Being Kind over being right

[SaadBell 0]

I have heard this so many times on this forum, that if you put out your personal information you are risking being torn apart. What is this about, why does it have to be this way? We ponder and talk about peace when in fact peace starts with us. I can’t change anyone but myself, and I think that when responding to someone, always try to find a positive points of that person. Sometimes this is a hard task, but after practicing it comes a lot easier.

As you get older and wiser I think you become more tolerant and mellow. You begin to realize that life is too short to fight with everyone over every silly dispute. That’s not to say that you should allow others take advantage of you every day. However, you just don’t have to go out of your way to prove that you are always right. Instead, make an extra effort to find things that you agree with others about, instead of looking for the areas where you disagree. And instead of fighting - use more diplomacy to get things done. And by the way – don’t wait until you are older to mellow out. Start today and you will improve many of your relationships and thus improve your lifestyle. Take off the boxing gloves and start enjoying life more!

You are given many opportunities to choose between being kind and being right. You have chances to point out someone their mistakes, things they could have done differently, and ways they can improve. You have chances to correct people, privately as well as in front of others. With all of these opportunities amount to our chances to make someone else feel bad, and yourself feel bad in the process.

Without getting too psychoanalytical about it, the reason we are tempted to put others down, correct them, or show them how we are right and how they are wrong is that ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and then we can feel better. If you pay attention to the way you feel after you put someone down, you will notice that you feel worse than before the put down. Your heart, the compassionate part of you, knows that it is impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else. Luckily the opposite is true when your goal is to build people up, to make them feel better. To share in their joy, you too reap the rewards of their positive feelings. The next time you have the chance to correct somebody, even if their facts are a little off, resist the temptation. Instead ask yourself, what do I really want out of this interaction? Chances are what you want is peaceful interaction where all parties leave feeling good. Each time you resist being right and instead choose kindness, you will notice a peaceful feeling within.

This starts with me, so if I have ever said or done anything to hurt one’s feelings on this forum, I sincerely apologize. I am no better or no worst, and if someone comes and spills their personal life, that does not give me any right to point out their errors. If I can’t say something comforting than maybe I just won’t say anything. I just am putting this out because I see a lot of conflict in this forum. We are all educated well adjusted adults and if we can’t have peace what chance is there for world peace. It starts with me, and I will never say anything negative to anyone on this forum, if I can’t say anything helpful or positive than I will be silent.

[~Jackie~ 30]

ok

Edited January 25, 2008 by just_Jackie

[Cheryl & Medo 3]

Very nicely said.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

we are who we are, dont put yourself in the position to NEED to say im sorry

[Sofiyya 1,687]

me no traitor, brnny

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I have heard this so many times on this forum, that if you put out your personal information you are risking being torn apart. What is this about, why does it have to be this way? We ponder and talk about peace when in fact peace starts with us. I can’t change anyone but myself, and I think that when responding to someone, always try to find a positive points of that person. Sometimes this is a hard task, but after practicing it comes a lot easier.

As you get older and wiser I think you become more tolerant and mellow. You begin to realize that life is too short to fight with everyone over every silly dispute. That’s not to say that you should allow others take advantage of you every day. However, you just don’t have to go out of your way to prove that you are always right. Instead, make an extra effort to find things that you agree with others about, instead of looking for the areas where you disagree. And instead of fighting - use more diplomacy to get things done. And by the way – don’t wait until you are older to mellow out. Start today and you will improve many of your relationships and thus improve your lifestyle. Take off the boxing gloves and start enjoying life more!

You are given many opportunities to choose between being kind and being right. You have chances to point out someone their mistakes, things they could have done differently, and ways they can improve. You have chances to correct people, privately as well as in front of others. With all of these opportunities amount to our chances to make someone else feel bad, and yourself feel bad in the process.

Without getting too psychoanalytical about it, the reason we are tempted to put others down, correct them, or show them how we are right and how they are wrong is that ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and then we can feel better. If you pay attention to the way you feel after you put someone down, you will notice that you feel worse than before the put down. Your heart, the compassionate part of you, knows that it is impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else. Luckily the opposite is true when your goal is to build people up, to make them feel better. To share in their joy, you too reap the rewards of their positive feelings. The next time you have the chance to correct somebody, even if their facts are a little off, resist the temptation. Instead ask yourself, what do I really want out of this interaction? Chances are what you want is peaceful interaction where all parties leave feeling good. Each time you resist being right and instead choose kindness, you will notice a peaceful feeling within.

