The Retirement Match

[Ban Hammer 12,830]

Nature boy...

there's no Greensville NC, there's a Greenville.. but not the first..

woooooow!!

that's cause ric flair already killed it.

[pedroh 21]

Nature boy...

there's no Greensville NC, there's a Greenville.. but not the first..

woooooow!!

that's cause ric flair already killed it.

PWNED

[~Jackie~ 30]

Ok...I'm driving to measure a house the other day and in front of me is the coolest license plate...

I KNOW I am on VJ too much when things like this remind me of Off Topic

[Ric Flair 0]

JR: We are live in Greensville North Carolina tonight for Wrestlemania XXIV! Tonight's main event features The Nature Boy Ric Flair vs erica in a retirement match! This crowd is going nuts! The anticipation for this match has been building for months!

King: I can't wait JR! Somebody is permanently leaving VJ for good!

JR: That's right King, Ric Flair is putting up his illustrious 35 year career against a relative unknown erica. In fact, many have argued that all of the little popularity that erica has enjoyed has been due to the legendary beatings at the hands of the Nature Boy.

King: Yeah! erica has been chopped so many times by Flair that his posts don't even make sense anymore!

JR: That's not all that's not making sense either. In a recent interview, erica had some harsh words for Commissioner Ewok. I can't repeat the exact phrase on the air, but I can say it rhymed with wussy.

King: And he's not made too many friends backstage either!

JR: And who could blame them King. The nasty words and insults are the only thing that seem to come out of his mouth these days. He is putting himself above the sport and as you well know that doesn't sit well with Ric Flair. More than anyone in the history of this sport, Ric Flair has epitomized professionalism and doing the right thing. This is something he takes very personally and always has. That's the only reason he'd ever risk his career.

King: I still can't believe it JR! Ric Flair could be retired tonight!

JR: After 35 years of wheelin, dealin, limo ridin and jet flyin........it's hard to believe it could all end tonight. But now the talking is over and it's time to go to school. Our main event is next at Wrestlemania XXIV!

*The lights go out and the crowd gets restless*

King: What's going on JR?

JR: I don't know King, but the challenger always

*before he could finish the lights come back on and reveal erica sitting in one of the corners of the ring, staring down the ramp......intent and focused and slightly deranged*

JR: I guess erica has made his way to the ring. No entrance music or anything. He just appeared!

King: Yeah! He appears angry too JR!

*Just as the King stopped, the sweetest and most recognizable song in the history of sport came over the loudspeaker and the building erupted as Ric Flair emerged. His gown was laced with diamonds from head to toe because diamonds are forever......and so is Ric Flair. He outstretched his arms and gave the crowd a look as he slowly spun around like the true icon and ambassador to professional wrestling he is.*

JR: It's the Nature Boy Ric Flair! Could this be the last time we see the man, the legend walk that aisle? If it is, this crowd is enjoying every minute of it. I've never heard an ovation like this before!

*Ric unfastens the robe to reveal the World Heavyweight title belt. It is a belt he has worn on 16 different occassions throught 35 years in the business. Nobody is more closely related to the WWE championship belt than Ric Flair. erica's eyes never leave the champ as he watches Flair approach the ring. Flair walks slowly and confidently before stopping to confront a heckler*

King: What's going on?

JR: It looks like Flair is having some words with a fan at ringside.

King: That's no fan.....that's the former wrestler and hall of famer Mr Big Dog!

JR: You're right King!

King: He's not looking to good either. Wow, he's really put on weight an let himself go!

JR: Ric Flair and Mr Big Dog had legendary wars in the ring. I wonder what he has to say now?

Mr Big Dog: Not this again! Flair, you're an idiot and you're old. Just go home!

*Flair stops and turns to his former foe, pointing his finger right in his face.*

Flair: Wooooooo! You shut your mouth Reintard, and have some respect for the champ! This is the biggest night in the history of wrestling and you'd do best to shut up.

Mr Big Dog: Whatever Flair. If you survive this, I'll put you in retirement.

*Flair walks over to Reintard and slaps him across the face. Reintard immediately has tears well up in his eyes and he does what he should have done to begin with.....sits down, gets protected by his wife and keeps his mouth shut while Ric Flair goes to work*

King: Looks like Mr Big Dog just got some obedience training! That will teach him to take a dump on Ric Flair's lawn!

*Flair climbs the stairs and gets into the ring. erica rises and meets him in the middle of the ring*

JR: The crowd is chanting something, but I can't quite make it out.

King: I can, JR - they chanting Britney, Britney, Britney!

*It was true. The crowd was chanting Britney, and directing right at erica. You see, erica's state of mind had become so bad and the posts so disgusting that it reminded the crowd of the Britney Spears fiasco. His? life had become a trainwreck and had not gone unnoticed.*

JR: You can feel the tension between these two competitors. Who will make the first move?

*Flair extends his hand, offering erica(Britney) a handshake. erica(Britney) is not that smart so he offers his in return. Flair pulls his hand back to fix his hair, lets out a Woooooooo! and then bounces off the rope three times. As he finishes, he pokes erica(Britney) in the eye. Despite this being the fifth match between the two, erica(Britney) falls for it.*

JR: The fight's on King!

*erica(Britney) doubles over in pain from the eye poke and Ric Flair sets him up in the corner and delivers 10 thunderous chops. The crowd yells out Woooooo! after each one. erica(Britney) is stunned from the punishment and in a daze walks to the center of the ring and starts singing.*

erica(Britney):

On first day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

A trip to the learning tree!

On the second day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

2 eye pokes

On the third day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

3 elbow drops

On the fourth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

4 Figure 4's

On the fifth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

5 title matches

On the sixth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

6 atomic drops

On the seventh day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

7 Flairs a begging

On the eigth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

8 Weeks of banning

On the nineth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

9 Backs a breaking

On the tenth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

10 Ric Flair WOOOOOOOs!

10 Ric Flair WOOOOOOs

9 Backs a breaking

8 Weeks of banning

7 Flairs a begging

6 Atomic Drops

5 TITLE MATCHES

4 Figure 4's

3 Elbow Drops

2 Eyes Poked

AND A TRIP TO THE LEARNING TREEEEEEEEEEE!

King: That's the first time I've understood anything he's said JR!

*Upon completing the 10 Days of Chopmas, erica(Britney) collapses on the mat and starts twitching.....randomly saying things like fuke, g@y, g@y, g@y! c#ck....big have......what?......hate!*

JR: Looks like it's back to jibberish King. I thought it might come to this and we were prepared. Let's bring out our third broadcaster. She is a world reknown psychologist and translator of the challenged. Please welcome to the announcing booth. Stacey!

*Stacey emerges from the back. She is the only one in the history of the WWE with the professional experience and know-how to translate anything erica(Britney) has ever said.*

JR: Stacey, welcome to Wrestlemania XXIV. Can you please help us understand what erica(Britney) is saying?

Stacey: Thanks for the invite JR. Certainly I'll try.

King: Stacey! What I want to know is why he talks about his member so much?

