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Polygamous Montana trio applies for wedding license

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How quick we jump to demonize and deny rights to those with whom we disagree and then denounce others for doing the same.

Also of note how quick we are to jump on others who fight against those who generalize, but clam up real quick when said generalization is someone we don't like.

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.” – Coretta Scott King

"Oppressive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; does more than represent the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge." -Toni Morrison

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Be shocked, claim I'm generalizing, no worries. I stand fast by this one.

The same men who would want multiple wives would be the same man against women having multiple husbands.

There is NO WAY the man will love and treat all of the women equally. Period!

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Be shocked, claim I'm generalizing, no worries. I stand fast by this one.

The same men who would want multiple wives would be the same man against women having multiple husbands.

There is NO WAY the man will love and treat all of the women equally. Period!

What about one woman who wants two husbands or three women who all want to be wives or three men who all want to be husbands?

Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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Gotta say, poly triads (AND MORESOMES!) exist outside of these misogynistic archetypes everyone hears about. Just no one hears about them because they live in your neighbourhood, chill at your block parties and have to deal with custody agreements with their ex who's looking for a reason to take sole custody of the kids. I know several people whose parents lived in a household system of 'mom and dad plus girlfriend/boyfriend' growing up. Their parents just weren't married to the girlfriend or boyfriend. It didn't make anyone a house slave or a sex slave. It just meant that there were three parents instead of two. Or four parents instead of two. And rather than having 'mom, dad and dad's new girlfriend' and having split custody, it was three parents who actually got along and loved each other.

Abuse is abuse and polyamorous and polygamous families can certainly be abusive, but just as many or more monogamous relationships are abusive and yet we don't say that monogamy is inherently abusive.

Got to agree with some, but not all of what you are saying.

Why have someone in your house feeling sad about themselves because you give more love and attention to wife number 5 over wife number 2? Those women are used for sex and cleaning the house. And when the man gets tired, he can move to wife number 3 and neglect wife number 4 for ex amount of days.

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What about one woman who wants two husbands or three women who all want to be wives or three men who all want to be husbands?

I'm not for that either. Does that mean I'm going to stop it? Noooo I'm giving my opinion on the matter. Does that mean I'm not going to be friends with someone that is in a polygamist marriage? Noooo

Just because I don't agree with someone's lifestyle doesn't mean I'm going to treat them inhumane. However, I can still have an opinion on the subject matter.

Is it humanly possible to love and treat all of them equal is the main question I have? Will one be neglected over the other? Will one be getting more sex, emotional and physical contact than the other? Will one have more kids than the other? Just can't treat them all equally.

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Got to agree with some, but not all of what you are saying.

Why have someone in your house feeling sad about themselves because you give more love and attention to wife number 5 over wife number 2? Those women are used for sex and cleaning the house. And when the man gets tired, he can move to wife number 3 and neglect wife number 4 for ex amount of days.

I'm not talking about a household with one man and four or five 'sister-wives' who are ranked in order of beauty, seniority, number of sons produced. I am speaking of relationships where three or more consenting adults love one another. Sometimes they all sleep in one bed, sometimes there's not room. Sometimes two men are just really good friends who sleep together sometimes and one woman loves them both intensely.

The model you speak of, yes, there is definitely much to be desired. But it's not the only poly model.

Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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Be shocked, claim I'm generalizing, no worries. I stand fast by this one.

The same men who would want multiple wives would be the same man against women having multiple husbands.

There is NO WAY the man will love and treat all of the women equally. Period!

To be fair J, we can't speak for those men who do this out of the kindness of their hearts. I know how I feel about multiple wives, but in it's inception, it was meant to be an honorable thing. And there might be some men out there that did this for the right reasons. We might not understand them, but it doesn't change what they did.

You know, for us to be advocates of the down trodden, we have to be careful when we make statements. Unlike the rest of the lovely folks here playing checkers, you and I are playing chess. It's not the next move we have to worry about, it's the one 6 moves from now that will do us in.

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.” – Coretta Scott King

"Oppressive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; does more than represent the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge." -Toni Morrison

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

President-Obama-jpg.jpg

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I'm not talking about a household with one man and four or five 'sister-wives' who are ranked in order of beauty, seniority, number of sons produced. I am speaking of relationships where three or more consenting adults love one another. Sometimes they all sleep in one bed, sometimes there's not room. Sometimes two men are just really good friends who sleep together sometimes and one woman loves them both intensely.

The model you speak of, yes, there is definitely much to be desired. But it's not the only poly model.

But we know this is the model they will want to legal in the U.S.

If friends want to live together and help raise each other's kids, I'm for it. The old saying used to be it takes a village to raise a child. It doesn't take all of them getting married to do this. Again, if people want to, I'm not going to stop them. It's just my opinion.

