K1 denied and humanitarian denied x2 .need help please!!

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Wasn't there a person on here that wanted to move to Canada instead as they have a system to rehabilitate people who have drug convictions overseas to move there? Would it be possible for her situation?

She's made it clear that the USA is her home.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

You can file for I-130 and go through the process , it will get denied then you can file a waiver. But I do hope you have a back up plan also in place.Good luck!

I hate it when ppl who get caught up to the past deeds come here to trivialize it like the laws should change for them.This issue occurred 2 times.**Rant over**

[yuna628 9,528]

If your husband successfully sponsored you for a spousal visa + your child, then he also passed the harsher financial requirements, and should have enough money as deemed by the UK government, to support you. Yes the economic reality in some parts of the UK is quite difficult, and there is a general hostility to immigrants, not just Americans. Though I do not find attitudes towards Americans overtly hostile. Think of how English feel when they move to the US for their American loves. There are thousands of US/UK couples who have been forced to make this choice. No one ever wants to leave their home, a piece of them will always be in their country. Likewise, you don't want to leave America, but nothing will ever stop you from being an American, or change what makes you American.

Despite this, I think you know the options that are before you. Drug charges are taken seriously here in the federal realm, even if some states are becoming less strict. Embassy's have to go by those rules. If that sounds harsh or unfair, that is not their fault. Likewise, people make choices and have to take responsibility for the consequences of those choices. Love often means sacrifice, but first you are going to have to personally figure out what it is you want to do with your life. If concerns regarding your parents are that strong (I sympathize as I care for my elderly parents), you're going to have to figure out how to balance getting them to a better situation before making a lifechanging decision. That sounds as if it's going to take a while anyway. And as a single mother, you also have to decide what's best for your child.

There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to find a job in the UK, once established, and there are always a need for medical staff and nurses in the NHS. It will take time, but I suspect your chances are higher than what many struggle with over there. I have known many in the UK that have had difficulties finding jobs in their fields (depending on the area of the country), even with high level degrees... but they did find work in other fields. Perhaps not for a lot of money, perhaps not full time. But if you are desperate for a job and desperate to have a life with a husband, one takes what they can get. Remember, you cleared only stage one of a lengthy visa process to the UK. Since you let that lapse, you would have to reapply all over again. You were not ready when you originally applied, and that is why should try to take a step back, reassess your life, and sort the situation out you have on your hands now.

I don't foresee a path for your husband, unless an attempt is made via a work visa with a waiver and it may be a hard go. Otherwise, the choice is: move to the UK or move to another country within the EU. However, it is an uncertain time in the UK, which may be impacted by the Brexit vote. If you don't want to move, or can't move right now... then it's up to you, to know what you want.

[NikLR 13,220]

As Ryan said, decide if you want a marriage or if you want your career. That will decide the rest of your life.

[Illiria 980]

She's made it clear that the USA is her home.

True, just trying to provide alternatives to keep her close to her parents but not having to split up. Ah well, hopefully her child can continue to have a relationship with him.

[RN1234 2]

Thank you all for your opinions so just for clarification if I did reapply for my husband as a spouse and then have him get denied I would still NOT be able to file an I-601 waiver for him? Is that correct??

I do want to stay married to my husband, he's a nice guy, but the years of being apart and having to raise our child alone has made me build a lot of anger and resentment toward him.

Yes he makes enough money for he U.K. Visa to sponsor me but the financial requirement is so low it's only 18k GBP per year which is like $30,000 per year! So yes he makes more than that but it's so hard for me to just get up and move.

I am 30 years old and California is all I have ever known and this is where I pictured raising my kid. The U.K. Is so backwards and their NHS sucks. It's not the same healthcare you find in America.

So since all of you say the only way for him to come to America is maybe with a work visa then I guess we can try for that but I don't know any company that would want to hire a man with a criminal background and then have to sponsor him and deal with all the waiver drama.

I also forgot to mention that I work for the federal government, I don't want to mention where but I have reached a high place in my career and I am so happy because this is what I have always wanted to do and now to leave it all is so sad. I guess you could say maybe I don't love him enough and yeah that's probably true. I am angry with myself and I should of been smarter but we were both young and didn't know!!

I have a 3 year old child to think about because California is all she has ever known also. She's in school and loves it here but once again she misses her dad a lot. She asks to see him nearly every day and I don't keep her away. When we got the visa approved like I mentioned earlier we only had like 20 days to move and I told the lawyer I couldn't do that so he suggested just flying out for a few days just to get the visa stamped and collect the BRP card so I did that.

Now I have as long as I want to move and FYI my child is a dual citizen she was born in California but through her dad she is also a British citizen so the uk visa was only for me.

Thanks for everyone's advice! I know this might sound dumb, but what would you guys do if you were in my shoes?

