Visiting boyfriend with ESTA, looking for advice.

[Pixelx 29]

Hey! First off, if there are plenty of threads like this I apologize! I'm new to this place and just looking for some advice.

Anyway, to my point.
So I'm going to the US for the first time ever to visit my boyfriend now in april, I have a trip booked for 77 days, with return ticket and everything. We are planning on getting engaged while I'm there and then file for K1 visa before I go home. 
I'm really worried about entering US, and getting trouble att PoE, since this is something I haven't done before. It's all very unknown and scary to me.

So I've read things like "bring ties to homecountry", I do not have a job right now so obviously can't have a letter from employer, nor do I own a car, I do however rent an apartment with a lease right now that I'm somewhat tied to, if that helps..
I will not have alot of funds on me on the day I travel, I do however have my bank statements from end of march that states I have a bit atleast, I will also get paid twice during those 77 days, not sure how to prove that tho.
My boyfriend is also obviously going to host me, and help pay for whatever food/other stuff there might be.

So, does anyone have any advice on what I should do? Any documents I should make sure to have on me? And should they be translated to English?  Also, seen people mention say "friend" and not "boyfriend" I am confused on which I should say. When they ask what my business in US is should I say "vacation" or "visiting boyfriend"?
Also does it help if I have a letter from boyfriend stating he will host me/help pay for food and whatever else is needed during trip? I'm a bit worried they're gonna ask about my funds since the trip is pretty long...
My PoE is MSP by the way, which I've heard some bad stuff about probably why I'm so worried in the first place. And I'm from Sweden, if that info is usefull, haha.

Sorry if my post is confusing, I'm new to forums...
Hope someone has some advice for me! 
Thanks.
 

[Coco8 1,039]

1- Never lie at POE

 

2- You can say vacation and visiting boyfriend. 

 

3- No, it does not help having a letter. You seem to have some funds. As long as you don't have like 200 dollars, you should be OK. You also have a credit card, I assume. You will also get paid.

 

4- The most important tie is that you are still working and you are going to be on holidays (they might ask how is it that you can have such a long holiday). Maybe get a letter from your job saying you will be on holiday and expected back to work on ... 

Maybe a lease if you rent the place where you live.

 

5- I think you are overreacting. You are from Sweden. 

 

Edited March 25, 2018 by Coco8

[Crazy Cat 39,220]

I would bring a copy of the apartment lease, translated, along with other evidence which will show that you intend to return to your country like scheduled appointments, obligations, etc. .  You must convince the CBP officer that you will return to your country at the end of your visit.  I would NOT bring a letter from your boyfriend.  That will possibly hurt your case because it could appear that you were only concerned with having enough money to enter the US.  They very well could ask how you intend to finance your stay.  If you are being hosted by friends, tell them that.   Always be truthful when asked questions. 

Millions of people enter the US every year via ESTA.  Enjoy your visit.

 

Disclaimer:  Although it is not likely that you will have any issues entering the US, the CBP can deny entry if they suspect you have immigrant intent..

[JFH 12,189]

Whether you say boyfriend or friend is up to you. There are people who refer to

someone they’ve never met face-to-face as a boyfriend or girlfriend. Others, me included, couldn’t use that term for someone we’ve never met. So that’s an individual choice. 

 

My advice would be to not over-think anything and certainly not to try and give answers to questions that you think they want to hear. The money one is always interesting. I’ve been admitted into the county with 10 bucks on me in cash but my debit and credit cards from the UK (before I moved here). Carrying too much money can be a red flag that all accounts and possessions in the home country have been liquidated. It’s unusual for people to travel with large amounts of cash these days. I hardly ever use cash and will

use a card even to buy a drink or snack. 

 

[Pixelx 29]

Thanks guys! Appreciate the help.

I've met my boyfriend, last I saw him was Dec-January when he spent over a month with me in Sweden.
I will most likely not have any actual cash on me, as I never do, I just use my credit card.
And yeah, I'm currently not officially employed anywhere, I do however take care of my mother who is sick and needs loads of help, not sure this could be used as a strong tie tho? I could try and get some document stating that and that she expects me back home, since it's not any official employment or anything I'm not sure how valid it is tho.
 

[Crazy Cat 39,220]

2 minutes ago, Pixelx said:

Thanks guys! Appreciate the help.

I've met my boyfriend, last I saw him was Dec-January when he spent over a month with me in Sweden.
I will most likely not have any actual cash on me, as I never do, I just use my credit card.
And yeah, I'm currently not officially employed anywhere, I do however take care of my mother who is sick and needs loads of help, not sure this could be used as a strong tie tho? I could try and get some document stating that and that she expects me back home, since it's not any official employment or anything I'm not sure how valid it is tho.
 

Good idea.

[JFH 12,189]

3 hours ago, Pixelx said:

And yeah, I'm currently not officially employed anywhere, I do however take care of my mother who is sick and needs loads of help, not sure this could be used as a strong tie tho? I could try and get some document stating that and that she expects me back home, since it's not any official employment or anything I'm not sure how valid it is tho.
 

