TBoneTX

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10 Famous Presidential Quotes If All Presidents Spoke Like Joe Biden [...] The Babylon Bee is here to provide the following glimpse at what it would have been like if other presidents spoke like Joe Biden: [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/10-famous-quotes-if-other-presidents-talked-like-joe-biden

L.A. Mayor's Podium Stolen During News Conference Touting Drop In Crime‬ LOS ANGELES, CA — In what some commentators are calling a political bug-a-boo, Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass's podium was stolen right out from under her during a press conference in which she was touting drops in the city's crime rates. "We have made significant progress in the city on homelessness and crime is — hey, where are you going with that!?" exclaimed Mayor Bass suddenly as her podium was whisked away by a member of the city's unhoused population. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/la-mayors-podium-stolen-during-news-conference-touting-drop-in-crime

10 Famous Liberals Explain Why They Oppose Free Speech While free speech boasts supporters such as Elon Musk and the Constitution, there are many Americans today who strongly disagree! The Babylon Bee asked ten famous liberals why they oppose free speech, and here is what they said:' • President Joe Biden: "If people had free speech, they could... you know, the thing. Pause. Well, anyway." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/10-famous-liberals-explain-why-they-oppose-free-speech

Read the last paragraph of this piece, which is brilliantly constructed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Columbia Switches To Online Classes So Jewish Students Can Participate From The Attics Where They Are Hiding NEW YORK, NY — In the wake of ongoing anti-Israel protests that have engulfed the school's campus, Columbia University announced it has switched to online classes so Jewish students can participate from the attics where they are hiding. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/columbia-switches-to-online-classes-so-jewish-students-can-participate-from-the-attics-where-they-are-hiding

Iran's Ayatollah Defends Jihadis, Gleefully Touts U.S. Pro-Hamas Protests The Supreme Leader of Iran's terror-sponsoring regime took to Twitter/X on Wednesday to defend Hamas terrorists, hurl false accusations at Israel, and celebrate the fact that useful American idiots align with his pro-jihad views. Students in New York and elsewhere around the country are waving Palestinian flags and chanting such Nazi-like slogans as "We are Hamas" and "kill all Zionists." Those are sentiments with which Ayatollah Khamenei, head of the Iranian Islamic Republic regime that oppresses its own people and sponsors terrorism abroad, is in full sympathy. [...] https://pjmedia.com/catherinesalgado/2024/04/24/irans-ayatollah-defends-jihadis-gleefully-touts-us-pro-hamas-protests-n4928479

Houston Child Abuse Case Uncovers Larger Issues No One Wants to Face A mother in Texas has pleaded guilty to severe abuse of her fourteen-year-old daughter, including choking, beating, and even burning. The case is horrifying enough in itself, but it uncovers even deeper issues that no one in American public life has yet shown any willingness to face. Eventually, however, these issues will become unavoidable and obvious to everyone. Click2Houston reported Tuesday that Sittarh Mazhar Khan, a Muslim woman in Kingwood, Texas, a section of Houston, "is accused of beating, choking, and burning her 14-year-old daughter in October of last year." At a hearing on her case, an officer explained that "the defendant, upset the complainant did not wear her hijab at school, beat and choked the complainant, causing her to lose consciousness." [...] https://pjmedia.com/robert-spencer/2024/04/24/houston-child-abuse-case-uncovers-larger-issues-no-one-wants-to-face-n4928493

It's still Wednesday in parts of the U.S., so here in greatest haste is our Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IS HYDRATION IMPORTANT? Two cannibals met in a mental institution. One was tearing out magazine pictures of men, women, and children, stuffing them into his mouth, and eating them. "Tell me," asked the other. Is that dehydrated stuff really that good?"

~~~~~~~~~~ Pro-Palestine Protester Has to Ask a Friend Why She's Protesting These two don't have their faces covered with kaffiyehs and they're not waving Palestinian flags (or burning American ones). They seem to be more "casual" protesters who decided to come out and support the thing everyone's supporting. We wonder if these two are students, because if they are, they weren't indoctrinated very well. [...] https://twitchy.com/brettt/2024/04/24/pro-palestine-protester-has-to-ask-a-friend-why-shes-protesting-n2395473

Oh, great! ~~~~~~~~~~ US Opening Refugee Intake Centers in Middle East The U.S. apparently has a refugee problem. There simply aren't enough refugees coming from unstable regimes in the Middle East, and the Biden administration aims to fix that problem. That's why it is opening two new refugee processing centers in the region. Diversity is our strength and all, and there aren't enough people screaming "DEATH TO AMERICA" in our cities. Without a steady and increasing stream of Islamists, we won't have enough violent hate crimes to blame on White supremacists. [...] https://hotair.com/david-strom/2024/04/24/us-opening-refugee-intake-centers-in-middle-east-n3787132

Backlash: Morehouse College Invites Biden to Deliver Commencement Address Morehouse College announced Monday that it has invited President Biden to deliver the commencement speech at the May 19 graduation ceremony. Backlash quickly ensued. [...] https://hotair.com/karen-townsend/2024/04/24/backlash-will-morehouse-college-invites-biden-to-deliver-commencement-address-n3787104

They'll put a yellow star of David on that, too...

In the NY Times, no less. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Thought the Bragg Case Against Trump Was a Legal Embarrassment. Now I Think It's a Historic Mistake. About a year ago, when Alvin Bragg, the Manhattan district attorney, indicted former President Donald Trump, I was critical of the case and called it an embarrassment. I thought an array of legal problems would and should lead to long delays in federal courts. [...] https://1ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F04%2F23%2Fopinion%2Fbragg-trump-trial.html

Scintillating Wednesday repartee, yawn man. ----- Thrilling Wednesday report, see man: Fond thoughts toward the soon-to-be-tonsillectomied Ontarklar, si man. Almost slept until alarm went off, what's up with this man. Ran errands, thrilling news man. Lunch was a sub sandwich from Walmart, ingest we man. A siesta thereafter was partially successful, partial-zzz we man. We are going to have to find a way to meet chicas, maybe this is the zzz problem man. The Rojo is going to make an offer on a casa, that's the big news man. Din-din was 2 ham sandwiches, indict them and ingest we man. Miu has demanded brushing Many (2+2) times so far today, demanding miu man. Party with the rubias anytime now, cavort we man. Thrilling day, yawn man.

Thread is moved from Off Topic to the CR-1 main forum.

Germany, 1930s. Makes 'em easier to harass and kill.

Fingers crossed on your behalf.

Columbia Protestors Clarify They Only Want Death To America After America Is Done Paying Their Student Loans NEW YORK, NY — As pro-Palestine groups continued to gather on campus following the establishment of the Gaza Solidarity Encampment, Columbia University protestors clarified that they only want "Death to America" after America is done paying their student loans for them. "Death to America… in like, 3 or 4 years when I graduate!" shouted one student protestor. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/columbia-protestors-clarify-they-only-want-death-to-america-after-america-is-done-paying-their-student-loans

