His family is forcing him into wedding annulment, before AOS interview.

[forced-divorce 0]

Hello all,

I am in shock. I am sorry if my post won't have an easy to understand sequence of facts, but I am not recovered of what happened last week.

I lived in the US for 2 years in a work visa. I was laid off about 3 months ago. My boyfriend for 10 months then, who is a USC, and I decided to get married because he loved me and wanted me to stay - which we did about 2 months ago. I received my AOS interview notice one week ago.

He is 13 years younger than me. Due to his parents, he delayed a bit moving in with me. So, he just moved to my house last week. The day after he moved, his parents found out about the marriage and my age, and apparently obliged him to go back to their house. They "completely disapprove" of us and apparently he is not willing to fight them to be with me.

It seems his parents are seeking a marriage annulment. I asked him in what grounds, as in my state annulments are only by fault. He said this is not necessarily true, it can be done with no fault, but I think he's wrong and doesn't really know it.

What should I do? I don't want to leave the US. I married him because I loved him and wanted to be with him, not to get the green card!

Is there any way to still be able to get the green card if he is not willing to go to AOS interview with me?

He said he will talk with his parents and may go to the interview. Is this a good option?

What can I do about the annulment? Can they do it one-sided, or do I have to agree/sign?

I understand a divorce would be in my best interest? Can they do a one-sided divorce?

I am afraid cause I don't know what happens if I have to leave the country (my money is vanishing)... and leave an open annulment-divorce case.

Also, I don't know what the best option would be - withdraw the application and file for an annulment myself so they can't do anything that will jeopardize my future US entries. My state does not have no-fault divorce and you have to be legally separated for one year to file for divorce.

I can't file for VAWA - he never abused me. He is a great guy who's going through this cause he's too young.

Is there a way I can stay here? Is it worth it? I really don't want to leave.

Edited February 9, 2009 by forced-divorce

[justashooter 430]

Is there a way I can stay here? Is it worth it? I really don't want to leave.

It sounds like you are married to someone who is not in control of his life. it sounds like you married someone who is not capable of makign the decision to marry. it sounds like the man's (?) parents are trying to protect him by arranging an annulment (prolly based on grounds of misrepresentation). is there someting you are not telling us?

[pushbrk 12,092]

Is there a way I can stay here? Is it worth it? I really don't want to leave.

It sounds like you are married to someone who is not in control of his life. it sounds like you married someone who is not capable of makign the decision to marry. it sounds like the man's (?) parents are trying to protect him by arranging an annulment (prolly based on grounds of misrepresentation). is there someting you are not telling us?

There's probably a whole lot he's not telling his wife or his parents. People not in control of their lives are like that. I suspect misrepresentation will be the grounds whether true or manufactured. It's an unfortunate situation but without the couple both attending the interview and showing a bona fide ongoing relationship, the application to adjust status would be denied. Whether there's another way would depend on the applicant's other circumstances but adjustment based on the marriage would fail.

If the annulment is granted on the grounds of misrepresentation by the intending immigrant, the consequence could potentially be a lifetime ban from US entry. This is to be avoided if possible.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

It sounds like he married you just so you could stay here. This is probably what his parents know as well. He is obviously incapable of making his own decisions. If he isnt putting up a fight, perhaps he thinks that you guys married for the wrong reasons?

I dont have any advise on how to stay in america

[forced-divorce 0]

Hello, thank you for your answer.

Well, the thing is he's only 22 and it seems that when his parents found out that we got married, they brained-washed him that he made a really bad decision. They think he should not be married at this age and have such responsibilities, and from a loving husband he went to a cold person in just one day - he started to agree with them.

It's true, they are trying to protect him, but it's not like I am looking into getting money from them or something as I have signed a prenup.

Also true: maybe he wasn't prepared to get married. Maybe he did it only because he loved me and wanted me to stay, but when things got rough, (his parents finding out about the marriage) he couldn't take it anymore and gave up. But the thing is now I am left here with this huge problem, without the man I love, alone, and it seems I also won't be able to stay here as my AOS interview did not happen yet. I also spend more than 10K with staying here all this time, and soon I won't have money.

To add to that, god knows on what grounds they intend to file for an annulment, as in my state it is fault-based. I am afraid they will say I married him for the green card or something = fraud.

I am lost and I don't know what to do. Advices please.

