Fiance Not On Board With K-1 Process?

[doggieandsam 765]

4 hours ago, usmsbow said:

I'm 100% ignorant on Australia immigrant laws, but is there a reason why you don't move there instead? As a couple others noted, it is probably harder for him to move than you. When I was 22, I sought out opportunities to live and work abroad. As I quickly approach 40? Not really. I have a job that is very America-centric, a homeowner, etc. And if I were in my 50s, I'd be even more skeptical about moving, unless I worked a in a profession with global demand (such as nursing).

 

I'm not excusing him nor advocating for you two to work things out, but if I were him, I don't think I'd be very thrilled about moving to another country, no matter how much I was in love. Instead, I'd definitely be doing what I could to encourage my significant other to move to where I was. It doesn't sound like he's done that though either...

 

  

you, me and several others have suggested this option to OP in this thread and in another thread, but OP is adamant that she does not want to even consider the thought of moving to australia. 

[MacUK 983]

7 hours ago, David & Zoila said:

And seriously, who works 72 hours per week?  That might not be totally true.

I do, not everybody gets to work a nice 9-5

[NikLR 13,220]

18 hours ago, MacUK said:

I do, not everybody gets to work a nice 9-5

I work 4 10s.. so does hubs.  Unless you are salary based you likely arent working much more then 40 a week at a job.  Businesses dont like paying overtime. 

[geowrian 22,335]

9 minutes ago, NikLR said:

I work 4 10s.. so does hubs.  Unless you are salary based you likely arent working much more then 40 a week at a job.  Businesses dont like paying overtime. 

When you're a consultant and your business gets to bill a client for the time, working over 40 hours a week isn't an issue. Although my occupation is exempt from 1.5x pay for overtime in my state...

Edited December 5, 2017 by geowrian

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

3 hours ago, NikLR said:

I work 4 10s.. so does hubs.  Unless you are salary based you likely arent working much more then 40 a week at a job.  Businesses dont like paying overtime. 

 

It probably just depends on the job.  My husband is hourly and some weeks he will work 60+ hours, sometimes he'll work less than 40, just depends.  He gets overtime for anything above 40 hours and anything outside the normal 7am-6pm operating hours M-F.  There are a couple of large-building project companies around here who routinely employ for 50+ hours, pay overtime and pay per diem expenses on top of that (hotel, food, etc.).  The only downside of that is being away from home during the week.

 

It is cheaper for them to pay overtime than to find another qualified worker or not finish a job on time.

 

 

[NikLR 13,220]

2 hours ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

It probably just depends on the job.  My husband is hourly and some weeks he will work 60+ hours, sometimes he'll work less than 40, just depends.  He gets overtime for anything above 40 hours and anything outside the normal 7am-6pm operating hours M-F.  There are a couple of large-building project companies around here who routinely employ for 50+ hours, pay overtime and pay per diem expenses on top of that (hotel, food, etc.).  The only downside of that is being away from home during the week.

 

It is cheaper for them to pay overtime than to find another qualified worker or not finish a job on time.

 

 

Trades are different obvs. 

[TNJ17 1,329]

Long work hours is way more common than the other. My previous job, hours every day, with only maybe 20-30 minutes for lunch break when I had one. And a question I am asked the most, boy you must have made a ton of money no? And the answer is no way! I worked for cheap a$$ business owners who did not treat their employees well. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a 9-5 job. 

Edited December 9, 2017 by TNJ17

[dentsflogged 352]

On 12/4/2017 at 1:09 PM, usmsbow said:

 

I'm 100% ignorant on Australia immigrant laws, but is there a reason why you don't move there instead? As a couple others noted, it is probably harder for him to move than you

 

Sadly, not the case that it's any easier to get into Australia than the USA. Australia is a very tough country to immigrate to, and only getting tougher. Our current government has cracked down on all sorts of working holiday visas/short & long term work visas and the partner visa is an incredibly long, complicated and expensive process, including a form that needs to be filled out by TWO friends of EACH of the couple stating that they know the couple, believe them to be in a genuine relationship, and giving details of how you met each party.   I believe the cost now is close to $7,000 (Australian). Plus, that doesn't give you any kind of rights to use Medicare (the Australian public health system). 