Stacey: That's a good question King, and it has a two part answer. First, when erica(Britney) talks about how large his? p#nis is, what he? is actually saying is "look at me......I feel unwanted in this highly technological and educated world." "I don't have linguistic skills or the ability to type, therefore I feel impotent in this society and the only way I know how to gain respect is to talk about my p#nis in an attempt to reaffirm and really reestablish my lost sense masculenity." "It's my last hope for women to like me."

JR: Wow, that's really enlightening! What's the second part of the answer?

Stacey: Well, the second reason he always talks about his p#nis is fairly obvious. Look at that specimen named Ric Flair in the ring. Everything about him is sexy. It's no wonder the lines at Space Mountain are so long and everyone that takes a ride leaves happy. erica(Britney) wants that for himself. He wants to be wanted and respected like Ric Flair and who could blame him? Flair doesn't need to talk about how is is endowed. His nick-name is the Nature Boy. He represents the call of the wild and heat of passion.

King: Wow.....I think I'm getting turned on JR!

*erica(Britney) is still blabbering to himself - face down in the middle of the ring. Flair takes the opportunity to deliver a patented Flair knee drop. The execution is flawless as Flair delivers, rolls off and does the Flair strut. erica(Britney) cries out in pain and does a military crawl towards the bottom rope.....snot running down his nose.*

JR: Stacey, you're the psychological expert. What do you think erica(Britney) is thinking now?

Stacey: Well, that's the problem JR. erica(Britney) doesn't really think he just acts and reacts. While this is behavior typically seen in children under 4 years old, it can occassionally be observed in adults as well, but is far, far more sad. Much like a child, the afflicted adult will act out in tantrums and use foul language to get attention. Most children learn it does not work, but some do not and continue this behavior throughout their lives.

*Flair picks erica(Britney) up by the hair and stands him up straight. As erica(Britney) regains his? balance, Ric Flair bounces off the ropes and shoulder tackles erica(Britney)'s left knee*

JR: Now this is old school wrestling King, IV Horsemen style! They pick a body part and wear it down until the final hold. Flair is starting on the knee in preparation for the figure 4 leglock, the most well known submission hold in the history of wrestling.

King: If he gets that on erica(Britney) is will be over! He? will be retired from the WWE!

JR: I've just been handed a note delivered from the World of Warcraft. It says that there is no Greensville North Carolina, that is called Greenville, North Carolina and that JR has just been PWNED. It goes on......there's something about a zorz and a bbq and a reference to Chuck Norris. It's signed Pedrwoo

Stacey: Do you want me to translate that JR?

JR: Uh, no thanks. If I mispronounced Greenville, then my sincerest apologies to the fans of North Carolina. This place has seen it's share of legendary Flair moments.

*Flair continues to work on erica(Britney)'s leg. Unmercifully dropping elbows upon his downed opponent in classic Flair style. All looks lost for erica(Britney)*

[Ric Flair 0]

JR: We are live in Greensville North Carolina tonight for Wrestlemania XXIV! Tonight's main event features The Nature Boy Ric Flair vs erica in a retirement match! This crowd is going nuts! The anticipation for this match has been building for months!

King: I can't wait JR! Somebody is permanently leaving VJ for good!

JR: That's right King, Ric Flair is putting up his illustrious 35 year career against a relative unknown erica. In fact, many have argued that all of the little popularity that erica has enjoyed has been due to the legendary beatings at the hands of the Nature Boy.

King: Yeah! erica has been chopped so many times by Flair that his posts don't even make sense anymore!

JR: That's not all that's not making sense either. In a recent interview, erica had some harsh words for Commissioner Ewok. I can't repeat the exact phrase on the air, but I can say it rhymed with wussy.

King: And he's not made too many friends backstage either!

JR: And who could blame them King. The nasty words and insults are the only thing that seem to come out of his mouth these days. He is putting himself above the sport and as you well know that doesn't sit well with Ric Flair. More than anyone in the history of this sport, Ric Flair has epitomized professionalism and doing the right thing. This is something he takes very personally and always has. That's the only reason he'd ever risk his career.

King: I still can't believe it JR! Ric Flair could be retired tonight!

JR: After 35 years of wheelin, dealin, limo ridin and jet flyin........it's hard to believe it could all end tonight. But now the talking is over and it's time to go to school. Our main event is next at Wrestlemania XXIV!

*The lights go out and the crowd gets restless*

King: What's going on JR?

JR: I don't know King, but the challenger always

*before he could finish the lights come back on and reveal erica sitting in one of the corners of the ring, staring down the ramp......intent and focused and slightly deranged*

JR: I guess erica has made his way to the ring. No entrance music or anything. He just appeared!

King: Yeah! He appears angry too JR!

*Just as the King stopped, the sweetest and most recognizable song in the history of sport came over the loudspeaker and the building erupted as Ric Flair emerged. His gown was laced with diamonds from head to toe because diamonds are forever......and so is Ric Flair. He outstretched his arms and gave the crowd a look as he slowly spun around like the true icon and ambassador to professional wrestling he is.*

JR: It's the Nature Boy Ric Flair! Could this be the last time we see the man, the legend walk that aisle? If it is, this crowd is enjoying every minute of it. I've never heard an ovation like this before!

*Ric unfastens the robe to reveal the World Heavyweight title belt. It is a belt he has worn on 16 different occassions throught 35 years in the business. Nobody is more closely related to the WWE championship belt than Ric Flair. erica's eyes never leave the champ as he watches Flair approach the ring. Flair walks slowly and confidently before stopping to confront a heckler*

King: What's going on?

JR: It looks like Flair is having some words with a fan at ringside.

King: That's no fan.....that's the former wrestler and hall of famer Mr Big Dog!

JR: You're right King!

King: He's not looking to good either. Wow, he's really put on weight an let himself go!

JR: Ric Flair and Mr Big Dog had legendary wars in the ring. I wonder what he has to say now?

Mr Big Dog: Not this again! Flair, you're an idiot and you're old. Just go home!

*Flair stops and turns to his former foe, pointing his finger right in his face.*

Flair: Wooooooo! You shut your mouth Reintard, and have some respect for the champ! This is the biggest night in the history of wrestling and you'd do best to shut up.

Mr Big Dog: Whatever Flair. If you survive this, I'll put you in retirement.

*Flair walks over to Reintard and slaps him across the face. Reintard immediately has tears well up in his eyes and he does what he should have done to begin with.....sits down, gets protected by his wife and keeps his mouth shut while Ric Flair goes to work*

King: Looks like Mr Big Dog just got some obedience training! That will teach him to take a dump on Ric Flair's lawn!

*Flair climbs the stairs and gets into the ring. erica rises and meets him in the middle of the ring*

JR: The crowd is chanting something, but I can't quite make it out.

King: I can, JR - they chanting Britney, Britney, Britney!

*It was true. The crowd was chanting Britney, and directing right at erica. You see, erica's state of mind had become so bad and the posts so disgusting that it reminded the crowd of the Britney Spears fiasco. His? life had become a trainwreck and had not gone unnoticed.*

JR: You can feel the tension between these two competitors. Who will make the first move?

