***Help me (Baby DADDY - DRAMA)***

[Forever Young 1]

Why does the buyer have to come back to sign? Did they not sign already? I've sold houses before where we came at different times, different days to sign the papers. All you need is his signature, right?

Your EX? Remind me....is he ex-husband or you were never married? If married, what does the divorce decree say? If not, is there a custody agreement? If not, does he pay you any kind of child support? If no to all of those, then, he's all yours to claim. If yes to any of those, there are other issues to consider.

I just had the IRS send me a letter stating my ex and myself claimed my kids on last year's tax returns. I sent them a copy of our divorce decree stating I get them on even numbered years and sent the first page of each of the last 5 tax returns to prove I've done just that. I then sent them a letter stating they needed to talk to him about this, not me.

I say if it is your right, claim your child and let the IRS deal with the ex.

JG-

Never married (thank GOD)...he (my ex) did not show up for closing and both of our names are on the paperwork. We own the house jointly. NO custody agreement.

It does not matter if he shows up at the same time as you or not. I sold my house with my ex. He signed when he could come in. I signed when I could. The buyers signed when they could......all 3 at different times. You immediate problem is getting him to sign. Being there when he does and they do is not the issue.

As far as a custody agreement....that is good news for you. IMPORTANT.....does he give you money on a regular basis for support of that child?

JG--

He justs FLAT refused to sign. They kept calling him (mind you this was 8:30 in the morning) we waited until 11am. The buyers are so nice and I was beyond embrassed. I just sat there and cried. I understand he does not have to be there (I preferred it that way), but he said he was on his way. He had no plans on ever showing up. Just another way to spite me. As far as custody (nothing is set in stone) but he does pay the childcare, which is all I asked for. so, that's why he says he has the right to claim him. When we went to see a mediator for child support he got upset because he wanted the meaditor to tell me that he wants an itemized list of every single thing I spend on our son with his money. He wants to make sure his money is not going to my haircare or me getting my nails done. I was like what hair, it's all fallen out thanks to you. The fact is he HATES me and will probably hate me for the rest of his life.

The last heated conversation he we had was inside of a crowded VERIZON store he told me he hopes that who every I'm F'in gives me AIDS and I die. Purely immature. I just walked out and my our son was right there. It was so embrassing.

I may have to cut my loses and walk away. I know I can take him to Court, but that entails getting another attorney and going to court and having the Judge appoint a trustee, I don't think I can finacially manage that...then the K-1 processing (I'm about to lose it again )...I'm really trying to remain FOCUS for myself and my son.

My fiancee offered me the funds to buy him out and he refused. So, he agreed to sell and we split the money. He did not want to do the buyout because he does not want another man living in his house. I tried to tell him, when I give him his money after the buyout he has no rights to the house...that it will only be titled in my name now and he lost his mind. Ahhhhhhhh what a stress.

JG -- thanks for looking out.

Lawny,

Stay strong and stay positive...don't become your own worst enemy. He has NO power over you, ne NEVER will have power over you, he will NOT break you and he will NOT succeed in tearing you down!!!

The other ladies have said things very well already so I will step off my platform and leave it at that. Just know that we are all here for you and you will survive this and move on and be stronger because of it.

MUCH LOVE

Thanks babes.

Lawny,

My ex pays some sorta court ordered child support...but I STILL file for both my sons. DO you have it in writing that he gets to file for him? If no, then I would file for my boy! Lawny, you may have to accept the fact that you may have to cut your losses and start new. Will he buy you out? Probably not. Lawny...this man is straight poison!!! For him to say such an evil horrible thing to the mother of his child is beyond immature.

I know it's crazy right now...but you're not! Contact your lawyer and find out specifically what your options are to do this without him. How are non-marital properties settled in your state? You definitely need a lawyer. Are you finding a way to exercise? I know it's a crazy question. But seriously Lawny, even if it's 20 minutes during lunch go out and walk!! Clear you head...think about your plan of action! Plus it's a good way of releasing pent-up stress...(I know another way too, but your Honey's in Lilliput )

Like Yardie said...YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE AS A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON!!! We are ALLLLLL rooting for you Chica! Now, root for YOURSELF!!! You are stronger than you think...trust me! I know a strong woman when I see one...and Sistren ...you are IRONMAN type strong!!

Love ya,

Gill

[Shemmy 4]

Lawny,

Stay strong and stay positive...don't become your own worst enemy. He has NO power over you, ne NEVER will have power over you, he will NOT break you and he will NOT succeed in tearing you down!!!

The other ladies have said things very well already so I will step off my platform and leave it at that. Just know that we are all here for you and you will survive this and move on and be stronger because of it.

MUCH LOVE

Ditto. You have given great advice...just letting you know we're here for you

[Jengles 0]

Who is paying the mortgage on the house now????

[*JG* 2]

I am afraid you are going to have to get a lawyer on both counts.