Also does anyone know of any websites to find a job that sponsors people for H1 b visas? What are the chases of my husband ever getting a company to sponsor him and Then having to reveal he has a past which could hinder the entire thing!!

[Ash.1101 1,755]

Just a note since you just posted it.

If you have resentment for your husband because he can't come into the US and you refuse to move, then your relationship will most likely fail even if he eventually gets here.

Lot's of people are nice guys, but your husband should be more than just a nice guy you don't really feel like divorcing.

Unless you didn't know of his criminal background, you should have known that having these charges would have caused issues. This isn't something that is going away, this isn't something that is changing. You shouldn't hold his past choices against him, it was a time prior to you and no one is perfect.


Did you only marry him because you were pregnant?

From your own post above, it doesn't really sound like the "fight" for this is there.




As for what would I do if I were in your shoes? I would move to the UK. The only reason that I didn't move to Canada was because my daughters father and I didn't want to separate them. If he wasn't in the picture or didn't exist or something, and it was a case of be separated from my husband for unknown periods of time or move to his country, I would have moved to his country, we would make it work.



You also have to remember, that guy has gone to three interviews to get denied. My husband (fiance at the time) called me crying when he was just handed a 212g for a second cosponsor, it wasn't even a denial. I couldn't even imagine how he would have been if he had been denied.


Sometimes life doesn't work out as planned, or how you picture it. Sometimes you need to let go of your beautiful dream to have a beautiful life.


If you want him there for your daughter, don't bring him in just for that. If you won't be happy with your own husband in the same location as you, it won't teach your daughter anything good. Some relationships simply aren't meant to be, and some parents are better off not being with each other, and some kids are better off not having the parents together.


Is he looking at all for jobs? This may be something he needs to do? It just sounds like both of you are kind of dead to the whole process now, which isn't going to help either of you.


I'll say I believe in your relationship, as long as you believe in it.

Edited May 23, 2016 by Ash.1101

[JFH 12,189]

I wanted to chime in because although I have no experience of waivers, I am in a similar but reversed situation. I am the UK citizen and my husband is the US citizen. Our plan was to live in the UK as I have a very good job. I have a master's degree and have spent many years in the same industry and I'm doing very well. My husband loves the UK (although he has never been). He loves the music and culture here. He's an artist.

But my husband has been permanently banned from the UK. He cannot even visit. Even when I was in the hospital last year about to face brain surgery he was not allowed to come. Because he has a conviction for theft from 1990. We were devastated but we have moved to plan B and applying for my spousal visa for the US. I will also be leaving a very good job here. I'm hopeful that I will find employment in the same field there but I have decided if I have to flip burgers at McDonald's then I will. That got me through university so I can do it again if I have to. I would be suicidal if I couldn't live with my husband.

We are having to make the best of a bad situation. My parents are also from two different countries and are divorced and I was sent back and forth between two countries throughout my childhood. It was tough. I'm not thrilled about moving to the USA but this is the man I want to be with. If I am denied a spousal visa (and there's nothing in my history to suggest I will be but I err on the side of caution) then we will look at another European country. Even if the UK leaves the EU I still have another EU citizenship to fall back on so there is that advantage for me.

I've reached the stage where I don't care what I earn, where I live, whether the weather suits me. It's my husband I want. And I'll do whatever it takes. My husband currently rents one room in a shared apartment. That's where I will be living too when I arrive. Yes, I had my own house here, garden, drive, etc. I enjoy my job. I have good friends. But I am leaving them behind for my husband and I would do it 1000 times over if I had to.

There isn't even a 15-year clause or a waiver for my husband to come to the UK. Our only hope is a change in the law by a subsequent government.

I made a vow to him - in good times and in bad times, in rich times and in poor times... And this is what I have to do.

I think you need to think about what matters to you. What stood out for me was you said your husband is a "nice guy". I work with nice guys, my neighbour is a nice guy. My husband is so much more than that. What is your husband to you? I was also concerned that you said you wouldn't have married him or had a child with him if you had known he couldn't move to the USA. Quite frankly, immigration is a privilege. Even with a spotless record there is no right to immigration. One of you would have had to move. You are resentful towards him that he can't and you are refusing to. You can't afford to be that stubborn on this path. You should have married a Californian.

I'm not going to say anything about your slating of the UK, the NHS and our justice system when you've never even lived here. Your husband did the wrong thing and this is part of the punishment. We don't all hate Americans. I'm sorry you got a raw deal from the system, so did I. But you need to focus on how you can make it work rather than spew hatred towards a country that you may well have to call home if this marriage means anything to you.

Edited May 23, 2016 by JFH

[yuna628 9,528]

Thank you all for your opinions so just for clarification if I did reapply for my husband as a spouse and then have him get denied I would still NOT be able to file an I-601 waiver for him? Is that correct??

