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JANETandLYLE

AOS not started/WIfe wants to go back Home

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My Wife has expressed to me that she wants to return to her homeland of the Philippines to live. She is terribly homesick, and has asked if I wanted to go with her. That is not going to work, so it appears we will be getting a divorce, and she will return to her homeland in the Philippines. The big issue here is she has either lost her expired passport from 2009, or destroyed it at some point. Is this an issue that we need to call immigration on, since she has no identification? I would have to assume since she has no identification, passport, and does not want to do an AOS, that she will be leaving the USA one way, or another. I have already told her she will not be able to fly out of the country without a passport or something from immigration. Any advice? Is this just going to be an issue that we need to go sit down with an agent at a local ISCIS office? Should I call one of the main offices and ask? IDK what to do. Dazed and confused. 

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She would need to obtain a passport from the Philippines embassy or some sort of emergency travel document they may issue in lieu of a passport; she won't be allowed to board an international flight without one of those two things. 

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Hypnos,, thank you so much for the reply. I am not sure where to start, but after trying to talk with her about staying here, I believe she just wants to go home, with or without me. I guess my next step would be to call the San Francisco Philippines Consult and see if i can talk with someone about my situation. I appreciate any and all advice. I'm just trying to let reality set in and realize what i about to happen here. :(

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I am Filipina too and came here last Dec. 2013, like her I am so homesick and want to go home too but the good thing is there is Facebook and I can able to talk to my family and friends whenever I want plus I immediately apply for AOS so I can work and go out everyday and have a life. Is your wife doesn't have any hobby that will keep her busy? Its been almost 7 years she have been here, by this time she should at least adjusts for all that changes happened in her life. The lost of her passport is not a big issue because she can go to the nearest consulate and request to replace it by submitting the supporting documents required. Well, I heard lots of stories that Filipina like me really get homesick because we are really close to our family but I hope its not too late to figure out what really matters to her because once she go home she cannot come back here unless you guys do the process again from the very start.

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Thank you for your kind words. I tried to really talk with her about doing the AOS, Unfortunately I believe she has been wanting to go home for even a few years, and just couldn't bring herself to tell me that, until i really sat her down and got to the bottom of the issues we have been having. Now I know, even though it is killing me inside. She seems no longer interested to do the AOS, get a job here, or have a child. At that point all she mentions is "I'll just go back in the Philippines!" The interest to be here is gone, as is doing anything further, although she did ask if I wanted to go with her. The reality is I work here in the US, and couldn't leave. Maybe she felt my lifestyle was going to be grandiose, idk. I tried to do all i could, but admit i didn't get the important things done like her AOS paperwork. We had some hard times, but i kept my nose to the grinding stone doing my best. I guess it just wasn't enough, and now I realize she sat way too much in our house. She doesn't expect much other than asked for a plane ticket home and some money to take with her. She never worked while here, nor had the ambition to make friends, get involved in the church, etc. It just seems that once she got here she never really liked it from the start. It seemed she did not want to embed herself at all in the surroundings. I feel terrible for the stuff I never finished, and it could have been a lot of why I am in this predicament today. I have been doing a lot of crying and realizing my mistakes, although I do believe its too late to correct them, now. At this point with her mind being made up, I see no option other than to be a man, and let her go back home. I will always love her, but the ball was in her court, and she still chose to go home. She did day she hopes I can forgive her. We are being cordial to each other, but now i need to figure out how to get her home. I feel a divorce needs to happen here before she leaves, but I also need to figure out how to get her a passport from the Philippine Counsel or some sort of emergency travel document, since she has nothing here. Surely if she isn't willing to move forward with doing a AOS, i'd think someone would step up to help get her home in regards to some type of paperwork. This all kills me, but I need to try and do what is right. For me, I didn't get things done fast enough. I hope she can forgive me, and I can also forgive myself.   :(

 

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Her passport expired back in 2010 I believe it was. Our 7th year anniversary would be January 19th, but at this point, I guess that is really moot. I believe she intentionally destroyed all her paperwork, including the expired passport (maybe out of anger?). She also had either a deep depression or mental breakdown. I'm not sure how to handle all of this. I just want to do what I can now to help her in any fashion. I have been preached to about leaving her sit too long in the house, no job, her feeling like a slave, etc. I guess i needed to hear all of that to really realize it all. She always told me she was fine and never really complained. I feel terrible that she was dealing with all of this, yet i didn't see it. She hasn't been much for communicating, so it has been tough to do much in regards to helping her. For the most part she isn't wanting to try. I have no choice but to let her go back home. Unless a  miracle came along, it's over. :(  Terrible day for me, finding this all out today. Trying to remain strong. 

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7 hours ago, JANETandLYLE said:

Her passport expired back in 2010 I believe it was. Our 7th year anniversary would be January 19th, but at this point, I guess that is really moot. I believe she intentionally destroyed all her paperwork, including the expired passport (maybe out of anger?). She also had either a deep depression or mental breakdown. I'm not sure how to handle all of this. I just want to do what I can now to help her in any fashion. I have been preached to about leaving her sit too long in the house, no job, her feeling like a slave, etc. I guess i needed to hear all of that to really realize it all. She always told me she was fine and never really complained. I feel terrible that she was dealing with all of this, yet i didn't see it. She hasn't been much for communicating, so it has been tough to do much in regards to helping her. For the most part she isn't wanting to try. I have no choice but to let her go back home. Unless a  miracle came along, it's over. :(  Terrible day for me, finding this all out today. Trying to remain strong. 

well she was out of status for a while and not allowed to work or get a drivers license. start the aos process and let her go out into the world and legally work and start to feel better about herself. granted after being locked up in the house ( figure of speech not literally I hope) for that long the damage may very well be too great to fix but you should still try.  this is a good example for others as to why one should not hold off on aos for too long.

 

good luck

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Filipina's do go home on occasion but normally it is considered a great shame to them.

She came here for a life to live and sounds like she has not really lived at all.

What state do you live in? Are there Filipino stores and communities near where you live?

Is she Catholic (80% chance LOL) take her to church. Does she has even one filipina friend who she sees in person at least once a month or so?

My point is she will probably adjust if you start doing all the things that should have been done 7 years ago.

Are you sending money to her family because I assume you are since she is not working. You will have to make a decision of whether to keep sending or not once /if she is gone.

Hope you can work this out but you need to get busy fast.

 

PM me if you like

Jim 

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Mind if I ask why you didn't file for AOS? With even just AP, she could visit home and would likely be much less homesick. And 7 years out of status? You risked her being deported because of a couple forms? You have my sympathy for how things turned out. However, realize that this is a hole you've dug for yourself. She was likely to be separated from you and be back in the Philippines eventually w/o filing for AOS. Overstay is ignored during AOS for the spouse of a USC, but I do not believe that applies once deportation hearings are opened.

 

Yes, she needs to go to her consulate to attempt to get a new passport. I'm not certain what forms of other ID they will accept, unfortunately. She can find out the details there. Once she gets the passport, she should be able to return to her home country. Hopefully she does not intend to ever return as I believe she will have a ban for her overstay at this point.

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Look maybe the mistake was that she stayed this long without visiting her country.  I feel her because I had the same experience. The problem is if she leaves she will be banned from US entry again.  So I think try to convince her or try to go to marriage counseling.  It will be very hard for her to work.  But I would find out what is her best interest and encourage her to volunteer in it just to keep her busy and convince her to wait for a few months to do her AOS then travel for sometime then she will feel better 

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