If he's on the mortgage, you can either sue him or let it go into forclosure and cut your losses. I would sue if it were me.

If he is paying child support regularly, even without a court ordered agreement, he does have some rights. I agree that you have the right to claim the child every single year at this time. But, given the other developments, it is just a matter of time before he wants to do every other or push for every for himself. You will have to go to court on that and hammer out an agreement.

It's sad that all this is going on around the child.

[Jengles 0]

right...Is it possibe for you to put a downpayment on another house now, and threaten to have this one go into foreclosure. If i had the other woman's number I would call her and ask her why her man don't want to let me go. and let her get in his a$$, cause we all know she is looking forward to some money.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Why does the buyer have to come back to sign? Did they not sign already? I've sold houses before where we came at different times, different days to sign the papers. All you need is his signature, right?

Your EX? Remind me....is he ex-husband or you were never married? If married, what does the divorce decree say? If not, is there a custody agreement? If not, does he pay you any kind of child support? If no to all of those, then, he's all yours to claim. If yes to any of those, there are other issues to consider.

I just had the IRS send me a letter stating my ex and myself claimed my kids on last year's tax returns. I sent them a copy of our divorce decree stating I get them on even numbered years and sent the first page of each of the last 5 tax returns to prove I've done just that. I then sent them a letter stating they needed to talk to him about this, not me.

I say if it is your right, claim your child and let the IRS deal with the ex.

JG-

Never married (thank GOD)...he (my ex) did not show up for closing and both of our names are on the paperwork. We own the house jointly. NO custody agreement.

It does not matter if he shows up at the same time as you or not. I sold my house with my ex. He signed when he could come in. I signed when I could. The buyers signed when they could......all 3 at different times. You immediate problem is getting him to sign. Being there when he does and they do is not the issue.

As far as a custody agreement....that is good news for you. IMPORTANT.....does he give you money on a regular basis for support of that child?

JG--

He justs FLAT refused to sign. They kept calling him (mind you this was 8:30 in the morning) we waited until 11am. The buyers are so nice and I was beyond embrassed. I just sat there and cried. I understand he does not have to be there (I preferred it that way), but he said he was on his way. He had no plans on ever showing up. Just another way to spite me. As far as custody (nothing is set in stone) but he does pay the childcare, which is all I asked for. so, that's why he says he has the right to claim him. When we went to see a mediator for child support he got upset because he wanted the meaditor to tell me that he wants an itemized list of every single thing I spend on our son with his money. He wants to make sure his money is not going to my haircare or me getting my nails done. I was like what hair, it's all fallen out thanks to you. The fact is he HATES me and will probably hate me for the rest of his life.

The last heated conversation he we had was inside of a crowded VERIZON store he told me he hopes that who every I'm F'in gives me AIDS and I die. Purely immature. I just walked out and my our son was right there. It was so embrassing.

I may have to cut my loses and walk away. I know I can take him to Court, but that entails getting another attorney and going to court and having the Judge appoint a trustee, I don't think I can finacially manage that...then the K-1 processing (I'm about to lose it again )...I'm really trying to remain FOCUS for myself and my son.

My fiancee offered me the funds to buy him out and he refused. So, he agreed to sell and we split the money. He did not want to do the buyout because he does not want another man living in his house. I tried to tell him, when I give him his money after the buyout he has no rights to the house...that it will only be titled in my name now and he lost his mind. Ahhhhhhhh what a stress.

JG -- thanks for looking out.

Lawny,

Stay strong and stay positive...don't become your own worst enemy. He has NO power over you, ne NEVER will have power over you, he will NOT break you and he will NOT succeed in tearing you down!!!

The other ladies have said things very well already so I will step off my platform and leave it at that. Just know that we are all here for you and you will survive this and move on and be stronger because of it.

MUCH LOVE

Thanks babes.

Lawny,

My ex pays some sorta court ordered child support...but I STILL file for both my sons. DO you have it in writing that he gets to file for him? If no, then I would file for my boy! Lawny, you may have to accept the fact that you may have to cut your losses and start new. Will he buy you out? Probably not. Lawny...this man is straight poison!!! For him to say such an evil horrible thing to the mother of his child is beyond immature.

I know it's crazy right now...but you're not! Contact your lawyer and find out specifically what your options are to do this without him. How are non-marital properties settled in your state? You definitely need a lawyer. Are you finding a way to exercise? I know it's a crazy question. But seriously Lawny, even if it's 20 minutes during lunch go out and walk!! Clear you head...think about your plan of action! Plus it's a good way of releasing pent-up stress...(I know another way too, but your Honey's in Lilliput )

Like Yardie said...YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE AS A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON!!! We are ALLLLLL rooting for you Chica! Now, root for YOURSELF!!! You are stronger than you think...trust me! I know a strong woman when I see one...and Sistren ...you are IRONMAN type strong!!

