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Abuse K1 Prior to AOS

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16 hours ago, Ash.1101 said:

Yeah it's very good they did not marry. This will be a lot easier than if they had. 

It's best for her or him to get a ticket back home. You don't want him to try to roam around until he's illegal. You need to make sure someone gets him out of the country, I'm assuming she's not going to marry him at all and the marriage is off, so he has no path to the US that is legal. 

I'm pretty sure she could contact USCIS with the DV info and telling them what happened and that she is not going to marry him at all before the 90 days are up. 

Don't help him do ANYTHING. Don't help him with his social security card, Don't help him with a license. Separate him as far from yourself and your sister and her family ASAP. DO -NOT- HELP HIM. You are NOT obligated to in any way shape or form. The most help any of ya'll need to give him is help out of the country and healing for your sister and her family.


Also, try to help your sister understand he is an abuser. NO ONE should do that to anyone. NO ONE. Even if she loves this man with all her heart, she needs to leave him for the safety of herself and her child. If anyone touched my kid, I don't even know how I would respond, I know it would be angry and spiteful and not nice at all, but I would -never- bail them out, I'd most likely want them to rot in prison or be sent back to their home country. Which ever is worse.

I have tried.

 

He has been texting me all day the court put a restraining order on their own and he was allowed to go to NYC until his hearing on the 26th.  She is already making excuses as to why he may have done it blah blah....I see a weeding in her future.  I am staying out of it from now on. we are very upset.  the police told her if he is allowed home again they will contact child services.

 

K1

March 2016 
POE
September 2016
AOS
November 2016
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15 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

She needs to keep him away. If she lets him back in the house she may lose custody of her child. Her ex already knows what happened, it would not take much for her to lose her daughter. No man is worth losing a child. 

I have told her.  my entire family has told her...she says she wont yet she makes excuses for him...idk what else to tell her.

14 hours ago, Ebunoluwa said:

Why on earth did she bail him out ?

What about him being a danger to her and her child ?

 

He is NOT going to change.

 

Change locks, file restraining order and move on is what she needs to do instead of settling to be his punching bag.
I just don't get why she bailed him out. That's crazy.

the court automatically sets a restraining order because the police was out she didn't have to go yet they keep talking.  I wish I can do it for her but she wont listen :( im afraid for my niece...shes an adult but my niece is not.

 

 

K1

March 2016 
POE
September 2016
AOS
November 2016
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26 minutes ago, Venus said:

I have told her.  my entire family has told her...she says she wont yet she makes excuses for him...idk what else to tell her.

the court automatically sets a restraining order because the police was out she didn't have to go yet they keep talking.  I wish I can do it for her but she wont listen :( im afraid for my niece...shes an adult but my niece is not.

 

It sounds like she is displaying the classic, victim of domestic abuse tendencies. It's likely that the more you push against him, the more she will pull away from you. Look at this website and see if it can help give you some direction. 

http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/support-a-friend-or-family-member-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx

 

K1 Visa Application:                                                                                                                                                        Timeline for AOS
129-F Delivered: Lewiston, TX 10/29/2015                                                                                                                 AOS paperwork (including EAD & AP) sent via Express Mail: 10/1/2016
NOA1 eNotification: 11/3/2015 (Sent to CSC - yay!)                                                                                                 AOS paperwork received by USCIS: 10/3/2016
NOA1 Hard Copy: 11/8/2015 | NOA2 eNotification: : 11/30/2015 | NOA2 Hard Copy: 12/4/2015                   NOA1 E-notification Date (email and text): 10/5/16, ~11pm Central time, one notice for each application
NVC Received: 12/10/2015 | NVC Case Assigned: 12/11/2015                                                                             Check Cashed: 10/6/16
Mailed to Embassy: 12/16/2015 (Status shows as Ready)                                                                                     NOA1 Hardcopy Date: 10/11/16
Received hardcopy Letter from NVC: 12/19/2015                                                                                                     Biometrics Letter Received: 10/28/16
Embassy Received Packet: 12/21/2015                                                                                                                      Biometrics Scheduled for: 11/9/16 (Did not try a walk-in, went on scheduled day)
Email from Embassy for Beneficiary Email: 12/24/2015                                                                                          EAD approved on: 11/16/16 (early in the day) / AP approved on: 11/16/16 (late in the day)
Replied to Embassy: 12/24/2015                                                                                                                                  AP produced+mailed on:11/18/16 | AP letters (2) received on: 11/18/16
Email from Embassy Regarding Packet 3: 12/28/15                                                                                                 EAD card produced+mailed on: 11/22/16 | EAD card received on: 11/25/16
Replied to Embassy: 12/28/15 (at night)                                                                                                                     Social Security card application date: 11/28/16 | LOST IN THE MAIL
Email from Embassy Regarding Packet 4: 12/29/15 (in the morning)                                                                    Social Security card received on: 12/27/16 (Ordered a new one at the office on 12/19/16)
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Passport in hand:1/22/16 (he went to their office to pick it up) | Arrival date into the US: 3/09/16                    Green Card Received: 5/5/2017 
Married: 06/04/2016
Timeline for ROC
ROC paperwork sent via Express Mail: 1/24/2019
ROC paperwork received by USCIS: 1/28/2019
NOA1 E-notification Date (email and text): 2/4/19
Check Cashed: 2/6/19
NOA1 Hardcopy Date: 2/11/19
Biometrics Letter Received: 9/20/19 (Did not need biometrics)

