Successful withdrawal of Affidavit of Support

[Asante Maroon 0]

I very much appreciate the prayers and support. More than ANYONE IN THE STATES, we here can relate to the frustration, the effort, the cost (monetary, emotional, innumerably), the anxiety, the pressure, the struggle, the time...so I do appreciate the sentiments.

It's just so...damned...hard to let go after all I'd been through to make this happen. And the immigration process is only a tip of the iceburg! Each trip (15 in all the time we were together) was at least $3,000 (just for flights, accommodations, transportation...basics...plus the things I'd bring to help out)...the time away from my work let a huge snowball wither and melt away to the point I'm starting all over...I sacrificed friends and even family as I pursued the relationship with a fierce determination to make it work...and I ended up quite frustrated in what was really a one-way highway. Rather than work on it and be a participant in the relationship, and with absolutely no regard for what was done to make this happen, she walked! I'm still amazed at the courage and the, well, let's see, in yiddush, there's a word for audacity that is, "chutzpah" or guts or "cojones" she had to do this... I'm amazed that ANYONE had the capacity to be that hardened.

I look at the circumstances of her life and see some emotional scars from her youth that put up huge walls between her and the world, and it's just a shame. Someone said I should never feel sorry for a Cuban because their pride is so intense and is so often to their detriment that they always survive and never look back. That's just cold. Plain and simple. Yet, I'm the one suffering this loss, but I feel sorry for her.

It's tough to move on after such intense dedication and struggle...after you put your heart and soul out there without reserve and to have it end abruptly.

On the good side...it's probably the blessing in disguise. There are reasons that it was a longshot, that's for sure. The problem is, I wish that I could speak with her so I could be complete and so that she could be complete, too. When you just walk, no matter how fast you go, or how deeply you try to hide, these things follow you around and eventually govern your future.

Wow. Once again my prayers are with you and also that she finds some peace within herself so that she is able to face hardships instead of walking away. Good luck to you.

[Jasman0717 8]

Sorry to hear things didn't work but glad you got your situation straightened out

[Austin_Volgograd 0]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss and ordeal. I know how it feels to lose someone. I only lost my love in a little different way. She was greedy for money and a green card, and our relationship didn't work. I ended up filing for divorce.

Anyway...moral of the story is, you CAN withdraw the affidavit of support any time until the green card is issued. Again...it's a true shame after all that was done to make this relationship work, and it's just time to move on...heal the wounds...

I just wish there was a way to withdraw after the conditional green card was issued and before conditions were removed. I know the waivers and everything are to help protect immigrants... but who's here to protect U.S. Citizens? I've been forced into bankruptcy, will likely lose my house, and she gets a "free" green card! In the meantime, she's jet-setting all over the place... to California and Lake Tahoe for her birthday, and jetting to Russia TWICE in the past 10 weeks! And guess who gets to foot the bill!

[zqt3344 21]

Sorry you are having such a bad run of luck, but curious? Why would you have to file for bankruptcy? or continue to bankroll her spending sprees? What happened?

I'm sorry to hear of your loss and ordeal. I know how it feels to lose someone. I only lost my love in a little different way. She was greedy for money and a green card, and our relationship didn't work. I ended up filing for divorce.

Anyway...moral of the story is, you CAN withdraw the affidavit of support any time until the green card is issued. Again...it's a true shame after all that was done to make this relationship work, and it's just time to move on...heal the wounds...

I just wish there was a way to withdraw after the conditional green card was issued and before conditions were removed. I know the waivers and everything are to help protect immigrants... but who's here to protect U.S. Citizens? I've been forced into bankruptcy, will likely lose my house, and she gets a "free" green card! In the meantime, she's jet-setting all over the place... to California and Lake Tahoe for her birthday, and jetting to Russia TWICE in the past 10 weeks! And guess who gets to foot the bill!

[Austin_Volgograd 0]

Sorry you are having such a bad run of luck, but curious? Why would you have to file for bankruptcy? or continue to bankroll her spending sprees? What happened?

I'm sorry to hear of your loss and ordeal. I know how it feels to lose someone. I only lost my love in a little different way. She was greedy for money and a green card, and our relationship didn't work. I ended up filing for divorce.

Anyway...moral of the story is, you CAN withdraw the affidavit of support any time until the green card is issued. Again...it's a true shame after all that was done to make this relationship work, and it's just time to move on...heal the wounds...

I just wish there was a way to withdraw after the conditional green card was issued and before conditions were removed. I know the waivers and everything are to help protect immigrants... but who's here to protect U.S. Citizens? I've been forced into bankruptcy, will likely lose my house, and she gets a "free" green card! In the meantime, she's jet-setting all over the place... to California and Lake Tahoe for her birthday, and jetting to Russia TWICE in the past 10 weeks! And guess who gets to foot the bill!

