Risks associated with marrying a foreign girl

[Tahoma 2,298]

Greetings InnocentBystander...

Welcome to VJ...and thanks for starting an interesting and worthwhile conversation.

You are a young, single guy who is presentable, articulate, financially successful, and caring. You know what you want...and you are are commendably doing your homework so that you will achieve your dream. You will have no problem attracting like-minded women on the internet singles sites. You are a good catch...and you are almost ready to be caught. Your fellow VJers have given you some great advice. It seems to me that the only thing left for you to do is simply to take a chance. There are no guarantees with love. To find the love of your life, you must simply take a chance.

You will avoid scammers because you are not desperate to find someone. Instead, you know to use common sense by taking your time and getting to know her. Even though you will be flattered by all of the attention and interest you are receiving from so many women, you will not jump quickly into any relationship. You will know it in your heart when you find your true love. You may have pitfalls along the way...but that is OK. Keep the faith...it will happen for you.

Perhaps your biggest challenge will be the language barrier. How many Russian women speak passable English? For me, since I speak only English (and some rusty Spanish), one of my highest priorities was to find someone fluent in English because it would be easier for us to get to know one another and to build a deeper relationship. And I believe that good communication is one of the most important ingredients for a successful relationship. I was blessed to find my soulmate in the Philippines...a country where nearly everyone speaks English. I'm not sure about the percentage of English-speaking Russians...that is a question you should ask your fellow VJers. Even if it is a low percentage...remember...all it takes is one gal.

We wish you the best of luck on your journey to find love and happiness.

[Danno 1,228]

Funny, I got the impression the Original Poster is a little "indecisive".

If true, thats a big turn-off for those Russian gals.

[Ban Hammer 14,269]

Funny, I got the impression the Original Poster is a little "indecisive".

If true, thats a big turn-off for those Russian gals.

hmmm i thought this was the big turn off for them:

[natty bumppo 297]

regarding the topic ...

1) you will find happiness

2) you will discover h3ll

either way the risk is no different than marrying a local girl

[Ban Hammer 14,269]

regarding the topic ...

1) you will find happiness

2) you will discover h3ll

either way the risk is no different than marrying a local girl

actually better than marrying a local girl - don't have to go spend most holiday events with her family

[natty bumppo 297]

regarding the topic ...

1) you will find happiness

2) you will discover h3ll

either way the risk is no different than marrying a local girl

actually better than marrying a local girl - don't have to go spend most holiday events with her family

with the ex ... this was never a problem

she was from skokie IL ... we celebrated all holidays

I believe in equal time ... and we set the rules

[mox 298]

Funny, I got the impression the Original Poster is a little "indecisive".

If true, thats a big turn-off for those Russian gals.

I think it's probably a turn-off for most women.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I have four Russian female customers from the business side of the house.

With each of them, I've noticed a few personality traits in common.

1. They're all incredibly confident. The 'American' women run the gamut from timid to cocky but the Russian women I've worked projects for are all confident, but not cocky. They know what they're talking about and they know they know and everyone else knows they know

2. They ask lots of questions. And never a stupid one. They are incisive and know when someone's lying to them or BSing them.

3. The combination of the above makes them all incredibly hot

4. If you do them right, they'll go to bat for you. They don't care for the politics of it. They're the kind of business partner you want in your corner. 3 of them I'm tight with because I did good on their projects. They've helped me out a lot. One I accidentally fvcked over and I haven't been allowed to work a project in her business unit since.

[mox 298]

I have four Russian female customers from the business side of the house.

With each of them, I've noticed a few personality traits in common.

1. They're all incredibly confident. The 'American' women run the gamut from timid to cocky but the Russian women I've worked projects for are all confident, but not cocky. They know what they're talking about and they know they know and everyone else knows they know

2. They ask lots of questions. And never a stupid one. They are incisive and know when someone's lying to them or BSing them.

3. The combination of the above makes them all incredibly hot

4. If you do them right, they'll go to bat for you. They don't care for the politics of it. They're the kind of business partner you want in your corner. 3 of them I'm tight with because I did good on their projects. They've helped me out a lot. One I accidentally fvcked over and I haven't been allowed to work a project in her business unit since.

Yep, sounds like every Eastern European woman I've ever known.

[Danno 1,228]

regarding the topic ...

1) you will find happiness

2) you will discover h3ll

either way the risk is no different than marrying a local girl

actually better than marrying a local girl - don't have to go spend most holiday events with her family

And with Russians you are often subjected to that lousy pop music they love over there.

(#1 reason I don't have the Russian Channel)

[mox 298]

And with Russians you are often subjected to that lousy pop music they love over there.

(#1 reason I don't have the Russian Channel)

LOL! It's kinda grown on me, actually. I can't listen to it a lot, but I don't mind a little.

And the reason I don't have the Russian channel (at least Comcast's Russian channel) is that it's NOTHING like actual Russian television. It's all movies from the '40's and '50's, Spanish Soap operas that have been dubbed in Russian, and assorted other garbage. None of the sitcoms and variety shows that makes Russian TV so enjoyably kitschy.

[Tahoma 2,298]

Funny, I got the impression the Original Poster is a little "indecisive".

If true, thats a big turn-off for those Russian gals.

Hi Danno...

