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Successful withdrawal of Affidavit of Support

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Would be interesting to hear the wives's side of the story. My ex USC wife portrayed me as the most meanest, evilest, selfish, cruel, abusive, dirtiest man ever in the history of all mankind. But I had my side of the story as well, and somehow managed to gain full physical custody of our three children in a court of law after our kids underwent extensive background checking, professional counseling, and interrogation by court appointed attorneys.

Always two sides to every story, only reading one here.

NickD,

Yes. There are always two sides of the story. And I heard her side of the story from a couple of mutual friends, and from documents she left on my computer. They all said the same thing. She made me out to be a monster. She said I was abusing her mentally, treating her like a criminal in prison, and that our "relationship" was deteriorating. I was sad and very hurt to hear the accusations, especially when they were totally fabricated lies.

I treated her like a queen. She had anything and everything she ever asked for - a vacation/honeymoon in Cyprus (when I pleaded with her that it was financially irresponsible to do so before she came to America. She bought clothes that she wouldn't even wear. She claimed that she needed them to get a job. However, she couldn't get a job because her English was still at a very beginner level and she had no experience that they wanted. They told her to improve her English and get a job at WalMart or something like that first, just to get U.S. experience for her resume.

You should have seen our pantry of food! She had over $500 worth of junk food (chips, chocolate, etc.) that she claimed was "necessary for life". I threw it all away last month as it was all old, expired, and inedible. During our marriage, when I questioned her about the junk food, she accused me of controlling her and everything she did. Even one of her Russian friends here in America pleaded with her to stop her behavior!

NickD, I understand you've been hurt also. I understand it's not always the USC who is hurt. And I'm sorry your experience has jaded your view.

Yes. I have only one side of the story. I wish you could talk to our mutual friends to get the other side of the story. And then see all the physical evidence that shows that she's been abusive physically and mentally, and lied to me all this time. Maybe then you wouldn't be cynical about what I've shared.

Also, good luck to you.

2005-08-10: Met Natalia and fell in love. Too bad she didn't.

2006-01-13: Married. Biggest mistake of my life.

2006-03-07: Began the I-130/I-129F process.

2006-11-01: POE - JFK / Home in Austin!

2006-11-15: She hits me and continues pattern of abuse.

2006-11-16: I filed for divorce.

2006-11-17: Wife is served divorce papers; she and daughter return to Russia.

2007-12-08: She returns to Russia "for the holidays" (lied to lawyers and court).

[many more ups and downs during this time period - mostly downs]

2008-03-26: File for bankruptcy.

2008-07-30: Bankruptcy finalized.

2008-08-27: Divorce final. Started piecing my life back together.

(See my timeline for details.)

Disclaimer: I'm just a guy who married for love, but she didn't! All she wants is money and a green card.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Wow, the results of your story are amazingly bad, I wouldn't think even in a typical marriage fraud situation that outright stealing would take place like that, no matter how poorly the fraud is disguised...

I've spent a fair amount of time researching how credit works in america, and while a bankruptcy is a pretty big flag, it's rarely that debilitating IF you re-establish some credit right away. After about 3 months you are likely to start receiving specialized credit offers specifically because you had a bankruptcy, credit companies want your business because they know it should be pretty easy to get, and because they also know you can't get it discharged in a bankruptcy any time soon. I'm not sure how your credit affects your job but if it's a matter of having good or bad credit score, then that shouldn't follow you for long if you work to improve it. If it's the fact there is a bankruptcy there, then I believe you can place some kind of 'flag' on your credit report and it can say whatever you want, but it may be somewhat space limitted, if you are worried you will be looked upon poorly as a result of having a bankruptcy there, it'd probably be a good idea to provide some details as to why. The law that pretty much forced you into bankruptcy is probably well known for doing so in your state and may be all you have to really say to explain the bankruptcy.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Japan
Timeline

Austin,

I'm so sorry to hear things like that happened to you.

It must be so hard. I can't even imagine.

I know it's not my business, or yours anymore, but the woman sounds like she has some serious mental issues.

Maybe she grow up in not so peaceful environment that turned her into that person.

I kinda feel bad for her. she needs good psychiatrist to treat her condition.

Oh i know you are just kidding, but don't drink too much.

I don't want you to turn into alcoholic cause you deserve better.

wish you the best,

nat

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Wow, the results of your story are amazingly bad, I wouldn't think even in a typical marriage fraud situation that outright stealing would take place like that, no matter how poorly the fraud is disguised...

