What kind of wedding are you having / did you have?

[amicablebride 25]

I entered on the K1 visa on December 28th and our wedding is March 20th. We are doing a ceremony right at the reception venue. Approx 75-80 guests. I bought my wedding dress online. I designed my invitations using VistaPrint, mailed them all out last week. Got some replies back already. I bought centerpieces, guest book with fancy pen, card box, my shoes and garter and bouquet all online.

We are trying to book a minister but might get stuck with a JP. I just hope she can do the readings I already picked out.

So, in short, our wedding will be like a traditional ceremony, followed by a formal reception. However it feels really slapped together quickly, and there's probably a lot missing that I'll regret the day of. But we decided not to simply sign the papers because I've always wanted a wedding! I was afraid that if we waited months or a year after getting the marriage certificate and saying our vows... nobody would care! Including us. I felt like if we are going to do it, we might as well do it big. But this entire visa process has been emotional. It's hard enough to move. I've been crying off and on since August! It's hard to make friends and I do not feel like part of the family.

Like many of you, our long-distance relationship was quite rocky. In-person it was the best relationship ever, but apart it was the worst.

So while we were waiting for the visa, we didn't talk about the wedding. We were either fighting, or just trying to enjoy each other's company without me nagging about the wedding.

When I was approved for the visa, I came to the U.S. (from Canada) on a visitor visa two more times so we could work on our relationship and figure out if we SHOULD get married. Many of you don't have the luxury of doing that, so I can only imagine how rough that must be. After I entered on the visa, we realized ok, we really NEED to get married or else we have to do this all over again (or break up).

How do you plan a wedding when you feel rushed and alone? Like, right now fiance's parents and sister (same age as me) are having lunch and I'm just sitting in the bedroom writing to you guys! They never call me or include me. And I don't want to barge in and interfere! They don't jump in and help when I'm doing wedding stuff. They give me criticisms about things they don't like, but they don't help or get excited they did for the other 2 girls in the family. Maybe they think I'm just here for a GREENCARD or something silly like that.

My fiance works, I sit at home all day. I just want to quit planning the wedding until I adjust to life here. Invites are already out and they put down a $3000 deposit on the wedding... so I guess it's too late now.

Enough about my situation, I want to hear about your weddings!

[TBoneTX 43,018]

Welcome to the forum, and good luck.

[mdcatelli 16]

We got married on a yacht here in San Diego. It was a package deal, they provide the food and the non-denominational minister, and we just show up mostly. My MIL did a lot of the work for us, and I'm quite appreciative f that. It was a pretty stress free day. We didn't have a DJ as neither my husband or I enjoy dancing, so everyone was free to walk around, enjoy the scenery, and talk to each other. It was a relatively small yacht but all I needed for 36 guests. And it was certainly a lovely day for a sail around the bay (25 and Sunny).

Chin up! It will all fall together and work out. I hope you forge a better relationship with your in-laws at some point.

[Pitaya 2,576]

Welcome to the forum.

From our timeline comments:

We give our thanks to the Lord for all of the blessings that have been bestowed on us ! On 30 July 2012, at 4:30pm, at the Seattle Justice Center, my fiancee and I were married. It was a small and private affair. There were six people in attendance, the judge, us, her son, and our two witnesses. Afterwords, our limousine dropped the five of us off at the the Seattle Space Needle for a delightful celebratory dinner. On the elevator up, we met a couple that were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. They now live in San Diego, but were married 50 years ago today at the Space Needle. It only tended to add to the special feeling of our recent nuptials. What a wonderful commentary to a wonderful day! We feel so blessed to have been able to start with a dream of her coming to America, and now it has come to fruition.

To all of my fellow VJ travelers trudging the immigration trail, this wonderful, sweet beginning together makes all of the loneliness, the toil and hard work of our visa journey pale by comparison, and worth every second of that protracted effort. Hang in there, and support your future partner. Work together as a team, the results may astound you!

Our best wishes to all of you as we all continue on our immigration journey.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

Church wedding in Ghana...About half the church congregation showed up

it turned out beautiful

[Khal_Drogo 50]

We had three weddings.

She says two, but if I took my pants off and had to put them back on for it, I consider it it's own separate deal.

The first was the obligatory wedding hall ceremony, the legal part. We walked from the hotel to the wedding hall, which took us through the town center. Talk about feeling exposed, I was in my mess dress in a foreign country lol. Never done that before.