 

[usmsbow 795]

17 minutes ago, dentsflogged said:

Sadly, not the case that it's any easier to get into Australia than the USA. Australia is a very tough country to immigrate to, and only getting tougher. Our current government has cracked down on all sorts of working holiday visas/short & long term work visas and the partner visa is an incredibly long, complicated and expensive process, including a form that needs to be filled out by TWO friends of EACH of the couple stating that they know the couple, believe them to be in a genuine relationship, and giving details of how you met each party.   I believe the cost now is close to $7,000 (Australian). Plus, that doesn't give you any kind of rights to use Medicare (the Australian public health system). 

 

Just to clarify: I didn't mean easier cost wise or process wise. I just meant it would be easier for a 22 year old to immigrate to another country than someone in his 50s. 

 

But wow, that is crazy expensive! USCIS now seems like a bargain. 

[dentsflogged 352]

1 minute ago, usmsbow said:

But wow, that is crazy expensive! USCIS now seems like a bargain.

It really does!

My partner and I are starting the paperwork for USCIS tonight - he looked a little shocked when he saw the cost of it.  I showed him the cost for an Australian visa and he winced. Then I pointed out that $500ish for him NOW, vs. the cost of medical for me, the cost of visa fee at interview, the cost of flights back and forth for my visits (he doesn't get enough time off work to make it worthwhile), the cost of moving for me... is going to FAR outstrip $500 now. 

I mean, not that we're keeping score or anything, but it was an eye opener for him, and I don't think he'd really considered the fact that it's going to cost me a huge amount in the long run financially AND emotionally. 

[NikLR 13,220]

On 12/11/2017 at 12:21 PM, dentsflogged said:

It really does!

My partner and I are starting the paperwork for USCIS tonight - he looked a little shocked when he saw the cost of it.  I showed him the cost for an Australian visa and he winced. Then I pointed out that $500ish for him NOW, vs. the cost of medical for me, the cost of visa fee at interview, the cost of flights back and forth for my visits (he doesn't get enough time off work to make it worthwhile), the cost of moving for me... is going to FAR outstrip $500 now. 

I mean, not that we're keeping score or anything, but it was an eye opener for him, and I don't think he'd really considered the fact that it's going to cost me a huge amount in the long run financially AND emotionally. 

I don't see how moving someplace when your friends and family already don't approve of your relationship matters?  It's a huge amount of emotional and financial from him too.  No matter who moves. 

[dentsflogged 352]

On 12/13/2017 at 8:38 PM, NikLR said:

don't see how moving someplace when your friends and family already don't approve of your relationship matters?  It's a huge amount of emotional and financial from him too.  No matter who moves. 

I never said that my friends and family don't approve of our relationship.  In fact some of them are aggressively enthusiastic about my move.

 

I'm presuming that you confused me & OP since their partner is an Aussie and I am, which is I guess fair enough.

I'm well aware that there are huge financial and emotional obligations and compromises on both sides of a long distance relationship, but at the end of the day, the party leaving their home country, friends, family and (generally) the only place they've ever known is the one giving up a LOT more. 

[NikLR 13,220]

41 minutes ago, dentsflogged said:

I never said that my friends and family don't approve of our relationship.  In fact some of them are aggressively enthusiastic about my move.

 

I'm presuming that you confused me & OP since their partner is an Aussie and I am, which is I guess fair enough.

I'm well aware that there are huge financial and emotional obligations and compromises on both sides of a long distance relationship, but at the end of the day, the party leaving their home country, friends, family and (generally) the only place they've ever known is the one giving up a LOT more. 

Probably did confuse you with the OP.   Sorry. 

[Unidentified 2,930]

Why doesn't your family like him?