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End of the road discussion

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I realize that for the most part, this forum is used to providing information for couples beginning their lives together, but what happens at the far end of the journey?

Are most Filipina wives buried here in the US? Body returned to PI for burial? Cremains returned?

Probably no chance of immediate family members attending a funeral here unless they are already visa holders, correct? How do you notify immediate family members of the passing of their daughter / sister? Phone, email, FB, Skype, etc?

Don't really want to think about it at this stage (out of sight, out of mind) but curious as to how other members plan to deal with it.

IR-1/CR-1 Visa
Service Center : Vermont Service Center
Consulate : Manila, Philippines
Marriage (if applicable): 2014-05-17
I-130 Sent : 2014-06-23
I-130 NOA1 : 2014-06-25
I-130 RFE : 2014-08-11 (Wanted NSO Marriage Certificate, not LCR)
I-130 RFE Sent : 2014-08-14
I-130 Approved : 2014-08-27
NVC Received : 2014-09-15
Received DS-261 / AOS Bill : 2014-09-17
Pay AOS Bill : 2014-09-17
Submit DS-261 : 2014-09-17
Send AOS Package : 2014-09-19
Receive IV Bill : 2014-10-03
Pay IV Bill : 2014-10-03
Received Interview Letter by E-mail: 2015-03-20 (May 5, 2015)
SLEC completed: 2015-04-22
Visa Approved: 2015-05-05
Visa Issued: 2015-05-15 (221g for no CENOMAR!)

Visa Received: 2015-05-21

POE: Chicago 2015-09-14

GC Received: 2015-11-17

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
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Speaking for myself I do not care what happens, ashes to ashes etc.

My background cremation is normal but what then happens with the ashes? I know a few cases, one wanted them scattered at sea, another at a local beauty spot high in the mountains.

An individual choice.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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That is a good topic. :thumbs: It should be discussed NOW and not when it is too late. I'm moving that one up to the top of my bucket list to talk to my wife about.

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Adjustment of Status

AOS March 5, 2014 Submitted AOS with EAD/AP package to Chicago USICS

Delivered March 8, 2014 AOS packaged delivered to USCIS drop box

Accepted March 19, 2014 Text message with receipt numbers

Biometrics April 16, 2014 Biometrics completed

EAD May 23, 2014 Employment Authorization Document approved and went to card production

TD May 23, 2014 Travel Document approved and went for card production

Receipt EAD/AP May 30, 2014 Received combo card EAD/AP

Green Card Approved July 11, 2014 Approved, no interview. Went to card production.

Green Card received July 17, 2014 GC received without interview

Removal of Conditions

Mailed I-751 Dec 16, 2015 Submitted ROC (removal of conditions)

Received Dec 18, 2015 USPS notification of successful delivery

Check Cashed Dec 21, 2015 Check was cashed

NOA-1 Issued Dec 21, 2015 NOA-1 for ROC issued

NOA-1 Issued Dec 26, 2015 NOA-1 Received

Biometrics Appt. Jan 29, 2016 Biometrics Appointment Scheduled [Completed]

 

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After looking at your profile picture, I'm guessing that you won't have to deal with that issue.

Ya, that's very true :rofl: .

But others might benefit, and what if, God forbid, there is that terrible accident that no one wants to think about? Many circumstances are possible beside aging gracefully into the sunset.

IR-1/CR-1 Visa
Service Center : Vermont Service Center
Consulate : Manila, Philippines
Marriage (if applicable): 2014-05-17
I-130 Sent : 2014-06-23
I-130 NOA1 : 2014-06-25
I-130 RFE : 2014-08-11 (Wanted NSO Marriage Certificate, not LCR)
I-130 RFE Sent : 2014-08-14
I-130 Approved : 2014-08-27
NVC Received : 2014-09-15
Received DS-261 / AOS Bill : 2014-09-17
Pay AOS Bill : 2014-09-17
Submit DS-261 : 2014-09-17
Send AOS Package : 2014-09-19
Receive IV Bill : 2014-10-03
Pay IV Bill : 2014-10-03
Received Interview Letter by E-mail: 2015-03-20 (May 5, 2015)
SLEC completed: 2015-04-22
Visa Approved: 2015-05-05
Visa Issued: 2015-05-15 (221g for no CENOMAR!)