I don't think there is something I did not tell you guys.

just a note: they parents accepted me before they found out about my age and the marriage.

Is there a way I can stay here? Is it worth it? I really don't want to leave.

It sounds like you are married to someone who is not in control of his life. it sounds like you married someone who is not capable of makign the decision to marry. it sounds like the man's (?) parents are trying to protect him by arranging an annulment (prolly based on grounds of misrepresentation). is there someting you are not telling us?

Edited February 9, 2009 by forced-divorce

[forced-divorce 0]

Is there a way I can stay here? Is it worth it? I really don't want to leave.

It sounds like you are married to someone who is not in control of his life. it sounds like you married someone who is not capable of makign the decision to marry. it sounds like the man's (?) parents are trying to protect him by arranging an annulment (prolly based on grounds of misrepresentation). is there someting you are not telling us?

There's probably a whole lot he's not telling his wife or his parents. People not in control of their lives are like that. I suspect misrepresentation will be the grounds whether true or manufactured. It's an unfortunate situation but without the couple both attending the interview and showing a bona fide ongoing relationship, the application to adjust status would be denied. Whether there's another way would depend on the applicant's other circumstances but adjustment based on the marriage would fail.

If the annulment is granted on the grounds of misrepresentation by the intending immigrant, the consequence could potentially be a lifetime ban from US entry. This is to be avoided if possible.

pushbrk, you mean they will file for an annulment in the grounds of misrepresentation? what could it mean in my case? (I don't know this law concept and it was hard to try to understand the wiki entry). Does it mean they will say something like I pretended to marry for love but actually only wanted a green card or something? If so, this can be said about him too, as he married me cause he loved me and wanted mw to stay.

Regarding your second paragraph - what could I do to avoid it? Should I file for annulment first, on basis of abandonment or something similar? Does USCIS get reports from divorce courts? How would they know? What if I withdraw the AOS petition now to prevent it? It is sad, I didn't want this to happen.

It sounds like he married you just so you could stay here. This is probably what his parents know as well. He is obviously incapable of making his own decisions. If he isnt putting up a fight, perhaps he thinks that you guys married for the wrong reasons?

I dont have any advise on how to stay in america

Hi Lisa, yes, I think that's the case. He came to the conclusion that we probably married for the wrong reasons and it was a mistake.

BUT that happened after he had the talk with the parents. Before that, we were making plans together and having fun.

I can't believe this is happening.

Edited February 9, 2009 by forced-divorce

[sereia 0]

I don't see how he could get an annulment. You need proof for an annulment. Does he have proof you lied to him about your age? Sure doesn't sound like it. It just sounds like a case of early regret and pressure from his parents, but that alone does not qualify for an annulment.

Edited February 9, 2009 by sereia

[forced-divorce 0]

Sereia, I think so too.

No of course I never lied. He knew my age exactly. During the 1 year we were together, I tried to break up saying it couldn't work cause he's too young, and he convinced me we were too good together to break up. I agree, we were. I still think we were and it hurts too much now that he, one-sided, decided to do it. I am devastated.

The only way in my opinion they could get an annulment is trying to prove that I entered it by wanting a green card ONLY.

But does it work if you have proof or relationship-dating for one year? I have pictures, emails, phone calls, millions os pages of online chat...

I think it will be bad for him too if they said something like that.

I don't see how he could get an annulment. You need proof for an annulment. Does he have proof you lied to him about your age? Sure doesn't sound like it. It just sounds like a case of early regret and pressure from his parents, but that alone does not qualify for an annulment.

[Old Dominion 26]

What a terrible shock! Who can judge what this guy is up to, or the extent to which he is still emotionally tied to his parents. No matter how this turns out, he has to deal forever with the fact that he was not open with his parents and, I guess, was not open with you either.

You say he seems willing to go to the interview with you. But if you have only recently begun to live together, what proofs do you have that the marriage is bona fide, like joint bank account, joint utility bills, joint lease, etc. etc. Without them, there isn't much hope, is there?

So, whether or not he seeks an annulment, your status in the U.S. is already in jeopardy, not to say the nature of your relationship. About the only opportunity to overcome this lies with his willingness to grow up and act like an independent 22-year-old and decide to make the marriage work.

[forced-divorce 0]

Well, I think we both loved each other and our main goal was me staying and staying together. I believe he wouldn't marry me if I could stay without getting married to him.