*Flair extends his hand, offering erica(Britney) a handshake. erica(Britney) is not that smart so he offers his in return. Flair pulls his hand back to fix his hair, lets out a Woooooooo! and then bounces off the rope three times. As he finishes, he pokes erica(Britney) in the eye. Despite this being the fifth match between the two, erica(Britney) falls for it.*

JR: The fight's on King!

*erica(Britney) doubles over in pain from the eye poke and Ric Flair sets him up in the corner and delivers 10 thunderous chops. The crowd yells out Woooooo! after each one. erica(Britney) is stunned from the punishment and in a daze walks to the center of the ring and starts singing.*

erica(Britney):

On first day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

A trip to the learning tree!

On the second day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

2 eye pokes

On the third day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

3 elbow drops

On the fourth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

4 Figure 4's

On the fifth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

5 title matches

On the sixth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

6 atomic drops

On the seventh day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

7 Flairs a begging

On the eigth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

8 Weeks of banning

On the nineth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

9 Backs a breaking

On the tenth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

10 Ric Flair WOOOOOOOs!

10 Ric Flair WOOOOOOs

9 Backs a breaking

8 Weeks of banning

7 Flairs a begging

6 Atomic Drops

5 TITLE MATCHES

4 Figure 4's

3 Elbow Drops

2 Eyes Poked

AND A TRIP TO THE LEARNING TREEEEEEEEEEE!

King: That's the first time I've understood anything he's said JR!

*Upon completing the 10 Days of Chopmas, erica(Britney) collapses on the mat and starts twitching.....randomly saying things like fuke, g@y, g@y, g@y! c#ck....big have......what?......hate!*

JR: Looks like it's back to jibberish King. I thought it might come to this and we were prepared. Let's bring out our third broadcaster. She is a world reknown psychologist and translator of the challenged. Please welcome to the announcing booth. Stacey!

*Stacey emerges from the back. She is the only one in the history of the WWE with the professional experience and know-how to translate anything erica(Britney) has ever said.*

JR: Stacey, welcome to Wrestlemania XXIV. Can you please help us understand what erica(Britney) is saying?

Stacey: Thanks for the invite JR. Certainly I'll try.

King: Stacey! What I want to know is why he talks about his member so much?

Stacey: That's a good question King, and it has a two part answer. First, when erica(Britney) talks about how large his? p#nis is, what he? is actually saying is "look at me......I feel unwanted in this highly technological and educated world." "I don't have linguistic skills or the ability to type, therefore I feel impotent in this society and the only way I know how to gain respect is to talk about my p#nis in an attempt to reaffirm and really reestablish my lost sense masculenity." "It's my last hope for women to like me."

JR: Wow, that's really enlightening! What's the second part of the answer?

Stacey: Well, the second reason he always talks about his p#nis is fairly obvious. Look at that specimen named Ric Flair in the ring. Everything about him is sexy. It's no wonder the lines at Space Mountain are so long and everyone that takes a ride leaves happy. erica(Britney) wants that for himself. He wants to be wanted and respected like Ric Flair and who could blame him? Flair doesn't need to talk about how is is endowed. His nick-name is the Nature Boy. He represents the call of the wild and heat of passion.

King: Wow.....I think I'm getting turned on JR!

*erica(Britney) is still blabbering to himself - face down in the middle of the ring. Flair takes the opportunity to deliver a patented Flair knee drop. The execution is flawless as Flair delivers, rolls off and does the Flair strut. erica(Britney) cries out in pain and does a military crawl towards the bottom rope.....snot running down his nose.*

JR: Stacey, you're the psychological expert. What do you think erica(Britney) is thinking now?

Stacey: Well, that's the problem JR. erica(Britney) doesn't really think he just acts and reacts. While this is behavior typically seen in children under 4 years old, it can occassionally be observed in adults as well, but is far, far more sad. Much like a child, the afflicted adult will act out in tantrums and use foul language to get attention. Most children learn it does not work, but some do not and continue this behavior throughout their lives.

*Flair picks erica(Britney) up by the hair and stands him up straight. As erica(Britney) regains his? balance, Ric Flair bounces off the ropes and shoulder tackles erica(Britney)'s left knee*

JR: Now this is old school wrestling King, IV Horsemen style! They pick a body part and wear it down until the final hold. Flair is starting on the knee in preparation for the figure 4 leglock, the most well known submission hold in the history of wrestling.

King: If he gets that on erica(Britney) is will be over! He? will be retired from the WWE!

JR: I've just been handed a note delivered from the World of Warcraft. It says that there is no Greensville North Carolina, that is called Greenville, North Carolina and that JR has just been PWNED. It goes on......there's something about a zorz and a bbq and a reference to Chuck Norris. It's signed Pedrwoo

Stacey: Do you want me to translate that JR?

JR: Uh, no thanks. If I mispronounced Greenville, then my sincerest apologies to the fans of North Carolina. This place has seen it's share of legendary Flair moments.

*Flair continues to work on erica(Britney)'s leg. Unmercifully dropping elbows upon his downed opponent in classic Flair style. All looks lost for erica(Britney)*

JR: Look who's coming down to the ring. It's Shawn Michaels!

*erica(Britney) grabs the ref by the shirt, distracting him as Shawn Michaels enters the ring, stomps his foot on the ground and just as Flair turns around, Michaels says he is sorry, loves Ric and kicks him with sweet chin music. Flair goes down in a heap and Michaels runs out of the ring and back down the ramp.*

JR: I can't believe this, King.....Shawn Michaels just leveled Flair and the ref didn't see a thing.

*erica(Britney) rushes over to pin Flair. The ref counts.......1...........2..............

JR: No!

*just as the ref's hand was going to hit the mat for the three count, Flair kicked out.*

King: I can't believe it JR. Flair just kicked out! I thought that was it for sure!

JR: He may have kicked out but he's in trouble. That shot from Michaels busted Flair open. There's blood all over the ring.

*erica(Britney) gets up and starts laughing, followed by a very unusal display of jumping in place, kicking his legs backward, clicking heels and clapping.*

erica(Britney): <some intelligible noise that sounds like Sloth from Goonies> Ric....G@y, G@y, G@y lol. No......marbles........c#ck!

JR: Stacey, I think we need your help again.

Stacey: Yes of course. You see what erica(Britney) is saying is that his? masculenity has been so damaged by these beating from Flair that he? has a legitimate concern that he? may in fact now be g@y. It's hard to argue with erica(Britney) either. Think about it JR......I mean, is there anything more g@y then calling someone g@y? As for the marbles and c#ck comment, what he is trying to communicate is a metaphysical desire to have more marbles and be less of a c#ck. This is a real breakthrough.

King: The more time that goes on and the agrier he? gets, the less I understand. He?'s like the Incredible Hulk but without the muscles.

*erica(Britney) continues to punish Flair.....kicking and punching Flair while he is down and especially when he is not looking. Blood continues to rush from the wound on Ric's forehead. The loss of blood starts to have it's effect as Ric becomes weaker.*

JR: I've never seen the Nature Boy take so much punishment. That kick from Michaels really seems to have taken it's toll on Flair. The 16 time world heavyweight champion is in deep trouble.