Visa Received: 2015-05-21

POE: Chicago 2015-09-14

GC Received: 2015-11-17

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Filed: Timeline

I agree things like this should be talked about beforehand. I do think it does come up on VJ sometimes but under the heading of create wills and POAs.

Everyone is going to have a personal view so youre not going to get more from the thread then you would by simply discussing this with your spouse. If one wants to be buried overseas then it should be laid out in their final instructions (will) and hopefully have provisions to cover the cost (life insurance). Also I would think one should look into briefly whats involved in that if thats whats desired to see the estimated costs and hoops to jump through ahead of time.

As for notifying the family this is something I have given some thought to as my spouses family primarily does not speak English. In case of an accident or death I do know a few family members that do speak English and how to contact them. Personally I believe the only proper way to notify someone of a death or serious accident is in person or via the phone. I would not send email or texts! However if that is the only way to communicate its better then nothing. But I would still send a text or email saying something tragic happened and set up a time to speak on the phone or skype... Unless the death or accident is sudden the family would know of the impending sickness and the seriousness of it.

You are correct the family would need a visa to come but this is something that shouldve been thought about when the immigrant moved countries. If you move to the US permanently then its assumed permanent means you will die here as well. Many do have plans to go back overseas to retire so this doesnt apply to them so much.

So I guess the best I can say is talk with your spouse about their final wishes. Make sure you guys are on the same page and do some advanced planning. Dont get caught off guard.

Anyway best of luck to you and your bride. Wish you both a long and healthy life together.

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Just the type of response I was hoping to elicit and many excellent points to ponder.

As I said earlier, I wasn't really thinking about the 40 year resident of the US, but more about a recent resident that passes too early. Should my spouse or her relatives desire her to be repatriated, discovering ballpark prices now would be a good thing to know. I can only guess how the customer service phone call will go, haha.

IR-1/CR-1 Visa
Service Center : Vermont Service Center
Consulate : Manila, Philippines
Marriage (if applicable): 2014-05-17
I-130 Sent : 2014-06-23
I-130 NOA1 : 2014-06-25
I-130 RFE : 2014-08-11 (Wanted NSO Marriage Certificate, not LCR)
I-130 RFE Sent : 2014-08-14
I-130 Approved : 2014-08-27
NVC Received : 2014-09-15
Received DS-261 / AOS Bill : 2014-09-17
Pay AOS Bill : 2014-09-17
Submit DS-261 : 2014-09-17
Send AOS Package : 2014-09-19
Receive IV Bill : 2014-10-03
Pay IV Bill : 2014-10-03
Received Interview Letter by E-mail: 2015-03-20 (May 5, 2015)
SLEC completed: 2015-04-22
Visa Approved: 2015-05-05
Visa Issued: 2015-05-15 (221g for no CENOMAR!)

Visa Received: 2015-05-21

POE: Chicago 2015-09-14

GC Received: 2015-11-17

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Cremation here in the states then shipping the remains back, or maybe you could buy her a seat next to you for the urn (sorry, could resist the humor) but I think cremation is going to be your cheapest route but will the family in the Philippines feel that they didn't get to view the body before burial. So many things to consider.

You can start here: http://www.philippineconsulate.com.au/shipment-of-human-remains-to-the-philippines.html and here http://www.casperfuneralservices.com/international-funeral-shipping/ or here http://www.vibha.info/united-states---international-funeral-shipping-services---dead-body-repatriation-worldwide.html

Shipping requirements http://www.nfda.org/resources/operations-management/shipping-remains

Get a quote http://www.us-funerals.com/funeral-articles/when-death-occurs-away-from-home.html#.VxQbbOTD_Vg

Edited by Greenbaum
Spoiler

Adjustment of Status

AOS March 5, 2014 Submitted AOS with EAD/AP package to Chicago USICS

Delivered March 8, 2014 AOS packaged delivered to USCIS drop box

Accepted March 19, 2014 Text message with receipt numbers

Biometrics April 16, 2014 Biometrics completed

EAD May 23, 2014 Employment Authorization Document approved and went to card production

TD May 23, 2014 Travel Document approved and went for card production

Receipt EAD/AP May 30, 2014 Received combo card EAD/AP

Green Card Approved July 11, 2014 Approved, no interview. Went to card production.

