Am having second thoughts

[So fickle 9]

Hi ZoeUK1989, its so depressing to read about those four unpleasant experiences with the NHS. I am genuinely shocked to hear such horror stories happening in the UK. I know words alone cannot heal the psychological and physical wounds occasioned by this negligence and incompetence by the NHS but I hope that your mum has now recovered and gotten back on her feet again. I love my parents dearly and it would crush me if they underwent such a horrible experience

I am from Kenya and ironically people in Kenya regard UK hospitals very highly as 99% of wealthy people from Kenya who suffer from serious illnesses go to UK for treatment (the former first lady, a former vice president went to UK to be operated on and I know they paid through the roof (sorry I mean we the taxpayers paid through the roof for their hospital bills). I know a mate of mine whose mum also went to the UK to be operated on and given her husband is a doctor I can imagine the decision to have her get operated on in the UK was a professionally informed one.

I probably shouldn’t say this but this one time I got naughty while in coventry and drunk so much that I passed out on a multi level parking lot … some good samaritan must have called an ambulance for me as the next thing I know I woke up at the NHS university hospital in coventry/warwickshire… I had a good experience with them… they told me I had to spend the night in hospital as they could not risk discharging me as I was too intoxicated plus the nurses were really courteous and pleasant and that’s why I assumed that all NHS hospitals are nice. I know back home in Kenya if I passed out in the streets my wallet, phone will disappear instantly and I would be left there for dead. I also kinda get the feeling that the same thing would happen to me here in LA as I have seen plenty times people lying on the streets motionless and people just walk past them.

The thing about LA is that latinos are NOT a minority… the border between USA and mexico is in california after all so most latinos sneak in through california… I can’t say that ALL latinos are racist as I have worked with some nice ones (1 out of 5) and even the church I go to every sunday is predominantly latino and I sit amongst them… but there are those who are not nice…

I reckon they discriminate against me because of my accent… i don’t have an american accent nor a posh British accent so people just think I am a primitive African or something (I don’t mean to demean myself by those choice of adjectives)... I also feel like black americans discriminate against me because of this.

Secondly, latinos have this sense of entitlement... they consider themselves white (they have light skin and straight hair) and therefore have a superficial notion of superiority based on this.

Thirdly, i think they have been indoctrinated by the American system to look down on black people… if I am being honest the highest proportion of homeless people in LA are black and so other races might have a low opinion of black people because of this.

If i can explain it in the context of the UK… if you offered majority of white people the choice to either hang out with a black person or a pakistani/asian they would probably opt to hang out with the pakistani/asian I know this because sometimes when i got on a bus you could sometimes see people avoided to sit next to me and instead take a seat next to a pakistani/asian person. Now I am not somebody who stinks or who has dreadlocks or dresses in an inappropriate way. I dress formally but still people still undermine me because of my skin color.

Fourthly, its all to do with being territorial, since latinos are in the majority here in LA they want to impose their will on other races just to exert influence and show who is boss.

Lastly, I think they discriminate against black people because it gives them a sense of superiority and pride (to explain this let me give the example of apartheid in south africa - the whites in south africa segregated people according to three classes: first the white, second the colored which is asians and mixed race and then thirdly the blacks… so for example if a white person died they would be buried in a different mortuary from a colored person or a black person. Also when it comes to obtaining public services white people would be prioritized first then coloreds then blacks) I feel that its kind of the same here in America, there is an informal class system like that of apartheid south africa and this makes latinos look down on black people because they are higher than them in the pecking order. i don’t know if it makes sense

I don’t know if you have ever watched the tv show “come dine with me” for me its my favorite show because it encapsulates what people in the UK are like… its a country of different, quirky and lively characters - and even though sometimes the contestants on the show don’t get along they still take a piss out of each other so it makes life all the more bearable, here in America people are just dull and structured… focused on paying bills so work two or three jobs and have no social life at all…

Edited December 18, 2016 by butter pecan

[EmilyW 1,222]

I think you've had bad experiences that are perhaps not the norm. I'm a person of color and I've experienced none of what you describe. My children, who are mixed race, have not experienced what you describe.

Perhaps you should go and live in England. Funny story: when my English raised husband and I announced our engagement, the first reaction from his family there in England was sadness that I was not white. So quirky and lively, right?

Edited December 18, 2016 by EmilyW

[So fickle 9]

Hello EmilyW,

I mentioned earlier that depending on a person's race, income and perception of things their experiences will vary. I am not sure which part of the UK your husband comes from but I am shocked by what you have said. Even in America such type of negative attitudes exist (http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=96577). I think you have let your experience with one family cloud your judgement of the UK. There are families that are open to interracial marriages, I know this for a fact because I attended a wedding between a white British lady and a Nigerian man and both families were very delighted at the ceremony.

You mention I should go live in England, actually i would if the opportunity presented itself.

Even though I dint have 100% positive experiences in the UK, it was definitely a much nicer place to live in than here in the LA

Edited December 18, 2016 by butter pecan

[Jennie & Awal 1]

Sorry for those making negative remarks, I live in the valley area , Stockton Ca. I really would like to offer my friendship as I am sure when my husband comes from Ghana he will need some friends also and I hope others will be helpful and friendly. I am hoping your transition to the USA will go easier soon. I'm sure your accent is beautiful as I think my husbands is. Keep meeting new people and you will find true gems here in ca.

[So fickle 9]

Hi Jennie & Awal,

Thank you for your kind words and your offer of friendship. I am touched as its not often that people offer me this.

Congrats to you and your hubbie (husband) on getting married and I wish you all the best in your future life

I think your husband will have a different experience from me as you will be hosting him. I am in America by myself and do not have anyone hosting me so my point of view will vary from most.

You mentioned you live in stockton california which I presume is in northern california. It seems like a nice city judging from google images. I am sure your husband will love it there as compared to Africa there are alot of social amenities in california that one cannot enjoy in Africa & this is why I persist with staying in usa inspite of the negative experiences I have had.

Thank you for complimenting my accent - its made my day. You seem like a nice person and I wish most people in LA were like that.

[EmilyW 1,222]

Hello EmilyW,

I mentioned earlier that depending on a person's race, income and perception of things their experiences will vary. I am not sure which part of the UK your husband comes from but I am shocked by what you have said. Even in America such type of negative attitudes exist (http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=96577). I think you have let your experience with one family cloud your judgement of the UK. There are families that are open to interracial marriages, I know this for a fact because I attended a wedding between a white British lady and a Nigerian man and both families were very delighted at the ceremony.

You mention I should go live in England, actually i would if the opportunity presented itself.

Even though I dint have 100% positive experiences in the UK, it was definitely a much nicer place to live in than here in the LA

I would argue back that you are letting your experiences in LA cloud your judgement of Americans in general. As I said, we live in the South as an inter-racial couple with mixed race children. No problems here. Maybe you just picked a bad place to live.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

People die in the US from poor medical decisions too. The NHS doesn't have a monopoly on that one.

Just in case anyone is unclear.

[Pitaya 2,576]

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[TBoneTX 43,058]

Another post has been removed because of a comment about another member.

Because the thread has degenerated, it's now closed to further comment.

Edited December 19, 2016 by TBoneTX