Visiting my american boyfriend with an ESTA for long time

[Oliviaka 0]

Hello everyone,

So here's my problem : I would really like to visit my boyfriend in Alabama from the 15th of September to the 9th of December. Than come back home (France) and visit him again from the 2nd of January to the 28th of March. Normally (i'm bad in mathematics) it makes less than 90 days each time (in case of problems with planes, or being sick etc.). So the first trip would be in 2016 and the other one in 2017 : does it help ? Also, I'll be there with an ESTA not a visa. So it makes things "more complicated" kind of. My boyfriend is Senior Airman in US Air Force. Do you think a letter would help ? If he explains them i have no intention of working, that if there's extra money to spend, he'll take care of it, and so on ?

We know that making a visa would be better.. But we need to know how's life together before doing it...

What can I do.. ?

[Georgia16 2,858]

According to the rules you can yes, but no one in here can say if you'll be allowed in.

[canadian_wife 1,791]

Your boyfriend as an Airman does not entitle you to visit the US. What ties do you have that you can produce?

good luck

[yuna628 9,528]

Hello everyone,

So here's my problem : I would really like to visit my boyfriend in Alabama from the 15th of September to the 9th of December. Than come back home (France) and visit him again from the 2nd of January to the 28th of March. Normally (i'm bad in mathematics) it makes less than 90 days each time (in case of problems with planes, or being sick etc.). So the first trip would be in 2016 and the other one in 2017 : does it help ? Also, I'll be there with an ESTA not a visa. So it makes things "more complicated" kind of. My boyfriend is Senior Airman in US Air Force. Do you think a letter would help ? If he explains them i have no intention of working, that if there's extra money to spend, he'll take care of it, and so on ?

We know that making a visa would be better.. But we need to know how's life together before doing it...

What can I do.. ?

ESTA is a pre-clearance background check. The VWP is what you'll be visiting under.

Now, here's the deal.. the VWP a wonderful thing in that it's good for 90 days, and you don't have to go through the nonsense of obtaining a visa like others do. However, there's some important things you need to consider: you need to be spending as much time OUT of the US and in your home country as you are visiting. Because while it's nice to keep visiting, eventually it starts looking like you're trying to spend more time in the US than you are home. I'd always encourage people, if they want to stay up to 90 days, to leave some wiggle room and after staying for a longer stretch of time, stay out of the US for a longer stretch of time. Say you successfully enter the US and stay 80 days. My suggestion would be to go back home afterwards and then stay out of the US until sometime later in the year. Don't try again for a while. Smaller duration trips also can be useful. Keeping your VWP privileges should be maintained at all costs. Because once they're gone.. well, then they're gone.. and you don't want that to happen.

But the bottom line is: it will be entirely up to the CBP at your POE to determine if you're getting in or not. And typically no amount of letter writing is going to hold sway. You must be honest to their questions always. If it's your first time, you may expect extra questions which you will need answers for. Always have a return ticket and travel insurance can be handy too. Other proof is really down to the particular circumstances you're in. Do you work? Are you in school? Do you have money that you are bringing in to support at least some of your trip? Do you have ties to return home? So no, I don't recommend a back to back longer duration trip like that. But a visit, sure that is possible, but it's up to the CBP.

Edited February 5, 2016 by yuna628

[JFH 12,189]

You are skating on thin ice there. Forget the two different calendar years, basically within a 6.5 month period you are spending all but 3 weeks in the United States. As a general rule, you should be out more than you are in. The VWP is not for people to live in the USA in 90-day (or near 90-day) installments.

Sounds like you have no ties to your home country. No job? No mortgage to pay? Why would they even believe you are going to return?

A letter from your boyfriend will do nothing at all. He should save his ink, time and paper. It's worthless. It's you they are interested in, not his letter-writing skills.

It's hard. We know that. My husband lives in the USA and until my visa is approved we have to be apart.

The VWP is a precious gift to a select few. Please don't abuse it and spoil things for the rest of us. If I can cope with only seeing my husband for a week at a time, every few months, everyone can. That would be far better for you - several short visits rather than one or two long ones.

I'm surprised you're doing a long trip when you don't even know how things will work out. What if you hate each other when you meet in person? You're going to be stuck far away from home. Let's hope you have a changeable plane ticket!

Edited February 5, 2016 by JFH

[Oliviaka 0]

You are skating on thin ice there. Forget the two different calendar years, basically within a 6.5 month period you are spending all but 3 weeks in the United States. As a general rule, you should be out more than you are in. The VWP is not for people to live in the USA in 90-day (or near 90-day) installments.

Sounds like you have no ties to your home country. No job? No mortgage to pay? Why would they even believe you are going to return?

A letter from your boyfriend will do nothing at all. He should save his ink, time and paper. It's worthless. It's you they are interested in, not his letter-writing skills.