I've spent a fair amount of time researching how credit works in america, and while a bankruptcy is a pretty big flag, it's rarely that debilitating IF you re-establish some credit right away. After about 3 months you are likely to start receiving specialized credit offers specifically because you had a bankruptcy, credit companies want your business because they know it should be pretty easy to get, and because they also know you can't get it discharged in a bankruptcy any time soon. I'm not sure how your credit affects your job but if it's a matter of having good or bad credit score, then that shouldn't follow you for long if you work to improve it. If it's the fact there is a bankruptcy there, then I believe you can place some kind of 'flag' on your credit report and it can say whatever you want, but it may be somewhat space limitted, if you are worried you will be looked upon poorly as a result of having a bankruptcy there, it'd probably be a good idea to provide some details as to why. The law that pretty much forced you into bankruptcy is probably well known for doing so in your state and may be all you have to really say to explain the bankruptcy.

You're right about re-establishing credit. I've already started receiving offers from credit companies. The problem is that they all have exhorbitant fees and monthly charges for the privilege of having an account with them. They're all a limit of $250, with $200 of fees for the year. I refuse to be screwed over like that. My plan is to take $1000 and put it in a savings account, and take a loan out for $1000 - using the savings account as collateral. That should guarantee me the best possible rate, and get the credit reporting going again.

Fortunately, my previously great credit has several excellent accounts that all say "Never late" and has already raised my credit score into the 600s. low My previous score was 780. After the bankruptcy it dropped to 530, and I was shocked that it was so high.

It's not the credit score that worries me. As I mentioned October 11th, it's how it affects my employment. We're currently going through background checks at the office. This first round of checks isn't including credit, but the next round is threatening it. I may be forced into a significantly lower paying, undesirable job.

Yes, I can place a statement on my credit report. Yes, it's very limited in what can be placed. I already have. But the statement doesn't change the fact that I have a derogatory public record on my report. It's not the score that cause problems, but the fact that it happened - regardless of the reason.

2005-08-10: Met Natalia and fell in love. Too bad she didn't.

2006-01-13: Married. Biggest mistake of my life.

2006-03-07: Began the I-130/I-129F process.

2006-11-01: POE - JFK / Home in Austin!

2006-11-15: She hits me and continues pattern of abuse.

2006-11-16: I filed for divorce.

2006-11-17: Wife is served divorce papers; she and daughter return to Russia.

2007-12-08: She returns to Russia "for the holidays" (lied to lawyers and court).

[many more ups and downs during this time period - mostly downs]

2008-03-26: File for bankruptcy.

2008-07-30: Bankruptcy finalized.

2008-08-27: Divorce final. Started piecing my life back together.

(See my timeline for details.)

Disclaimer: I'm just a guy who married for love, but she didn't! All she wants is money and a green card.

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Austin,

I'm so sorry to hear things like that happened to you.

It must be so hard. I can't even imagine.

Thanks. It has been difficult. I knew the possibility of a scam was possible before I married this woman. But with the background I had on her, I thought it was not very likely. Her best friend married my colleague at work and she really thought my wife would be true to me.

I know it's not my business, or yours anymore, but the woman sounds like she has some serious mental issues.

Maybe she grow up in not so peaceful environment that turned her into that person.

I kinda feel bad for her. she needs good psychiatrist to treat her condition.

I think you're right. My colleague thought she might be bipolar (his son is and he has considerable experience with symptoms and treatment). She told me stories about how she didn't get along with her parents, that she was adopted by her dad, and they beat her. I almost believe her about some of it, but there is too much evidence that proves that most of it is fabricated lies, told to gain sympathy from whomever she is scamming. During our separation, she was telling another suitor in another country that I was not supporting her or giving her money (total lie as I was paying all her expenses AND force to pay her cash every week). He felt sorry for her and wired her over $1500 cash. Then, she had the audacity to tell him that it wasn't enough and she asked him for more. Additionally, about her parents... She always said they were so evil, yet she always went back to them, bought them gifts, and wanted to send them money. Personally, I find it hard to believe that someone would be that friendly to someone who treated her so badly.

One of the most amazing things was that she would repeatedly tell me that *I* was sick and needed a doctor. I suggested we see a marriage counselor, but she refused, saying that she didn't want others to know of our problems. Yet, she would tell everything to strangers on the airplanes (during all her extravagant traveling).

Oh i know you are just kidding, but don't drink too much.

I don't want you to turn into alcoholic cause you deserve better.

