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Dan&Carol

abuse from USC wife

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Friends,

i have a general query

my USC wife and her parents have been mentally abusing me for last 7 months. I have tried to maintain calmness and coolness till now.

just came to know now that her mother didn't approve of marriage since am not from same caste and cultural from india.

my wife and her parents have been threatning that they will call police if I don't comply to there demands.

when I was waiting for my ead/gc they wanted me to work on my SSN, to which i objected that its not legal and they scared me to call police or men from there cultural background and beat me.

now i have moved out away from the parents but they are still interfering in my marriage.

I have tried to explain this to my wife but she still wants to listen to her parents. now her parents wants to get her marrired to somone from her caste.

How do I get out of this situation ?

they will most probably delay my ROC to get me out of the way ?

Can I still stay here if my wife never gets my ROC?

please let me know my options guys

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If you already have your 2-year green card, you can apply for ROC without her. You still need to be able to prove that the marriage was bona fide, but you are the petitioner for ROC not her.

Good luck!

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What's your primary concern.. saving marriage, or saving green card?

Kieren,

I have tried everything from learning her culture and language.

take her out for long drives and restrautants every weekend.

when she demands sex give it to her.

wash her dirty clothes.

communicate openly to her after going through several online articles that most men struggle in this area.

she still wants to listen to her parents and let her control my family.

thank God that right around when I was waiting for my paperwork to be complete I gave interviews and got a job.

and the organization was ready to wait for me till i get my EAD in hand.

otherwise my meals were being counted daily.

i was disrespected and treated like a trash when there culture people would visit them.

and last week she went to her parents to see a guy whom her parents want her to marry since he is from same culture and caste(thats a big thing in india)

my friends informed me that the guy and her have been staying in same house with her parents.

honestly I don't trust her anymore after this. I came here for her. never looked at another woman God is my witness. but she kept walking over me.

am looking at this point to be prepared when she leaves me and goes away

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first off, call police for what? don't listen to their threats.

leave, divorce and roc on your own

honestly I didn't knew how they could manipulate and put me into trouble.

the mother and father would start howling and shouting in there cultural language.

the father would come to be in speak in broken english saying this is america. and we are US citizens and if we dial 911 police will come and put you in jail.

the mother would come and shout the same.

i was going through worst time in my life. when i got the job in diff state I just ran for my life and mental peace

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Kieren,

I have tried everything from learning her culture and language.

take her out for long drives and restrautants every weekend.

when she demands sex give it to her.

and last week she went to her parents to see a guy whom her parents want her to marry since he is from same culture and caste(thats a big thing in india)

my friends informed me that the guy and her have been staying in same house with her parents.

honestly I don't trust her anymore after this. I came here for her. never looked at another woman God is my witness. but she kept walking over me.

...... Snipped

Dude, really?

You don't need to post your private life here. You got enough good advice.

You don't need to tell all. This is not a marriage counseling site.

Good luck.

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Then divorce and move on.

Should have known the caste system issue problem long before going through with the marriage.

Can I still ROC if I give the divorce to her?

Merry, if I knew this is going to be a BIG PROBLEM I wouldn't have said yes in first place.

things were hidden from me and i was kept in dark from the beginning

the only reason I know my wife would go through this like bringing me here and all is to prove her mother that she won that part of battle.

and now parents want to get back at me through her and she doesn't realise that. sad

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Dude, really?

You don't need to post your private life here. You got enough good advice.

You don't need to tell all. This is not a marriage counseling site.

Good luck.

sorry guys to put you all through this.

you don't know the kind of mental stress I have gone through last 6-7 months.

and am really thankful for the good advice. i needed all help I could get at this point (you do hear my desperation)

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Can I still ROC if I give the divorce to her?

Merry, if I knew this is going to be a BIG PROBLEM I wouldn't have said yes in first place.

things were hidden from me and i was kept in dark from the beginning

the only reason I know my wife would go through this like bringing me here and all is to prove her mother that she won that part of battle.

and now parents want to get back at me through her and she doesn't realise that. sad

You can file ROC on your own with the divorce waiver.

Of course, you need to provide evidence of bona fide marriage like co-mingled finances.

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You can file ROC on your own with the divorce waiver.

Of course, you need to provide evidence of bona fide marriage like co-mingled finances.

what if she refuse to divorce me or accept the one I have given to her ?

we have an active joint account. does it count as evidence of co-mingled finances ?

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Dude, really?

You don't need to post your private life here. You got enough good advice.

You don't need to tell all. This is not a marriage counseling site.

Good luck.

Seriously you guys don't need to be rude.

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what if she refuse to divorce me or accept the one I have given to her ?

we have an active joint account. does it count as evidence of co-mingled finances ?

Do your research here:

http://www.courts.ca.gov/1033.htm

http://family-law.freeadvice.com/family-law/divorce_law/spouse-refuses-to-sign-divorce-papers.htm

You don't need her permission to file divorce papers.

However, she might put up a fight like asking for alimony .. etc

BONAFIDE EVIDENCE Example list for ROC

1. Evidence of Joint Ownership of Assets and Shared Financial Responsibility

Joint Federal / State Tax transcripts

Joint bank account statements

Proof of joint credit card use

Mortgage loan contract or lease contract with both partners names in it

Power of Attorney

Wills

Utility / Cable TV / Cell phone / Pets visit / Membership / Joint purchase bills

Life insurance policy showing spouse as beneficiary

Health insurance / Dental / Medical Bills

Car insurance

401(K) account information showing spouse as beneficiary

2. Photographic Evidence

Photos of you two together

Photos of you two with family (such as wedding, parties, kids graduation, etc.)

Photos of you two in various locations and times

3. Other Evidence in Support of Bona Fide Marriage

Birth certificates of any children born to you together

Sworn affidavits of friends and/or family

Letters/cards from friends and/or family

Vacation / honeymoon photos / Boarding Passes showing both of you travelling together

Hotel receipts with both your names

Other Misc receipts with both partners names in shipping/billing address

Joint Fishing or Hunting license

List spouse as each other emergency contact from employers

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