Love ya,

Gill

Nothing in writing (I'm not that crazy yet)....about child support. And we've offered to buy him out 3 times offering 6 times the amount of money he put in and he refused. non-marital properties in MD are 50/50...I do exercise I walk on the treadmill and do weights. I think that keeps me going for the most part...I wish Marcel (my fiance) was with me now. You want to LAUGH...Marcel know that. I didn't find that out until last month. Marcel's father lives across the street from where my ex use to live in Lilliput...what a STRESSSSSSS and girl yes, I'm needing (SOME) Lilliput right now. Thanks for everything.

Who is paying the mortgage on the house now????

I pay it. ........ and it's killing me.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

right...Is it possibe for you to put a downpayment on another house now, and threaten to have this one go into foreclosure. If i had the other woman's number I would call her and ask her why her man don't want to let me go. and let her get in his a$$, cause we all know she is looking forward to some money.

I have a contract on another house, but that's not set to close until the end or April early May. It's a short sale property and I could not pass it up. His other woman is a realtor and I think that's why he's given me such a hard time.

[*JG* 2]

I may be really heartless; but I have to say, if my fiance had 6 kids, I would've run the other way long LONG ago.

Your friend is a strong person, Tre!

[Jengles 0]

yup he's upset because he knows u will be doing ok without him and your man got money...can we get the closing moved up. tel them the buyer wants u out the house sooner than expected so they can do some work before they move in.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

yup he's upset because he knows u will be doing ok without him and your man got money...can we get the closing moved up. tel them the buyer wants u out the house sooner than expected so they can do some work before they move in.

Yes, I can move up the closing date, but my ex has to sign the paper work and he refuses. If I deal with the Courts that adds another 6 months or longer and $$$$$$$.

[Jengles 0]

yup he's upset because he knows u will be doing ok without him and your man got money...can we get the closing moved up. tel them the buyer wants u out the house sooner than expected so they can do some work before they move in.

Yes, I can move up the closing date, but my ex has to sign the paper work and he refuses. If I deal with the Courts that adds another 6 months or longer and $$$$$$$.

move up the closing date on your house and stop paying the mortgage on the old house. How long does it take to go into forclosure in your state. Let him see u mean it and will ruin his credit...tell him u all ready have your house so its ok, if your credit is ruined. (U don't want it to be) he'll call the bank to see if u made payment. keep the money in the bank to pay if neccassary (sp) Bluff it out.

[tnw 0]

when it hurts to look back and you're scared to look ahead, look beside you and (my NEW friends from YARDIE link on VJ) will be there.

Thanks again for the laughs, but most of all for the hugs and the support.

Guh, It's sad to say but this is my social life . I don't have much time fi much else. I'm starrtin to fill a bit wird coming to the computer to get my girlfriend time...nobody near me have nuttin in commin, They are all single, hevery body tink mi strange cause I'm married to an immigrant, who they assumes used mi to get here, and everybody jus hookin up and dats not mi style. Why do people tink it's strange to seh I can't do this or that cause my man is at home or I can't cause mi and my man are goin out Or assume I cannot hang out cause I'm one of those married people. I jus rather sit home by mi sef or wit my man. Mi and my hubby were talkin bout dis de odda deh, seh we have become eah oddahs best fren Cause em not go out eddah.

I feel 'ya. I don't hang out with my childhood friends for the same reasons. I met a group of nice women at gym...we usually go for out for drinks and go shopping once a month.

Damien and I spent all of our free time together so we need a break sometimes. We work the same hours, go to gym together, grocery shop, movies....I enjoy my "me" time.

There some really nice people on this thread. I met five of them in person so far and talked to many more on the phone. We have a strong support system...we have laughed, cried and supported each other over the years...it's nice.

Pretty soon, you'll know SIX!....Remember we're driving down to see u and Damien sometime this summer

[tnw 0]

I am afraid you are going to have to get a lawyer on both counts.

If he's on the mortgage, you can either sue him or let it go into forclosure and cut your losses. I would sue if it were me.

If he is paying child support regularly, even without a court ordered agreement, he does have some rights. I agree that you have the right to claim the child every single year at this time. But, given the other developments, it is just a matter of time before he wants to do every other or push for every for himself. You will have to go to court on that and hammer out an agreement.

It's sad that all this is going on around the child.

I agree J.G.

U might want to sue him so he can be held accountable for half of the debt your incurring by having to pay the full mortgage every month. J.G. is right....one of u has to pay it or it can be let go in foreclosure.

The bright side is it sounds like u already have another house for you and your son to move too so depending on how important it is to you to "keep" this first house....I would sue....see if that gets him in action and if not, I say cut my losses and move onto the new house when u can. It's a shame to take a loss on a debt like that all for some foolishness, but sometimes peace of mind is better salvation than good credit!!

[sj5 4]

all I can say.. just ignore ex-relationship.. just be nice for the sake of your children.. amen.