If you feel that InnocentBystander is indecisive, maybe you could help him with a bit of a confidence boost. It appears that your better half is Russian...so you might be able to provide some insight.

Did you find your sweetie on a singles sight? If so, how was your experience on that site? What should he watch out for? That kind of thing. I'll bet that you have something to add to the conversation.

[Danno 1,228]

Funny, I got the impression the Original Poster is a little "indecisive".

If true, thats a big turn-off for those Russian gals.

hmmm i thought this was the big turn off for them:

What an empty wallet?

I doubt it....."No one" likes it when the party is over.

[mox 298]

Hi Danno...

If you feel that InnocentBystander is indecisive, maybe you could help him with a bit of a confidence boost. It appears that your better half is Russian...so you might be able to provide some insight.

Did you find your sweetie on a singles sight? If so, how was your experience on that site? What should he watch out for? That kind of thing. I'll bet that you have something to add to the conversation.

The original poster has been invited to post in the RU forum, where he can not only get the benefit of Danno's experience, but mine and others as well.

[jeffscharpf 0]

Hello all. I didn't really know where to post this question, but this forum seems very friendly and insightful. My question is to those men (or women) from the USA who have married a foreign bride. FWIW, I do not assume there are more or less risks involved in marrying a foreigner than there is in marrying an American. I'm a little naive on the subject and I'd like to learn more.

I read divorce rates for K1 and K3 visa marriages are roughly 20%, which is great compared to the 50+% rates for American marriages. Do the rates vary much based on region? For instance, is the divorce rate higher for those marriages where the bride comes from Southeast Asia or the Caribbean, than say a bride from Russia or Norway? I have met some very sweet foreign girls, but I will be honest... my American buddies always tell me to watch out. They say they only want a visa.

I am not the sort of person who discriminates. I don't assume somebody from another nation has lesser values than I do, just because I am from the USA. To that extent, I will confess that I believe most normal men and women want something tangible in a partner. Whether it be money, security, love, his/her smile, his/her sense of humor. I think this is somewhat true at least.

There was this one cute Russian girl working at the beach and she called me after I gave her my number. She had to return home after the summer, but she was very sweet. All my friends told me she's Russian and that automatically means she loves you first and foremost because you can give her a green card and a better standard of living. Truth be told, I can't blame Russian girls if that is true. I mean, who wouldn't want a better standard of living? I think that's normal.

Perhaps some of you can shed more light on this subject. I ask this question, because it's a little scary nowadays to marry an American girl. The odds are against you. The statistics reveal over half the marriages end within a few years. So, by marrying an American girl, chances are I will be divorced and have to give up half of what I earned during that time we were married (regardless of whether she helped contribute to that). Even couples that have the best of intentions going in often end up in divorce. It's a little crazy if you ask me. So, I'm interested in the possibility of finding a girl in Russia or maybe some other country. Why is there such a stigma and no such stigma for American-American marriages?

You really need to find out who you are and what you want. Everything comes with a risk.

So what if you marry and divorce? So what if she comes and gets a green card and things don't work out? Who cares? Would it be the end of the world if she stayed here and moved on with her life? She is the one taking a risk, because if things don't work out after two years, she may be the one with a problem. She has to change her life.

After a divorce from someone that I thought I would be with forever, I had to take a look inside of myself. People change. That was many years ago. Personally I would never go back to an American woman now. Sorry but it's a different world for me.

I'm with a woman that I met online (believe me neither of us had any intentions or motives and I wasn't looking for a "foreign girl"). She is from Romania, and we've been together now for almost nine years. Her son came with her and I adore him (he's now 10). It just gets better and better. I'm more in love with her today than I ever was with my first wife, who I was with for 10 years and thought at the time was the one and only (don't we all? )..

When I first started the K1 process most of my friends thought I was crazy, same as you. But my logic was, well, ok let's say she's ONLY marrying me to get her green card.. she comes, we marry, she eventually gets her card, she divorces me.. so during that time, sex is great, I'm having fun, what do I lose? She left her country!!

If we don't get along, and we're both miserable, then we SHOULD divorce, and heck, she SHOULD have every opportunity to stay in this country if she wants to.

She risked many things to come here. what if I'm a psycho?? think of how scary that is for someone to come here not knowing. so... that's the way I looked at it. If it would not have worked out I would have said well hopefully this person can find what she needs here.

For some reason she stays with me ...she hates the winters in Wisconsin, she doesn't agree with our policies.. .. she's no fool. We fight about politics all the time. But she has found peace with me and I with her. Tough to explain that but we can read each others minds. This is really what love is to me.

I will say that she is much different than any American woman I've known. She's not traditional, or weak.. She doesn't believe in most of our psychology, in many of our methods. She is extremely intelligent. Very resourceful. Being under communism, she has been a "bad" girl.. almost being arrested for speaking out at times. In my opinion, had she been older at the time of the Romanian revolution (she was 12), she would have been one of the marchers (although she's opposed to guns and violence so it's hard to explain my rifle in my closet lol)...

Most importantly, she has opened my mind. We Americans are pretty close minded, face it. We really think the world is ours and this is the place to be. I could go on forever..

Sorry for the long response. If you have something for this woman, I say go for it. Life is short.

Jeff