I am hurt, but I actually don't hate him or something - he is a great person and now that I think of it, I think he probably did more than he should-could to be able to stay with me. The talk with his parents made him realize he did a mistake.

We do have utility bills together, but we don't have a lease as we were waiting for my apartment lease to end in a few months to move to another bigger apartment. We also didn't get the chance to open a joint account together - we were going to do so last week, when this all happened. But in spite of that, my immigration specialist said we can work around that cause my NOA for interview came too soon... what do you guys think???

Yes, I don't think he will want to reconcile. I would, I love him. He said he loves me too, but that we should not be together. That the age difference is too big and we are in different stages of life. I don't think he would change his mind and try to make it work. He is really convinced it can't work, apparently. Damn parents, GRRR.

But you know, because all this was not my fault, because I wanted this to work cause I love him, and he backed up, I think I deserve the right to stay... this is quite unfair for me. I feel like I was left out in the gutter.

What hurts is that I thought I was with someone I could trust as my family when I was dating him... and he never did anything to show otherwise. and now this.

What a terrible shock! Who can judge what this guy is up to, or the extent to which he is still emotionally tied to his parents. No matter how this turns out, he has to deal forever with the fact that he was not open with his parents and, I guess, was not open with you either.

You say he seems willing to go to the interview with you. But if you have only recently begun to live together, what proofs do you have that the marriage is bona fide, like joint bank account, joint utility bills, joint lease, etc. etc. Without them, there isn't much hope, is there?

So, whether or not he seeks an annulment, your status in the U.S. is already in jeopardy, not to say the nature of your relationship. About the only opportunity to overcome this lies with his willingness to grow up and act like an independent 22-year-old and decide to make the marriage work.

Edited February 9, 2009 by forced-divorce

[forced-divorce 0]

I also think his parents think I brain washed him into marry me, because of me being older.

Oh man, I feel like a child when I am with him. We talk to each other as if we were the same age - there are no control issues or something.

I just wanted to be with him and make him happy. This is too sad

I think he got scarred too that because of my age I would want a child in a few years, and he is definitely not thinking about it yet, because of his age. I thought our love would make things work in the end. and it didn't

[pushbrk 12,092]

Well, I think we both loved each other and our main goal was me staying and staying together. I believe he wouldn't marry me if I could stay without getting married to him.

I am hurt, but I actually don't hate him or something - he is a great person and now that I think of it, I think he probably did more than he should-could to be able to stay with me. The talk with his parents made him realize he did a mistake.

We do have utility bills together, but we don't have a lease as we were waiting for my apartment lease to end in a few months to move to another bigger apartment. We also didn't get the chance to open a joint account together - we were going to do so last week, when this all happened. But in spite of that, my immigration specialist said we can work around that cause my NOA for interview came too soon... what do you guys think???

Yes, I don't think he will want to reconcile. I would, I love him. He said he loves me too, but that we should not be together. That the age difference is too big and we are in different stages of life. I don't think he would change his mind and try to make it work. He is really convinced it can't work, apparently. Damn parents, GRRR.

But you know, because all this was not my fault, because I wanted this to work cause I love him, and he backed up, I think I deserve the right to stay... this is quite unfair for me. I feel like I was left out in the gutter.

What hurts is that I thought I was with someone I could trust as my family when I was dating him... and he never did anything to show otherwise. and now this.

What a terrible shock! Who can judge what this guy is up to, or the extent to which he is still emotionally tied to his parents. No matter how this turns out, he has to deal forever with the fact that he was not open with his parents and, I guess, was not open with you either.

You say he seems willing to go to the interview with you. But if you have only recently begun to live together, what proofs do you have that the marriage is bona fide, like joint bank account, joint utility bills, joint lease, etc. etc. Without them, there isn't much hope, is there?

So, whether or not he seeks an annulment, your status in the U.S. is already in jeopardy, not to say the nature of your relationship. About the only opportunity to overcome this lies with his willingness to grow up and act like an independent 22-year-old and decide to make the marriage work.

Frankly, it sounds to me like regardless of any annulment, your chances of AOS were not good based on the bona fides. It isn't even making a good case in this generally immigrant friendly forum, so I doubt it would make much of a case before a USCIS adjudicator. In any event, unless he goes to the interview with you and you convince an adjudicator the marriage is bona fide, nothing else is really going to matter.