I saw your reply in another topic, but I'll fill in folks here. Temporary orders force me to support another residence while paying for HER to say in MY house (separate property in Texas). I have to pay for all her utilities (electric, water, sewer, home phone, cell phone, and calling card to call Russia also) and luxuries (satellite TV, high-speed Internet, etc.). The *wonderful* Travis County standing orders in divorce cases prevents me from canceling any of the services (yes, even luxury services). And since I have to pay her monetary support (about $500 cash each month), I can't afford to pay the credit cards any more. Thus, BANKRUPTCY!

And to think... Before I met this evil woman, I was down to only about $5,000 in credit card debt that I was paying off in less than a year. Today, I would have been debt free (except for my mortgage). By the way, her total benefit of spousal support while she's here is about $2,600 each month, that *I* pay for.

[zqt3344 21]

Sorry you are having such a bad run of luck, but curious? Why would you have to file for bankruptcy? or continue to bankroll her spending sprees? What happened?

I'm sorry to hear of your loss and ordeal. I know how it feels to lose someone. I only lost my love in a little different way. She was greedy for money and a green card, and our relationship didn't work. I ended up filing for divorce.

Anyway...moral of the story is, you CAN withdraw the affidavit of support any time until the green card is issued. Again...it's a true shame after all that was done to make this relationship work, and it's just time to move on...heal the wounds...

I just wish there was a way to withdraw after the conditional green card was issued and before conditions were removed. I know the waivers and everything are to help protect immigrants... but who's here to protect U.S. Citizens? I've been forced into bankruptcy, will likely lose my house, and she gets a "free" green card! In the meantime, she's jet-setting all over the place... to California and Lake Tahoe for her birthday, and jetting to Russia TWICE in the past 10 weeks! And guess who gets to foot the bill!

I saw your reply in another topic, but I'll fill in folks here. Temporary orders force me to support another residence while paying for HER to say in MY house (separate property in Texas). I have to pay for all her utilities (electric, water, sewer, home phone, cell phone, and calling card to call Russia also) and luxuries (satellite TV, high-speed Internet, etc.). The *wonderful* Travis County standing orders in divorce cases prevents me from canceling any of the services (yes, even luxury services). And since I have to pay her monetary support (about $500 cash each month), I can't afford to pay the credit cards any more. Thus, BANKRUPTCY!

And to think... Before I met this evil woman, I was down to only about $5,000 in credit card debt that I was paying off in less than a year. Today, I would have been debt free (except for my mortgage). By the way, her total benefit of spousal support while she's here is about $2,600 each month, that *I* pay for.

UNREAL, SHOCKING, I feel for you, that is truly sad, may God Bless you and 2008 start off better for you, this is horrible what you are being put through and so unfair, I am sure you probably already went to a lawyer or tried taking your name off all joint accounts, and I guess you did not have a prenup either, man that is simply so unfair the county judge where you live has made you continue subsidizing her lifestyle just because. Maybe someone else on here has had experience in this matter before and knows what to offer you to do for real. Take care, I feel for you, you did not deserve it.

[Austin_Volgograd 0]

Sorry you are having such a bad run of luck, but curious? Why would you have to file for bankruptcy? or continue to bankroll her spending sprees? What happened?

I'm sorry to hear of your loss and ordeal. I know how it feels to lose someone. I only lost my love in a little different way. She was greedy for money and a green card, and our relationship didn't work. I ended up filing for divorce.

Anyway...moral of the story is, you CAN withdraw the affidavit of support any time until the green card is issued. Again...it's a true shame after all that was done to make this relationship work, and it's just time to move on...heal the wounds...

I just wish there was a way to withdraw after the conditional green card was issued and before conditions were removed. I know the waivers and everything are to help protect immigrants... but who's here to protect U.S. Citizens? I've been forced into bankruptcy, will likely lose my house, and she gets a "free" green card! In the meantime, she's jet-setting all over the place... to California and Lake Tahoe for her birthday, and jetting to Russia TWICE in the past 10 weeks! And guess who gets to foot the bill!

I saw your reply in another topic, but I'll fill in folks here. Temporary orders force me to support another residence while paying for HER to say in MY house (separate property in Texas). I have to pay for all her utilities (electric, water, sewer, home phone, cell phone, and calling card to call Russia also) and luxuries (satellite TV, high-speed Internet, etc.). The *wonderful* Travis County standing orders in divorce cases prevents me from canceling any of the services (yes, even luxury services). And since I have to pay her monetary support (about $500 cash each month), I can't afford to pay the credit cards any more. Thus, BANKRUPTCY!