I do want to stay married to my husband, he's a nice guy, but the years of being apart and having to raise our child alone has made me build a lot of anger and resentment toward him.

Yes he makes enough money for he U.K. Visa to sponsor me but the financial requirement is so low it's only 18k GBP per year which is like $30,000 per year! So yes he makes more than that but it's so hard for me to just get up and move.

I am 30 years old and California is all I have ever known and this is where I pictured raising my kid. The U.K. Is so backwards and their NHS sucks. It's not the same healthcare you find in America.

So since all of you say the only way for him to come to America is maybe with a work visa then I guess we can try for that but I don't know any company that would want to hire a man with a criminal background and then have to sponsor him and deal with all the waiver drama.

I also forgot to mention that I work for the federal government, I don't want to mention where but I have reached a high place in my career and I am so happy because this is what I have always wanted to do and now to leave it all is so sad. I guess you could say maybe I don't love him enough and yeah that's probably true. I am angry with myself and I should of been smarter but we were both young and didn't know!!

I have a 3 year old child to think about because California is all she has ever known also. She's in school and loves it here but once again she misses her dad a lot. She asks to see him nearly every day and I don't keep her away. When we got the visa approved like I mentioned earlier we only had like 20 days to move and I told the lawyer I couldn't do that so he suggested just flying out for a few days just to get the visa stamped and collect the BRP card so I did that.

Now I have as long as I want to move and FYI my child is a dual citizen she was born in California but through her dad she is also a British citizen so the uk visa was only for me.

Thanks for everyone's advice! I know this might sound dumb, but what would you guys do if you were in my shoes?

Also does anyone know of any websites to find a job that sponsors people for H1 b visas? What are the chases of my husband ever getting a company to sponsor him and Then having to reveal he has a past which could hinder the entire thing!!

The UK isn't some backwater or third world country. It has an excellent culture, some of the finest people, excellent education, and while an American may bulk at the care on the NHS it is something a lot of Brit's still would not trade for a life of our insurance systems. Life can be a little slower paced, but there is much peace and enjoyment to be found there. It's a different experience for every person.

What to do if I were in your shoes? Well, it took 10+ years of hard work and sacrifice for my husband and I to be together. He made the choice to come here because of the UK's immigration rules.. rules that you found easy to overcome. If I had been in your situation and such application was a success, I wouldn't have hesitated for a second to leave America and go to him. Don't think for a second that wouldn't have been hard. I've traveled much, but lived my whole life here. My parents are elderly, and my mother has cancer and other health problems. My husband had a soul-destroying, low paying job at an American-based company in the UK but at least it was a job, a roof to live under, free healthcare that was available to him whenever he wanted, many dear friends, relatives, and elderly parents. But now he has to start over completely fresh, and left everything behind. That was so painful for him, and I never wanted him to have regrets about it. But we love each other, love means sacrifice. We love each other more than anything. Immigration is a privilege that requires a high sacrifice indeed. That's what all of us have to do when they make that choice. It's a hard thing. To say that you are not sure of your love for him, and that your attachment to your country is more than that love - must mean there is something more to the dynamic of this relationship.

No one can tell you what you want the most. You have to decide for yourself. If you are angry, if there is resentment due to your husband's mistakes... that is something that cannot be helped now. You married him. You created a life with him. It's up to you what comes next. How does he feel, in understanding your situation? The right for you to stay in the UK under that visa only lasts for so long, there will be many more processes for you to go through in the future.

Edited May 23, 2016 by yuna628

[Unshakable Faith 493]

If I'm not mistaken, you can file a waiver simultaneously (possibly to two different locations though) because he's already been found ineligible. You just need to email or call the embassy to see if a waiver can be filed for him.

That may shave off a bit of time if you have the I-130 processing and the waiver at the same time. So if the waiver is approved already when he has his interview, he'd be good to go with an approved waiver and you wouldn't have to wait to be denied to file to waiver.

This is my understanding of the I-601 waiver. As long as he has already ready been found ineligible, if there's a waiver available, then you can go ahead and begin the process.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong?

[LionessDeon 2,060]

A three year old can easily move and adapt at this point in her life. She will be changing schools several times even if she never leaves California. Grasping for excuses with that one. You have a viable visa to UK to be united with your husband. That's a tough argument for a waiver hardship in my opinion, if he's even waiver eligible. I am skeptical to believe a work visa is a viable option if a K1 or CR1 is not due to his charges. Why would a work visa be any different? I am somewhat familar with waivers, but not an expert.

OP, to me its sounds like you just don't really want to go. Your heart is not in your marriage/relationship. I think you know what you want to do.

[Illiria 980]

Yes he makes enough money for he U.K. Visa to sponsor me but the financial requirement is so low it's only 18k GBP per year which is like $30,000 per year! So yes he makes more than that but it's so hard for me to just get up and move.

