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Katherine93

Divorce and bitter soon-to-be-ex-spouse?

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In November 2016 I posted a thread about considering divorce with my current spouse. I explained our differences in values and motivation, life goals, etc. (

)

 

Although I was considering divorce as a possibility, I still had some faith in our relationship and marriage that it would work out and it was just going to take time. 

 

We had our interview on 12/8/2016 and was approved. I received my conditional green card. 

 

The major issues that we were having were that 1) Vaping - it bothers me and he would not give it up. 2) DJing - He is not focused on school, barely making ends meet by working in retail, yet still putting 80% of his time into something that he should not prioritize at the moment. That was a no-no for me and I made it clear to him that I do not accept that. He promised me that he would quit but broke his promise 3 times. All these issues building up made me very frustrated. 

 

I went back to my home country to visit family over Christmas and New years. I was gone for like 2 weeks. During that time he went out partying/drinking EVERY SINGLE NIGHT (how do I know? FB and snapchat...) Couple days before I came back I spoke to him expressing my concerns and doubts about this marriage. He was very rude and was like "if you want to leave me just do it now so I don't have to put up with your misery anymore." I said okay but we will have to talk in person.  

 

He picked me up from the airport (I had to pay him to do that...). I got home and saw lipstick on my personal mug (not my lip prints apparently). The sheets were in the laundry (weird because he never does laundry for bed sheets and stuff). I was a little suspicious but didn't think too much about it. I tried to talk to him about our marriage and he seemed uninterested/avoiding the topic. 2 days after I came back from my home country (today), I found a box of condoms in the bathroom cabinets. I was shocked. We never use condoms because I'm on birth control. 3 of those condoms are missing. I confronted him, he admitted but seemed mad at me??? He was like well you are the one who wanted to leave me. Excuse me? Nothing is finalized and it certainly does not justify him sleeping with another woman. 

 

He would not tell me when it was and where it was. I'm deeply disgusted. What's more bothersome is that he is trying to turn it against me by saying it's because I'm a , I'm using him for the green card, I'm an ugly person inside, etc. It's truly disappointing. When we were on good terms he was such a sweet person to me. The day I bring up possible splitting up he turns around and someone else, blame it on me, and falsely accuse me of these mean things. I'm using him for green card? I've been with him for 3.5 years, been married for almost 2 years. His bitterness and immaturity is completely throwing me off right now. I wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly decide to call immigration and file a complaint against me or something. He has done worse things to his ex after she broke up with him. 

 

After finding out about him cheating, you bet I'm getting a divorce. Considering our situation right now, I'm not sure if he will seek some sort of revenge that might potentially affect my immigration status. My other concern is that it's happening so soon after I received my conditional green card. I know it does not look good, but it's out of my control and I'm not going to be miserable just for the sake of immigration benefits. 

 

I'd think that we have a fair amount of evidence - Joint tax returns, joint leases, utility bills, joint ownership of a cat, joint car insurance, hotel/flight for several trips taken together, phone records, concert tickets, letters from him to me, tons of photos from all kinds of occasions including holidays, travelling, family and friends gatherings, etc. and possibly getting affidavits from 2 friends of ours. If I get an interview I'd be happy to explain to the officer the story. I'm just worried about the timing being so close. I don't know if anyone has had or seen similar cases that got approved? 

 

Thank you very much in advance!

 

 


08/13/2013 Came to the US on F1 visa

09/26/2013 Met my husband

11/03/2013 Started dating

03/11/2015 Got married at the court house

10/23/2015 Medical exam done

11/04/2015 AOS package mailed out by USPS priority (I130 & I145 concurrent filing)

11/06/2015 Packaged delivered to Chicago Lockbox

11/13/2015 Both checks cashed by USCIS

11/15/2015 Received text msg notification of receipts of I765, I131, I130 and I485

11/19/2015 Received NOA in mail

11/20/2015 Received biometrics appointment letter in the mail

12/04/2015 Biometrics appointment completed

12/09/2015 Case ready to be scheduled for interview

01/25/2016 Submitted online service request for EAD

01/27/2016 I765 case status updated to "New Card Being Produced"

01/28/2016 EAD officially approved and card has been mailed

02/03/2016 EAD/AP combo card received in the mail. YAY!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10/27/2016 EAD/AP renewal application mailed USPS priority

10/29/2016 EAD/AP renewal package delivered to Chicago Lockbox (Saturday)

11/02/2016 Online case status updated to interview scheduled for December 8th

11/12/2016 New medical exam done due to one year validity

12/08/2016 AOS interview and case was APPROVED, new card is being produced

12/12/2016 Received Approval/welcome notice in the mail

12/16/2016 Received conditional green card in the mail

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

01/31/2017 Filed for divorce (long story)

07/26/2017 Final divorce decree granted 

08/21/2017 i-751 with divorce waiver package mailed USPS priority 

08/28/2017 NOA/Extension letter received in mail 

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As long as you have all those proofs you can divorce him and ROC with a waiver when it's time.