Then we had a rooftop ceremony where we stated our vows to each other. It was on a rooftop garden of our hotel in front of a fountain, and then fireworks and all that jazz, along with the reception.

Fast-forward a year, we had a vow renewal ceremony (mostly for the benefit of my extended family who could not attend our wedding in Bulgaria). We held it at an entertainment center that my Dad worked at the hotel for. That one we also considered our religious ceremony; we had a non-affiliated Christian pastor do our vows and prayers and such, it was pretty cool.

[AMZJ 60]

My fiance and I are both really interested in Japanese culture so have decided to incorporate a lot of this into our wedding ceremony. We are still planning at the moment but I've got my dress, we'll be wearing traditional Japanese wedding attire as well as decorating the venue with lanterns, cherry blossoms and origami cranes. I'm looking forward to it, it's unique to us and I'm really looking forward to the day.

[PandaSong 15]

We're doing the crazy thing and trying to organise an actual wedding (full blown ceremony and reception, plus the legal stuff) about two months after I get the visa. But we're planning on a church wedding at his parents city and using the gym there for a reception. I've already ordered my dress, fingers crossed it comes before the interview, and we have all the decorations bought. Caterer's and photographers have been researched and priced out.. plus a guest list has been made and most of them know they'll only have two months notice. Origami flowers for everything! Bouquet, centerpieces.. I'm going to be printing the invitations off on zazzle or vistaprint and then sending them off ASAP (they'll be mailed the day I get the passport!).

The gym reception wasn't really my style so I threw a bit of a fit and asked them to drape it so we couldn't see the ceilings and such. I think (hope) it will be pretty and there will be no regrets, as we don't plan on doing another ceremony until our 10th or 15th anniversary!

[JoBri 545]

Got married at City Hall in Quezon City, Philippines.

[amberammo9915 19]

I had two weddings, one is with the Judge and 3 friends , then 3 weeks after, we had the ceremony and the celebration with 100 friends. Yes planning a wedding is very tedious especially when we are not so familiar with the suppliers. My husband told me to hire a wedding planner but when I asked how much , I was upset because its so pricey so I decided to do it on my own. We had a western wedding at our shop/garage, i turned it into a barn with hay, sunflowers . Check Pinterest is will give you so many ideas. My husband wore blue jeans in white long sleeves with black vest and cowboy hat/boots ( he looked so sexy) as he does not own a slack and would never wear one. I wore a gown in beige and cowboy boots. My bridesmaids wore fall colors and the men in western. Before the wedding we served finger food then after the ceremony we served ribs, potatoes, salad , baked beans and corn ( cowboy food). Everyone was happy as they all waited for this day to come. It will be all worth it.

[NikLR 13,220]

We were married in Canada. I think I have a photo in the gallery. It was at a public park where I grew up, beside a wishing well, and only family were there. Basically just my Mom, who officiated, Stepdad, my sister and her sons, my Aunt and Uncle who I am very close to, their sons (and significant others), my other sister and her caretaker, my grandmother and aunt (which was a very welcome surprise) and finally my step sister and her family because she took the pictures. My brother wasn't able to make it because his close to term pregnant GF wasn't able to travel. None of my in-laws were there nor my husbands best friend because of work obligations or cost to travel. We really only gave people 2 months notice.

It was lovely none-the-less since it was spring and all the tulips and lilacs were out. There were ducks and swans at the park. My mom bought my dress for me and essentially my sister and cousin stood in as witnesses since neither of our best friends were able to make it. We went out for lunch at a fancy hotel on Okanagan lake. I had cake pops made to look like lilac bunches. My daughter was the "bubble girl." The only mishap was that I forgot our hand fasting tie at my sister's house when I changed there in the morning. Everything else went well. I helped write the ceremony with my mom and she continues to use a version of that at every civic (vs religious) wedding.

My husband wore a dark blue shirt with gray slacks. It was just simple and nice. I liked the lack of a reception and dance. It was great to just have a late lunch and then relax as a married couple that night. My husband did not enjoy his first wedding that was very catholic, very formal, and very traditionally big. I never wanted a big wedding. Being in BC made him want to retire there. He loves the scenery in the Okanagan.

[Chalandrae 29]

My Husband and I were playing on a civil ceremony, we were minded on not making any wedding plan until my K1 was approved. I once sent a dress picture to my mother in law and the best I can say if ; it got out of hand.

