Next step

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Definately, we will look into it. Yes, I understand that my country is high in fraud that is why i wanted to be sure and hear what are your thoughts pertaining to our case. But I am still being positive. Being denied will not be a problem with us since we do not want to rush things for the consequences with just bring us down but we expect challenges and hardship with this.

Maybe since he is retired if you are denied he can marry you move to phillipines for the 6 months and you file dfc. Then this way you can get to know each other as well.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Does your country allow same sex marriage im sorry i suggested this not knowing if its possible

[htfaust 131]

Maybe since he is retired if you are denied he can marry you move to phillipines for the 6 months and you file dfc. Then this way you can get to know each other as well.

This is a very good idea to consider too! It's always a two-way street. I don't know what kinds of visas are available to immigrate to the Philippines, though, but I suppose a retired person could easily spend 6 months there, even as a visitor?

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

This is a very good idea to consider too! It's always a two-way street. I don't know what kinds of visas are available to immigrate to the Philippines, though, but I suppose a retired person could easily spend 6 months there, even as a visitor?

If its possible he can get his spousal visa rather quickly after filling directly at the embassy...now is marriage to a same sex person an option in philippines?

[Boiler 43,423]

Certainly he seems free to move and being retired has the opportunity to say spend the summer there.

PI does no do same sex, must be other places locally who do.

[Kim&Gary 15]

Thanks for elaborating and letting me have the full picture.

I wish you every luck and success in your relationship and in your life in general, but let me reinforce this message in a direct fashion: a K-1 visa is for the purpose of getting married to the petitioner in the United States. You must have that intention when you apply. It's not for see if you can live together, it's not to see if you love eachother, it's not to give you assurance of how you feel and to make your decision. All of that must be already decided when you make your application at the embassy. The consular officer will expect you to be as intimate as a couple that is 100% sure about sharing a life together. You are expected to know each other's life history and families, it has to be the whole thing. You need to have the intimacy level of a married couple, which is beyond passion and attraction, and if the CO senses you don't, s/he'll bust you.

I do perfectly understand what K-1 visa is and we both know what K-1 Visa is for. we both agreed to see if we really love each other and see if we can live under the same roof because we are just being realistic. I have read a lot of post here regarding the K-1 visa. Some of the post are about their relationship as failed when they have lived together. My country is different from US. Especially the culture, that is why we are taking extra measure to distinguish our relationship. We are sure about each other that's why he filed for the K-1 visa so we can get married and live together. I think, being realistic in all aspect will be such a good help. we have established a good relationship already and we strongly believe that our relationship is true, but that we just want to take extra step to know if we really love each other, not that we have doubts, but to see if things change after we've met. Everything have decided already before he filed for the petition. Our relationship is beyond attraction and passion so I do not see any problem with being realistic if things might change.

Try mentally taking the back seat of the car and evaluate what you are saying from an outsider perspective as far as the present state of your relationship goes:

"but we do not have any commitment or whatsoever because we both want to sure about what we feel for each other" (present tense)

When I said, we do not have any commitment or whatsoever, is that is before we have met each other so that we can assure that we are not rushing things especially that he was considering other guys. And right after we've met, we took some time before he asked me to be his boyfriend. I hope I made it clear here.

"It was around March when he decided to file for a K-1 visa petition" (it was supposed to be a joint decision)

It is a mutual decision. I used the phrase "HE DECIDED" because he is the one to decide to file for it or live here as I am amenable to what his decisions are if they are good with me too.

"to see if we really love each other and that we both really want to be sure of what we feel for each other" (that's OK as a relationship thing, but to file for a K-1 all of these need to have been sorted out already)

It has already been sorted out before we decided to take the next big thing. again, it's just being realistic. Even marriage fails sometimes, what more for a relationship? That is why we are just really being realistic about things. I see not backlash in this thing and I think couple's should consider it too even if they have a strong relationship.

"to see if we can live under the same roof" (a K-1 visa does not serve this purpose)

I do understand. But that's the reason why K-1 visa has 90 days of validity. And we want to use some time of it so really see what we got. Long distance relationship is not easy, and so does living in a different country where you'd have to leave your family and friends to be with the person you love, thats why we both agreed with it. So, instead of rushing into things and get married and at the end of the day, we are having problems, then it will cost more problem.