Honestly, it seems like he was too immature to be in any kind of relationship. Short term or long term.  

Either way, you have plenty of proof of bonafide marriage. He can say all he wants, but he won't be able to hurt your immigration status unless he had something that straight up said "I WANT TO USE YOU FOR A GREEN CARD AND THEN LEAVE YOU" in a text or something. Keep all your proof, divorce, and ROC without him.

All you can do is tell the truth if they asked why it all went down after you got your conditional. Say you were trying to work it out, you went off for Christmas and you came back to all that nonsense.

Best of luck, some people aren't willing to grow up or see anything wrong with their behavior. Some take it as a "Well I was like this before and you loved me, so I'm going to keep partying" where as most, when it comes to marriage, at least attempt to settle down.

Edited by Ash.1101

*More detailed timeline in profile!*
 
Relationship:     Friends since 2010, Together since 2013
 

Spoiler

Met online: June 2010
Started dating: March 20, 2013
Engaged: November 27, 2014
Married: Feburary 20, 2016



The K-1 Process:    Done in 208 days                                               
 

Spoiler

04/27/15- NOA1 Recieved                                                    
06/02/15 - NOA2 Recieved
09/22/15 - Interview       (221g for more documents (a SECOND cosponsor), see profile for more details!)                                            
11/09/15 -  ISSUED!!                                                              
11/10/15 - Passport received                                                
02/20/16 - Wedding!              


                                                
 AOS   Done in 77 days                                                                            
 

Spoiler

04/08/16 - I-485, I-765, I-131 AOS Application recieved by USCIS
04/12/16 - 3 NOA1's received in mail
05/14/16 - Biometrics for AOS and EAD
06/27/16 - I-485 Case to changed to "New Card being produced"  (Day 77)
06/27/16 - I-485 Case changed to Approved! (Day 77)
06/30/16 - I-485 Case changed to "My Card has been mailed to me!"
07/05/16 - Green Card received in mail! 

 



ROC 

05/09/18 - Mailed out ROC to CSC

05/10/18 - CSC Signed and received ROC package
06/07/28 - NOA1 

06/11/18 - Check cashed

06/15/18 - NOA received in the mail

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get a safety deposit box at a bank in your name only and put every document you have showing co mingling into it and put it in there. that way you have them and he can't get to them. I suggest this because he seems immature and he may try to destroy some.

 

good luck

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All of the above is very good advice. I have heard stories of people in similar situations ROCing just fine. Sadly, couples sometimes don't grow together. 

 

Also, it seems like you are confused as to why he is getting angry at you and turning things around. It's called "gaslighting". Do not let it get to you. Ignore him when he does it. It's easier for him to get angry, turn everything around, and confuse you, than it is to maturely accept some of the blame.   


K1 Visa Application:
129-F Delivered: Lewiston, TX 10/29/2015
NOA1 eNotification: 11/3/2015 (Sent to CSC - yay!)
NOA1 Hard Copy: 11/8/2015 | NOA2 eNotification: : 11/30/2015 | NOA2 Hard Copy: 12/4/2015
NVC Received: 12/10/2015 | NVC Case Assigned: 12/11/2015
Mailed to Embassy: 12/16/2015 (Status shows as Ready)
Received hardcopy Letter from NVC: 12/19/2015
Embassy Received Packet: 12/21/2015
Email from Embassy for Beneficiary Email: 12/24/2015
Replied to Embassy: 12/24/2015
Email from Embassy Regarding Packet 3: 12/28/15
Replied to Embassy: 12/28/15 (at night)
Email from Embassy Regarding Packet 4: 12/29/15 (in the morning)
Interview Date: Jan 13th @ 12:30pm - Approved!
CEAC status changed to admin processing: 1/14/16
CEAC status changed to issued: 1/19/16
US travel docs website shows "out for delivery": 1/20/16
Called by courier regarding delivery attempt: 1/21/16
Passport in hand:1/22/16 (he went to their office to pick it up)
Arrival date into the US: 3/09/16
Married: 06/04/2016
Timeline for AOS
AOS paperwork (including EAD & AP) sent via Express Mail: 10/1/2016
AOS paperwork received by USCIS: 10/3/2016
NOA1 E-notification Date (email and text): 10/5/16, ~11pm Central time, one notice for each application
Check Cashed: 10/6/16
NOA1 Hardcopy Date: 10/11/16
Biometrics Letter Received: 10/28/16
Biometrics Scheduled for: 11/9/16 (Did not try a walk-in, went on scheduled day)
EAD approved on: 11/16/16 (early in the day) / AP approved on: 11/16/16 (late in the day)
AP produced+mailed on:11/18/16 | AP letters (2) received on: 11/18/16
EAD card produced+mailed on: 11/22/16 | EAD card received on: 11/25/16
Social Security card application date: 11/28/16 | Social Security card received on: 12/27/16 (Ordered a new one at the office on 12/19/16)
Interview Waiver! (6 months and 2 weeks past the first NOA1)
Card Ordered notice (text and online): 4/19/17 | I-485 Approval notice (text and online): 4/20/17 | Card Produced + WILL Mail notice 4/27/17

