Habibi Has Arrived!

[S and S 12]

I think it is easier to quit in the US, then in MENA. MENA smokes are cheaper and it is all around you. In the US, expensive and becoming if not already is a NO-NO!

Absolutely, i agree! To his credit, he is smoking a lot less than when he was working in the souk in Rabat! And at least now, in NYC, you are not allowed to smoke anywhere anymore... he's definitely aware of the difference.

S and S, where do you live that smokes are only $3 a pack?!!

I live in the Nashville area.

My parent's live in Nashville they say it's nice, but I've never been there.

I just moved to this area last October. I went out and saw a few things, but I keep telling myself I want to wait for my husband so we can experience it for the first time together. It never occured to me it would take so long for him to get here. I did find some good arabic stores and restaurants which is great. I went to the Opry Mills Mall and another mall (the name escapes me, lol). Really, I think it is nice so far. I just haven't had the mood to get out without my husband here

[AlHayatZween 2]

I just moved to this area last October. I went out and saw a few things, but I keep telling myself I want to wait for my husband so we can experience it for the first time together. It never occured to me it would take so long for him to get here. I did find some good arabic stores and restaurants which is great. I went to the Opry Mills Mall and another mall (the name escapes me, lol). Really, I think it is nice so far. I just haven't had the mood to get out without my husband here

can totally understand that... but feel better!

and the better you know the city, the better you can direct your husband where to go for mosque, jobs, treats he likes to eat, etc... when he gets here!

[polarbear 0]

I just moved to this area last October. I went out and saw a few things, but I keep telling myself I want to wait for my husband so we can experience it for the first time together. It never occured to me it would take so long for him to get here. I did find some good arabic stores and restaurants which is great. I went to the Opry Mills Mall and another mall (the name escapes me, lol). Really, I think it is nice so far. I just haven't had the mood to get out without my husband here

I completely understand, I moved to Miami right before starting the process to get my husband here and it was probably the hardest time of my life (more than moving to france by myself).

It's good you've gotten out a little bit and found things like the arabic stores to help make the transition a little easier. It might help with the loneliness a little if you can find some areas of the city to enjoy and take your mind off things for awhile. You can go back and rediscover them with your husband and share your finds when he gets here It will be an entirely new experience and like rediscovering it all over again

[babybunny 2]

Salaam everyone,

Hope this post finds you well. i just wanted to share the good news and ask for a little insight...

Habibi arrived 4 days ago via JFK... Alhamdulilah. He passed through immigration and customs no problem, got the work stamp, and everyone was really very nice to him. I am so thankful for that...

We are getting settled and i'm so happy he's here... but it's really hard. We are bickering all the time (mostly about $$ and his smoking, which is about his health and more $$), and i find myself asking if we will really be able to do this? It's not him... he's my Habeeb (except for the excessive smoking habit that somehow increased over the past year ) (i don't mind a few here and there), it's me... i'm the one taking issue with everything, and i'm starting to doubt that i'm even cut out for marriage. It's only been 4 days... is this normal for 4 days? i thought we'd at least have "honeymoon period".

i'm quite upset and find myself sad a lot of the time... and that can't make anything easier for him... he traveled a million miles just to be with me.

hz

I think you will be fine. you both have to learn each other and understand each other compleately. it takes alot of time maybe a year or two. right now you both never lived with each other and you have to learn each others temperment and also what is acceptable to you. You both are a team bottom line. when things bother you mainly his smoking make it tolorable by asking him to smoke outside. he wont quit smoking until he is ready. when he does offer the support.

as far as money he will worry about money until he gets a job. you know its his culture to take care of you and not you take care of him. he will tell you NO to things because, he feels it is not right to him right now. Just understand him and allow him to undertstand you.

take the edge off things by doing things you both enjoy. last piece of advice stop bickering..

if its not for the support of the TEAM then drop it .. pick your battles right.

[S and S 12]

Salaam everyone,

Hope this post finds you well. i just wanted to share the good news and ask for a little insight...