Biometrics Letter Received: 10/25/19 (Biometrics Request)

Biometrics Scheduled for: 11/5/19 (Did not try a walk-in, went on scheduled day) 

Biometrics Review Completed: 11/6/19 (Processing I-751) - Online notice

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2 hours ago, Venus said:

I have tried.

 

He has been texting me all day the court put a restraining order on their own and he was allowed to go to NYC until his hearing on the 26th.  She is already making excuses as to why he may have done it blah blah....I see a weeding in her future.  I am staying out of it from now on. we are very upset.  the police told her if he is allowed home again they will contact child services.

Yep. A lot of states have incorporated this policy. Reason being is that in the past, victims would call upon police to save them from being abused and in only a few days later would allow the abuser back in. I now some states take it further. In Florida if there are repeated DV to a residence where the same people are involved then charges can be brought up on BOTH the abuser AND THE VICTIM.

 

As for the situation she is in. It is best for her to step back and reevaluate things. Here is the deal. Moving to a new country away from family and friends and culture and language is different than you are used to is about the biggest amount of stress and shock a person can experience. Many people cope and strive. What he has done is depend on alcohol. That is NOT a positive response to his situation. He is already here with no support system and no income. Now his difficulties to adapt and start a new life in the US are amplified because he has started a criminal record. That is going to make his stress even greater. Which will likely lead to more drinking. Are you seeing the pattern here?

 

I have personally experienced this type of behavior from your sister to the point to where we (family, friends, and I) had a long term friendship deteriorate to the point where we no longer have contact with her. We pooled all of our resources together to get her away from an abuser numerous times only to have her bring him back in later. The last straw (at least for me) was when she was living with him and he beat her and kicked her out of his house. The following two weeks my friends and I got together, took turns allowing her to stay at our places while we found an apartment for her and her son, pooled together money for the security deposit and first months rent and utilities (a sum of nearly $2500), furnished it with extra furniture and supplies we all had, and donated food. Not even two months of living in this place guess who she had sleeping over? When a couple of friends called her out on it she got defensive about it and told us to stay out of it. Stay out of it??? Ok, that is exactly what we did. She no longer had our help. That was more than 15 years ago and I can tell you that I haven't heard from or about her since.

 

P.S. She is also the reason I know about the police calling child services or bring charges to both parties of repeat offenders. We were with he after the upteen time the police were called to his house for DV. A female officer laid it down to her straight. She told her the officers are risking their lives when they respond to these calls and after a while of it happening over and over the guy feels like nothing will happen to them. After a number of times the victim has to start taking some responsibility and other people's life could be at stake.

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Cyprus
Timeline

Sad that mothers risk the life of their child for men like that.

Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

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Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
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Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
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First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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The sad part is my niece.

If he returns ill bring her to my house. 

 

For now the restraining order is court ordered and i dk how they will get around that

 

K1

March 2016 
POE
September 2016
AOS
November 2016
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Filed: Timeline

There is another issue here that you should be aware of.