*erica(Britney) whips Flair into the turnbuckle. Ric flips over it but lands on his feet on the apron. He runs over to the next turnbuckle, climbs up but erica(Britney) meets him there and slams him to the canvas.*

JR: I just don't see how Ric can do any more out there. He's almost 60 years old for God's sake!

[Ric Flair 0]

JR: We are live in Greensville North Carolina tonight for Wrestlemania XXIV! Tonight's main event features The Nature Boy Ric Flair vs erica in a retirement match! This crowd is going nuts! The anticipation for this match has been building for months!

King: I can't wait JR! Somebody is permanently leaving VJ for good!

JR: That's right King, Ric Flair is putting up his illustrious 35 year career against a relative unknown erica. In fact, many have argued that all of the little popularity that erica has enjoyed has been due to the legendary beatings at the hands of the Nature Boy.

King: Yeah! erica has been chopped so many times by Flair that his posts don't even make sense anymore!

JR: That's not all that's not making sense either. In a recent interview, erica had some harsh words for Commissioner Ewok. I can't repeat the exact phrase on the air, but I can say it rhymed with wussy.

King: And he's not made too many friends backstage either!

JR: And who could blame them King. The nasty words and insults are the only thing that seem to come out of his mouth these days. He is putting himself above the sport and as you well know that doesn't sit well with Ric Flair. More than anyone in the history of this sport, Ric Flair has epitomized professionalism and doing the right thing. This is something he takes very personally and always has. That's the only reason he'd ever risk his career.

King: I still can't believe it JR! Ric Flair could be retired tonight!

JR: After 35 years of wheelin, dealin, limo ridin and jet flyin........it's hard to believe it could all end tonight. But now the talking is over and it's time to go to school. Our main event is next at Wrestlemania XXIV!

*The lights go out and the crowd gets restless*

King: What's going on JR?

JR: I don't know King, but the challenger always

*before he could finish the lights come back on and reveal erica sitting in one of the corners of the ring, staring down the ramp......intent and focused and slightly deranged*

JR: I guess erica has made his way to the ring. No entrance music or anything. He just appeared!

King: Yeah! He appears angry too JR!

*Just as the King stopped, the sweetest and most recognizable song in the history of sport came over the loudspeaker and the building erupted as Ric Flair emerged. His gown was laced with diamonds from head to toe because diamonds are forever......and so is Ric Flair. He outstretched his arms and gave the crowd a look as he slowly spun around like the true icon and ambassador to professional wrestling he is.*

JR: It's the Nature Boy Ric Flair! Could this be the last time we see the man, the legend walk that aisle? If it is, this crowd is enjoying every minute of it. I've never heard an ovation like this before!

*Ric unfastens the robe to reveal the World Heavyweight title belt. It is a belt he has worn on 16 different occassions throught 35 years in the business. Nobody is more closely related to the WWE championship belt than Ric Flair. erica's eyes never leave the champ as he watches Flair approach the ring. Flair walks slowly and confidently before stopping to confront a heckler*

King: What's going on?

JR: It looks like Flair is having some words with a fan at ringside.

King: That's no fan.....that's the former wrestler and hall of famer Mr Big Dog!

JR: You're right King!

King: He's not looking to good either. Wow, he's really put on weight an let himself go!

JR: Ric Flair and Mr Big Dog had legendary wars in the ring. I wonder what he has to say now?

Mr Big Dog: Not this again! Flair, you're an idiot and you're old. Just go home!

*Flair stops and turns to his former foe, pointing his finger right in his face.*

Flair: Wooooooo! You shut your mouth Reintard, and have some respect for the champ! This is the biggest night in the history of wrestling and you'd do best to shut up.

Mr Big Dog: Whatever Flair. If you survive this, I'll put you in retirement.

*Flair walks over to Reintard and slaps him across the face. Reintard immediately has tears well up in his eyes and he does what he should have done to begin with.....sits down, gets protected by his wife and keeps his mouth shut while Ric Flair goes to work*

King: Looks like Mr Big Dog just got some obedience training! That will teach him to take a dump on Ric Flair's lawn!

*Flair climbs the stairs and gets into the ring. erica rises and meets him in the middle of the ring*

JR: The crowd is chanting something, but I can't quite make it out.

King: I can, JR - they chanting Britney, Britney, Britney!

*It was true. The crowd was chanting Britney, and directing right at erica. You see, erica's state of mind had become so bad and the posts so disgusting that it reminded the crowd of the Britney Spears fiasco. His? life had become a trainwreck and had not gone unnoticed.*

JR: You can feel the tension between these two competitors. Who will make the first move?

*Flair extends his hand, offering erica(Britney) a handshake. erica(Britney) is not that smart so he offers his in return. Flair pulls his hand back to fix his hair, lets out a Woooooooo! and then bounces off the rope three times. As he finishes, he pokes erica(Britney) in the eye. Despite this being the fifth match between the two, erica(Britney) falls for it.*

JR: The fight's on King!

*erica(Britney) doubles over in pain from the eye poke and Ric Flair sets him up in the corner and delivers 10 thunderous chops. The crowd yells out Woooooo! after each one. erica(Britney) is stunned from the punishment and in a daze walks to the center of the ring and starts singing.*

erica(Britney):

On first day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

A trip to the learning tree!

On the second day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

2 eye pokes

On the third day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

3 elbow drops

On the fourth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

4 Figure 4's

On the fifth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

5 title matches

On the sixth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

6 atomic drops

On the seventh day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

7 Flairs a begging

On the eigth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

8 Weeks of banning

On the nineth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

9 Backs a breaking

On the tenth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

10 Ric Flair WOOOOOOOs!

10 Ric Flair WOOOOOOs

9 Backs a breaking

8 Weeks of banning

7 Flairs a begging

6 Atomic Drops

5 TITLE MATCHES

4 Figure 4's

3 Elbow Drops

2 Eyes Poked

AND A TRIP TO THE LEARNING TREEEEEEEEEEE!

King: That's the first time I've understood anything he's said JR!

*Upon completing the 10 Days of Chopmas, erica(Britney) collapses on the mat and starts twitching.....randomly saying things like fuke, g@y, g@y, g@y! c#ck....big have......what?......hate!*

JR: Looks like it's back to jibberish King. I thought it might come to this and we were prepared. Let's bring out our third broadcaster. She is a world reknown psychologist and translator of the challenged. Please welcome to the announcing booth. Stacey!

*Stacey emerges from the back. She is the only one in the history of the WWE with the professional experience and know-how to translate anything erica(Britney) has ever said.*

JR: Stacey, welcome to Wrestlemania XXIV. Can you please help us understand what erica(Britney) is saying?

Stacey: Thanks for the invite JR. Certainly I'll try.

King: Stacey! What I want to know is why he talks about his member so much?

Stacey: That's a good question King, and it has a two part answer. First, when erica(Britney) talks about how large his? p#nis is, what he? is actually saying is "look at me......I feel unwanted in this highly technological and educated world." "I don't have linguistic skills or the ability to type, therefore I feel impotent in this society and the only way I know how to gain respect is to talk about my p#nis in an attempt to reaffirm and really reestablish my lost sense masculenity." "It's my last hope for women to like me."