Habibi arrived 4 days ago via JFK... Alhamdulilah. He passed through immigration and customs no problem, got the work stamp, and everyone was really very nice to him. I am so thankful for that...

We are getting settled and i'm so happy he's here... but it's really hard. We are bickering all the time (mostly about $$ and his smoking, which is about his health and more $$), and i find myself asking if we will really be able to do this? It's not him... he's my Habeeb (except for the excessive smoking habit that somehow increased over the past year ) (i don't mind a few here and there), it's me... i'm the one taking issue with everything, and i'm starting to doubt that i'm even cut out for marriage. It's only been 4 days... is this normal for 4 days? i thought we'd at least have "honeymoon period".

i'm quite upset and find myself sad a lot of the time... and that can't make anything easier for him... he traveled a million miles just to be with me.

hz

I think you will be fine. you both have to learn each other and understand each other compleately. it takes alot of time maybe a year or two. right now you both never lived with each other and you have to learn each others temperment and also what is acceptable to you. You both are a team bottom line. when things bother you mainly his smoking make it tolorable by asking him to smoke outside. he wont quit smoking until he is ready. when he does offer the support.

as far as money he will worry about money until he gets a job. you know its his culture to take care of you and not you take care of him. he will tell you NO to things because, he feels it is not right to him right now. Just understand him and allow him to undertstand you.

take the edge off things by doing things you both enjoy. last piece of advice stop bickering..

if its not for the support of the TEAM then drop it .. pick your battles right.

Thats great advice any of us could use

[AlHayatZween 2]

It is, thanks!

We are settling in...

it's mostly being exhausted and him being very hopeless about finding work... We are doing Craig's List, Monster, the local newspapers, and he is going around door to door asking himself. So far no luck! i keep telling him it has only been less than 2 weeks, and he knows that... but still he's really upset. i hope he finds something soon so we both can relax...

Thanks, everybody!

[polarbear 0]

It is, thanks!

We are settling in...

it's mostly being exhausted and him being very hopeless about finding work... We are doing Craig's List, Monster, the local newspapers, and he is going around door to door asking himself. So far no luck! i keep telling him it has only been less than 2 weeks, and he knows that... but still he's really upset. i hope he finds something soon so we both can relax...

Thanks, everybody!

My husband pulled that too... seemed to think he should have a job within two weeks and was really depressed he didn't find one Don't worry, things will get better when he finds a job.

It took 4 weeks for us and my husband was really upset by it all, and to make matters worse he was working a sh!tty job for very little pay. He took it though to get better with his english bc he realized he would never get the better job without being able to comunicate

It will work out soon, you two just need to have a litte more patience

[morocco4ever 63]

Salaam everyone,

Hope this post finds you well. i just wanted to share the good news and ask for a little insight...

Habibi arrived 4 days ago via JFK... Alhamdulilah. He passed through immigration and customs no problem, got the work stamp, and everyone was really very nice to him. I am so thankful for that...

We are getting settled and i'm so happy he's here... but it's really hard. We are bickering all the time (mostly about $$ and his smoking, which is about his health and more $$), and i find myself asking if we will really be able to do this? It's not him... he's my Habeeb (except for the excessive smoking habit that somehow increased over the past year ) (i don't mind a few here and there), it's me... i'm the one taking issue with everything, and i'm starting to doubt that i'm even cut out for marriage. It's only been 4 days... is this normal for 4 days? i thought we'd at least have "honeymoon period".

i'm quite upset and find myself sad a lot of the time... and that can't make anything easier for him... he traveled a million miles just to be with me.

hz

I think you will be fine. you both have to learn each other and understand each other compleately. it takes alot of time maybe a year or two. right now you both never lived with each other and you have to learn each others temperment and also what is acceptable to you. You both are a team bottom line. when things bother you mainly his smoking make it tolorable by asking him to smoke outside. he wont quit smoking until he is ready. when he does offer the support.

as far as money he will worry about money until he gets a job. you know its his culture to take care of you and not you take care of him. he will tell you NO to things because, he feels it is not right to him right now. Just understand him and allow him to undertstand you.

take the edge off things by doing things you both enjoy. last piece of advice stop bickering..

if its not for the support of the TEAM then drop it .. pick your battles right.