And to think... Before I met this evil woman, I was down to only about $5,000 in credit card debt that I was paying off in less than a year. Today, I would have been debt free (except for my mortgage). By the way, her total benefit of spousal support while she's here is about $2,600 each month, that *I* pay for.

UNREAL, SHOCKING, I feel for you, that is truly sad, may God Bless you and 2008 start off better for you, this is horrible what you are being put through and so unfair, I am sure you probably already went to a lawyer or tried taking your name off all joint accounts, and I guess you did not have a prenup either, man that is simply so unfair the county judge where you live has made you continue subsidizing her lifestyle just because. Maybe someone else on here has had experience in this matter before and knows what to offer you to do for real. Take care, I feel for you, you did not deserve it.

Thanks for the kind words. My lawyer advised me to get her off of all my joint accounts as quickly as possible. Because they were mine (separate property) to begin with, my credit unions had no problems removing her, and the credit card companies were quick to cut her cards off. No. No prenup. She constantly tested my feelings for her, always telling me that "Normal families don't do that. Normal families do this..." and "Do you think that's normal?" Things like preparing a budget and watching what we spend. And not going on numerous and massively expensive vacations when there's no money in the bank - only credit cards. Well, YES! I do think think that's normal! She asked me if what I'm doing in the divorce is normal. You mean by letting each of us resume as much of a normal life as possible, even if that means returning to where we were before we married? Well, YES! I do think think that's normal! She wore me out!

There's not much more I can do at this point, except get all this legal stuff done. Just gotta keep my sanity and try to recover best as I can! I won't admit to being jaded by this experience, but my hindsight is 20/20 and that will be applied toward any new relationship - here or abroad (if I even think about doing the overseas bride thing again).

Another sad part about all this is that I met my wife through a friend at work. My friend at work married my wife's best friend ("O"), and later introduced me to my wife ("N"). Now the best friends don't speak or even acknowledge each other's presence. I know there's hard feelings between them because "O" trusted my wife to be true and faithful, and "N" wasn't. I think it really pissed "O" off, and now "O" is to embarassed (or something) to even talk to me any more. I think "O" feels somewhat guilty for introducing me. It's not "O"s fault, and I certainly don't blame her for my wife's actions. No one knew, except my wife.

Anyways...

Happy Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! (choose one to your liking!)

[tito 1]

That is a terrible story, Austin. I have come to learn that many of these immigrants are well-schooled before they come here in how to work the system. But to be on the hook like that for such a short marriage? Get a better lawyer! That just doesn't seem right!! It's not your job!!! The role of the affidavit of support only goes to the fact that you agree to make sure she does not slip below the poverty level...if she's making $1,200 a month, that's all you are on the hook for...basic poverty level, and social services that are afforded to her up to that amount if she does not make enough.

[Austin_Volgograd 0]

That is a terrible story, Austin. I have come to learn that many of these immigrants are well-schooled before they come here in how to work the system. But to be on the hook like that for such a short marriage? Get a better lawyer! That just doesn't seem right!! It's not your job!!! The role of the affidavit of support only goes to the fact that you agree to make sure she does not slip below the poverty level...if she's making $1,200 a month, that's all you are on the hook for...basic poverty level, and social services that are afforded to her up to that amount if she does not make enough.

It's not the lawyer... It the stupid Travis County Court standing orders for ALL divorce cases in the county! Any divorce in this county automatically gets hit with these orders that basically say you can't change any of the living conditions of or levels of service to the other spouse. So automatically she gets the house ($1300), utilities ($300 'cause she runs the aircon/heat as much as she wants and I can't tell her otherwise), satellite TV ($75), etc. etc. etc.. It's a nasty law and the only way to change right now is to finish the divorce. But those temporary orders have forced me into bankruptcy; the court and the wife don't care about that. I know... It's not fair, but it's my curse for living here.

As for her being well-schooled... I believe it! Though she emphatically denies it, she's getting coaching from others. Only problem is, she is listening to them too well. She's asking for alimony for her and for child support for her child. Texas is not an alimony state. Her friends in California or some other state are telling her to fight for that. And the child is not mine. As much as I love her daughter (beautiful 3 year old, innocent of all her mother's wrongdoing), I cannot and will not allow my life to be ruined more than it already is. This woman (soon-to-be-ex) doesn't understand or, more likely, just doesn't cared that she's ruined both our lives to this point. At least she can return to Russia and resume the life she had before. I CAN'T! I'm forced into a bankruptcy that's going to take years to recover from! I'll recover; it just won't ever get back to the point I was at before the marriage.