Why?

Because in January 2015 I traveled to NY and we visited my Mother in law. Her and her sisters went crazy on me on how I needed a dress for my wedding because if we did not do it yet it would be too late once my K1 was approved. Litteraly, I could not place a word in that conversation!

So, the civil ceremony kind of went out the window and hubby's mother offered to plan everything for us as the wedding would be in MD and not NY (All of his family is in MD and my parents are not able to travel as my mother is in a nursing home and is heavy case, so there was no middle ground to meet). We kept reminding her not to make too many plans ahead of my approval as we did not know if the visa would be approved or not. Of course, it went out the window and we had some arguments about the invitations not being send in May (My interview was may 15, NO WAY We were going to send anything before knowing if I was approved or not! )

In the end, we had a great wedding. Church wedding ( a lot of fans because it was humid as hell and our church had no AC! ), our minister was amazing. We were not able to meet her as she had an emergency the day we were supposed to meet, but she did a good job! She even included how we meet (through World of Warcraft) in her speech.

My Mother in law sadly had a stroke 2 week before the wedding. We had arguments with family on cancelling the ceremony, which we ended not doing (our wedding was on September 4th and my I-94 was expiring on September 19, it was cutting it too close for us, plus as we would have cancelled 1 week before the wedding date, on labor day weekend, No way we would have gotten any money back. My mother in Law recovered so much in 2 weeks and she was able to make it to our wedding and have a dance with her son! (We were ALL crying as she was dancing and went down the aisle, 2 days before doctors were saying she would not be able to go and they changed their mind the day before.)

Our reception was at a restaurant (Matthews 1600 in Catonsville, MD), the room was big and the food was delicious! A lot of people told us it was great. (We had open bar too, always help!)

Most of my bridal party were Hubby's relatives. I had my sister as a bridesmaid and my Brother walked me down the aisle.

Now, once we have more money (and after I received my AP), we plan on doing a small ceremony in Canada so my parents can see their daughter getting married. We plan on a small outdoor wedding with only close family and a Friend officiating.

[amicablebride 25]

Sounds a LOT like my situation! My mother-in-law is taking over everything too and our wedding (supposed-to-be-elopement) has turned into a full-blown $15,000 wedding :/. It's very nerve racking! In any case, that's good your mother-in-law recovered just in time for the wedding she worked so hard for!

We are about 1.5 hours from New York so maybe this is normal for mother-in-laws in the area? lol.

Ah yes, AP. I gotta apply for that too. We're planning on doing a small celebration dinner in July or August (BBQ in my grandma's garage decked out in Christmas lights ) with all the family that couldn't come.

My Husband and I were playing on a civil ceremony, we were minded on not making any wedding plan until my K1 was approved. I once sent a dress picture to my mother in law and the best I can say if ; it got out of hand.

Why?

Because in January 2015 I traveled to NY and we visited my Mother in law. Her and her sisters went crazy on me on how I needed a dress for my wedding because if we did not do it yet it would be too late once my K1 was approved. Litteraly, I could not place a word in that conversation!

So, the civil ceremony kind of went out the window and hubby's mother offered to plan everything for us as the wedding would be in MD and not NY (All of his family is in MD and my parents are not able to travel as my mother is in a nursing home and is heavy case, so there was no middle ground to meet). We kept reminding her not to make too many plans ahead of my approval as we did not know if the visa would be approved or not. Of course, it went out the window and we had some arguments about the invitations not being send in May (My interview was may 15, NO WAY We were going to send anything before knowing if I was approved or not! )

In the end, we had a great wedding. Church wedding ( a lot of fans because it was humid as hell and our church had no AC! ), our minister was amazing. We were not able to meet her as she had an emergency the day we were supposed to meet, but she did a good job! She even included how we meet (through World of Warcraft) in her speech.

My Mother in law sadly had a stroke 2 week before the wedding. We had arguments with family on cancelling the ceremony, which we ended not doing (our wedding was on September 4th and my I-94 was expiring on September 19, it was cutting it too close for us, plus as we would have cancelled 1 week before the wedding date, on labor day weekend, No way we would have gotten any money back. My mother in Law recovered so much in 2 weeks and she was able to make it to our wedding and have a dance with her son! (We were ALL crying as she was dancing and went down the aisle, 2 days before doctors were saying she would not be able to go and they changed their mind the day before.)