JR: Wow, that's really enlightening! What's the second part of the answer?

Stacey: Well, the second reason he always talks about his p#nis is fairly obvious. Look at that specimen named Ric Flair in the ring. Everything about him is sexy. It's no wonder the lines at Space Mountain are so long and everyone that takes a ride leaves happy. erica(Britney) wants that for himself. He wants to be wanted and respected like Ric Flair and who could blame him? Flair doesn't need to talk about how is is endowed. His nick-name is the Nature Boy. He represents the call of the wild and heat of passion.

King: Wow.....I think I'm getting turned on JR!

*erica(Britney) is still blabbering to himself - face down in the middle of the ring. Flair takes the opportunity to deliver a patented Flair knee drop. The execution is flawless as Flair delivers, rolls off and does the Flair strut. erica(Britney) cries out in pain and does a military crawl towards the bottom rope.....snot running down his nose.*

JR: Stacey, you're the psychological expert. What do you think erica(Britney) is thinking now?

Stacey: Well, that's the problem JR. erica(Britney) doesn't really think he just acts and reacts. While this is behavior typically seen in children under 4 years old, it can occassionally be observed in adults as well, but is far, far more sad. Much like a child, the afflicted adult will act out in tantrums and use foul language to get attention. Most children learn it does not work, but some do not and continue this behavior throughout their lives.

*Flair picks erica(Britney) up by the hair and stands him up straight. As erica(Britney) regains his? balance, Ric Flair bounces off the ropes and shoulder tackles erica(Britney)'s left knee*

JR: Now this is old school wrestling King, IV Horsemen style! They pick a body part and wear it down until the final hold. Flair is starting on the knee in preparation for the figure 4 leglock, the most well known submission hold in the history of wrestling.

King: If he gets that on erica(Britney) is will be over! He? will be retired from the WWE!

JR: I've just been handed a note delivered from the World of Warcraft. It says that there is no Greensville North Carolina, that is called Greenville, North Carolina and that JR has just been PWNED. It goes on......there's something about a zorz and a bbq and a reference to Chuck Norris. It's signed Pedrwoo

Stacey: Do you want me to translate that JR?

JR: Uh, no thanks. If I mispronounced Greenville, then my sincerest apologies to the fans of North Carolina. This place has seen it's share of legendary Flair moments.

*Flair continues to work on erica(Britney)'s leg. Unmercifully dropping elbows upon his downed opponent in classic Flair style. All looks lost for erica(Britney)*

JR: Look who's coming down to the ring. It's Shawn Michaels!

*erica(Britney) grabs the ref by the shirt, distracting him as Shawn Michaels enters the ring, stomps his foot on the ground and just as Flair turns around, Michaels says he is sorry, loves Ric and kicks him with sweet chin music. Flair goes down in a heap and Michaels runs out of the ring and back down the ramp.*

JR: I can't believe this, King.....Shawn Michaels just leveled Flair and the ref didn't see a thing.

*erica(Britney) rushes over to pin Flair. The ref counts.......1...........2..............

JR: No!

*just as the ref's hand was going to hit the mat for the three count, Flair kicked out.*

King: I can't believe it JR. Flair just kicked out! I thought that was it for sure!

JR: He may have kicked out but he's in trouble. That shot from Michaels busted Flair open. There's blood all over the ring.

*erica(Britney) gets up and starts laughing, followed by a very unusal display of jumping in place, kicking his legs backward, clicking heels and clapping.*

erica(Britney): <some intelligible noise that sounds like Sloth from Goonies> Ric....G@y, G@y, G@y lol. No......marbles........c#ck!

JR: Stacey, I think we need your help again.

Stacey: Yes of course. You see what erica(Britney) is saying is that his? masculenity has been so damaged by these beating from Flair that he? has a legitimate concern that he? may in fact now be g@y. It's hard to argue with erica(Britney) either. Think about it JR......I mean, is there anything more g@y then calling someone g@y? As for the marbles and c#ck comment, what he is trying to communicate is a metaphysical desire to have more marbles and be less of a c#ck. This is a real breakthrough.

King: The more time that goes on and the agrier he? gets, the less I understand. He?'s like the Incredible Hulk but without the muscles.

*erica(Britney) continues to punish Flair.....kicking and punching Flair while he is down and especially when he is not looking. Blood continues to rush from the wound on Ric's forehead. The loss of blood starts to have it's effect as Ric becomes weaker.*

JR: I've never seen the Nature Boy take so much punishment. That kick from Michaels really seems to have taken it's toll on Flair. The 16 time world heavyweight champion is in deep trouble.

*erica(Britney) whips Flair into the turnbuckle. Ric flips over it but lands on his feet on the apron. He runs over to the next turnbuckle, climbs up but erica(Britney) meets him there and slams him to the canvas.*

JR: I just don't see how Ric can do any more out there. He's almost 60 years old for God's sake!

And then it happened.

erica(Britney) moved in for the kill. Flair was on the mat, defenseless. erica(Britney) grabbed both of his legs and separated them. erica(Britney) was going to drop a leg right onto the Nature Balls. As he? extended his leg and let it drop, Ric Flair caught it and quickly got up and spun erica(Britney) into the Figure Four Leglock. Woooooooo!

JR: Flair's got him in the figure four. This is going to be over! erica(Britney)'s career is done!

Stacey: Not so fast JR. If there is one thing I know about erica(Britney) is that he? won't quit. Believe me.....many have tried and failed. He just keeps going and going on.

*Sure enough, Flair slapped the figure four on and erica(Britney) spewed out some more unintelligible garble, but didn't quit. Flair relinquished the hold and immediately got up. erica(Britney) had passed out from the pain. But in Flair's haste to get up, the loss of blood took an immediate toll by making him dizzy. He started to falter and even began seeing things.*

Memories of old came back. The historic matches with Ricky the Dragon Steamboat, Dusty Rhodes, Harely Race, Sting......the list went on and on. 35 years of taking the best everyone had to offer and giving them more than they could handle in return. All of the beatings, falls, wins and losses added up in a moment.

Flair stepped through the ropes, contemplating his next manuever. He would end this bout by climbing the ropes and delivering a final blow to the challenger. But as he stepped through those ropes, he glanced down the aisle to the back. Images seemed to be coming down the ramp. He couldn't make it out at first, but in his blood loss state, soon began to recognize the faces.

Ravishing Rick Rude

Chris Candido

The ref starts his count: 1

Bam Bam Bigelow

Sensational Sherri

2

Road Warrior Hawk

Junk Yard Dog

3

Owen Hart

Crash Holly

4

Brian Pillman

Eddie Guerrero

5

The British Bulldog

Miss Elizabeth

6

Big Bossman

Earthquake

7

Yokozuna

Hercules

8

Andre the Giant

Mr. Perfect Curt Henning

9

A bloodied Ric Flair glared out over all of the lost wrestlers......all of the history. So many were friends and respected collegues. All of the history of which he was a part. He owed a lot to the fallen......for their contribution also allowed Ric Flair to be one of the greatest of all time.

