Does anyone else hate it here?

[Kygo771 0]

There are suburbs in the US too. Seems like the urban life is not for you.

[Aussieinsocal 6]

Thanks all for your feed back! Its nice to see that I'm not alone! Im feeling much better now. Im going to sit down and get a bit of a plan together tonight. I would LOVE to live on Portland. That is 100% where I 'fit in' so we will see if i can make some magic happen there!!! 

The Trump stuff. I know I'm over thinking it. It was just another nail in the coffin for me. I don't give many hoots about politics, everyone be kind and leave me alone and we will get on just fine! lol. 

As far as how I got pregnant!!! This made me laugh reading it all! Yes, Im a women and so is my wife! We did IVF to make these guys!!! Def not a dude in jail with a uterus lmao!!! 

Thanks again for all of your supportive words and encouragement. Christmas, I miss my family, scared about starting my own, yada yada... 

[Aussieinsocal 6]

2 minutes ago, Kygo771 said:

There are suburbs in the US too. Seems like the urban life is not for you.

I grew up in the central business district of melbourne!!! Ive only ever known city. My city is just much different than this one!

[Aussieinsocal 6]

1 hour ago, N-o-l-a said:

I wonder if you are having some adjustment issues and micro-focusing them on things like guns, gangs, and Trump supporters.  Often times when there are larger issues, it kind of manifests in this absolute hatred/fear/disgust towards smaller things.  I've been there and it is a common enough issue for people living somewhere new.   

 

As to California, yes you are there for your in-laws, but a state that they could easily visit but that might suit you better might be an idea.  I, as an American, have made it my life's goal to never step foot in California and have yet to meet a Californian that I am fond of.  (Relax a little Californians, it isn't a personal insult).  For me, my unexpected great fit and happy place came in a remote place 2 hours north of Fargo, which for a native New Yorker was an interesting choice, but something that works well for everyone in my family.

I 100% agree that this is what i think I'm doing! I actually contacted a place today so I can go and talk it out with a professional! I think i needed to get it down in writing to really see that there are bigger issues than what i see. Thank you for your comment!! It shows my thinking is on the right track!! 

[jostermacedo 52]

7 hours ago, Aussieinsocal said:

Good morning all! 

Ive lived here in SoCal for just over 2 years now and I HATE it here. Its not the area (Im blessed to live in a wonderful area, near great inlays and my wife has an amazing income, etc.) 

Its the culture (Or lack thereof) Everyone is rude and seems to be out to scam you for a buck. No one shows kindness or class. Work is so hard for me to get and now with the election i can't stand the thought of leaving the house for fear of having to deal with some moron Trump supporter. 

Im heavily pregnant and am dreading raising my boys (Twins) in this country, moving home means we have to start the visa process again so my wife can get her immigration to Australia plus the cost of moving nd wasted money of immigrating here. 

Im so lost and lonely. None understands whats its like to be here from somewhere (That i consider) better. 

 

Hi Aussieinsocal,

I don't know anything about South California, but we love living in Upstate NY. I'm amazed how people here in Buffalo are friendly and welcoming. We're living here for almost one year and half and we don't even think of moving. I'm working full time and also in school with two teenagers in high school. And while I can't say I'm a Trump supporter, I'm definitely a republican (even though I can't vote until 2020 :-) )

Hope everything gets better!

Joster

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

6 hours ago, SeanRN said:

As a So Cal Trump moron myself, most of us just keep our mouths shut, keep the bumper stickers off our cars and signs off our lawns. I can't imagine you get harassed too terribly often by Trump supporters in LA simply for leaving the house. But, perhaps, if you feel uncomfortable by our mere existence and proximity, maybe you should leave.

That is the truth about keeping your mouth shut and signs off your yard and cars. I didn't talk openly about my support for Trump here in SoCal because people would automatically call me a racist/xenophobe/homophobic. But in reality I have a Filipino wife, mixed race children, and I have a good friend of mine who we consider each other family who is a Lesbian and I was one of her matren of honor at her wedding. Also if you had a sticker on your car or a sign in your card it was almost certain to be vandalized. So why take a chance at that?

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

6 hours ago, Aussieinsocal said:

Excellent point! I need to remember that! Its gone from a small worry to full blown panic attacks when I leave the house. I know I need work on challenging some of my thoughts! I can imagine your wife shared several of my concerns! UK and Aus are so similar! 

