I need to Vent and some help!!

[Leasel7 1]

crazyinlove, I am so sorry to hear about what happened. I well remember your fiance posting about the problems with his parents and felt bad for you at the time, but this betrayal is much worse than anything they could inflict. I can't begin to imagine what would motivate him to cheat on you while going through the trouble to get you here on a K1 visa...but the fact that he was unwilling/unable to take on his parents for treating you so badly tells us something about his maturity level. The cheating may be his way of attempting to end the engagement and detach from you with minimal direct confrontation; some men tend to end their current relationship by getting involved in a new one first; that way the outgoing lady friend is less likely to cling.

Anyway, I know this is very painful, but let me echo the others who have said it is better that you found out now, before giving up everything you have in Australia to come to the US for him. Take good care of yourself and know that you deserve so much better than this.

[Girona40 1]

Oh geez, shows you how blonde I am. I just now realized the OP's fiance posts here too. I reread his posts, he sounded SO excited when she was coming here to visit.

I dunno what to think.

I wouldn't worry that he reads and posts here, Tracy. If he did sleep with someone else while his fiance was visiting then he knows just what a scumbag he is anyway.

I am sorry that this happened. I did have my concerns a while back when he posted about the problems with his mother accepting you. This is a man with no backbone and is afraid of his own mother. Is this the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with? Personally, I think you had a narrow escape.

Edited June 9, 2006 by Girona40

[almaty 19]

sister...you need to talk to ky and not on here...too much misguided information is given and this is between you two...dean

[babybunny 2]

I need to Vent!!

I’m a long time reader first time poster.

I know a few of you are familiar with my story through Kygeographer ...

well I went to visit him to see him graduate and his mum hated me, didn’t want to find out anything about me anything I said was shot down. she made me feel so bad for being there. Then his dad came in and I didn’t exist in his eyes, he wouldn’t look at or talk to me. The whole week was bad.

I end up going to Montana to visit him at his new job and all week he treats me like I’m his flat mate not his fiancée. I’m trying to find out what’s going on all week and he won’t tell me anything.

All he can tell me is that he doesn’t want to be with me cause his not ready for marriage even thought he was the one pushing to get married.

I fly home to Australia and then find out:

* That he had Sex while I was there with another girl…..

* about 2 hours after we had had sex.

So the girl his meant to be marrying is home asleep and his off have sex with someone else. I just don’t understand how someone could do that!!

I Loved him so much and still do.

I fly across the world to see him with money I had to borrow and I went through all this ####### with his family then I find out that he has cheated on me while I was there.

I’m just so upset. I just can’t understand, How someone could do that??

sh it..

you know i am familar with this story. we also told him to stand up for you when his mom was talking ####### to you. what a jerk. move on!

[Nessa 23]

sister...you need to talk to ky and not on here...

ditto

we have a saying here in brazil: Roupa suja a gente lava em casa (translation: dirty laundry we wash at home)

[Ladylethal 12]

Yeah, we do have that saying ... and it´s a good one.

I am sorry for you though.

[CrazyInLove 0]

I didn’t want to air my laundry on here but I did want to get some info and some advice … he is the first guy who has broken my heart in this way other times its been a nice break up and I am still friends with other guys.

I wanted advice from people who love there other halves and would do anything for them. Going through the whole visa process is hard and I know there is a lot of Love through out this forum.

I just don’t understand how someone you love and are planning to marry how you could cheat on them. ?

When they would do anything for you. They would fly across the world (with money they don’t have right now) just to spend a few days with you.

I wanted advice on why someone would think nothing of it.. I have tried to talk to him about it but he won’t take reasonability for it. He says that he was drunk and stoned when it happened and it just happened. Those things don’t just happen.

If he wasn’t that in love with me then why couldn’t he tell me that before I borrowed money to go and see him??

And yes I have asked him these questions but he keeps making up excuses. A few of you are right he has no backbone! And I am better off with out him. But I still Love the guy and don’t understand how this could happen.

I also thought he might see this and see some of your posts and it would make he realize what he has done.

[Ban Hammer 14,269]

sister...you need to talk to ky and not on here...

ditto

we have a saying here in brazil: Roupa suja a gente lava em casa (translation: dirty laundry we wash at home)

i thought it was we make the dirty laundry at home

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

I didn't want to air my laundry on here but I did want to get some info and some advice … he is the first guy who has broken my heart in this way other times its been a nice break up and I am still friends with other guys.

I wanted advice from people who love there other halves and would do anything for them. Going through the whole visa process is hard and I know there is a lot of Love through out this forum.

I just don't understand how someone you love and are planning to marry how you could cheat on them. ?

When they would do anything for you. They would fly across the world (with money they don't have right now) just to spend a few days with you.

I wanted advice on why someone would think nothing of it.. I have tried to talk to him about it but he won't take reasonability for it. He says that he was drunk and stoned when it happened and it just happened. Those things don't just happen.