Ric turned and gazed out over the crowd. They were standing in horror, but with the intimate knowledge of the business they knew what was going to happen next.

10

JR: My god King. Ric Flair has just been counted out! I can't.......I mean

King: That means he's retired JR! Ric Flair is done with the WWE and VJ once and for all!

JR: I don't get it....he could have just gotten back into the ring

Stacey: Let me translate JR. He's going out the only way Ric Flair could. He's gonna walk that aisle!

The crowd, still shocked raised to their feet.....their eyes fixated on Ric Flair. The nostalgia, the moments....so many of which were part of their childhood and fondest memories was about to walk back to the dressing room for the last time.

Flair looked down the aisle and smiled. His fallen friends were calling him home. Calling upon him to join the legends and history of pro wrestling. A history that Ric helped to create and loved so dearly. A tear reached his eye and he made the walk back down that aisle.

The fans gave Flair a standing ovation. Grown men were crying but all gave Ric Flair the respect and ovation that he deserved. He had defended VJ from all comers. He had deflated many a situation and brought something unique to the boards. The time had come though to say enough was enough. The crowd knew it and sended him off the only way they could.

With a Woooooooo!

After all of the noise had settled down, erica(Britney) finally got to his? feet. In a rare moment, he took the mic and addressed the crowd:

erica(Britney): I just want to say that.........I'm sorry for all of the bad language and insults I've said over the past several weeks. My life is very difficult right now and I was going through some tough times. I'm not perfect and sometimes will say stupid stuff, but I hope the fans here forgive me. I promise to do better.....to take a step back and breathe before I talk. I promise not to fly off the handle and insult others. I'll take more time and think before I post. I realize I've screwed up.....even been banned but I hope I can be forgiven. I'd like very much to remain a part of VJ.

It was the first time erica(Britney) had said something worth listening to. Most of the crowd did not like him, but not because of him in general, but how he acted. Maybe this was the turning point, maybe not, but the crowd gave him a warm applause and commended him on his effort in this match and wished him the best in the future.

JR: I've just been notified that Ric Flair will hold a press conference to address his retirement. This is a sad day for professional wrestling and for Ric Flair.

Stacey: It's not sad JR.......It's the perfect ending.

[*julez* 124]

Ric Flair...you will be missed...

[Ric Flair 0]

JR: We are live in Greensville North Carolina tonight for Wrestlemania XXIV! Tonight's main event features The Nature Boy Ric Flair vs erica in a retirement match! This crowd is going nuts! The anticipation for this match has been building for months!

King: I can't wait JR! Somebody is permanently leaving VJ for good!

JR: That's right King, Ric Flair is putting up his illustrious 35 year career against a relative unknown erica. In fact, many have argued that all of the little popularity that erica has enjoyed has been due to the legendary beatings at the hands of the Nature Boy.

King: Yeah! erica has been chopped so many times by Flair that his posts don't even make sense anymore!

JR: That's not all that's not making sense either. In a recent interview, erica had some harsh words for Commissioner Ewok. I can't repeat the exact phrase on the air, but I can say it rhymed with wussy.

King: And he's not made too many friends backstage either!

JR: And who could blame them King. The nasty words and insults are the only thing that seem to come out of his mouth these days. He is putting himself above the sport and as you well know that doesn't sit well with Ric Flair. More than anyone in the history of this sport, Ric Flair has epitomized professionalism and doing the right thing. This is something he takes very personally and always has. That's the only reason he'd ever risk his career.

King: I still can't believe it JR! Ric Flair could be retired tonight!

JR: After 35 years of wheelin, dealin, limo ridin and jet flyin........it's hard to believe it could all end tonight. But now the talking is over and it's time to go to school. Our main event is next at Wrestlemania XXIV!

*The lights go out and the crowd gets restless*

King: What's going on JR?

JR: I don't know King, but the challenger always

*before he could finish the lights come back on and reveal erica sitting in one of the corners of the ring, staring down the ramp......intent and focused and slightly deranged*

JR: I guess erica has made his way to the ring. No entrance music or anything. He just appeared!

King: Yeah! He appears angry too JR!

*Just as the King stopped, the sweetest and most recognizable song in the history of sport came over the loudspeaker and the building erupted as Ric Flair emerged. His gown was laced with diamonds from head to toe because diamonds are forever......and so is Ric Flair. He outstretched his arms and gave the crowd a look as he slowly spun around like the true icon and ambassador to professional wrestling he is.*

JR: It's the Nature Boy Ric Flair! Could this be the last time we see the man, the legend walk that aisle? If it is, this crowd is enjoying every minute of it. I've never heard an ovation like this before!

*Ric unfastens the robe to reveal the World Heavyweight title belt. It is a belt he has worn on 16 different occassions throught 35 years in the business. Nobody is more closely related to the WWE championship belt than Ric Flair. erica's eyes never leave the champ as he watches Flair approach the ring. Flair walks slowly and confidently before stopping to confront a heckler*

King: What's going on?

JR: It looks like Flair is having some words with a fan at ringside.

King: That's no fan.....that's the former wrestler and hall of famer Mr Big Dog!

JR: You're right King!

King: He's not looking to good either. Wow, he's really put on weight an let himself go!

JR: Ric Flair and Mr Big Dog had legendary wars in the ring. I wonder what he has to say now?

Mr Big Dog: Not this again! Flair, you're an idiot and you're old. Just go home!

*Flair stops and turns to his former foe, pointing his finger right in his face.*

Flair: Wooooooo! You shut your mouth Reintard, and have some respect for the champ! This is the biggest night in the history of wrestling and you'd do best to shut up.

Mr Big Dog: Whatever Flair. If you survive this, I'll put you in retirement.

*Flair walks over to Reintard and slaps him across the face. Reintard immediately has tears well up in his eyes and he does what he should have done to begin with.....sits down, gets protected by his wife and keeps his mouth shut while Ric Flair goes to work*

King: Looks like Mr Big Dog just got some obedience training! That will teach him to take a dump on Ric Flair's lawn!

*Flair climbs the stairs and gets into the ring. erica rises and meets him in the middle of the ring*

JR: The crowd is chanting something, but I can't quite make it out.

King: I can, JR - they chanting Britney, Britney, Britney!

*It was true. The crowd was chanting Britney, and directing right at erica. You see, erica's state of mind had become so bad and the posts so disgusting that it reminded the crowd of the Britney Spears fiasco. His? life had become a trainwreck and had not gone unnoticed.*

JR: You can feel the tension between these two competitors. Who will make the first move?

*Flair extends his hand, offering erica(Britney) a handshake. erica(Britney) is not that smart so he offers his in return. Flair pulls his hand back to fix his hair, lets out a Woooooooo! and then bounces off the rope three times. As he finishes, he pokes erica(Britney) in the eye. Despite this being the fifth match between the two, erica(Britney) falls for it.*

JR: The fight's on King!