If or when they decide to file for AOS his arrests/convictions will need to be disclosed. Depending on the particulars he may not be approved for a GC.  If he has one charge for DV it can fall under the petty offense exception and he will be OK to adjust. But depending on the particulars it may not be considered 'petty offense exception'. If he has more then one charge then he can not get this and will not be able to adjust. There are many factors to consider and because the abuse involved a child it makes it more complicated. All Im saying is he may not be able to get the GC.

Also once he has the GC (if it goes that far) and he gets convicted for DV AGAIN (which is most likely to happen) he can have his status stripped and be deported. They do not mess around with immigrants convicted of DV.

 

However the best advice I can give you to protect your family is to REPORT him when he does violate the restraining order. Your sister may not be happy- but violating a restraining order will make him deportable. 

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He was charged with domestic violence simple assault.  Misdemeanor.  Supposly the judge told him she can have the case closed.????

 

this is a mess....

 

there not married ...I don't know if she will marry.

 

 

Edited by Ontarkie
Removed personal information.
 

K1

March 2016 
POE
September 2016
AOS
November 2016
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3 hours ago, sandranj said:

If your sister insists to get married to the scumbag I would call DCF and tell them about the abuse  that your niece suffered, and probably DCF will take your niece away from your sister, she failed to protect her daughter and she  is putting her daughter in harm's way AGAIN. She should care about her child's safety and if she doesn't  care then be your niece's voice. Speak out against Domestic Violence!



I agree with this.

At the end of the day your sister is a grown woman making awful choices, don't let her choices affect your niece. Get your niece out of there, your sister may hate you for it, but it's not about you or your sister, it's about the CHILD involved.

And if you do take your niece, you let her know that she is worth everything in the world and that you understand all kinds of things are happening right now, but her mom is not in her right mind and that you would never want someone like that dating her mother or ever dating even her in the future, both of them deserve better but her mother can't see it right now. Let her know this behavior is not right, by her mom bailing him out and potentially allowing him back in the home she is condoning this behavior and setting an AWFUL example for her daughter. Tell her that this is NOT acceptable, and she should NEVER have to live in a household like that and you want to make sure she doesn't.

Be the mother to your niece that your sister isn't willing to be right now.

*More detailed timeline in profile!*
 
Relationship:     Friends since 2010, Together since 2013

 K-1:   2015 Done in 208 days - 212g for Second Cosponsor    

Spoiler

04/27/15- NOA1 Recieved                                                    
06/02/15 - NOA2 Recieved
09/22/15 - Interview       (221g for more documents (a SECOND cosponsor), see profile for more details!)                                            
11/09/15 -  ISSUED!!                                                              
11/10/15 - Passport received                                                
02/20/16 - Wedding!              

                                         
 AOS:   2016 Done in 77 days - No RFE, No Interview                                                                    

Spoiler

04/08/16 - I-485, I-765, I-131 AOS Application recieved by USCIS
04/12/16 - 3 NOA1's received in mail
05/14/16 - Biometrics for AOS and EAD
06/27/16 - I-485 Case to changed to "New Card being produced"  (Day 77)
06/27/16 - I-485 Case changed to Approved! (Day 77)
06/30/16 - I-485 Case changed to "My Card has been mailed to me!"
07/05/16 - Green Card received in mail! 

 


ROC:   2018 - 2019 Done in 326 days - No RFE, No Interview

Spoiler

 

05/09/18 - Mailed out ROC to CSC

05/10/18 - CSC Signed and received ROC package
06/07/28 - NOA1 

06/11/18 - Check cashed

06/15/18 - NOA received in the mail
08/27/18 - 18 month extension received (Courtesy Copy)

09/18/18 - Request for official 18 month extension
10/22/18 - Official 18 month extension received 

02/27/19 - Biometrics waived 

04/29/19 - New card being produced!
05/09/19 - USPS delivered green card! In hand now!

 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

~~One post edited to removed personal information and another post removed for the same. Please do not post anything that contains personal information. I understand you are trying to provide as much information to get the best and most accurate help you can. You can post the charge and any other details that do not identify him.~~ 

 

Mod hat off

 

I would forward any and all information you have to ICE and the local USCIS office that your sister lives near. 

I would also give your nieces father a heads up if your sister insists on letting that man in her house again. He has as much responsibility to keep his child safe as her mother. 

Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
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Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
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Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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