It's hard. We know that. My husband lives in the USA and until my visa is approved we have to be apart.

The VWP is a precious gift to a select few. Please don't abuse it and spoil things for the rest of us. If I can cope with only seeing my husband for a week at a time, every few months, everyone can. That would be far better for you - several short visits rather than one or two long ones.

I'm surprised you're doing a long trip when you don't even know how things will work out. What if you hate each other when you meet in person? You're going to be stuck far away from home. Let's hope you have a changeable plane ticket!

First of all, we don't have the same life and problems. Yeah, you see your husband for a week a time that's sad. I'm with my boyfriend since more than a year, went 10 days in August and 9 in September last year that's it. That's how I know we won't hate each other. I've met his sister, his parents and the rest of the family. They all were really nice to me. Then, several short visits are great when you have plenty of money to spend on plane tickets. I don't. And I'm not crazy or stupid : I've asked before bying plane tickets. Thanks.

[JFH 12,189]

You asked for advice. You got it. It wasn't what you wanted to hear. Doesn't mean the advice is wrong.

I work very hard for my plane tickets. I do overtime. It's my absolute priority. I don't even have a car and I rent a small place in order to spend more time with my husband. You could do that too, just depends how badly you want it. If you can afford to be out of work for six months, you can afford a few plane tickets.

Edited February 5, 2016 by JFH

[HFM181818 748]

the VWP is a fragile privilege....CBP does not need much of an excuse to take it away from you....letters from BFs, the mayor, local pastor or even the Prime Minister have as much value establishing YOUR bona fides as someone who fully intends to depart the US when it's time and not take up unauthorized employment as 5 day old baguettes.

[mnlondon 0]

I have used esta and visited my husband three times. The first time I visited USA they checked my suitcases at the POE and asked me questions (some lady Here in UK wrote SSS on my boarding pass for security check) I guess that's why they had to do another security check in USA (maybe) and the second time I went right after a month with no trouble and the third time they stopped me for hours and I never went again thinkomg they will send me back home. Goodluck

[az2014 381]

What your boyfriend does is not relevant to anything.

What do you that you can just take 6 months off? Do you have a job?

Either way it looks like you have no good ties to your home country, which is a big reason to refuse you entry.

VWP is used for visiting - not living which is basically what you want to do.

[aaron2020 11,651]

To an immigration officer, it will look like you intend to live her for 6 months with a brief visit abroad. That could be deemed a violation where you can lose your VWP privilege and be denied entry. Your risk to take or not. Best of luck.

[QueenComley 295]

First of all, we don't have the same life and problems. Yeah, you see your husband for a week a time that's sad. I'm with my boyfriend since more than a year, went 10 days in August and 9 in September last year that's it. That's how I know we won't hate each other. I've met his sister, his parents and the rest of the family. They all were really nice to me. Then, several short visits are great when you have plenty of money to spend on plane tickets. I don't. And I'm not crazy or stupid : I've asked before bying plane tickets. Thanks.

I don't recall anyone calling you crazy or stupid. I do recall people offering you sound, well meant and genuine advice.

Edited February 6, 2016 by QueenComley

[Avery Cates 1,141]

Hello everyone,

So here's my problem : I would really like to visit my boyfriend in Alabama from the 15th of September to the 9th of December. Than come back home (France) and visit him again from the 2nd of January to the 28th of March. Normally (i'm bad in mathematics) it makes less than 90 days each time (in case of problems with planes, or being sick etc.). So the first trip would be in 2016 and the other one in 2017 : does it help ? Also, I'll be there with an ESTA not a visa. So it makes things "more complicated" kind of. My boyfriend is Senior Airman in US Air Force. Do you think a letter would help ? If he explains them i have no intention of working, that if there's extra money to spend, he'll take care of it, and so on ?

We know that making a visa would be better.. But we need to know how's life together before doing it...

What can I do.. ?

You can certainly try. Not great odds that they'll let you in the second time, you having been here for nearly 3 months and out less than 1. It's also very possibly they would, at the second attempt, cancel your VWP. Once cancelled you can never get it again and would need to apply and be accepted for a B-2 visitor visa.

Edited February 6, 2016 by Avery Cates

[HFM181818 748]

and if you lose your VWP privilege, I promise you that getting a B2 the week following will not be anything close to easy...because no one will believe a word you say.

[Dal&Rose 45]

Visiting France must be nice for a month... because that's what you are doing when you come to the States for 3 months and then come back again after a month away for another 3 months. By doing what you have proposed you are showing the CBP you have no ties to your resident country.

You have a slim chance of getting in the second visit, by the CBP not paying attention and not caring about our borders and laws. As a US Citizen, I would want that CBP to be pulled from the line.

I wish you luck. But also think about what might happen if your privilege of being allowed to visit the US so freely with a ESTA is withdrawn. Use it wisely, or you may loose it.

Edited February 6, 2016 by Dal&Rose