Card Mailed notice: 5/2/2017

Green Card Received: 5/5/2017 

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Thank you guys so much for your advice. He is emotionally unstable and impulsive so I'm definitely going to hide the documents out somewhere to keep them safe. 

 

This might not be immigration related - if we have no kids or major properties together, is it necessary to get a divorce lawyer? 


08/13/2013 Came to the US on F1 visa

09/26/2013 Met my husband

11/03/2013 Started dating

03/11/2015 Got married at the court house

10/23/2015 Medical exam done

11/04/2015 AOS package mailed out by USPS priority (I130 & I145 concurrent filing)

11/06/2015 Packaged delivered to Chicago Lockbox

11/13/2015 Both checks cashed by USCIS

11/15/2015 Received text msg notification of receipts of I765, I131, I130 and I485

11/19/2015 Received NOA in mail

11/20/2015 Received biometrics appointment letter in the mail

12/04/2015 Biometrics appointment completed

12/09/2015 Case ready to be scheduled for interview

01/25/2016 Submitted online service request for EAD

01/27/2016 I765 case status updated to "New Card Being Produced"

01/28/2016 EAD officially approved and card has been mailed

02/03/2016 EAD/AP combo card received in the mail. YAY!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10/27/2016 EAD/AP renewal application mailed USPS priority

10/29/2016 EAD/AP renewal package delivered to Chicago Lockbox (Saturday)

11/02/2016 Online case status updated to interview scheduled for December 8th

11/12/2016 New medical exam done due to one year validity

12/08/2016 AOS interview and case was APPROVED, new card is being produced

12/12/2016 Received Approval/welcome notice in the mail

12/16/2016 Received conditional green card in the mail

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

01/31/2017 Filed for divorce (long story)

07/26/2017 Final divorce decree granted 

08/21/2017 i-751 with divorce waiver package mailed USPS priority 

08/28/2017 NOA/Extension letter received in mail 

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A divorce lawyer is not required to file for divorce. Check with your county clerk or website for the information you need and how to file.  Filing for divorce soon after receiving your conditional GC does look suspicious however everyone situation is unique and simply filing soon after does not automatically mean fraud or non bonafide marriage. As long as you can document what occurred you should be fine. It is completely reasonable to seek a divorce after coming home from a trip and finding out your spouse was unfaithful. 

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Yes, secure all your documents. Because in my experience my ex spouse burned all the documents. (Based on my EX and her Mom). Luckily, without seeing this its gonna happen, since I got here I always get a copy of each documents I had. As in everything! Because during our separations my ex tried to burned also my SSN, EC, GC STATE ID. That point I got helped from the police officer. Now, I’m on ROC with expired GC and expired NOA. I filed last Dec 2017 with all the proof. I’m planny to visit my parents and siblings for the first time in four years. Just so worried if I can return back here in US with I-551 stamp and expired GC + NOA without a problem? I know my ex is still angry about our separation. Can he do something againts me while I’m in my country? Like, tell the Immigration a lot of lies and everything? He was treathining me a lot of times (deportation). 

 

Anyone can help me and give some advice? Thank you all! 

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Old thread is closed to further comment.

If the OP wishes to update her issue, she may start a new thread.

The thread-hijacker just above may start a new thread, or get the correct response from many earlier threads.


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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