Why do they get so greedy when they get here? Is it because they had so little for so long in Russia, that they feel they have to grab it all at one time and hoard it (my wife has about $200 of candy, chips, and other snacks in the pantry that she'll never even eat!)? I mean, why can't people just be happy with living a normal, wonderful life with someone who loves them? It's not like we were poor or anything close to that. I make a good salary; have (for the moment) a good home, good vehicles; always put good food on the table (not living like a pauper); bought nice clothes (not expensive, but not rags either!). I will never understand some people's need for greed and power.

[Anastassia 0]

I am not Russian and can't say that I know their culture very well. And certainly don't want offend anybody. And I am from Poland so for some people Poland or Russia is all the same. Long story short I know three Russian women here who married USC for immigration purpose only - they are not even trying to hide it, but those discussions never took place with their spouses present so I have no idea what spouses know about it. Marriages don't work but wives stay quiet and wait for the right opportunity to get out (two of them actually told me this up front). Now my USC friend is also bringing fiance from Russia. I know their "love story" and I can bet it won't last. He wouldn't listen and doesn't even think twice why a beautiful 20 year old fell in love with more than twice her age, rather unatractive, but quite well off American guy. Don't know what it is but some of these women can really get what they want.

I am sorry for what happened to you Austin, I would really try to find a local woman if I were you.

Hope nobody feels offended by my post

Ana

[*JG* 2]

This is such a sad story. I don't think you sound jaded. I think you sound hurt and your are dealing it the best you can.

It's one of those stories we will hear over and over again on this web site. I always hope to learn something from each and every one of them. So, thank you for sharing.

I hope the future brings you peace and happiness.

[zqt3344 21]

Ana

You are by God right! And there is a very strong pattern of this behaviour out of Russian women. It does happen. And your USC friend you are talking about is completely foolish in thinking that he meets some 20 yr old online or with mail order bride service that it is going to work, I agree with you, it will not. At least you were trying to be a good friend and tell him to open his eyes and stop and think about what he was about to do. I know, for my spouse is from Ukraine and has told me that there are numerous women that do just exactly what you describe to get out of Russia and they know what they are doing it is all planned out ahead of time and they are just "sleepers" waiting for the right time and moment to come awake and leave along with ruining a USC dreams and life in the process. It does happen. Not all are that way but there is a high percentage and a strong pattern or trend with some Russian heritage to do what you just described. Like you say not to offend anyone but I have met and know people married to Russians and it is identical to what you describe and point out, exactly!

I just hope Austin V can recover soon financially and be able to put his life back together for himself first, for no one deserves to go through what he is going through.

I am not Russian and can't say that I know their culture very well. And certainly don't want offend anybody. And I am from Poland so for some people Poland or Russia is all the same. Long story short I know three Russian women here who married USC for immigration purpose only - they are not even trying to hide it, but those discussions never took place with their spouses present so I have no idea what spouses know about it. Marriages don't work but wives stay quiet and wait for the right opportunity to get out (two of them actually told me this up front). Now my USC friend is also bringing fiance from Russia. I know their "love story" and I can bet it won't last. He wouldn't listen and doesn't even think twice why a beautiful 20 year old fell in love with more than twice her age, rather unatractive, but quite well off American guy. Don't know what it is but some of these women can really get what they want.

I am sorry for what happened to you Austin, I would really try to find a local woman if I were you.

Hope nobody feels offended by my post

Ana

[Habilus 0]

Tito,

Firstly, my sympathies with your situation. I can relate to it though. It didn't work out for "us" either. America is a lot different in real life than on tv. We don't get whatever we want on a silver platter.

I won't go into lengthy details, but her visa expires in 6 months and last friday I reluctantly sent in the complete package for adjustment of status. Shortly after, I noticed it's the same water going under the bridge over and over.

If it's this bad with her immigration status depending on me, then how bad will it be when she has permanent residence? I have to end this now.

I have already cancelled the checks I've written, but how do I legally withdraw my affidavit of support?

Thanks for any,

Brian

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Tito,

Firstly, my sympathies with your situation. I can relate to it though. It didn't work out for "us" either. America is a lot different in real life than on tv. We don't get whatever we want on a silver platter.

I won't go into lengthy details, but her visa expires in 6 months and last friday I reluctantly sent in the complete package for adjustment of status. Shortly after, I noticed it's the same water going under the bridge over and over.

If it's this bad with her immigration status depending on me, then how bad will it be when she has permanent residence? I have to end this now.

I have already cancelled the checks I've written, but how do I legally withdraw my affidavit of support?

Thanks for any,

Brian

Letter to the Service Center and local office, requesting that your endorsement for the alien be withdrawn is necessary.

[Habilus 0]

It is with a heavy heart that I take this course of action. I believe she was sincere in marriage, but for the wrong reasons. Maybe we both were.

Thank you for your kind help.