Thanks. Yes, I'm just kidding about drinking. I enjoy a beer once in a while, but never to excess. I know I'm not old yet, but I'm very hesitant about finding someone new. That's one of the worst feelings. I don't know who I can trust any more.

At this point, I believe a prenuptial agreement would have helped reduce the possibility of scamming. If they know that get nothing from the beginning, maybe they'll just walk away. I know... wishful thinking.

wish you the best,

nat

Thank you, very much! I appreciate it.

2005-08-10: Met Natalia and fell in love. Too bad she didn't.

2006-01-13: Married. Biggest mistake of my life.

2006-03-07: Began the I-130/I-129F process.

2006-11-01: POE - JFK / Home in Austin!

2006-11-15: She hits me and continues pattern of abuse.

2006-11-16: I filed for divorce.

2006-11-17: Wife is served divorce papers; she and daughter return to Russia.

2007-12-08: She returns to Russia "for the holidays" (lied to lawyers and court).

[many more ups and downs during this time period - mostly downs]

2008-03-26: File for bankruptcy.

2008-07-30: Bankruptcy finalized.

2008-08-27: Divorce final. Started piecing my life back together.

(See my timeline for details.)

Disclaimer: I'm just a guy who married for love, but she didn't! All she wants is money and a green card.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

If you are willing to marry someone, you are probably willing to be talked out of that prenup to show that you care, it might not be much help with a future scammer.

Secured credit cards suck, you might be able to apply for store credit somewhere, but if you still have pre-existing credit cards that are not cancelled, then it doesn't really matter, applying for new credit would be unnecessary. Negative things on your credit report count less over time, unfortunately if they are looking at the individual items like a bankruptcy the age won't matter until it's old enough to drop off.

Seeking approval from people who treat you like ####### is pretty much par for the coarse, especially in women. A man could be beating his wife to death, and if someone interfered, it's entirely too common that the person who interfered finds themselves getting jumped from behind by the wife. It's stupid as hell, but if it wasn't so stupid we wouldn't call people crazy for doing stuff like that.

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Wow, the results of your story are amazingly bad, I wouldn't think even in a typical marriage fraud situation that outright stealing would take place like that, no matter how poorly the fraud is disguised...

I've spent a fair amount of time researching how credit works in america, and while a bankruptcy is a pretty big flag, it's rarely that debilitating IF you re-establish some credit right away. After about 3 months you are likely to start receiving specialized credit offers specifically because you had a bankruptcy, credit companies want your business because they know it should be pretty easy to get, and because they also know you can't get it discharged in a bankruptcy any time soon. I'm not sure how your credit affects your job but if it's a matter of having good or bad credit score, then that shouldn't follow you for long if you work to improve it. If it's the fact there is a bankruptcy there, then I believe you can place some kind of 'flag' on your credit report and it can say whatever you want, but it may be somewhat space limitted, if you are worried you will be looked upon poorly as a result of having a bankruptcy there, it'd probably be a good idea to provide some details as to why. The law that pretty much forced you into bankruptcy is probably well known for doing so in your state and may be all you have to really say to explain the bankruptcy.

You're right about re-establishing credit. I've already started receiving offers from credit companies. The problem is that they all have exhorbitant fees and monthly charges for the privilege of having an account with them. They're all a limit of $250, with $200 of fees for the year. I refuse to be screwed over like that. My plan is to take $1000 and put it in a savings account, and take a loan out for $1000 - using the savings account as collateral. That should guarantee me the best possible rate, and get the credit reporting going again.

Fortunately, my previously great credit has several excellent accounts that all say "Never late" and has already raised my credit score into the 600s. low My previous score was 780. After the bankruptcy it dropped to 530, and I was shocked that it was so high.

It's not the credit score that worries me. As I mentioned October 11th, it's how it affects my employment. We're currently going through background checks at the office. This first round of checks isn't including credit, but the next round is threatening it. I may be forced into a significantly lower paying, undesirable job.

Yes, I can place a statement on my credit report. Yes, it's very limited in what can be placed. I already have. But the statement doesn't change the fact that I have a derogatory public record on my report. It's not the score that cause problems, but the fact that it happened - regardless of the reason.

Is this credit check for a security clearance? If so, and on the assumption that your experience is like that of a friend of mine, you will have a chance to explain and provide more information. That's on the assumption that it comes up at all -- they worry about credit because they worry about a risk of fraud or bribery -- but your credit is already borderline good and the bankruptcy already done with as a one-time event. (A spy offering you money wouldn't make the bankruptcy go away, in other words.)