My wife was originally like that as well especially when I bought my first gun after we got married. She had always known I like to shoot and had guns in the past. So it was an adjustment period for her for us to have one in the house. Goodness, you should have seen her when she found out I had bought another one without her knowing. You would have thought I had done something really worse than just buy a gun. Now she is totally fine with having guns in the house as long as all of them are put up and not loaded, and the kids know about gun safety. 

Just be glad you live in such a gun hating state like California, you would definitely freak out in the South due to people carrying. Just one of many reasons why I am moving back to NC, so I can carry. 

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

6 hours ago, EmilyW said:

We love it here. BUT... we always tell friends and family who want to go down the same route that America isn't better than Australia. It's different.  And there's the catch.  If you love what makes it different, you will love it here.  If you hate what makes it different, then it's not for you.  We were beginning to hate the 'nanny state' that Australia is fast becoming.  We like the freedom we have here, the smaller taxes, and the fact that - at least where we live - people have enormous get up and go.  It's inspiring for us.

We lived in Melbourne before we moved to Charlotte.  We had picked Charlotte based on political leanings (Charlotte went Hillary but the state went for Trump - the states has a good mix of both parties and I find that means we don't get too many of the crazies), lots of Fortune 50 here so plenty of employment opportunities, low cost of living, good wages, excellent education system, temperate climate, things to do (we're outdoor-sy and it offers alot for us to do), international airport.  There were alot of 'no compromise' principles we had when picking where to live.  Unlike you, we don't have a family that held us to move to a particularly city or state.

Having said all of that, moving here is a mother effing culture shock of epic proportions.  I don't think you can underestimate it.  I had always assumed Australians and Americans were culturally the same.  Nope.  Not at all.  And THAT takes getting used to.  That takes months, if not years, of acclimating to.  I still struggle when they do something that is so alien to me.  It's like getting winded on the regular.  

OP, message me if you need to talk.  I feel your pain because I could have written your same post when we first got here.  :-)

You are so right with the first paragraph and that's why I am moving back to NC. I am born and raised in Greensboro, another city that went for Hillary, but I love it there and my family is still there. That is one of the good things with NC is that there is a good mixture of both parties you have your more Liberal metros and Conservative Rural areas. It helps to balance the state out some, just make sure to not make NC a nanny and high tax state like the NE please. I do feel that the Assembly went to far with the bath room bill and that's something coming from a Conservative. 

At first my wife was glad we moved to CA instead of NC for my job, it was alot better for her acclimating to this country. Because here in the LA Metro there are alot of Filipinos, so it helped her homesickness. But now she is glad we are moving to NC for many reasons like above. The COL is cheaper, we can actually buy a house there, and we want to be happy not having to pay $500k+ for a decent 3/2 house.

[ximege 3]

San Diegan here too. I love it , not just the sunny weather , laid back life style , but also those scumbags. Our life is very interesting journey , it brings you happiness , sadness etc . so many twists and turns .  you were excited to move here, then feel disappointed  , pretty soon you'll be super happy to see your boys, but then later you'll get tired of changing diapers for them everyday . happy about finding a decent job, sad because problems with your spouse, coworkers... it goes on .on the final day, when you look back, you'll see what a wonderful journey you had--you cried, laughed , hurt, succeed , failed etc . you experienced everything the living creature needed to experience.  

As for those  "moron" Trump supporters , they are just finally have an excuse to express them publicly . Discrimination  ,  bigotry etc will always be there.we all have our little evils inside us.  "the peaceful loving heavenly-like world" will never exist. In fact. It is the "killings ,huntings" push our mankind grow. And in Trump's eyes, regardless  your culture background , race, etc.  we are just "working ants" for him. we're all the same to him.  

See thru the  complexity and the mystery of life , enjoy every element of it !

[USC1961 251]

What a shame that politics and

1 hour ago, ximege said:

As for those  "moron" Trump supporters , they are just finally have an excuse to express them publicly . Discrimination  ,  bigotry etc will always be there.we all have our little evils inside us.  "the peaceful loving heavenly-like world" will never exist. In fact. It is the "killings ,huntings" push our mankind grow. And in Trump's eyes, regardless  your culture background , race, etc.  we are just "working ants" for him. we're all the same to him.