So how do you get paid if you're not working? Your mother can't be that much of a tie of you are planning to file a K-1 and leave the country for good. Just playing devil's advocate and encouraging you to see it from the perspective of someone else....

[Pixelx 29]

36 minutes ago, JFH said:

So how do you get paid if you're not working? Your mother can't be that much of a tie of you are planning to file a K-1 and leave the country for good. Just playing devil's advocate and encouraging you to see it from the perspective of someone else....

I do have a current income, obviously. I get activity compensation. Just isn't any normal employment or something I can prove or use as a strong tie, sadly. Well, currently she is a strong tie tho? Haven't even filed for K1 yet. Currently I am taking care of her and am expected to be back and keep taking care of her this summer/fall... Not sure why K1 is relevant to this since I am for now just going to visit with the ESTA.

[az2014 381]

Staying for 77 days, visiting boyfriend and having no job can be seen as an overstay risk. More than usual, even with ESTA.

 

I would be prepared to be questioned about your relationship with your boyfriend, your finances and your plans for the future.

 

Do let us know how it goes.

Edited March 26, 2018 by az2014

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

Although my fiancé never stayed that long every time (his longest visit to the states was 2 months, but other visits were only around 2 weeks), he never had issue during any of his visits, and he is also from Sweden.

 

While you definitely DO NOT lie to the officer, my fiancé never made a point to specifically say he was visiting his girlfriend when visiting. He simply stated he was there on vacation/holiday, that was about it. I think they asked once how long he knew me (because you have to say where it is you are staying/if it's with someone else), but that was really all they asked. Of course, he had different POE location and every officer you run into could potentially ask different questions. He also visited once while technically unemployed, as he was in between jobs (the time he stayed for 2 months) and didn't seem to have a problem that I know of. He also never traveled with cash; he used his Swedebank card every time he's visited here and just withdrew US cash at ATMs here as needed while here.

 

Everyone here has already given some good advice. Your main focus should be providing enough to support that you intend on returning to Sweden. They could care less whether or not you two intend on eventually filing for a K1 - that topic in general will not help you at this point whatsoever. They only care about this particular visit and whether or not you are an overstay risk.

 

Billing statements showing you have bills, such as rent, that you will have to return home to cover and have an obligation to. Someone else said any appointments you have scheduled, that's good, too.

[Soonish 90]

21 hours ago, Pixelx said:

Hey! First off, if there are plenty of threads like this I apologize! I'm new to this place and just looking for some advice.

Anyway, to my point.
So I'm going to the US for the first time ever to visit my boyfriend now in april, I have a trip booked for 77 days, with return ticket and everything. We are planning on getting engaged while I'm there and then file for K1 visa before I go home. 
I'm really worried about entering US, and getting trouble att PoE, since this is something I haven't done before. It's all very unknown and scary to me.

So I've read things like "bring ties to homecountry", I do not have a job right now so obviously can't have a letter from employer, nor do I own a car, I do however rent an apartment with a lease right now that I'm somewhat tied to, if that helps..
I will not have alot of funds on me on the day I travel, I do however have my bank statements from end of march that states I have a bit atleast, I will also get paid twice during those 77 days, not sure how to prove that tho.
My boyfriend is also obviously going to host me, and help pay for whatever food/other stuff there might be.

So, does anyone have any advice on what I should do? Any documents I should make sure to have on me? And should they be translated to English?  Also, seen people mention say "friend" and not "boyfriend" I am confused on which I should say. When they ask what my business in US is should I say "vacation" or "visiting boyfriend"?
Also does it help if I have a letter from boyfriend stating he will host me/help pay for food and whatever else is needed during trip? I'm a bit worried they're gonna ask about my funds since the trip is pretty long...
My PoE is MSP by the way, which I've heard some bad stuff about probably why I'm so worried in the first place. And I'm from Sweden, if that info is usefull, haha.

Sorry if my post is confusing, I'm new to forums...
Hope someone has some advice for me! 
Thanks.
 

Hey,

 

I went for 85 days over Dec-Feb and you’re definitely worrying too much. My entry went like this:

 

Him: Good morning.

Me: Morning!

Him: What are you doing in the US?

Me: Visiting my boyfriend and travelling around. 

Him: What does your boyfriend do?

Me: He just got out the military, he’s at school. 

Him: *Hands back passport* Have a nice trip.

 

They didnt  ask for any proof of return or funds or anything. Never a bad idea to take them of course, but I doubt you’ll need them on an ESTA. Just remember to be sure to leave before 90 days. You’ll get a text telling you you have to leave soon when you’re close to the 90.

 

We also got engaged and filed the K1 while out there. 

 

Hope you have a fun time! 

 

x

Edited March 26, 2018 by ALGS

[JoannaV 173]

How the conversation will go depends on the individual immigration official at the border.

 

Some people can say "leisure" in response to "what is your purpose of travel", but for most people that is too unnatural. (I mean, I never felt I could say that, lol!)