AOS

-

Filed: 8/1/07

NOA1:9/7/07

Biometrics: 9/28/07

EAD/AP: 10/17/07

EAD card ordered again (who knows, maybe we got the two-fer deal): 10/23/-7

Transferred to CSC: 10/26/07

Approved: 11/21/07

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Japan
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Austin,

I am a firm believer of "what goes around comes around" and "things happens for a reason."

Needless to say on the first one, for the second one, i can think of...

1. you realized that you are surrounded by good friends and family

2. you learned the lesson and got smart about marriage law

3. when you find the one next time, she will be there for you, not for your american $, assuming that she knows about the bankruptcy

4. you actually helped her family backhome financially through her..remember what goes around comes around. you did a good thing.

5. maybe you can write a book or be in a documentary and make some money?

Just think positive, and I bet the love of your life is just around the corner:)

nat

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Austin,

[...]

5. maybe you can write a book or be in a documentary and make some money?

You wouldn't believe how many of my friends have recommended exactly that!

Just think positive, and I bet the love of your life is just around the corner:)

I'm just not holding my breath on that one! LOL! :whistle:

Thanks!

2005-08-10: Met Natalia and fell in love. Too bad she didn't.

2006-01-13: Married. Biggest mistake of my life.

2006-03-07: Began the I-130/I-129F process.

2006-11-01: POE - JFK / Home in Austin!

2006-11-15: She hits me and continues pattern of abuse.

2006-11-16: I filed for divorce.

2006-11-17: Wife is served divorce papers; she and daughter return to Russia.

2007-12-08: She returns to Russia "for the holidays" (lied to lawyers and court).

[many more ups and downs during this time period - mostly downs]

2008-03-26: File for bankruptcy.

2008-07-30: Bankruptcy finalized.

2008-08-27: Divorce final. Started piecing my life back together.

(See my timeline for details.)

Disclaimer: I'm just a guy who married for love, but she didn't! All she wants is money and a green card.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Colombia
Timeline
I very much appreciate the prayers and support. More than ANYONE IN THE STATES, we here can relate to the frustration, the effort, the cost (monetary, emotional, innumerably), the anxiety, the pressure, the struggle, the time...so I do appreciate the sentiments.

It's just so...damned...hard to let go after all I'd been through to make this happen. And the immigration process is only a tip of the iceburg! Each trip (15 in all the time we were together) was at least $3,000 (just for flights, accommodations, transportation...basics...plus the things I'd bring to help out)...the time away from my work let a huge snowball wither and melt away to the point I'm starting all over...I sacrificed friends and even family as I pursued the relationship with a fierce determination to make it work...and I ended up quite frustrated in what was really a one-way highway. Rather than work on it and be a participant in the relationship, and with absolutely no regard for what was done to make this happen, she walked! I'm still amazed at the courage and the, well, let's see, in yiddush, there's a word for audacity that is, "chutzpah" or guts or "cojones" she had to do this... I'm amazed that ANYONE had the capacity to be that hardened.

I look at the circumstances of her life and see some emotional scars from her youth that put up huge walls between her and the world, and it's just a shame. Someone said I should never feel sorry for a Cuban because their pride is so intense and is so often to their detriment that they always survive and never look back. That's just cold. Plain and simple. Yet, I'm the one suffering this loss, but I feel sorry for her.

It's tough to move on after such intense dedication and struggle...after you put your heart and soul out there without reserve and to have it end abruptly.

On the good side...it's probably the blessing in disguise. There are reasons that it was a longshot, that's for sure. The problem is, I wish that I could speak with her so I could be complete and so that she could be complete, too. When you just walk, no matter how fast you go, or how deeply you try to hide, these things follow you around and eventually govern your future.

Was this her intention all along? Either she is a darn good actor and should get an Academy Award for her performance, or there was holes in the script that emotions clouded during the relationship. Or some unseen circumstance entered later that altered the plot. There is a reason and this can happen to any married couple explaining a high divorce rate.

Like any vacation trip, all you are left with are memories and maybe some photos, and that money you paid for it is definitely gone, so no use in thinking about that, were those trips enjoyable at the time?

Did you find yourself pushing this relationship? Was dating a woman before meeting my wife and discovered I was doing that myself, but after careful thought, there were contradictions with this woman. Neither my wife or I pushed our relationship, it just happened, still can go sour, but if it does, can look back as the the six happiest years in my life. That, no one can take away.

Ah, life, good times and bad times.

