Looking to get a divorce or annulment from k1 wife. How can I protect myself.

[NikLR 13,220]

6 hours ago, Yanaris said:

All Immigrants think that in the US the streets are paved with gold.  

Uh no....

[Corey911 37]

Just now, thegreatwm said:

Well I guess the whole walking out thing was a bluff. She was just around the corner still with her bags packed. She's back home now with me because I can't just leave her out there like that. I'll see what happens.

Sorry, but it's still look like she has a plan. What does she want now?

 

[jeffkadrliktorr 99]

8 hours ago, Yanaris said:

All Immigrants think that in the US the streets are paved with gold.  

This is absolutely not true. How could you make a blanket statement like that, on a forum filled with immigrants. Please think before making such ignorant offensive statements.

Edited January 14, 2017 by jeffkadrliktorr

[TBoneTX 43,004]

Let's keep to the OP's situation, please.

[evapaula 230]

OP, have you posted as lespaulultra3 before? The story sounds vaguely familiar, but that previous long thread is deleted. It would shine a  different light on your wife. 

[Villanelle 4,121]

On 1/14/2017 at 4:17 AM, thegreatwm said:

Well I guess the whole walking out thing was a bluff. She was just around the corner still with her bags packed. She's back home now with me because I can't just leave her out there like that. I'll see what happens.

What an odd thing to say (youre going to wait to see what happens).. I mean you made this thread because you stated you were worried the marriage was a fraud and she may set you up for false charges. And now you are going to just sit back and wait to see what happens? 

Anyway- some of this has already been covered but its worth saying again. You can not make someone leave their home. And yes, it is her home- she has been living there. You can however leave the home yourself and go stay with family and friends until things are settled. This will protect you from false DV claims although I am not sure based on what you wrote that she would attempt that. It does not seem she wants a GC through you so I dont know why she would want one through VAWA. But you never know.

So to protect yourself you need to not be living in the same place as her. Again the easiest solution is for you to leave temporarily. Explain to her that you are going to stay at a friends/relatives and be filing for divorce. She does not have to remain in the US for a divorce to be processed. Offer her a ticket back home because its the right thing to do- unless she has her own funds to cover it. If she doesnt and you dont offer the ticket it most likely will come up in the divorce and she will ask for funds to secure a ticket back home in the divorce. You most likely will be ordered to pay for it then. So just do the right thing now- the sooner she leaves the sooner you can move back into your home. 

 

Its also worth noting if she wants to pursue VAWA under false allegations she does not need to claim physical abuse, she can claim 'emotional abuse'. There is nothing you can do if she chooses to file a fraudulent VAWA application. Your concern is only if she attempts to file based under physical abuse and creates a scenario where you are arrested and charge for abuse that did not occur- hence leaving the home. I know that stinks but its the only way. You could offer her a hotel room while she waits for a flight or the divorce as well. 

 

If you are not open to either of those scenarios I have known men that avoided a false physical abuse charge by simply turning on their cell phones to video record or audio recording when the woman began a 'scene'. Nothing about that is illegal. I suppose you can announce out loud I am recording this- but the point of recording is not to be used in court (where an issue of consent would be relevant) but for when the police ultimately come. They will view your recording and based on it most likely find you did not abuse her and have a better understanding of what was/is going on. 

[kareelina 42]

On Friday, January 13, 2017 at 9:17 PM, thegreatwm said:

No I think she intends to stay or else she wouldn't have tried so hard to come. She said all the right things before just so she could be here and from the first week she arrived, everything changed. We've been living like glorified roommates. I don't think it's fair that she can manipulate the system to try to stay here but I feel that this is what will happen.

Try to look for solution if you want to save this marriage, think of the culture differences  and her being away from her country,  always the first year is tough,  but if you are sure that all ways are blocked then divorce and move on. 

[geowrian 22,335]

5 minutes ago, Damara said:

If you are not open to either of those scenarios I have known men that avoided a false physical abuse charge by simply turning on their cell phones to video record or audio recording when the woman began a 'scene'. Nothing about that is illegal. I suppose you can announce out loud I am recording this- but the point of recording is not to be used in court (where an issue of consent would be relevant) but for when the police ultimately come. They will view your recording and based on it most likely find you did not abuse her and have a better understanding of what was/is going on. 

Actually, this is illegal in several states. Just announcing that you're going to record does not qualify as consent, either. Consent must be obtained from all parties prior to the recording. For example, in PA:

" Pennsylvania's wiretapping law is a "two-party consent" law. Pennsylvania makes it a crime to intercept or record a telephone call or conversation unless all parties to the conversation consent. See 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 5703 (link is to the entire code, choose Title 18, Part II, Article F, Chapter 57, Subchapter B, and then the specific provision)."

 

Dual consent recording laws by state:

http://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/state-law-recording

 

It's not just a matter of the recording being inadmissable in court - it can actually land you criminal penalties.

[Villanelle 4,121]

I appreciate your comments. It is a difficult subject because every state has its own laws. There is also a clause about 'reasonable expectation of privacy' which can make recordings legal even with out everyones consent. The OP can speak with a lawyer in his state or ask the local police if he has concerns.

 

What I suggested I have seen several men do and none of them were accused/arrested of any type of criminal penalties. Again the recording was not designed to be used in court (and yes I understand that doesnt mean its allowed) however when the police came to answer a possible DV call and one party had on cell phone video/audio a recording of what transpired (usually the woman acting crazy and possibly injuring herself and the man trying to avoid the situation and doing nothing wrong) they did not choose to pursue (if applicable) the man for recording with out consent but were more concerned with the woman attempting to commit a crime of a false DV incident. 

I also believe there is an exception to the consent law- (again state dependent) but if the person sees the device and continues speaking then it is considered that they gave consent. 

[Corey911 37]

I believe for last 24 hrs OP already talked to his spouse.

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

On 1/13/2017 at 6:26 PM, Daisy.Chain said:

Technically, I believe most airports do allow a translator (is you) to go with someone with a low grasp of the English language. I've gone back with my husband and his mom and sister on several occasions - and a good thing, too, as it turned out. I just bring my id and ask permission to help out. It takes an extra 15 minutes near the baggage claim gate.

Ahh, good to know. Thanks for the information. Unfortunately mi espanol is mal. I'd never be able to cut it as a translator for my wife or her mother. lol

[Dave-Bhel 84]

sorry to the OP that your going through this, I was told yesterday that we are over.

filed K1 4-11

she arrived here 10/19

married 11/27

told we are over 3/2

 

oh and the because...

my kids dont eat all the meals she fixes

my kids make messes

I forget my lunch 3 times

I fixed dinner when I got home instead of going to our room to find her

and lastly because I dont feel her sister who lives in the US likes me

[Rc123rc 528]

4 hours ago, Dave-Bhel said:

sorry to the OP that your going through this, I was told yesterday that we are over.

filed K1 4-11

she arrived here 10/19

married 11/27

told we are over 3/2

 

oh and the because...

my kids dont eat all the meals she fixes

my kids make messes

I forget my lunch 3 times

I fixed dinner when I got home instead of going to our room to find her

and lastly because I dont feel her sister who lives in the US likes me

 

I'm sorry to hear this. Maybe something can be worked out. Let's hope so. She does not have a green card so this is not her best interest. However, I am a little suspicious with her sister being in the United States. It makes me think there was a "plan." 4 months, no abuse and she wants a divorce? Suspicious. Again, sorry that you are going through this.

[Boiler 43,386]

I have seen many many similar stories, not exactly uncommon.