We are not Happy In the US

[RnA 1]

Hi. I really need advice for my marriage. I really can’t tolerant again to my husband. He treated us bad. Especially to my big daughter. She is 10 years old. He told me that he no more heart for her. He told us that we came to the US just make everything worse. N his family also not welcomed us since we came 2 months ago. We really not happy. Until now he doesn’t want to apply AOS n I don’t know when he will do it. His temper are so bad. Yelled to me n my kids nonstop everyday. Until my 1st daughter said that she will run away n she said she can’t stay with a cruel step father like that. Her school tried to helped us. But I said to them that I still wish him can be change n good husband n father for us. But my wish not come true. Last night he again made my daughter cry. I want to back home to my own country bring my kids so far from him but how he always said he will never let me to bring the little kid. Just because I agreed to put his last name to my little kid’s name. So he thought he have right for her. N I worried about my daughters’s mental. He is crazy man. Can u guys tell me what I have to do? I can’t back to my home country cos we have no money to buy ticket flight. And I don’t know about my status too here. Illegal or legal. 

[little immigrant 800]

Which country are you from? Is the little daughter biologically his? 

[Ontarkie 13,904]

If you are past your 90 days here on a K1 then you are out of status. 

 

Putting your husbands name on your daughters birth certificate does not give him any rights unless he is the father. Is he the father, how did she come to the US with you? 

 

You need to get out and get money to go back home. If your youngest is not his then you don't need his permission to leave. This may be some trouble depending on how she got here, need you to clarify this? If she came on a k2 then it will easy to just leave. If somehow he did CRBA when the child is not his that will be a mess and you will need a lawyer. 

 

There are shelters and Catholic charities to help you get out and home. Get somewhere safe now and find away home after you and the kids are safe. 

[geowrian 22,335]

Get somewhere safe. Safety always comes first, especially with a child. Get to a women's shelter if need be. They can provide guidance and counseling, and potentially more to help you get home.

 

Best wishes and stay safe.

[mushroomspore 3,043]

Do you have any friends or family in your home country who can pay for you and your kid(s) to fly back home? If your husband is NOT the biological father of your younger child, I don't believe your husband has any "rights" to the child. I think that only happens when/if your husband puts in official adoption papers for your children. Anyways, find a way to get out of the house with your kids. If your kids go to school, do they have a trustworthy teacher you can talk to? Or perhaps the parents of a classmate???

[KazuriSana 324]

Perhaps seek help from your embassy/consulate for ticket if that is the only thing holding you from returning home. Also, some diaspora communities do have organizations, and look out for each other. Perhaps that can also be an alternative for help with the tickets if you know of any from your country.

[Dutchster 1,106]

If the child is his (who knows), I don't think she should leave the country. I believe he can file for child kidnapping. 

Correct me if I'm wrong though.

Edited May 27, 2018 by Dutchster

[belinda63 2,981]

The children had passports to come to the US. What passport did the child come on? You can use those passports to leave unless it is a US passport in which case he can place a kidnapping notice with the Department of State.

Contact your embassy for assistance returning home.

[Dashinka 23,206]

You may want to consider visiting a church or mosque, or a local women’s shelter to seek help.  You only mentioned verbal abuse, but what you described, it seems like he wants you to leave as well.  As others have asked, you need to clarify the status of your youngest child with respect to you husband.

 

Good Luck!

[Apple Bee 272]

Wow this is so scary. I feel for you. I hope you can get away from him right away for your own sake and the sake of your child(ren).

[mich923 23]

As others have mentioned, if you feel you are in danger go to any local church, mosque, or synagogue. They may be able to get you help or put you somewhere safe to stay, especially for your children. Also I have attached a link from the USCIS, which has numbers for phone numbers to report domestic abuse. Although you may not be a citizen yet, you still have the same rights as everyone else. If you absolutely need to call the police, they also will have the resources to help you, maybe with a restraining order against your fiance/husband. If you need any more help we can try to help you. 

 

https://www.uscis.gov/news/fact-sheets/information-legal-rights-available-immigrant-victims-domestic-violence-united-states-and-facts-about-immigrating-marriage-based-visa-fact-sheet

[bakphx1 785]

The nearest Catholic Social Services I find is 

25250 Eureka Rd, Taylor, MI 48180.   

They are the only Social Services organization that is charitable I can think of that is qualified to handle both the domestic issues and the immigration issues that you have. I would start calling them and getting their advice. It may take getting passed around from one office to another. But in the end they may be able to best help you.   Their local number is (734) 946-4092

 

[fip & jim 452]

Dear RnA,

 

As mich923 said - under all circumstances all people in the US are guaranteed protection from abuse under the law. It is recognised that immigrants are vulnerable. You are right to not be intimidated into believing that your status means you should tolerate abuse. Help is available for you: National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233, www.ndvh.org. 

Wishing you all the best.

[RnA 1]

On 5/27/2018 at 6:13 PM, little immigrant said:

 

 

On 5/27/2018 at 6:13 PM, little immigrant said:

Which country are you from? Is the little daughter biologically his? 

Sorry just today I got time to reply back. Because he was always watching me while he didn't go to work. We are from Indonesia. He is not my little daughter biologically his. He just helped me for hospital when I was had a birth. N he said he will tc of my kids so I let him to put his last name on her. 

[RnA 1]

On 5/27/2018 at 6:15 PM, Ontarkie said:

If you are past your 90 days here on a K1 then you are out of status. 

 

Putting your husbands name on your daughters birth certificate does not give him any rights unless he is the father. Is he the father, how did she come to the US with you? 

 

You need to get out and get money to go back home. If your youngest is not his then you don't need his permission to leave. This may be some trouble depending on how she got here, need you to clarify this? If she came on a k2 then it will easy to just leave. If somehow he did CRBA when the child is not his that will be a mess and you will need a lawyer. 

 

There are shelters and Catholic charities to help you get out and home. Get somewhere safe now and find away home after you and the kids are safe. 

No he is not her father. She came with me with K2. 

Thank you so much for ur advice.