~~~~~~~~ Winning: DeSantis Unveils Massive Circus Cannon That Will Launch Pro-Hamas Protestors All The Way To Gaza [...] "We can't sit by while our state is overrun with antisemites," Gov. DeSantis told reporters. "For this reason, I have authorized the use of a comically oversized circus cannon, you know the ones, to shoot all pro-Hamas protestors in Florida back over the Gaza. I mean, it's pretty basic governance, if you ask me." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/winning-desantis-unveils-massive-circus-cannon-that-will-launch-pro-hamas-protestors-all-the-way-to-gaza

Abraham Pretty Sure This Feud Between Ishmael And Isaac Will Blow Over Soon [...] The revered patriarch brushed off concerns about the ongoing conflict between his sons and said he was confident that this would only be a temporary squabble and would not linger into the future. "I don't think it will be a long-term thing," Abraham said of the friction. "They're half-brothers, and these types of family fights pop up from time to time. It's pretty common, I think. I mean, it's not like it's something that's going to be carried on by their descendants and remain an issue for thousands of years. That'd be ridiculous." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/abraham-pretty-sure-this-feud-between-ishmael-and-isaac-will-blow-over-soon

Columbia Admins Promise To Carefully Investigate Whether 'Let's Kill Every Jew We See On Campus' Chant Violates School's Conduct Policy [...] "I am deeply saddened by the attention these protests have drawn to our school," Columbia President Minouche Shafik said in a statement this week. "I wish our students could peacefully terrorize Jewish kids without the whole world coming down on them. But anyway, we're reviewing our speech policies to see if these totally normal 'Let's Kill Every Jew We See On Campus' chants violate school policies." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/columbia-admins-promise-to-carefully-investigate-whether-lets-kill-every-jew-we-see-on-campus-chant-violates-schools-speech-policy

DA Finally Reveals Underlying Crime Trump Allegedly Committed, and the Bidens Should be Nervous Prosecutors in Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg's office have finally revealed the underlying crime they allege Donald Trump was committing when he allegedly falsified business records. According to Fox News, "New York prosecutor Joshua Steinglass on Tuesday said the other crime was a violation of a New York law called 'conspiracy to promote or prevent election.'" [...] https://redstate.com/jenvanlaar/2024/04/24/da-finally-reveals-underlying-crime-trump-allegedly-committed-n2173225

Not the Babylon Bee. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Biden Baffled in Tampa: Confuses Woman With Man, Accidentally Tells Truth on Himself in Funny Gaffe [...] But then he tried to attack former President Donald Trump and made a truly funny gaffe, accidentally saying something right in his confusion. "In a sense I don't know why we're surprised by Trump, how many times does he have to prove we can't be trusted?" he said. [...] https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2024/04/23/biden-baffled-in-tampa-confuses-woman-with-man-makes-truly-funny-gaffe-about-trump-n2173205

Proof of collaboration between the Bidementia White House and NARA to concoct a case. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Julie Kelly Shares DAMNING Unredacted Evidence from Trump's Classified Docs Case If you want to know more about Trump's classified docs case, look no further than Julie Kelly's timeline. When she's not covering what Biden's DOJ is doing to J6'rs she's busy exposing the ridiculousness of Jack Smith's case. And now that key evidence in that case has been unredacted, Kelly has even more to share. [...] https://twitchy.com/samj/2024/04/23/julie-kelly-mar-a-lago-docs-n2395409

Surprise, surprise... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Anti-Trump Media Lawyers Hold Weekly Zoom Call to Discuss Trial Remember JournoList, the private Google Groups forum created by Ezra Kein and consisting of some 400 "left-leaning" journalists and academics. This is how all of the mainstream journalists formulated their talking points and expressed their violent fantasies about right-wingers like Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh. Politico reports that media legal correspondents have their own version of JournoList now. Once a week, these pundits get together over Zoom to coordinate talking points about the Donald Trump trial. [...] https://twitchy.com/brettt/2024/04/23/anti-trump-media-lawyers-hold-weekly-zoom-call-to-discuss-trial-n2395437

Agreed. Comments? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trump Should Ignore Gag Order [...] The idea that Trump spouting off about the trial or any of the witnesses is intimidation is absurd, and everybody knows it. If a witness is likely to be concerned about retaliation--none of them are, because they are rushing to testify--they wouldn't have agreed to testify against a former president. They are all angling to peddle books, not quivering in fear. [...] https://hotair.com/david-strom/2024/04/23/trump-should-ignore-gag-order-n3787054