I don't want to get involved

[eric&gen 0]

A sticky situation i run the other way.

[Minya's wife 24]

So my husband calls me today and says they want us to write a letter of support stating that we know them as a married couple and that we went on double dates with them while they were dating. Well....we did, but only once that I recall and then we drove them to the spot where he proposed to her.

In essence there's the text of your letter. You did go on a double date, and you can attest to their marriage proposal. If your husband would like to support these people, but you're the one w/ the better english skills, there's no reason why you can't edit a letter that your husband dictates to you and he can sign it. I don't think that such support letters have to come from both of you.

I honestly don't want to write a letter of support. I believe he married her in a rush because it was convenient for them both; she desperately wanted a green card - he wanted sex but doesn't believe in sex before marriage, I don't understand how a couple can become married in such a short time when she barely speaks English and he does not speak Spanish at all; they completely ignored everything I told them about how to go about the visa process legally as soon as they got engaged - they didn't want to know, and then got very upset when they got caught;

What you believe, or what sounds good to you is irrelevant. They're not asking you to attest to the validity of their relationship.....just to state that you know them as a 'couple'. That validity, or lack thereof, will be examined at the visa interview. I don't think we should be judging anyone's relationship. Everyone has their own set of parameters when they marry and its their own business. Seeing as how this man has stayed w/ this wife that he just married for convenience, and survied a two year separation, perhaps there's more to this marriage than a greencard and state/church sanctioned sex?

Just MO, but I don't think they're asking for too much...a simple letter that states the facts. But it sounds like you're more upset that they did not follow your advice from the beginning.

-P

[*JG* 2]

I'm sure you all remember my rants about my husband's stupid male acquaintance who met a Mexican girl (who can barely speak English and was living and working here illegally on a tourist visa) in July, proposed to her in August and married her in December. She then continued to use her tourist visa to go back and forth to Mexico every weekend to visit her father and they never filed any paperwork before or following their marriage. She then got stopped trying to come back into the US by misrepresenting her tourist visa after her and her husband had gone to Mexico together for vacation and she was given voluntary departure.

So they have been apart for almost 2 years having finally submitted a spousal visa petition and he told us last week that they have their interview in 3 weeks time. He asked me what to expect and I truthfully told him I had no idea (as I've never applied for a spousal visa and have no idea how the embassy in Mexico handles these), but I did tell him that whetaver happens he has to be 100% honest about everything.

So my husband calls me today and says they want us to write a letter of support stating that we know them as a married couple and that we went on double dates with them while they were dating. Well....we did, but only once that I recall and then we drove them to the spot where he proposed to her. I honestly don't want to write a letter of support. I believe he married her in a rush because it was convenient for them both; she desperately wanted a green card - he wanted sex but doesn't believe in sex before marriage, I don't understand how a couple can become married in such a short time when she barely speaks English and he does not speak Spanish at all; they completely ignored everything I told them about how to go about the visa process legally as soon as they got engaged - they didn't want to know, and then got very upset when they got caught; I don't feel that we can support them because we've barely spent any time with them - it's not like we're bosom buddies. I don't beliebe they have a real marriage anyway.

Trouble is - my husband thinks I have a bad attitude about it, which I wouldn't have it they hadn't shown such a blatant disregard for doing things legally when they had every opportunity to do so. My husband is expecting me to write the letter because I have better writing and grammatical skills and if I don't, I know what the consequences will be. I don't want to feel like I've compromised my own stance on this though.

Anyone have any ideas on a good way to handle this?

It seems to me that you don't want to help them as a punishment for not listening to you from the get go. I agree they probebly should have taken your advice but they didn't and you can't change that now. The bottom line is he is a friend of your husbands and your husband wants to help them. In the letter, you only need to write what is actually true. After all, they will have to face a higher authority, which is the consular or immigration officer and we all know how that is.

Don't let this cause an issue between the two of you

Then, let your husband write the letter.

If I felt as strongly as you do about not writing the letter and my husband felt differently, I would tell him to go ahead and write the letter; but I want no part of it. He's a grown man and can do what he wants. I dont' have to agree nor follow every single thing he says. End of story!