hardship

[ms_jinga_lala 0]

My income is not a problem and I have the money to go see my fiancee. However, I can't get time off from my job until February and in addition to that I have to find someone who can stay with my 3 kids and keep them in school as usual. I'm really worried about all of this. If travel advisories come out and it's no longer safe for me to travel over there, would that be eligible to count as a hardship for not meeting in person? I really don't want to wait however long it takes for the mess to be done with to go see the love of my life. I would love to go ahead and file if something happens and I can't go.

I'm only asking this as a worst case scenario. If something happens and I can't make arrangements for my kids to be taken care of while I'm gone, would that qualify as a hardship for not being able to visit? I really don't anticipate this happening, but I want to know just in case. I would love to say I have family around that can help, but to be honest I only have my dad here and he's disabled (I live with him to help take care of him). I'm just not so sure he can deal with them for too long (and I'm more than willing to shorten my trip to India should that be necessary). Just FYI, my kids are 14, 13, and 6 so it's not like he would be changing diapers and in addition my oldest 2 love to cook and often take the stove away from me lol. The kids are fairly self-sustaining except when it comes to getting up for school and cleaning up their messes. My Fiancee's family would not allow him to travel here as he has no relatives in the states to take care of him. They are extremely over protective of him and do not believe in leaving any family member alone at any time for any reason. So I'm certain they would never put him on a plane to America to marry me, no matter what kind of papers I fill out stating I'm going to marry and support him. Any thoughts or ideas on if this would qualify for hardship are appreciated.

Thank you!

[sara..... 371]

i think im not really understanding the question, if his family will never put him on a plane to come here and marry u what kind of visa are u applying for?

im confused

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

My income is not a problem and I have the money to go see my fiancee. However, I can't get time off from my job until February and in addition to that I have to find someone who can stay with my 3 kids and keep them in school as usual. I'm really worried about all of this. If travel advisories come out and it's no longer safe for me to travel over there, would that be eligible to count as a hardship for not meeting in person? I really don't want to wait however long it takes for the mess to be done with to go see the love of my life. I would love to go ahead and file if something happens and I can't go.

I'm only asking this as a worst case scenario. If something happens and I can't make arrangements for my kids to be taken care of while I'm gone, would that qualify as a hardship for not being able to visit? I really don't anticipate this happening, but I want to know just in case. I would love to say I have family around that can help, but to be honest I only have my dad here and he's disabled (I live with him to help take care of him). I'm just not so sure he can deal with them for too long (and I'm more than willing to shorten my trip to India should that be necessary). Just FYI, my kids are 14, 13, and 6 so it's not like he would be changing diapers and in addition my oldest 2 love to cook and often take the stove away from me lol. The kids are fairly self-sustaining except when it comes to getting up for school and cleaning up their messes. My Fiancee's family would not allow him to travel here as he has no relatives in the states to take care of him. They are extremely over protective of him and do not believe in leaving any family member alone at any time for any reason. So I'm certain they would never put him on a plane to America to marry me, no matter what kind of papers I fill out stating I'm going to marry and support him. Any thoughts or ideas on if this would qualify for hardship are appreciated.

Thank you!

If I understand your question you are trying to find a way around the meeting in person in the last two year requirement. It is nearly impossible to get around that requirement. There are rare exceptions for religion but it would have to be very well documented. You are going to have to find some way to meet in person before you file.

[Old Dominion 26]

Can you arrange to meet him in the UK?

[ms_jinga_lala 0]

I'm filing for the K-1. What I meant was his parents won't let him get on a plane to come here and marry me if they don't meet me in person first. They know we are serious, but they want to make sure I'm the kind of person who would take good care of him. They don't let him travel anywhere alone, not even to visit his family only 40 KM away. I'm not trying to get out of meeting him in person, I'm just worried now since things are getting a little messy over there that we won't get to meet. I do have options for my kids, but as a mom I've gotten used to planning for the worst, sorry if I seemed like I was trying to get out of this. We have an engagement ceremony planned, I have no intention of missing if there is any way I can get there.

Thank you for the meeting in UK suggestion Old Dominion. He does have a brother in Australia and while I know they won't let him go to the UK, maybe they will let him visit his brother and I can meet him there. Then maybe they would even go with him and that could solve this whole problem. You gave me a great idea, again thank you!

[Cham 3]

I'm filing for the K-1. What I meant was his parents won't let him get on a plane to come here and marry me if they don't meet me in person first. They know we are serious, but they want to make sure I'm the kind of person who would take good care of him. They don't let him travel anywhere alone, not even to visit his family only 40 KM away. I'm not trying to get out of meeting him in person, I'm just worried now since things are getting a little messy over there that we won't get to meet. I do have options for my kids, but as a mom I've gotten used to planning for the worst, sorry if I seemed like I was trying to get out of this. We have an engagement ceremony planned, I have no intention of missing if there is any way I can get there.