These statements rang my CO alter-ego's alarms. Please see the point I make here: there's nothing wrong with the relationship itself fraud-related, i.e. I can easily see the relationship is real, however you don't meet the statutory requirement of having a full genuine intention to marry the petitioner within 90 days of admission. The K-1 is not a "let's try it out and see if we really can/want to do this", and unfortunately there is no such visa.

I'd give it time to the relationship, and file for a K-1 once you are past that phase already and fully ready to marry and live a life together without second thoughts.

My best wishes and I hope everything works out! You're welcome to message me and ask questions anytime, glad to help.

[Kim&Gary 15]

If its possible he can get his spousal visa rather quickly after filling directly at the embassy...now is marriage to a same sex person an option in philippines?

No, sadly, same sex marriage is not accepted here.

[Ischnura 285]

If you're not certain of one another and, as you keep saying, not in a rush then why are you filing so soon? Take some time and get to know one another in person. What on Earth would you do if you rushed in to a marriage with someone you barely know, move to a country where you only know that one person and rely on them for literally everything and turned out you were two totally different kettles of fish and couldn't stand one another? Surely it would be better for you both to take the time, take a vacation together, live under the same roof for a couple weeks a few times a year or so and see if it really does feel right. You'll know as soon as he starts picking his nose or you put the loo roll on the wrong way. Little niggly things matter as much as the bigger things and they usually present themselves after longer periods of time spent together when you're genuinely relaxed around each other.

Just a thought.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

He was shopping for a boyfriend. He contacted a number of guys and then met each for a day and picked one. That is okay with you? Your relationship is not developed at all. One day together and you decided to marry? And presumably after he met you he went and met someone else. It seems like you are not taking marriage seriously. Why don't you slow down and get to know each other more now that you are exclusive? And spend a LOT more time in person together. You haven't even had time to fight and see if you can make it through.

If you already started the visa process, I don't think it has a high chance of being approved at this point.

[FxL 39]

Good day everyone!

i would like to share our story first before I proceed to my concerns and hopefully you can enlighten me regarding my concerns.

I and my fiance Gary met through an online gay dating site (gaycupid.com) we had our first contact around second week of october.

Since then, we did not stopped talking to each other. we never stop talking like as if our time now is just to talk to each other as we are both talkative and we share same interest and we never run out of topic to talk about which i think is really such a strong connection for both of us.

Moving on, after some time of talking to each other, He decided to meet me around second week of January 2016 and he also met some of the other guys he was considering to have as a boyfriend. (yup, that's totally okay with me since I think that is ideal)

Before he goes back to US, he finally made his decision of choosing me because he said we have a strong connection and that there is a spark when we were together compared to the other guys he have met during his time visiting here. Our time being together was two days, but it was more like just a day since we've met in January 14, 2016 around 2:00 Pm until January 15, 2016 3:00 PM so I guess it was just a day. Then there goes my concern.

My concern is that, we've only had a day or two being together. I was really concerned that the CO might find it not convincing that we have a bonafide relationship. We have 5 pictures together, but I feel like knowing that we've only had a day or two being together makes me wonder about our situation. Has anyone been through this situation before? I would really appreciate the response I would get from you guys.

With our petition, Gary provided ample evidence like, gaycupid.com is not an international marriage broker site. also, he stated on the form that we've only met for two days. Maybe I am just too concerned about it and Gary always remind me that it's okay and not to worry. we use the service of RapidVisa, but I kind of have doubts with their service as I saw some errors with what they did previously and that I needed to double check everything of what they did. I highly respect RV and what they do, nor do I try to ruin their reputation though.

Also, Gary is retired. I am currently 24 years old and he is 68, I saw some post here during their interview, the CO told them that they are just after the VISA and it was also because of the age gap. Of course, I think I could not explain my self if they say the same thing to me for I am not after the visa. If same sex marriage is allowed here, then I don't see myself applying for k-1 visa just to get married to my Gary.

What are the necessary documents that he needs to send me since he is retired already?

Thank you so much for taking time to read our story and for future help. i would appreciate it so much.

also, it is my first time to post so my topic might be out of place in the forum.

Thanks again,

Kimberly

I don't think the USCIS will accept your K1 visa since Philippines does not recognize same sex marriage. I read it somewhere, can someone site it?

