I admittedly married my wife, because she was living through hell with her ex-boyfriend, and I liked her, and wanted to help out a woman I liked. We're still in lots of danger right now, which is the reason I decided to go the Direct Consular Filing route.
If it wasn't for me, my wife would have been in jail for not having the economic resources to respond to her ex's bogus legal demands. Everyone says that we engaged and got married too quickly. And they're right. I realize that it probably would have been better to just let her continue to suffer and go to jail. I wasted so much time and money in Peru, and now this woman is proving herself to be completely ungrateful. She has a full time job, but she spends her money on superficial stuff, and yet I'm still paying for her food and rent. I've just about had it. I bought her a bunch of clothes, then I realized I needed to stop spending so much money on her. She saw a good deal on a couple pairs of pants and begged me to buy them for her, saying that, in return, she would prepare homemade vegetable juice for me every day with the extractor. So I agreed. Oops.
Well she hasn't been holding up her end of the bargain, and she has a really nasty attitude that I keep having to correct with direct speech, telling her not to disrespect me. Yesterday she was being lazy in the morning so I had to be the one to prepare the vegetable juice. When she finally came into the kitchen the first thing she did was complain to me, saying that I made too much juice and used too many vegetables. Talk about ungrateful! Even when I was helping her with her legal issues, she would still throw nasty temper tantrums, and now as I'm helping her with her Direct Consular Filing process (she basically does nothing) she still complains about every little thing. Like when I tell her to go get her police records, because we're leaving town in a couple days, and we don't have much time, she just wants to argue. Every little thing I tell her she just wants to argue about. Every day before she goes to work she gets all stressed and starts complaining about ANY and EVERY little thing. She tells me she's sorry every once in a while and wants to hug me, but I'm really at the point now, where it has started affecting me to where I no longer feel happy that I met her at all. She has successfully extinguished my love. I'm burnt out.
I don't have a history of being a violent person, but today when I heard her moaning and groaning about how the kitchen wasn't totally clean, I decided I had to leave. It's about the third day in a row that she throws a temper tantrum over something insignificant. She does not know how to communicate assertively, and when I try to explain things to her in a level-headed way, she just wants to test my patience and argue about whatever I'm saying. So, as I heard her whining and complaining in the kitchen this morning, I left the house, and didn't come back until she was already at work. It was all I could do to keep from harming her physically. I then went and threw rocks at a tree for an hour while shouting insults and swear words in English, just to calm down.
Well my dad still hasn't signed the I-864 and sent it as the joint sponsor. I'm thinking about just destroying the document when it arrives via DHL. Unfortunately, I fear that my wife will just get to the USA and become a public charge, and then my Dad will be in the horrible position of having to repay the US government for a mistake that I made. I feel very torn, because I just got done justifying to my parents why they should be the joint sponsor for the "love of my life."
When we went to a psychologist in June, the psychologist diagnosed my wife with Severe Depression and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, because her parents divorced when she was 8 and neither really took good care of her. Her father used to punish her with the belt. And then she met her exboyfriend who on occasion beat her, raped her and threatened her. She has bad insomnia, and she's always complaining about something (either her insomnia, her eyes that dry out and get red too easily, her hair, her acne, her skin discoloration from solar exposure, her belly fat). she just seems so discontented about everything, and the only time she ever says thank you for all the favors I do for her, is when I tell her. She always criticizes me for any arbitrary thing I do. Even when I tell her to act appropriately and be grateful for the favors I'm doing for her, she criticizes me for "rubbing it in." Uggghhh....I was blinded by love and paid the price dearly. What a basket case.
Just for the record, I too was diagnosed with Depression, but I've at least sought out treatment and have pretty much gotten things under control with the help of my medication. My wife, on the other hand, would rather spend her money (and my money) on shoes and beauty creams. It's totally unacceptable. I went home to the USA for three weeks in the summer, and I left her a note telling her to please continue her therapy with the psychologist who diagnosed her. I left her enough money in the envelope for three sessions, and indicated this in my note. Yet when I returned to Peru she said that she only went to one appointment, and started criticizing therapy. She spent the rest of the money on clothes she didn't need.
At this point, I'm just about ready to cut my losses, and go back to how my life was before I travelled to Peru. If she doesn't go see a psychiatrist very soon and get on some heavy heavy medication to calm her down, then there is absolutely no way I'm going to tolerate this marriage.