Green Card received July 17, 2014 GC received without interview

Removal of Conditions

Mailed I-751 Dec 16, 2015 Submitted ROC (removal of conditions)

Received Dec 18, 2015 USPS notification of successful delivery

Check Cashed Dec 21, 2015 Check was cashed

NOA-1 Issued Dec 21, 2015 NOA-1 for ROC issued

NOA-1 Issued Dec 26, 2015 NOA-1 Received

Biometrics Appt. Jan 29, 2016 Biometrics Appointment Scheduled [Completed]

 

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My wife hates bringing up anything about death. But I forced her to talk about it. Well she handles her own better than mine actually. She wants her entire body returned to the Philippines. Which will cost a fair amount of money $$$. There is more than enough life insurance to cover this for her. For myself, I told her to cremate me, give some of the ashes to my kids and bring the rest of me with her, as I know she will return there. I want to rest beside her when she one day passes away. I expect these plans in the USA won't matter though, as I expect we'll both live long enough to retire back in Phils. I'd like to get our wills written too, but she balks saying its bad luck to talk about such things :rofl:

K1 from the Philippines
Arrival : 2011-09-08
Married : 2011-10-15
AOS
Date Card Received : 2012-07-13
EAD
Date Card Received : 2012-02-04

Sent ROC : 4-1-2014
Noa1 : 4-2-2014
Bio Complete : 4-18-2014
Approved : 6-24-2014

N-400 sent 2-13-2016
Bio Complete 3-14-2016
Interview
Oath Taking

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Filed: Other Country: Philippines
Timeline

That is totally typical... the Filipina not wanting to talk about it... especially your death.

Looks like you are almost done with citizenship - cool beans!

Hank

"Chance Favors The Prepared Mind"

 

Picture

 

“LET’S GO BRANDON!”

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Philippines
Timeline

My fiance knows I want to be cremated if it happens that I die first. It is up to him what he wants to do with my ashes, i told him to do whatever it is that will give him comfort or would be easier on him. I have discussed this also with my family and they are okay with whatever it is he decides if it happens.

This is actually one of the things my fiance and i discussed before we got engaged and elaborated further after we got engaged. I think it's good to discuss this with your significant other so that we are at least somewhat prepared for whatever unfortunate event that might happen.

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09/07/16 - Biometrics Done!

12/05/16 - i485 approved

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That is totally typical... the Filipina not wanting to talk about it... especially your death.

Looks like you are almost done with citizenship - cool beans!

Well when your spouse is 17 years older than you, the idea they will die before you can't be a happy thought. And in typical Filipino fashion, ignoring what is unpleasant is an art form :rofl:

We're just waiting on the interview for her citizenship now. We could have applied a year earlier, but really wanted a break from the entire waiting on USCIS game. She got all the questions memorized already too, so it should be a cake walk for her.

K1 from the Philippines
Arrival : 2011-09-08
Married : 2011-10-15
AOS
Date Card Received : 2012-07-13
EAD
Date Card Received : 2012-02-04

Sent ROC : 4-1-2014
Noa1 : 4-2-2014
Bio Complete : 4-18-2014
Approved : 6-24-2014

N-400 sent 2-13-2016
Bio Complete 3-14-2016
Interview
Oath Taking

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Filed: Other Country: Philippines
Timeline

Well when your spouse is 17 years older than you, the idea they will die before you can't be a happy thought. And in typical Filipino fashion, ignoring what is unpleasant is an art form :rofl:

We're just waiting on the interview for her citizenship now. We could have applied a year earlier, but really wanted a break from the entire waiting on USCIS game. She got all the questions memorized already too, so it should be a cake walk for her.

We held off filing for about 5 months past the "git 'er dun" date, we were in the Philippines, then we moved east.

Whole process was fairly quick, only 4 months, bear was driving almost 400 miles just for the interview. Interview was about 45 days after biometrics, oath taking was about 45 days after that. Now it is get the U.S. passport and update SSA

Hank

"Chance Favors The Prepared Mind"

 

Picture

 

“LET’S GO BRANDON!”

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