This starts with me, so if I have ever said or done anything to hurt one’s feelings on this forum, I sincerely apologize. I am no better or no worst, and if someone comes and spills their personal life, that does not give me any right to point out their errors. If I can’t say something comforting than maybe I just won’t say anything. I just am putting this out because I see a lot of conflict in this forum. We are all educated well adjusted adults and if we can’t have peace what chance is there for world peace. It starts with me, and I will never say anything negative to anyone on this forum, if I can’t say anything helpful or positive than I will be silent.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I have heard this so many times on this forum, that if you put out your personal information you are risking being torn apart. What is this about, why does it have to be this way? We ponder and talk about peace when in fact peace starts with us. I can’t change anyone but myself, and I think that when responding to someone, always try to find a positive points of that person. Sometimes this is a hard task, but after practicing it comes a lot easier.

As you get older and wiser I think you become more tolerant and mellow. You begin to realize that life is too short to fight with everyone over every silly dispute. That’s not to say that you should allow others take advantage of you every day. However, you just don’t have to go out of your way to prove that you are always right. Instead, make an extra effort to find things that you agree with others about, instead of looking for the areas where you disagree. And instead of fighting - use more diplomacy to get things done. And by the way – don’t wait until you are older to mellow out. Start today and you will improve many of your relationships and thus improve your lifestyle. Take off the boxing gloves and start enjoying life more!

You are given many opportunities to choose between being kind and being right. You have chances to point out someone their mistakes, things they could have done differently, and ways they can improve. You have chances to correct people, privately as well as in front of others. With all of these opportunities amount to our chances to make someone else feel bad, and yourself feel bad in the process.

Without getting too psychoanalytical about it, the reason we are tempted to put others down, correct them, or show them how we are right and how they are wrong is that ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and then we can feel better. If you pay attention to the way you feel after you put someone down, you will notice that you feel worse than before the put down. Your heart, the compassionate part of you, knows that it is impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else. Luckily the opposite is true when your goal is to build people up, to make them feel better. To share in their joy, you too reap the rewards of their positive feelings. The next time you have the chance to correct somebody, even if their facts are a little off, resist the temptation. Instead ask yourself, what do I really want out of this interaction? Chances are what you want is peaceful interaction where all parties leave feeling good. Each time you resist being right and instead choose kindness, you will notice a peaceful feeling within.

This starts with me, so if I have ever said or done anything to hurt one’s feelings on this forum, I sincerely apologize. I am no better or no worst, and if someone comes and spills their personal life, that does not give me any right to point out their errors. If I can’t say something comforting than maybe I just won’t say anything. I just am putting this out because I see a lot of conflict in this forum. We are all educated well adjusted adults and if we can’t have peace what chance is there for world peace. It starts with me, and I will never say anything negative to anyone on this forum, if I can’t say anything helpful or positive than I will be silent.

people on here are going to give their honest opinion, You started off complaining about airline tickets for an ex fiancee. And you are married to someone else. Writing a bunch of psychoanalytical quotations does not erase the fact that for some people, what you said was kind of odd. This forum will pretty much catch all kinds of people and personalities. No one is going to hold back around here and if you cannot deal with it ( and I sometimes sure as hell cannot cause I am sensitive) dont post stuff like you did. If you read what you wrote, it looks odd ganja...

[HLM 1]

i couldnt agree more thank you so much for this post !!

[sandinista! 1,816]

well....unless you make a big production on the forum about being pregnant and having a whole gamut of personal drama. past odd comments magically disappear into the breeze like dandelion fluff then. it's easy to fix ganja girl. just put up one of those pregnancy tickers on yr signature.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

well....unless you make a big production on the forum about being pregnant and having a whole gamut of personal drama. past odd comments magically disappear into the breeze like dandelion fluff then. it's easy to fix ganja girl. just put up one of those pregnancy tickers on yr signature.

well since I almost died last week and you have been nothing but nasty I think you can probably relate to what she is talking about.... I have a right to have a pregnancy ticker. I also have a right to say what I think as do everyone else around here...No one has forgotten the things I have said. They just have more class than you

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I have heard this so many times on this forum, that if you put out your personal information you are risking being torn apart. What is this about, why does it have to be this way? We ponder and talk about peace when in fact peace starts with us. I can’t change anyone but myself, and I think that when responding to someone, always try to find a positive points of that person. Sometimes this is a hard task, but after practicing it comes a lot easier.