Congratulations on winning the gaycupid bachelor !

God bless.

Edited May 19, 2016 by FxL

[Meg&Andrew 297]

I would agree with everyone else. I have visited my fiancé 3 times, for a month at a time. I honestly feel we could've used more time together, but unfortunately he took on a new job that will not allow him to leave Saudi and re-enter. So now we can't see each other at all, because I'm not allowed in Saudi as a single female American. That being said, We were together 2 years before we made the decision to do the k1. But like someone else stated, what happens when you get here and it doesn't work out? You've left all you know behind, and you are stuck in the US not knowing anyone, possibly no income, no way to even buy a ticket back home. I know these things may be hard to hear, but this is the harsh reality of it. There's no way I would agree to marry someone I've met for 24 hours. You wouldn't believe how many people post on here, complaining that they didn't actually know the person they met, and now they are in the US and seeking advice on what to do. Either way, good luck on your journey.

[JFH 12,189]

It's been said many times but I don't think the OP is getting it. The K-1 visa is not a "try before you buy" visa. The 90-day validity is not there to allow you time to see how you feel about each other. It's for the logistical planning of a wedding. When you file the I-129F you are supposed to be ready for marriage. All this "see how we fit" and "see if we love each other" is done before the petition is filed, not after. You need to be at the stage of a relationship where you are a couple that is as good as married except the legal wedding hasn't taken place. In the months before we got married my husband and I considered ourselves married as we had made the commitment and oath to one another. Although we weren't legally married at that stage, we had reached the decision personally that we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. The wedding was just the legal formality of what we had already decided.

I do think the matter of children is not necessarily out of the window with same-sex couples. Same-sex couples are able to adopt or become parents through surrogacy. This is another issue you need to be clear on. If you want to experience parenthood at some point, this man is not for you.

[Illiria 980]

I don't think the USCIS will accept your K1 visa since Philippines does not recognize same sex marriage. I read it somewhere, can someone site it?

God bless.

This is so not correct, uscis doesn't give a hoot what the Philippines thinks of same sex marriage.

[RaLoveMG 43]

Excuse me if my suggestion make you feel bad or being impolite to you guy. Example, if your k1 visa goes very smoothly and you get in the US , are you sure that you can be happy with him? Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 2 years before we decided to apply for the K1 because we have a lot of challenges and the things to work out together. I wonder how you can be in love with a man who were shopping a boyfriend like the food ? Honestly , it's a kind of pressure on you since he told you guy that he'd would picked you up if you made he fall in love. You guy look young and cute and you you have so many opportunities to chose the right one in your life. 44 years differences are a lot man. i hope you forgive me if I say something to hurt your feeling dear?

[yuna628 9,527]

OP: The problem with filing for a K1 is, that both you and your petitioner have made a statement to the government that says ''I will marry X person within 90 days of arrival on a K1 visa", not ''I will marry X person maybe.. once we figure out if we are a good fit perhaps 90 days of arrival on a K1 visa, if not oh well.'' That's a big commitment, as any marriage should be. Now, obviously a lot of people seem to want to use the K1 as a 'try before you buy' kind of visa - as afterall, even despite testifying to the government that you will marry said person, you're under no obligation to and can return home before the 90 days are up (but this is also how abuse of this visa can happen too).

Now.. I don't doubt your genuine affection for this individual, and I don't doubt your genuine desire to see how things work out between you two - but typically a person has already decided and knows for sure about their compatibility in living together and want to be in a relationship with each other before filing. I hope you can see how that would make a lot of persons skeptical.

The advice then I would give, would be the same to anyone.. whether they be gay or straight. Be sure. Be actually ready. This is a huge lifechanging step, for the both of you... but for yourself especially. Protect yourself in that, you should know your compatibility with each other before making that next step. If you don't want to rush, you have already rushed by filing for the visa. Yes, there has been 'love at first sight' cases, but this doesn't sound like that scenario is the same for you. It sounds as if you were on a list of potentials, and you're the one he picked. You like each other, but still have no idea if you're the right fit for each other. A day does not give you that. A K1 will not give you that. LDR's are not easy, but it gives you more than enough time for visits, and a lot of talking. But it's something that should happen before filing for such a visa. I don't know if you'll be successful, but best of luck.

Edited May 20, 2016 by yuna628