Our reception was at a restaurant (Matthews 1600 in Catonsville, MD), the room was big and the food was delicious! A lot of people told us it was great. (We had open bar too, always help!)

Most of my bridal party were Hubby's relatives. I had my sister as a bridesmaid and my Brother walked me down the aisle.

Now, once we have more money (and after I received my AP), we plan on doing a small ceremony in Canada so my parents can see their daughter getting married. We plan on a small outdoor wedding with only close family and a Friend officiating.

[Chalandrae 29]

Sounds a LOT like my situation! My mother-in-law is taking over everything too and our wedding (supposed-to-be-elopement) has turned into a full-blown $15,000 wedding :/. It's very nerve racking! In any case, that's good your mother-in-law recovered just in time for the wedding she worked so hard for!

We are about 1.5 hours from New York so maybe this is normal for mother-in-laws in the area? lol.

Ah yes, AP. I gotta apply for that too. We're planning on doing a small celebration dinner in July or August (BBQ in my grandma's garage decked out in Christmas lights ) with all the family that couldn't come.

My Mother-in-Law have 2 sons. The oldest one will NEVER get married (love him, but lost case LOL), so we were her only hope for a wedding in her family (Because you want to see your kids get married haha).

Yep. I might wait until my GC is approved ( if it is!) before going at I am close to my 180 days. I know once I-485 is pending it doesn't really matter anymore but we'll take the safe side.

[yuna628 9,527]

Our wedding planning started really a few weeks after filing the application. The first thing was really narrowing down what it was we wanted out of a wedding vs what everyone else expects you to do. The goal was to not give in to that and make it clear that our wedding was going to be our way or the highway. Bridal gear was all bought ahead of time. I used a lot of websites like WeddingWire to cross check reviews on venues and potential persons to use. Offbeat Bride contributed a great deal of confidence boosting to style ideas too. We used a local restaurant venue for our reception, and the adjacent park on a cliffside, overlooking the river for the ceremony site. No frills, no dancing, no music, a small guest list, and a tiny budget. Plenty of DIY. We worked with wonderful Etsy vendors for really specific décor. Color swatches were mailed to any guest in the wedding party ahead of time which was important because the wedding party all needed to fly in from out of state/out of country.

Every step of the way, I didn't make a decision without consulting my other half. Afterall, it was his wedding too. On the weekends I sent him out on wedding specific errands for me. I left him in charge of all the men's stuff as well as UK specific party favors. There were days both of us would be cranky and forget to approach planning the wedding without lightheartedness, and that of course was brought on by others trying to inject their opinions and control what we wanted. Our officiant was an absolute blessing to us, who understood the difficulty of planning everything while handling a visa process. She guided us every step of the way, and helped us write our ceremony. The venue and the bridal shop ended up being the two things that contributed the most stress of all. The venue was exceedingly unhelpful and caused me to go into full panic mode - thinking we would have to break our budget and change everything, until the last minute. The bridal shop lost and ruined(!!) several gowns, but I'd still give full credit to the alterations department that were a wonderful bunch of women who have all been through the immigration process one way or another. They understood the difficulty. The last thorn in my side was finding a photographer to work with that actually wanted to work with me (many just don't want you at short notice). I ended up finding an absolute dear that did a great job.

My sister worked with my husband to coordinate all the hotels and flights needed, and she also worked on the contracts for the vendors. So if you have someone who can handle many of these more difficult aspects to give the bride a rest, it's good to rely on them. The day of the wedding, it's also good to have someone by your side that has your back and best interests at heart, just in case there is any last minute input or nagging.

By the time my husband arrived here, the weeks leading up to the wedding were much easier. He helped put the kibosh on the meddling voices, clarified decisions, and helped put a lot of the DIY together. He also helped me approach things from a silly ''who gives a flyin' leap it's *our* wedding'' perspective. Of course the day of the wedding, the rain threatened to ruin the outdoor venue, but it thankfully held off until an hour later. Our best man came down with some sickness the whole week he visited, so that by that morning most of the wedding party also had it, and this bride had to walk down the aisle with the worst flu ever.

Despite those hiccups it all went according to plan. The bottom line, don't let someone else dictate your wedding. It's *your* wedding and not theirs, no matter whom they are or what they say. At the end of the day, what matters is the moment you spend with your husband (no matter how it's done or where it is).

My only regret was not wearing combat boots.