Hey baby bunny, its been a long time. How is your process going?

This is some great advice. I can tell you, we fight this process for so long that we are totally burned out and unprepared when they get here. I am confident that he will settle in and things will get much better.

[AlHayatZween 2]

It will work out soon, you two just need to have a litte more patience

That's the truth! Isn't that what you guys (gals) said: Patience, patience, and more patience...

He's out today looking... i'm trying to be his positive cheerleader... though he's been down in the dumps the past day or so...

[morocco4ever 63]

It will work out soon, you two just need to have a litte more patience

That's the truth! Isn't that what you guys (gals) said: Patience, patience, and more patience...

He's out today looking... i'm trying to be his positive cheerleader... though he's been down in the dumps the past day or so...

Awww bless him. I hope he gets some good news soon.

[Nutty 2]

Two weeks!!! Talk about high expectations! It is going on 1 1/2 months for my hubby and no work. We set the two month mark for him to just start looking. Nothing before then. So at this point we are just working on his resume (which is a mega task). Even then, I tell hubby, "don't expect to get a job for the first couple of months."

Tell you hubby to cut himself some slack on the job search. The fact he's trying as hard as he is, is a good sign. But it takes time, even for us born and bred Americans. So don't get too frustrated

It is, thanks!

We are settling in...

it's mostly being exhausted and him being very hopeless about finding work... We are doing Craig's List, Monster, the local newspapers, and he is going around door to door asking himself. So far no luck! i keep telling him it has only been less than 2 weeks, and he knows that... but still he's really upset. i hope he finds something soon so we both can relax...

Thanks, everybody!

[baxxy 0]

So at this point we are just working on his resume (which is a mega task).

Shouldn't the two of you have been working on his resume WAY before he landed here? Don't you think it should have been finished and out there before he even arrived?

Edited July 31, 2008 by baxxy

[*JG* 2]

So at this point we are just working on his resume (which is a mega task).

Shouldn't the two of you have been working on his resume WAY before he landed here? Don't you think it should have been finished and out there before he even arrived?

Like there isn't anything else to do before he arrives. Cut some slack here.

Two weeks!!! Talk about high expectations! It is going on 1 1/2 months for my hubby and no work. We set the two month mark for him to just start looking. Nothing before then. So at this point we are just working on his resume (which is a mega task). Even then, I tell hubby, "don't expect to get a job for the first couple of months."

Tell you hubby to cut himself some slack on the job search. The fact he's trying as hard as he is, is a good sign. But it takes time, even for us born and bred Americans. So don't get too frustrated

It is, thanks!

We are settling in...

it's mostly being exhausted and him being very hopeless about finding work... We are doing Craig's List, Monster, the local newspapers, and he is going around door to door asking himself. So far no luck! i keep telling him it has only been less than 2 weeks, and he knows that... but still he's really upset. i hope he finds something soon so we both can relax...

Thanks, everybody!

We were K-1. It took us 5 months just to be approved to work. Then, another 2 to find the job. We survived.

Hang in there. You can do this.

[baxxy 0]

So at this point we are just working on his resume (which is a mega task).

Shouldn't the two of you have been working on his resume WAY before he landed here? Don't you think it should have been finished and out there before he even arrived?

Like there isn't anything else to do before he arrives. Cut some slack here.

I know theres lots of other stuff to do but I would have imagined this would be up there at least on the top 10 list of things to do before he got here. Obviously its become a problem on here for quite a few women.

[*JG* 2]

So at this point we are just working on his resume (which is a mega task).

Shouldn't the two of you have been working on his resume WAY before he landed here? Don't you think it should have been finished and out there before he even arrived?

Like there isn't anything else to do before he arrives. Cut some slack here.

I know theres lots of other stuff to do but I would have imagined this would be up there at least on the top 10 list of things to do before he got here. Obviously its become a problem on here for quite a few women.

You can't really send out resumes until he is here to take some calls and interview.