As you get older and wiser I think you become more tolerant and mellow. You begin to realize that life is too short to fight with everyone over every silly dispute. That’s not to say that you should allow others take advantage of you every day. However, you just don’t have to go out of your way to prove that you are always right. Instead, make an extra effort to find things that you agree with others about, instead of looking for the areas where you disagree. And instead of fighting - use more diplomacy to get things done. And by the way – don’t wait until you are older to mellow out. Start today and you will improve many of your relationships and thus improve your lifestyle. Take off the boxing gloves and start enjoying life more!

You are given many opportunities to choose between being kind and being right. You have chances to point out someone their mistakes, things they could have done differently, and ways they can improve. You have chances to correct people, privately as well as in front of others. With all of these opportunities amount to our chances to make someone else feel bad, and yourself feel bad in the process.

Without getting too psychoanalytical about it, the reason we are tempted to put others down, correct them, or show them how we are right and how they are wrong is that ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and then we can feel better. If you pay attention to the way you feel after you put someone down, you will notice that you feel worse than before the put down. Your heart, the compassionate part of you, knows that it is impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else. Luckily the opposite is true when your goal is to build people up, to make them feel better. To share in their joy, you too reap the rewards of their positive feelings. The next time you have the chance to correct somebody, even if their facts are a little off, resist the temptation. Instead ask yourself, what do I really want out of this interaction? Chances are what you want is peaceful interaction where all parties leave feeling good. Each time you resist being right and instead choose kindness, you will notice a peaceful feeling within.

This starts with me, so if I have ever said or done anything to hurt one’s feelings on this forum, I sincerely apologize. I am no better or no worst, and if someone comes and spills their personal life, that does not give me any right to point out their errors. If I can’t say something comforting than maybe I just won’t say anything. I just am putting this out because I see a lot of conflict in this forum. We are all educated well adjusted adults and if we can’t have peace what chance is there for world peace. It starts with me, and I will never say anything negative to anyone on this forum, if I can’t say anything helpful or positive than I will be silent.

take a look at what the moron below me said. I almost died last week of respiratory failure and even I dont get a break from the dogs from hell. So what makes you think people will cut you slack. LOL

Welcome to mena... Just keep posting and ignore the people you don't like

[I love Ashraf 0]

ganja some people have no tact,but the fact remains that you have opened your personal life up to all kinds of mind-sets and maturity levels.But the fact remains you brought this information to us freely and willingly.I am a pretty open person so I am game to tell ppl whatever.And really don't care what they say or think.We all have feelings and depending on the time of day and the person my feelings can be hurt,but I am a sweet girl a good girl gone bad and I have taken a kiss my(fill in the blank) attitude.You don't need others to validate what you are doing.I come here to get info,to share anything I may have learned,to see how folks doing and yes I hope to make some friends because on some level we a family,we share common goals,feelings,thoughts,hopes and dreams but hey we are not all going to agree all the time or get along all the time.I am not going to lie I was somewhat confused I thought you were just speaking about one man,then after I re-read the post and realized you were speaking about 2 different situations. You are hurt and you have a right to be because noone lives in your skin but you.Rather the man lives next door or across the world if his intentions are wrong they are wrong,for me a real man a good has nothing to do with is money,hey I am not crazy money helps.But if a man is kind,smart,generous and has Integrity those things matter to me most.Money comes and goes,you did not pay for him you paid to go see the man you had feelings for and wanted to be with. Most of us know that out sweeties are poor because the economic system in the world is jacked up.As for his family they really have nothing to do with how he treats you because they have not promised you anything and they owe you nothing ...he does.We are all adults and we have to be accountable for our decisions and you want answers that you will probably never get on his end.All you can do now is accept your part in the situation stop beating yourself up and move on ,because it like when you lend money to friends/family make it a gift because it is very likely you will not see it again and never give more than you can afford to lose.

I know I have a man that is not about my money hell I don't have any and he knows I have been out of work since April,he would love nothing more than to pay for my ticket but the reality is he works 2 jobs and makes like 45 dollars.I wanted to give him something nice for his birthday and refuses to tell me his sizes because he does not want me to buy him a stick of gum. I am a realist and what I want and need from him at this point does not have a monetary value.I am more worried about my heart not my wallet.And yes when I go to Egypt I will pay for my airfare.