*erica(Britney) doubles over in pain from the eye poke and Ric Flair sets him up in the corner and delivers 10 thunderous chops. The crowd yells out Woooooo! after each one. erica(Britney) is stunned from the punishment and in a daze walks to the center of the ring and starts singing.*

erica(Britney):

On first day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

A trip to the learning tree!

On the second day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

2 eye pokes

On the third day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

3 elbow drops

On the fourth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

4 Figure 4's

On the fifth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

5 title matches

On the sixth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

6 atomic drops

On the seventh day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

7 Flairs a begging

On the eigth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

8 Weeks of banning

On the nineth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

9 Backs a breaking

On the tenth day of Chopmas, Ric Flair gave to me

10 Ric Flair WOOOOOOOs!

10 Ric Flair WOOOOOOs

9 Backs a breaking

8 Weeks of banning

7 Flairs a begging

6 Atomic Drops

5 TITLE MATCHES

4 Figure 4's

3 Elbow Drops

2 Eyes Poked

AND A TRIP TO THE LEARNING TREEEEEEEEEEE!

King: That's the first time I've understood anything he's said JR!

*Upon completing the 10 Days of Chopmas, erica(Britney) collapses on the mat and starts twitching.....randomly saying things like fuke, g@y, g@y, g@y! c#ck....big have......what?......hate!*

JR: Looks like it's back to jibberish King. I thought it might come to this and we were prepared. Let's bring out our third broadcaster. She is a world reknown psychologist and translator of the challenged. Please welcome to the announcing booth. Stacey!

*Stacey emerges from the back. She is the only one in the history of the WWE with the professional experience and know-how to translate anything erica(Britney) has ever said.*

JR: Stacey, welcome to Wrestlemania XXIV. Can you please help us understand what erica(Britney) is saying?

Stacey: Thanks for the invite JR. Certainly I'll try.

King: Stacey! What I want to know is why he talks about his member so much?

Stacey: That's a good question King, and it has a two part answer. First, when erica(Britney) talks about how large his? p#nis is, what he? is actually saying is "look at me......I feel unwanted in this highly technological and educated world." "I don't have linguistic skills or the ability to type, therefore I feel impotent in this society and the only way I know how to gain respect is to talk about my p#nis in an attempt to reaffirm and really reestablish my lost sense masculenity." "It's my last hope for women to like me."

JR: Wow, that's really enlightening! What's the second part of the answer?

Stacey: Well, the second reason he always talks about his p#nis is fairly obvious. Look at that specimen named Ric Flair in the ring. Everything about him is sexy. It's no wonder the lines at Space Mountain are so long and everyone that takes a ride leaves happy. erica(Britney) wants that for himself. He wants to be wanted and respected like Ric Flair and who could blame him? Flair doesn't need to talk about how is is endowed. His nick-name is the Nature Boy. He represents the call of the wild and heat of passion.

King: Wow.....I think I'm getting turned on JR!

*erica(Britney) is still blabbering to himself - face down in the middle of the ring. Flair takes the opportunity to deliver a patented Flair knee drop. The execution is flawless as Flair delivers, rolls off and does the Flair strut. erica(Britney) cries out in pain and does a military crawl towards the bottom rope.....snot running down his nose.*

JR: Stacey, you're the psychological expert. What do you think erica(Britney) is thinking now?

Stacey: Well, that's the problem JR. erica(Britney) doesn't really think he just acts and reacts. While this is behavior typically seen in children under 4 years old, it can occassionally be observed in adults as well, but is far, far more sad. Much like a child, the afflicted adult will act out in tantrums and use foul language to get attention. Most children learn it does not work, but some do not and continue this behavior throughout their lives.

*Flair picks erica(Britney) up by the hair and stands him up straight. As erica(Britney) regains his? balance, Ric Flair bounces off the ropes and shoulder tackles erica(Britney)'s left knee*

JR: Now this is old school wrestling King, IV Horsemen style! They pick a body part and wear it down until the final hold. Flair is starting on the knee in preparation for the figure 4 leglock, the most well known submission hold in the history of wrestling.

King: If he gets that on erica(Britney) is will be over! He? will be retired from the WWE!

JR: I've just been handed a note delivered from the World of Warcraft. It says that there is no Greensville North Carolina, that is called Greenville, North Carolina and that JR has just been PWNED. It goes on......there's something about a zorz and a bbq and a reference to Chuck Norris. It's signed Pedrwoo

Stacey: Do you want me to translate that JR?

JR: Uh, no thanks. If I mispronounced Greenville, then my sincerest apologies to the fans of North Carolina. This place has seen it's share of legendary Flair moments.

*Flair continues to work on erica(Britney)'s leg. Unmercifully dropping elbows upon his downed opponent in classic Flair style. All looks lost for erica(Britney)*

JR: Look who's coming down to the ring. It's Shawn Michaels!

*erica(Britney) grabs the ref by the shirt, distracting him as Shawn Michaels enters the ring, stomps his foot on the ground and just as Flair turns around, Michaels says he is sorry, loves Ric and kicks him with sweet chin music. Flair goes down in a heap and Michaels runs out of the ring and back down the ramp.*

JR: I can't believe this, King.....Shawn Michaels just leveled Flair and the ref didn't see a thing.

*erica(Britney) rushes over to pin Flair. The ref counts.......1...........2..............

JR: No!

*just as the ref's hand was going to hit the mat for the three count, Flair kicked out.*

King: I can't believe it JR. Flair just kicked out! I thought that was it for sure!

JR: He may have kicked out but he's in trouble. That shot from Michaels busted Flair open. There's blood all over the ring.

*erica(Britney) gets up and starts laughing, followed by a very unusal display of jumping in place, kicking his legs backward, clicking heels and clapping.*

erica(Britney): <some intelligible noise that sounds like Sloth from Goonies> Ric....G@y, G@y, G@y lol. No......marbles........c#ck!

JR: Stacey, I think we need your help again.

Stacey: Yes of course. You see what erica(Britney) is saying is that his? masculenity has been so damaged by these beating from Flair that he? has a legitimate concern that he? may in fact now be g@y. It's hard to argue with erica(Britney) either. Think about it JR......I mean, is there anything more g@y then calling someone g@y? As for the marbles and c#ck comment, what he is trying to communicate is a metaphysical desire to have more marbles and be less of a c#ck. This is a real breakthrough.

King: The more time that goes on and the agrier he? gets, the less I understand. He?'s like the Incredible Hulk but without the muscles.

*erica(Britney) continues to punish Flair.....kicking and punching Flair while he is down and especially when he is not looking. Blood continues to rush from the wound on Ric's forehead. The loss of blood starts to have it's effect as Ric becomes weaker.*

JR: I've never seen the Nature Boy take so much punishment. That kick from Michaels really seems to have taken it's toll on Flair. The 16 time world heavyweight champion is in deep trouble.

*erica(Britney) whips Flair into the turnbuckle. Ric flips over it but lands on his feet on the apron. He runs over to the next turnbuckle, climbs up but erica(Britney) meets him there and slams him to the canvas.*

JR: I just don't see how Ric can do any more out there. He's almost 60 years old for God's sake!