Consult an immigration or family law attorney about how to avoid a finding of misrepresentation. I'm just saying it's bad. I don't know whether or how it can be avoided.

[forced-divorce 0]

Regarding the bonafides, as I said I have a lot of evidence of the relationship that lead to the wedding. (Including pictures of him with my parents who visited the US, and me and his), and pictures of us in friends parties. The only thing I don't have is a joint account because we were going to open one this week. I had money up to now, so I didn't need his yet. If he adds me to his account now, would that be a good evidence? Or if we file taxes together (which I doubt he will)?

But I guess my main question is: if he goes with me to the interview, and I get it approved - what happens if they file for divorce let's say when we are 1 year married in December, and by then separated since after the AOS interview? Can I file any kind of waiver to remove conditions?

Frankly, it sounds to me like regardless of any annulment, your chances of AOS were not good based on the bona fides. It isn't even making a good case in this generally immigrant friendly forum, so I doubt it would make much of a case before a USCIS adjudicator. In any event, unless he goes to the interview with you and you convince an adjudicator the marriage is bona fide, nothing else is really going to matter.

Consult an immigration or family law attorney about how to avoid a finding of misrepresentation. I'm just saying it's bad. I don't know whether or how it can be avoided.

Edited February 9, 2009 by forced-divorce

[pushbrk 12,092]

Yes, you can remove conditions on your own, as long as your proof of divorce or annulment doesn't include a judge's finding of fraud in a divorce or annulment. Your problem with bona fides is that you haven't been living together. Your husband lives with his parents. If you and your husband reconcile, you can certainly try to complete the status adjustment to conditional permanent resident. From what you say, I don't think your chances are good even if you reconcile and attend the interview together.

Regarding the bonafides, as I said I have a lot of evidence of the relationship that lead to the wedding. (Including pictures of him with my parents who visited the US, and me and his), and pictures of us in friends parties. The only thing I don't have is a joint account because we were going to open one this week. I had money up to now, so I didn't need his yet. If he adds me to his account now, would that be a good evidence? Or if we file taxes together (which I doubt he will)?

But I guess my main question is: if he goes with me to the interview, and I get it approved - what happens if they file for divorce let's say when we are 1 year married in December, and by then separated since after the AOS interview? Can I file any kind of waiver to remove conditions?

Frankly, it sounds to me like regardless of any annulment, your chances of AOS were not good based on the bona fides. It isn't even making a good case in this generally immigrant friendly forum, so I doubt it would make much of a case before a USCIS adjudicator. In any event, unless he goes to the interview with you and you convince an adjudicator the marriage is bona fide, nothing else is really going to matter.

Consult an immigration or family law attorney about how to avoid a finding of misrepresentation. I'm just saying it's bad. I don't know whether or how it can be avoided.

[forced-divorce 0]

Can I remove conditions on my own even if I been married with him for only 3-4 months?

Yes, you can remove conditions on your own, as long as your proof of divorce or annulment doesn't include a judge's finding of fraud in a divorce or annulment. Your problem with bona fides is that you haven't been living together. Your husband lives with his parents. If you and your husband reconcile, you can certainly try to complete the status adjustment to conditional permanent resident. From what you say, I don't think your chances are good even if you reconcile and attend the interview together.

Regarding the bonafides, as I said I have a lot of evidence of the relationship that lead to the wedding. (Including pictures of him with my parents who visited the US, and me and his), and pictures of us in friends parties. The only thing I don't have is a joint account because we were going to open one this week. I had money up to now, so I didn't need his yet. If he adds me to his account now, would that be a good evidence? Or if we file taxes together (which I doubt he will)?

But I guess my main question is: if he goes with me to the interview, and I get it approved - what happens if they file for divorce let's say when we are 1 year married in December, and by then separated since after the AOS interview? Can I file any kind of waiver to remove conditions?

Frankly, it sounds to me like regardless of any annulment, your chances of AOS were not good based on the bona fides. It isn't even making a good case in this generally immigrant friendly forum, so I doubt it would make much of a case before a USCIS adjudicator. In any event, unless he goes to the interview with you and you convince an adjudicator the marriage is bona fide, nothing else is really going to matter.

Consult an immigration or family law attorney about how to avoid a finding of misrepresentation. I'm just saying it's bad. I don't know whether or how it can be avoided.