This is to Wahrania and all the other soon-to-be Mommies put all the tickers you want up,because I know if/when I get knocked up I am sending out mass e-mails hell might but a ad in the paper. Pregnancy is a joyous time,the ultimate blessing you have been highly favored by God when you are chosen to bring forth a new life Allah Akbar!!!!We must celebrate a new life coming into the Ummah giving way to another genernation,that comment was so silly and petty and very much uncalled for. Ladies enjoy this time,I don't know any of you very well but I am excited you are having little ones.

Maranda

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

ganja some people have no tact,but the fact remains that you have opened your personal life up to all kinds of mind-sets and maturity levels.But the fact remains you brought this information to us freely and willingly.I am a pretty open person so I am game to tell ppl whatever.And really don't care what they say or think.We all have feelings and depending on the time of day and the person my feelings can be hurt,but I am a sweet girl a good girl gone bad and I have taken a kiss my(fill in the blank) attitude.You don't need others to validate what you are doing.I come here to get info,to share anything I may have learned,to see how folks doing and yes I hope to make some friends because on some level we a family,we share common goals,feelings,thoughts,hopes and dreams but hey we are not all going to agree all the time or get along all the time.I am not going to lie I was somewhat confused I thought you were just speaking about one man,then after I re-read the post and realized you were speaking about 2 different situations. You are hurt and you have a right to be because noone lives in your skin but you.Rather the man lives next door or across the world if his intentions are wrong they are wrong,for me a real man a good has nothing to do with is money,hey I am not crazy money helps.But if a man is kind,smart,generous and has Integrity those things matter to me most.Money comes and goes,you did not pay for him you paid to go see the man you had feelings for and wanted to be with. Most of us know that out sweeties are poor because the economic system in the world is jacked up.As for his family they really have nothing to do with how he treats you because they have not promised you anything and they owe you nothing ...he does.We are all adults and we have to be accountable for our decisions and you want answers that you will probably never get on his end.All you can do now is accept your part in the situation stop beating yourself up and move on ,because it like when you lend money to friends/family make it a gift because it is very likely you will not see it again and never give more than you can afford to lose.

I know I have a man that is not about my money hell I don't have any and he knows I have been out of work since April,he would love nothing more than to pay for my ticket but the reality is he works 2 jobs and makes like 45 dollars.I wanted to give him something nice for his birthday and refuses to tell me his sizes because he does not want me to buy him a stick of gum. I am a realist and what I want and need from him at this point does not have a

monetary value.I am more worried about my heart not my wallet.And yes when I go to Egypt I will pay for my airfare.

This is to

Wahrania and all the other soon-to-be Mommies put all the tickers you want up,because I know if/when I get knocked up I am sending out mass e-mails hell might but a ad in the paper. Pregnancy is a joyous time,the ultimate blessing you have been highly favored by God when you are chosen to bring forth a new life Allah Akbar!!!!We must celebrate a new life coming into the Ummah giving way to another genernation,that comment was so silly and petty and very much uncalled for. Ladies enjoy this time,I don't know any of you very well but I am excited you are having little ones.

Maranda

exactlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

g

Ganja, whatever you post will trigger something in someone.... look at what I got and girlie I have struggled to breathe and was hospitalised and really have been through hell. Some of the people on here are immature, nasty, bitter. You opened yourself up by complaining and so have I so you have 2 choices like I told you. Express yourself and you will meet some people who will be your friends. You will also meet people who archive posts and black mail ( never in my computer life have I seen some of the nastiness that goes on in MENA,just vicious.)You will see posts if you post something controversial that run the gamut. You just have to weed through the nasties,ignore the dogs from hell and yes thats what they remind me of after I saw some stuff posted last month which just trancended anything moral or good and it wasnt about me....and get the support and love you need.

there are some INCREDIBLE people on here... Just keep posting and you will weed through the nasties and find friends

good luck ( and the new one is paying the tickets YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)

[doodlebugg 10]

I can't wait to get my eyes checked next month! Every frikkin' time I see the title to this thread I think it says

"bend over just right"

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I can't wait to get my eyes checked next month! Every frikkin' time I see the title to this thread I think it says

"bend over just right"

No thats the title for the USCIS thread

bend over just right

ok that was uncalled for

but i am feeling like that after 1 year in process