I am 30 years old and California is all I have ever known and this is where I pictured raising my kid. The U.K. Is so backwards and their NHS sucks. It's not the same healthcare you find in America. [\quote]

Ok two things here,

1) he earns less but the cost of living is less. So you seem to be thinking of it only in dollars earned instead of the quality of life and it is overriding you desire to reunite your child with her father whatever way you can.

2) if I was back in the uk, I wouldn't have to pay for health care on top of taxes, the nhs would have already paid for me to have two rounds of ivf, rather than having to either pay for it myself or continue paying for the cheaper iui even though it has a lower chance of working for me. I would also be getting all my medications for free as I have a lifelong condition that gives this benefit and any child I am lucky enough to have would get college tuition for free as we would be living in Scotland.

I am here for my husbands career, I decided not to persue a different field in his subject area as us both getting jobs in the same city would have been impossible. I have a career in something not related to my degree but that enables me to move country with him. I do this because being with him is more important than what I do for work or how much I earn. I love what I do now but my life isn't defined by it.

This week I am mostly missing my government mandated 5 weeks of vacation :-( I am actually considering asking my boss to give me a month unpaid leave every year during our slow time so that I can get a better work life balance.

Would I move home to the uk - in an instant

Would I move without my husband, my soul - hell no

I think that even though it would be better for you as a couple and for your child for you to move to the UK you should not move there because you will just resent it, him and potentially her if she ends up liking the UK more. Find a third country that you can both agree on and that will accept him with his convictions or divorce.

[Ash.1101 1,755]

A three year old can easily move and adapt at this point in her life. She will be changing schools several times even if she never leaves California. Grasping for excuses with that one. You have a viable visa to UK to be united with your husband. That's a tough argument for a waiver hardship in my opinion, if he's even waiver eligible. I am skeptical to believe a work visa is a viable option if a K1 or CR1 is not due to his charges. Why would a work visa be any different? I am somewhat familar with waivers, but not an expert.

OP, to me its sounds like you just don't really want to go. Your heart is not in your marriage/relationship. I think you know what you want to do.

^ this 100%

And shoot, my daughter would go to three different elementary schools if I move within a 5 mile radius of where I currently am. I'm literally two streets down from one school, one street down from another. Zoning for schools is incredibly tight in some areas, most people don't have the luxury of staying at the same school with the same people.

We're looking to keep her in this school until we can get a home and then her current school will work with her new school to make the transition easier. (She's special needs so it's not super easy to transition!)

Edited May 23, 2016 by Ash.1101

[Transborderwife 4,666]

A three year old can easily move and adapt at this point in her life. She will be changing schools several times even if she never leaves California. Grasping for excuses with that one. You have a viable visa to UK to be united with your husband. That's a tough argument for a waiver hardship in my opinion, if he's even waiver eligible. I am skeptical to believe a work visa is a viable option if a K1 or CR1 is not due to his charges. Why would a work visa be any different? I am somewhat familar with waivers, but not an expert.

OP, to me its sounds like you just don't really want to go. Your heart is not in your marriage/relationship. I think you know what you want to do.

I have to agree. I personally do not see what extreme hardship this situation would qualify forms to why she could not move to the uk.

[Ischnura 285]

I remember every single trip to the US, how the flights could not go any quicker for me. And I remember every damn awful return trip, crying on aeroplanes in front of bunches of strangers, it was heart breaking having to keep leaving. Every other year my husband deployed so we only got one year to get in as many visits as possible and we both felt the toll leaving and being apart took. Being military, he couldn't just up and leave the US for us to be together. After 8 years he decided to get out for me, for us, but the US Army has a period of time still where he could be called back up plus transitioning to civilian life isn't a walk in the park. So it was up to me, I felt. I left family - my Dad has overcome cancer 4 times and my Mum and siblings have been through a whirlwind of ####### - I left my little dog - I actually miss him the most - I left the best paying job I'd found in 7 years, friends, places and things I loved dearly and you know what, I have zero regrets. We fought for our relationship to overcome not only the distance but deployments, monster in-laws, cultural changes and all that jazz and I'd do it all again. The insurance for health care here is disgusting and most Doctors aren't much better. We move a lot with my husband's job. Our Son is very young and resilient. We actually have a house amount of furniture on each coast, one in storage and one being used. We do what we have to do for our little family and neither of us would give up at another hurdle.

I'm not mocking you in any way but I will tell you that long distance is not for every one. Some conquer more hurdles than others along the way but you'll never know if you're cut out for it until you make a damn good shot at it. Resenting your husband for mistakes that he really can't do anything about and an immigration system that is completely out of your control is just petty. Rules are rules.

There are health care agencies in the UK that would snap you up but, as said previously, the cost of living in the UK will never match CA so neither will the pay.