 

I'd bring the apartment lease just in case. I don't think your mother is relevant, unless you will be engaging someone else to look after her whilst you are away. Ie, if you have documentation showing you are employing a caregiver whilst you are away, or that you have arranged for a variety of other people to take a week or two of their vacation time to look after her. But other than that they wouldn't be convinced, because they figure if you can leave for 77 days then you can leave.

 

No reason to mention K1 upfront, but in some conversations it might come up - if they ask what your long-term plans are then be truthful. They often don't know all the ins-and-outs of immigration so keep it simple.

 

During the year in which I visited a lot with ESTA, I was always allowed entry and never had to explain why I had the time and money to visit, nor asked for ties to the UK. (Well, my first three visits were to my boyfriend/fiance and I was never asked anything about plans/ties/intent. My other two visits were to my husband and they accepted that I was waiting for the spousal visa, although we hadn't applied at the time of my first of those two entries.) At my first visit, when asked my reason for visiting I said to visit my boyfriend and I think the next question was where or how I met him. I was then asked a few more questions but it wasn't really an immigration thing - the guy was worried that my online boyfriend whom I'd never met might be some kind of danger to me. But that's not one of the reasons they deny entry for. Lol.

 

The vast majority of the time people are successful with using the VWP to visit their boyfriends and girlfriends. But there are no guarantees and occasionally someone is denied entry due to suspicion of immigrant intent. (And occasionally due to clear evidence of immigrant intent.) But again, vast majority are successful, so try not to spend your flight anxious!

[yuna628 9,528]

Back in the day my husband made his first trip to see me. He brought with him no real evidence of anything whatsoever. He was thoroughly grilled by the CBP, he can't remember how long by now, but think something like 20 minutes or so. They threw at him every single question they could think of: and for each question, he remained calm and had an honest answer for. They wanted to know and tested him on everything about me and my family. Looking back I think to myself that without paper evidence and if he had been a lot more nervous or stumbled on some answers when challenged he might not have made it in during this day and age. But of course they liked the fact that he had an answer for everything and he had a return ticket and travel insurance. Since that time he made many trips to visit, and honestly he still never bothered to bring any evidence and was never bothered by an IO ever again either. It didn't matter if he was employed or unemployed or even a student. But I don't think in your case, I would attempt to visit your first time without coming prepared with evidence. Go over any and all questions that could be asked. No one here can tell you how the IO will react, they can only offer their own experiences.

 

Be unflappable, prepared, and always truthful.

[streanor 405]

I was in a similar situation to you and was able to travel to the U.S. on an ESTA and stay with my boyfriend (now fiancé) for 85 days back in 2015.

 

At the time I was recently unemployed and was living with my parents so I had no ties to my home country. At immigration I told them how the fact that I was now unemployed was giving me the rare opportunity to take a bit of a career break and wanted to take a long break to spend time with my boyfriend with the plan to do a serious job hunting when I returned home. They pulled me aside and 3 different people questioned me for a total of a 45 minutes. They also searched my luggage - I believe they were looking for any evidence that I might plan to work or stay long term while I was in the US.

 

The final officer that spoke to me told me straight out they had good cause for concern and reminded me that I could not spend more time in the U.S. than my home country. I stayed polite and made it clear it was very important to me to abide by the rules. 

 

Yes, it is possible for you to make this trip like me but I'm sorry to say it's not guaranteed, it is at the end of the day at the discretion of the immigration officers. It's so important to stick to the truth! Answer their questions honestly and don't offer up extra information they do not ask for. I wouldn't be too keen on telling them your plans to get engaged - as it has not happened yet it's not important.

 

I know it's hard not to be nervous but once you have nothing to hide and intend to stick by the rules you should have no reason to be worried!!

 

Best of Luck!!!!

 

 

[nullaccount234 882]

I'm Swedish and my fiancé is American. I visited him multiple times while we were boyfriend-girlfriend, always told the CBP that this was the case, never any issues. The first time I visited him was the first time I had been to the country in a few years, I came alone, and I was on a new ESTA (obviously). So I was "randomly" picked out to have my bag checked and the CPB lady used the opportunity to ask a few more questions. We talked for a little bit, she asked roughly the following:

 

What is the purpose of the trip (vacation)

Are you visiting someone (yes)

Who is it that you're visiting (my boyfriend)

How long have you been seeing each other (nine months)

How did you meet (on an exchange in country X)

How long are you staying (a little over a week)

Where will you be staying (address Y)

What is the address you're staying at (his university)

 

Then she also had some questions about things in my bag (nothing interesting in there though, I promise!). They really don't seem to want to hear long stories, they just want straight, reasonable and truthful answers to their questions. One CBP officer at a later point actually lit up when I told him I was visiting my boyfriend "Ah, so that's why you've visited more frequently lately! Have a really nice stay!" and then he waved me off. 

 

I think bringing evidence of return/ties to home country is a good idea in your case since you're staying for a longer amount of time, but don't sweat it  I think you will be just fine.