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Mexico
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tito,

What a ganso/naco/bad, you were by doing what you did. Remember that everything you do bad in this life, you will pay it back later on. Hopefully you can pay it so hard that you will be wishing you should have acted in a different way. For sure you are from rednecklandia...

Take Care

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Just think positive, and I bet the love of your life is just around the corner:)

Looks like she found the next love of her life! I just found out she remarried already :dance: , after waiting the minimum 30 days after divorce (in Texas).

I do not know if she filed the Waiver for removal of conditions (her 2-year conditional green card expires April 24, 2009) prior to marrying this new guy. I understand she's "out of status" after the divorce and until filing for the Waiver.

Does anyone know what remarrying so quickly might do to her immigration status and/or waiver? I'm sorry I haven't scoured the site yet to see if there's other related postings.

Quite interesting... Just one week before the final divorce hearing, she was trying to reconcile with me to get back together - while she was "in congress" with her new boyfriend. She was trying to secure alternate arrangements in case her boyfriend weaseled out on her, I guess. Wow! Just reinforces that I made the right decision. :wacko:

2005-08-10: Met Natalia and fell in love. Too bad she didn't.

2006-01-13: Married. Biggest mistake of my life.

2006-03-07: Began the I-130/I-129F process.

2006-11-01: POE - JFK / Home in Austin!

2006-11-15: She hits me and continues pattern of abuse.

2006-11-16: I filed for divorce.

2006-11-17: Wife is served divorce papers; she and daughter return to Russia.

2007-12-08: She returns to Russia "for the holidays" (lied to lawyers and court).

[many more ups and downs during this time period - mostly downs]

2008-03-26: File for bankruptcy.

2008-07-30: Bankruptcy finalized.

2008-08-27: Divorce final. Started piecing my life back together.

(See my timeline for details.)

Disclaimer: I'm just a guy who married for love, but she didn't! All she wants is money and a green card.

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Things didn't work out, and it's a real shame, but sometimes pride...intense and foolish...has consequences.

Under the regulations, I withdrew the affidavit of support, and the adjustment of status was denied (no green card). I believe that deportation proceedings are now underway. In defense, the immigrant (from Cuba) has dispensation and can try to get her green card another way, but it's no longer my problem.

Anyway...moral of the story is, you CAN withdraw the affidavit of support any time until the green card is issued. Again...it's a true shame after all that was done to make this relationship work, and it's just time to move on...heal the wounds...

so sorry that love which once seemed to sweet suddenly turned so sour.... i wish there truely was a way to know except follow the heart.

Time, emotions, efforts, money all wasted.

But luckily.... you still have you... and then us here in vj...

Hope you get up soon enough, you just fell.... was only a slip.

Bruises heal!

K-1 TIMELINE

I-129F Sent :2007-09-06

I-129F NOA1 : 2007-09-10

I-129F RFE(s) :2007-09-30

Visa Approved :2008-01-07

Consulate Received : 2008-01-14

Interview Date : 2008-06-02

Visa Received : 2008-06-12

US Entry : 2008-06-26

Marriage : 2008-08-02

Total days from filling 1-129F till Interview 270days

AOS TIMELINE

Sept 12, 2008- Sent AOS/EAD/AP to Chicago (finally)

Sept 15, 2008- Delivered

Sept 18, 2008- Noas AOS/EAD/AP (yaay!!)

Oct 7th 2008- Case transferred to CSC

Oct 15, 2008- Biometric APPT (smooth and quick)

Oct 16, 2008- Case pending ......

Update....

EAD Card production ordered ........ 12/03/2008

Ap approved...approval notice sent 12/03/2008

Ap arrives in mail... dated ..............12/12/2008

EAD approval mail sent ..................12/11/2008

EAD arrives in mail ........................12/15/2008

AOS Touched .................................01/12/2009

AOS card production ordered...........02/27/2009

ROC TIMELINE 2011.

Jan 1st 2011 mailed in I751

Feb 15th 2011 Biometric appointment

May 24th 2011 Petition Approved

May 25th 2011 Card production ordered

May 31st 2011 Card recieved

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  • 1 year later...
Filed: Timeline

What are some of the symptoms of failed relationship ? When do you start notice the other party are 'revealing' her/his true self ?

Is regular fighitng, arguing a sign of fail relationship ?

How can one determine he or she has married the 'right one' ?

How both party be more 'tolerant' about the other ? or should they be more outspoken and clear things up-front ?

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  • 2 years later...

Could you please list all the steps you took to withdraw your support? what type of letter? how did you post it? what office did you send it to?

Did you get any confirmation as to when they recieved your letter?

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