And then it happened.

erica(Britney) moved in for the kill. Flair was on the mat, defenseless. erica(Britney) grabbed both of his legs and separated them. erica(Britney) was going to drop a leg right onto the Nature Balls. As he? extended his leg and let it drop, Ric Flair caught it and quickly got up and spun erica(Britney) into the Figure Four Leglock. Woooooooo!

JR: Flair's got him in the figure four. This is going to be over! erica(Britney)'s career is done!

Stacey: Not so fast JR. If there is one thing I know about erica(Britney) is that he? won't quit. Believe me.....many have tried and failed. He just keeps going and going on.

*Sure enough, Flair slapped the figure four on and erica(Britney) spewed out some more unintelligible garble, but didn't quit. Flair relinquished the hold and immediately got up. erica(Britney) had passed out from the pain. But in Flair's haste to get up, the loss of blood took an immediate toll by making him dizzy. He started to falter and even began seeing things.*

Memories of old came back. The historic matches with Ricky the Dragon Steamboat, Dusty Rhodes, Harely Race, Sting......the list went on and on. 35 years of taking the best everyone had to offer and giving them more than they could handle in return. All of the beatings, falls, wins and losses added up in a moment.

Flair stepped through the ropes, contemplating his next manuever. He would end this bout by climbing the ropes and delivering a final blow to the challenger. But as he stepped through those ropes, he glanced down the aisle to the back. Images seemed to be coming down the ramp. He couldn't make it out at first, but in his blood loss state, soon began to recognize the faces.

Ravishing Rick Rude

Chris Candido

The ref starts his count: 1

Bam Bam Bigelow

Sensational Sherri

2

Road Warrior Hawk

Junk Yard Dog

3

Owen Hart

Crash Holly

4

Brian Pillman

Eddie Guerrero

5

The British Bulldog

Miss Elizabeth

6

Big Bossman

Earthquake

7

Yokozuna

Hercules

8

Andre the Giant

Mr. Perfect Curt Henning

9

A bloodied Ric Flair glared out over all of the lost wrestlers......all of the history. So many were friends and respected collegues. All of the history of which he was a part. He owed a lot to the fallen......for their contribution also allowed Ric Flair to be one of the greatest of all time.

Ric turned and gazed out over the crowd. They were standing in horror, but with the intimate knowledge of the business they knew what was going to happen next.

10

JR: My god King. Ric Flair has just been counted out! I can't.......I mean

King: That means he's retired JR! Ric Flair is done with the WWE and VJ once and for all!

JR: I don't get it....he could have just gotten back into the ring

Stacey: Let me translate JR. He's going out the only way Ric Flair could. He's gonna walk that aisle!

The crowd, still shocked raised to their feet.....their eyes fixated on Ric Flair. The nostalgia, the moments....so many of which were part of their childhood and fondest memories was about to walk back to the dressing room for the last time.

Flair looked down the aisle and smiled. His fallen friends were calling him home. Calling upon him to join the legends and history of pro wrestling. A history that Ric helped to create and loved so dearly. A tear reached his eye and he made the walk back down that aisle.

The fans gave Flair a standing ovation. Grown men were crying but all gave Ric Flair the respect and ovation that he deserved. He had defended VJ from all comers. He had deflated many a situation and brought something unique to the boards. The time had come though to say enough was enough. The crowd knew it and sended him off the only way they could.

With a Woooooooo!

After all of the noise had settled down, erica(Britney) finally got to his? feet. In a rare moment, he took the mic and addressed the crowd:

erica(Britney): I just want to say that.........I'm sorry for all of the bad language and insults I've said over the past several weeks. My life is very difficult right now and I was going through some tough times. I'm not perfect and sometimes will say stupid stuff, but I hope the fans here forgive me. I promise to do better.....to take a step back and breathe before I talk. I promise not to fly off the handle and insult others. I'll take more time and think before I post. I realize I've screwed up.....even been banned but I hope I can be forgiven. I'd like very much to remain a part of VJ.

It was the first time erica(Britney) had said something worth listening to. Most of the crowd did not like him, but not because of him in general, but how he acted. Maybe this was the turning point, maybe not, but the crowd gave him a warm applause and commended him on his effort in this match and wished him the best in the future.

JR: I've just been notified that Ric Flair will hold a press conference to address his retirement. This is a sad day for professional wrestling and for Ric Flair.

Stacey: It's not sad JR.......It's the perfect ending.

The Last Press Conference

Reporter 1: Ric, you just put on one of the greatest shows in Wrestlemania history. What are you going to do now?

Flair: Woooooo! I'm going to Disneyland! I may be retired from the ring, but Space Mountain is still open for business.

Reporter 2: Do you have anything to say to the fans, Ric?

Flair: Yes of course. It's hard to get out of character, but outside the ring it's a very different life for me. The fans are one of the things that kept me going, kept me working and allowed me to provide a good life to my family. There were sacrafices emotionally and physically but it was worth every d@mn minute of it.

Reporter 3: Any advice for others about to take a visa journey?

Flair: As my own visa journey comes to a close, and I retire, I can say that there will be times when you worry about tomorrow......maybe even lose faith and get knocked on your @ss. But if you're feeling down.....or feel on the attack.......then get your @ss up, give life a Woooooo! and chop right back. Always remember what got you there. Remember day one of this ride and know that time isn't tearing you apart. Time is the magnet that is pulling you together, and it's always on your side whether you understand it or not. Every day gets you a little closer to the dream......the magnet will work and time will overcome distance. It's an unstoppable force. Those of us that take this journey have to pay the price. But just like my wrestling career.....all of the blood, sweat, and tears are worth every d@mn minute of it. It takes a lot out of you but gives you so much back. The respect and adoration of your peers will also come and you'll be an example of being true believers and that anything is possible if you want it bad enough. That's what Ric Flair and the Visa Journey is all about.

As things get frustrating, don't take it out on the people here. Vent responsibly and keep your cool. There are ways to do things without becoming something you don't want to be. The more negative you fill yourself up with, the more of a positive charge it will take to get you back to neutral......but people have limits.

So to wrap things up.......keep on strutting, keep on stylin, keep on profilin, keep on walking that aisle. If you do that, then one day you just might find yourself champion of the world.....or at least champion of your spouse's world.

Wooooooo! what? Wooooooo!

Flair 3:16 means you just got Woooed

IV

Diamonds are forever and so is Ric Flair. To be the man, you've got to beat the man.....and I'm the man.

Woooooooo!

[almaty 19]

wow, brought tears to my eyes....you be missed ric...

[pedroh 21]

Ric Flair lives in Lake Wylie, SC.. and that ain't BS.. it's troo

[almaty 19]

i always thought, he was from north carolina

[pedroh 21]

he has a house there

[almaty 19]

ric flair....has houses everywhere

[*julez* 124]

wow, brought tears to my eyes....you be missed ric...

a real tear jerker of a speech....gone from VJ but never forgotten

woooooooooooooooo!

[almaty 19]

sister julia, he be missed one of the greatest vjers ever..........gone but not forgotten