proof. thanks for the suggestion.

[meowmeowmeow 1]

Did you use a home or cell phone to use the phone cards? If so, get a print out of your calling history and circle the 800 numbers from the calling cards. That's what I did.

Like others have said, you don't need a boatload of evidence since they really don't look at it.

My husband had my calling history with the calling card numbers on it, a dozen or so photos, a handful of emails and that was about it. They looked at only the photos.

Good luck!

my main issue with this is that i made all those calls through my last cell phone which i dont have anymore..hopefully t-mobile will be kind enough to send me the logs from then...

thanks.

Primary Sources

Chat logs

call logs

notarized statements from friends and family who had prior knowledge of your relationship.

plane tickets

Secondary Sources

Pix

thanks...this helps. i wonder how many affidavits i can get before i go overboard lol... Edited March 21, 2009 by enraptured

[meowmeowmeow 1]

How many times have you been to visit him? How much time have you spent together. In general, the more times, the better.

twice, and both times not to syria. i went to turkey in 2007 when we married, and then to jordan/turkey in 2008. he came by bus from syria to jordan, where we were. we spent a month in jordan and then flew to turkey. then i came back here and he went back to syria by bus...hopefully that won't pose a problem....

Also, re: your signature - did you file the I-130 in 08 or 09?

In 2009... February 4, 2009 is when it was filed....

thank you.

[doodlebugg 10]

Honestly I'd skip the chat logs and just try to get the tmobile records, plane ticket receipts, pictures, etc. I did send chat logs but as I was putting them together I kept thinking this is soooo stupid since anyone could just type this stuff out on Word and make it look like it's an actual chat, you know?

[meowmeowmeow 1]

indeed...there's this option on msn messenger where you can send "voice clips"...that is what we did primarily because it sure beat wasting money on phone cards and what not...that's what worried me too....and seriously, it's kind of annoying for me to think that they'd actually read these things...we talk about stupid stuff....like what i did at work, etc...what he did, how much we missed each other...eh.

well, im going to go overboard in the next few months getting affidavits and stuff, hopefully that will be ok.