MENA married to Americans...

[Rocketta 0]

So as you see this is a discussion about everyday life. If you can't control yourself or stay on topic please start your own threads. Thanks

Some issues

• Friends of the Opposite Sex
• Foods
• Household duties

[Rocketta 0]

My two closests friends in the last few years are two gay males so I realized it was a touchy topic that I needed to bring up early. I pointed out that I love these two guys and they have been nothing but supportive to me and they come with the package and they are always welcome in my home. If that is not acceptable to him then I'm not the one for him. I meant it/mean it.

[sereia 0]

husband does not like me to have male friends. the topic of many fights between us. i made it very clear i wasn't going to give up my friends (gay or not) either. still caused lots of fights. and will probably with you too...

husband also does not like gay people. another annoying trait he has especially since i do have some gay friends.

husband does do household duties but usually only if i nag him.

husband likes all kinds of food but does like a lot of MENA food to be mixed in there. (which is okay by me as they are my favorite cuisines anyway)

husband does like pets. cats, dogs, ducks, whatever!

husband does not demand halal meats/etc

husband does not eat pork but does not stop me from doing it (although I know he'd prefer I don't)

husband hogs the remote (not MENA related. LOL!)

Edited April 20, 2008 by sereia

[sarahaziz 0]

Ohh, you're really gonna have to make him understand that thing with having Homosexual Friends. Not only are they male (which he won't accept his woman having) they also have an alternative sexual preference which is hated by MENA men/women.

[aisha kandisha 0]

How about expectations on support/assistance for the family back home?

Ohh, you're really gonna have to make him understand that thing with having Homosexual Friends. Not only are they male (which he won't accept his woman having) they also have an alternative sexual preference which is hated by MENA men/women.

Not by all, and there are plenty of people with alternative sexual preferences in the Middle East/North Africa.

[sereia 0]

Just like the whole world, they have gays and lesbians. I personally met a few in my travels through MENA. But I think the generally popular opinion is that they are disliked.

Anyway, When I think of gay MENA i think of this awesome video of a gay belly dancer in Casa:

P.S. regarding expectations of sending money? My husband does not expect to send money until we are totally settled here. Then, and only then, would we talk about how much we would send. I do know of a lot of couples who fight over this and the husband's insist on sending money right away even when they can't really afford it. That would be pretty disappointing for me!

Edited April 20, 2008 by sereia

[aisha kandisha 0]

Just like the whole world, they have gays and lesbians. I personally met a few in my travels through MENA. But I think the generally popular opinion is that they are disliked. I wish my husband wasn't one of them.

And if you look at the (lack of) support for gay marriage in this country, I think the same is true for most parts of this country.

[sereia 0]

exactly!

[aisha kandisha 0]

Something I have seen arise between bi-religious couples is a problem with icons/symbols. Men who can accept their wives being Christian are not necessarily cool with a nativity, Christmas tree (even though it isn't religious), crucifixes, etc.

I think alcohol can be another issue, not only the wife occasional imbibing, but what about "white wine Dijon" in the fridge or "red wine vinegar", using alcohol-based extracts in cooking.

Edited April 20, 2008 by aisha kandisha

[sarahaziz 0]

How about expectations on support/assistance for the family back home?

Ohh, you're really gonna have to make him understand that thing with having Homosexual Friends. Not only are they male (which he won't accept his woman having) they also have an alternative sexual preference which is hated by MENA men/women.

Not by all, and there are plenty of people with alternative sexual preferences in the Middle East/North Africa.

You are right there are quite a few H.Sexuals but they aren't welcomed or out in the Open. In usa you can marry and hold hands. You get murdered or beat if you do that there.

I don't like the thought of support or assistance. My spouse said they don't need anything since they get money from France and that's almost double USD. I hope it stays that way!

We fought big time over that money issue whewwww!

[Rocketta 0]

I think because my husband had to sacrifice most of his life to help support his family he is of the opinion it's his time now. We've had this discussion. so we will see. I'm not opposed to him helping his family with some of his money but if it requires some of my money then it will be a problem.

[morocco4ever 63]

So as you see this is a discussion about everyday life. If you can't control yourself or stay on topic please start your own threads. Thanks

Some issues

• Friends of the Opposite Sex
• Foods
• Household duties

While I have acquantances, no male friends per se. But there are issues involving the opposite sex. He freaked at the idea of me cutting mens hair. I can now for say my sons in law, and no issues. At first he forbid that I go to a male nail artist. He no longer has issues with that now that he knows the best one here is male, and he is married and his wife works there.

Foods. Probably our hardest issue. One minute he likes something I cook the next he hates it. I want him mom here....lol.

Household duties. I do the inside he does the outside. Sometimes it crosses out of need. We are both okay with it.

All of these things were discussed in advance. Some can be worked out and some it is a wait and see issue. All in all however we are working on it together. He may have been spoiled by his mom and sisters but he has a good head and can see that life here isn't the same.

I think because my husband had to sacrifice most of his life to help support his family he is of the opinion it's his time now. We've had this discussion. so we will see. I'm not opposed to him helping his family with some of his money but if it requires some of my money then it will be a problem.

What is your situation? Did you have to sacrifice too? I know I had a much harder life than my husband in the aspect of being a single mother. Its not easy!

[Rocketta 0]

What is your situation? Did you have to sacrifice too? I know I had a much harder life than my husband in the aspect of being a single mother. Its not easy!

I've grown up poor most of my life. My dad was a raging alcoholic and my mom finally left him when I was 8. His life was definitely much harder than mine. I mean despite being a child of an alcoholic I was able to go on to get an advance degree. I have a career. However, it also makes me less likely to put up with certain stuff. I pray for my husband's sake he never uses the word 'forbids' in a discussion with me. It would not go over well with me.

However, I'm the baby in my family and can be quite spoiled. So i will expect his needs to nurture and take care of his family to be heaped on me.

[sandinista! 1,816]

How about expectations on support/assistance for the family back home?

Ohh, you're really gonna have to make him understand that thing with having Homosexual Friends. Not only are they male (which he won't accept his woman having) they also have an alternative sexual preference which is hated by MENA men/women.

Not by all, and there are plenty of people with alternative sexual preferences in the Middle East/North Africa.

You are right there are quite a few H.Sexuals but they aren't welcomed or out in the Open. In usa you can marry and hold hands. You get murdered or beat if you do that there.

I don't like the thought of support or assistance. My spouse said they don't need anything since they get money from France and that's almost double USD. I hope it stays that way!

We fought big time over that money issue whewwww!

massachusetts has marriage, but they are not recognized by the federal govt. other states have civil unions, etc., but it's a far, far stretch to say "In usa you can marry". and there's a whole lot of homosexuals murdered and beat here at home. i think it's trivializing to paint the picture that it's totally hunky-dory to be homosexual in the us. too much pain and suffering happens every day to be written off like that.

[S and S 12]

I have my husband convinced that I married him entirely so I can have someone to take out the trash. When I was with him in the middle east I would remind him all the time to take out the trash, lol. I tried to tell him that I also married him to do other outside chores, but he is convinced that the true reason is so I don't have to take out the trash.