If he wasn't that in love with me then why couldn't he tell me that before I borrowed money to go and see him??

And yes I have asked him these questions but he keeps making up excuses. A few of you are right he has no backbone! And I am better off with out him. But I still Love the guy and don't understand how this could happen.

I also thought he might see this and see some of your posts and it would make he realize what he has done.

There truly isn't an excuse for you being treated the way you have described. Darling why waste any more effort in trying to make him "realize" what he has done? You made a sacrifice to be with the person you loved during a very special time in his life, and he could not even make an effort for you while you were 10k miles from home! If you can't trust him while you are near him, how can you trust him when you are away?

I was married to a man for 16 years who would not take up for me with his mother, guess what happened? Here I am happily married to someone else that devotes his everything to me and to our life and love together. It is difficult to make it work with a man who is still a momma's boy. I wish you well, and a love that you deserve!

Bethanie

[kygeographer 0]

Ok, so I've been sitting back and watching the ####### fly. I do believe that you're only hearing one side of the story. I'd like to voice mine, but I don't feel that a public forum is the proper place to do it, like Dean said. All I can say is that there is some misinformation being given here, and only one side of the story is being told. However, I do not wish to give CrazyInLove more ammunition to work with at this point, so I'll keep quiet. If you'd like to discuss my side, feel free to PM me, or reach me on AIM under EKUTexan. I should be around all evening.

Edited June 9, 2006 by kygeographer

[danae 0]

I didn't want to air my laundry on here but I did want to get some info and some advice … he is the first guy who has broken my heart in this way other times its been a nice break up and I am still friends with other guys.

I wanted advice from people who love there other halves and would do anything for them. Going through the whole visa process is hard and I know there is a lot of Love through out this forum.

I just don't understand how someone you love and are planning to marry how you could cheat on them. ?

When they would do anything for you. They would fly across the world (with money they don't have right now) just to spend a few days with you.

I wanted advice on why someone would think nothing of it.. I have tried to talk to him about it but he won't take reasonability for it. He says that he was drunk and stoned when it happened and it just happened. Those things don't just happen.

If he wasn't that in love with me then why couldn't he tell me that before I borrowed money to go and see him??

And yes I have asked him these questions but he keeps making up excuses. A few of you are right he has no backbone! And I am better off with out him. But I still Love the guy and don't understand how this could happen.

I also thought he might see this and see some of your posts and it would make he realize what he has done.

There truly isn't an excuse for you being treated the way you have described. Darling why waste any more effort in trying to make him "realize" what he has done? You made a sacrifice to be with the person you loved during a very special time in his life, and he could not even make an effort for you while you were 10k miles from home! If you can't trust him while you are near him, how can you trust him when you are away?

I was married to a man for 16 years who would not take up for me with his mother, guess what happened? Here I am happily married to someone else that devotes his everything to me and to our life and love together. It is difficult to make it work with a man who is still a momma's boy. I wish you well, and a love that you deserve!

Bethanie

I completely agree. You wont succeed in making him 'realise' anything. So put your efforts elsewhere- like in healing your own hurt adn movig on. None of us know the full details, or his motivation for doing what he did, but I can be sure that you dont need someone in your life that would hurt you that way. Best of luck to you in your future- I am sure you will find someone worthy of your love x

[TracyTN 237]

I really don't see the need to justify one side or the other online (or off, for that matter) to a bunch of strangers. Just really really baffles me.

Sounds like the two of you need to talk a lot. I don't know what a lot of gainsaying here will do.

Oh - and edited to add - because I am the 'instigator of the post' and also would let down my gal Frances without it -

Edited June 10, 2006 by TracyTN

[danae 0]

I really don't see the need to justify one side or the other online (or off, for that matter) to a bunch of strangers. Just really really baffles me.

Sounds like the two of you need to talk a lot. I don't know what a lot of gainsaying here will do.

Oh - and edited to add - because I am the 'instigator of the post' and also would let down my gal Frances without it -

Yes it is not for a bunch of strangers to decide which 'side of the story' is the truth- this isnt a court show. Kygeographer, Crazyinlove came on here for some moral support- she was feeling like c**p and the rest of us tried to help her feel better.

Whether whats she told us was the full story or not does not matter to us. If she wanted to hear some words of advice that is fine, and thats what we offered. The rest of it is down for you two to sort out.

[iceyspots 0]

[almaty 19]

Ok, so I've been sitting back and watching the ####### fly. I do believe that you're only hearing one side of the story. I'd like to voice mine, but I don't feel that a public forum is the proper place to do it, like Dean said. All I can say is that there is some misinformation being given here, and only one side of the story is being told. However, I do not wish to give CrazyInLove more ammunition to work with at this point, so I'll keep quiet. If you'd like to discuss my side, feel free to PM me, or reach me on AIM under EKUTexan. I should be around all evening.

i agree brother ky..