Thank you for the meeting in UK suggestion Old Dominion. He does have a brother in Australia and while I know they won't let him go to the UK, maybe they will let him visit his brother and I can meet him there. Then maybe they would even go with him and that could solve this whole problem. You gave me a great idea, again thank you!

I realize it is his culture..but is he not an adult???? good luck

[shaggy_mutt 0]

I'm filing for the K-1. What I meant was his parents won't let him get on a plane to come here and marry me if they don't meet me in person first. They know we are serious, but they want to make sure I'm the kind of person who would take good care of him. They don't let him travel anywhere alone, not even to visit his family only 40 KM away. I'm not trying to get out of meeting him in person, I'm just worried now since things are getting a little messy over there that we won't get to meet. I do have options for my kids, but as a mom I've gotten used to planning for the worst, sorry if I seemed like I was trying to get out of this. We have an engagement ceremony planned, I have no intention of missing if there is any way I can get there.

Thank you for the meeting in UK suggestion Old Dominion. He does have a brother in Australia and while I know they won't let him go to the UK, maybe they will let him visit his brother and I can meet him there. Then maybe they would even go with him and that could solve this whole problem. You gave me a great idea, again thank you!

I realize it is his culture..but is he not an adult???? good luck

Not approving of the marriage unless they meet you, that part makes sense to me. They want to know that he's in good hands. But to say that he isn't allowed to go 40 km by himself, yet is ready for a permanent move to be far from a family that it sounds like he's very close to... how is his family situation going to impact your marriage?

[SingleCharles 0]

I think you should be focused on meeting face-to-face rather than looking at alternatives to getting around the system. What if your SO has bad breath or a nasty scratching habit? What if they snore? What if they like to eat peat moss in the middle of the night? Huey Lewis warned us about the "Power of Love".

Put all your energy and resources towards meeting your SO face-to-face and forget about figuring how to shortcut the system.

I wish you a lifetime of happiness and good luck in the love department.

Charles

[R de la R 2]

I think you should be focused on meeting face-to-face rather than looking at alternatives to getting around the system. What if your SO has bad breath or a nasty scratching habit? What if they snore? What if they like to eat peat moss in the middle of the night? Huey Lewis warned us about the "Power of Love".

Put all your energy and resources towards meeting your SO face-to-face and forget about figuring how to shortcut the system.

I wish you a lifetime of happiness and good luck in the love department.

Charles

What if they snore?

Just move his body in the bed, and he will stop for a while. Snoring is a breathing problem in men and also women. Bad thing

Wao, what a protective family, he has.

Yes, I agree get a point where you both can meet face to face and then move with the filling process.

Good Luck!!

[pushbrk 12,093]

. So I'm certain they would never put him on a plane to America to marry me, no matter what kind of papers I fill out stating I'm going to marry and support him. Any thoughts or ideas on if this would qualify for hardship are appreciated.

Thank you!

This doesn't qualify as a hardship. If they won't let him get on a plane alone, to marry you, then either they can all come here and marry you or you will have to go there to marry him or go there to meet him and again to accompany him home. Sounds to me like you, in effect, have four to care for now and would be adding a fifth "child" to the mix. Either way, you must meet in person.

[dagnytaggart 0]

As of right now things are not too bad over there. I am leaving for India on Tuesday to go see my sweet man and visit his family. I have talked to fiancée about the situation over there and he says as long as we stay out of certain areas things will be fine. Security has been heightened and I am not planning to go to any tourist spots so for the most part it should be safe to travel. No matter where you go these days there is always a risk of something happening. Also the meeting of his family is very important not just so that he can come here with their permission but also so you can start building a relationship with them. Indian families are very close knit and there is usually some form of family close by even if it cousins or aunts and uncles. They are just concerned about their son.

When I had talked to several lawyers before we filed for the K-1 and they had said that it is very difficult to prove a relationship and intent to marry if you have not met in person. So in July I got my visa and got my butt over there. Even in this day and age of the internet you can document all your phone conversations and chat sessions but it still probably not be enough to prove the relationship. I would say to plan a trip over there and watch the advisories. Get a plane ticket that can be changed or you can get a refund on if you need to cancel. Talk to him about the situation over there and ask his and his families opinion if it is safe or not for you to visit. Worse case scenario is you have to change or cancel your trip and if you get a plane ticket that can be changed or canceled then you have not lost any money.

Good Luck

[sajori 0]

k\

Edited December 28, 2008 by sajori

[RadzNSteve 0]

Good Luck on your trip and meeting the parents I hope all goes well.

[rmncm 0]

It sounds like your bf needs to grow a pair of testies.

[desert_fox 32]

How old is he??? 12??