Funny, what you describe sounds like communism.  *shurgs*  In any case there are "morons" on both sides of the aisle.  Sad state of affairs that all this fear mongering is going on.  

To the OP,  every place has things you will like and dislike.   Don't live in fear because of things you have "heard" about a certain place or groups of people.  If I were in your shoes I wouldn't be afraid to go out and mingle with the local community.  See and decide for yourself if San Diego is really a good place for you.  And if things really are how people describe them as being. 

In the end, you may find out that you really do hate Southern California.  Or you may surprisingly love it there.  There is no right or wrong answer.  It is all about what YOU like or dislike.  Not what others or the media may be telling you what you should like or dislike.  Good luck!       

[DaveTaiwan 10]

I grew up in Orange County, CA but haven't lived there since the early 90's. Southern California was a great place in the 70's and 80's but now it is an overcrowded ****hole populated by pretentious ****heads. No, of course not everybody but that is the mainstream of the culture of So. Cali.

I'm the American half of our family, but I haven't lived in the USA since 1999 and to be quite honest I feel like I too am going be an immigrant when we get there. 

Edited January 1, 2017 by TBoneTX
To remove scatological language.

[Unlockable 7,306]

You are only seeing a small part of the US. I have lived in the US all my life and have lived in and visited numerous cities. There are cities that I do not like. There are cities I like yet sections or neighborhoods of that city I do not like. There are states that I refuse to live in.

Also, there are countries I have visited that had cities that I was not a fan of. There are even sections of my wife's home town in her country I do not like. 

With all that being said there are plenty more areas you can live in that will be a perfect fit for you. Yes you can land in a city or even a job that you hate. But you have the freedom to do something about it. Plan ahead and research other areas. Maybe even take a trip to them to see how it is. Even if you decide to go back to AUS. Do what is best for you and your family.

[bcking 3,157]

9 hours ago, cyberfx1024 said:

Just be glad you live in such a gun hating state like California, you would definitely freak out in the South due to people carrying. Just one of many reasons why I am moving back to NC, so I can carry. 

My wife (UK Citizen) is very sad that we have to live in Texas for that reason. It freaks her out knowing that so many cars have guns, and that people can "carry" on university campuses, in some hospitals, in grocery stores etc... She lived her entire life without ever hearing a gun discharged in the UK outside of some target shooting (her uncle is an ex-olympic shooter) and driving past the army training camp. 4 years in San Diego (In La Jolla no less) and I heard guns go off at least once per year. 3 months in Houston (in the Heights) and I've heard 2. Different world.

[EMILIOJENNY 1]

So sorry....I live in california and I know is getting expensive and hard to find jobs.

Im waiting for my husband noa 2

And hoping he will get used to here...but really looking for job and house in other states.

Like idaho o arkansas.

Hope everything will b better

Blessings.

Jenny

[enw10 17]

Awww, I just wanted to throw out some support!  When I immigrated to Brazil I was miserable for like five years.  I hated EVERYTHING and cried and complained and just made myself and everyone around me miserable.  I also had babies here, so I can tell you that being pregnant and having infants is NOT helpful when you feel this way. I just kept thinking about all of the things that were better in the US.  And it was ridiculous things like "but it's 100 degrees out on Christmas!  It doesn't feel like Christmas!" and "WHY does everyone have to form a human wall on escalators and not let walkers pass!?!?!" Looking back, it's obvious that those weren't the actual issues I was having, but I just looked for every little thing that was "wrong" and just picked it apart.

 

After I let go of all of the crappy stuff that I just "couldn't deal with" and decided that I didn't want to be miserable forever, I started seeing all of the great things about living here. Now I've been here 9 years, and due to various circumstances we've decided to go back to the US (well, "back" for me... not for my husband)... I'm crying again!  I'm not even kidding, I keep thinking about things like the climate and the food and feeling rushed in the US.  I just looked at apartments and started crying because they all have carpet.  It's not the carpet... it's that change is hard.  Starting over is hard. Leaving your memories and your home is hard.  

 

So, after all that rambling and my entire life story, I just wanted to say to hang in there!  As rough as it is (especially pregnant!), try to let go of the bad things.  Think "is that REALLY a deal breaker?".  When you don't focus on the bad, the good will come. I've never been to California, but I'm sure there's some good there  I honestly think that no place is "better" than another.  They're just different.