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To be fair J, we can't speak for those men who do this out of the kindness of their hearts. I know how I feel about multiple wives, but in it's inception, it was meant to be an honorable thing. And there might be some men out there that did this for the right reasons. We might not understand them, but it doesn't change what they did.

You know, for us to be advocates of the down trodden, we have to be careful when we make statements. Unlike the rest of the lovely folks here playing checkers, you and I are playing chess. It's not the next move we have to worry about, it's the one 6 moves from now that will do us in.

I hear what you are saying, but I'm not backing out on this one. I understand there might be serious reasons why a man may need more than one wife, but there are a lot of situations where this is not the case.

Can the man treat all of these women with the same love, care, respect, honor, commitment, gentleness, emotional support, physical support, kindness and love?

Please answer this Marv.....

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But we know this is the model they will want to legal in the U.S.

If friends want to live together and help raise each other's kids, I'm for it. The old saying used to be it takes a village to raise a child. It doesn't take all of them getting married to do this. Again, if people want to, I'm not going to stop them. It's just my opinion.

Poly marriages could not work in the current legal framework of the united states. That being said, it's not that they shouldn't and it frankly doesn't matter what model they want legal. Thankfully, same sex marriage is now legal, which means that if they did, they could not control which 'model' was legal. If they ever say 'more than two consenting adults may marry' then the heterocentrist polygyny model will not be the only one legalized, fortunately.

It doesn't take getting married, no. But it does complicate things when they aren't. Say, for example, that a woman has two male life partners. They share a bed. They share sex. They share their lives, their budgets, their house. They have a baby. They do not know which man is the father. They then have to either a) have a DNA test done or b) select one man to be on the birth certificate or c) select no man to be on the birth certificate. With a or b, one man has no parental rights over the child--this includes possibly not being able to pick up the child they are all raising together at school, not being able to take the child to doctor's appointments, worrying about taking the child to soccer practice on his own lest the child be injured and he have to take the child to the hospital and then he has no authority to make any decision for the child. In option c, both men have to worry about that.

Additionally, let's say that, as this family of two men, one woman, grows older, they have bought a house together. Well, because of the various laws of the area, two names are on the deed. Man X and the woman. Man Y lives there, contributes to the mortgage and bills and everything else. Man X and Woman are in a car wreck. Man X dies, Woman is in a coma and not expected to recover. Man Y has no rights to the house. If he's not married to Woman, he has no right to see her in hospital. Etc. Living wills can be overturned by families, wills can be overturned and Man Y, with no legal kinship to Woman or Man X, even if he was in their wills, has to pay inheritance taxes.

It's actually very similar problems to what happened with same sex couples for the past however long. While we could certainly live together and raise children together, certain things came with a certain level of anxiety. Poly people will continue living with that for a long time.

I, personally, think the answer is for family units to be able to incorporate, but that's a whole other story. The current model is set up for a two-adult household and does not allow for non-related-multi-adult households to live as freely and easily.

And again, this is NOT to minimize the abuse that occurs in a lot of the polygamous cults, for example. That abuse is very real and very problematic and needs to be thoroughly addressed, but abuse is abuse and poly families are not inherently abusive. They can be. But so can any family.

Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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I hear what you are saying, but I'm not backing out on this one. I understand there might be serious reasons why a man may need more than one wife, but there are a lot of situations where this is not the case.

Can the man treat all of these women with the same love, care, respect, honor, commitment, gentleness, emotional support, physical support, kindness and love?

Please answer this Marv.....

I can't answer this. Because I'm not married to two women. My time in Malaysia, I've seen men and women that were a part of this. Some had better experiences than others.

My take? Depending on the religion rules, I think the roles of the wives are separated. First Wife gets most dibs, Second Wife and so on, not so much. The biggest thing would be taking care of their needs, financially.

In Islam, it's more of a job than a marriage. You'd do it if a woman's man was killed in war, or if your wife couldn't bear you children, or to support a poor woman in the village.

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.” – Coretta Scott King

"Oppressive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; does more than represent the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge." -Toni Morrison

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

President-Obama-jpg.jpg

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How about state your opinion and why instead of just attacking someone else for an opinion you think they have?

Your joking right lol. It's the only way the muddy ditch knows how to roll

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Your joking right lol. It's the only way the muddy ditch knows how to roll

Right back at you(pun intended).

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.” – Coretta Scott King

"Oppressive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; does more than represent the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge." -Toni Morrison

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

President-Obama-jpg.jpg

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Right back at you(pun intended).

I was not talking about you. You can't be a liberal cause your black

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I was not talking about you. You can't be a liberal cause your black

Technically, you're correct. Black people in general lean towards conservative values. But I'm still reporting you for racism. It's one of the perks...

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.” – Coretta Scott King

"Oppressive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; does more than represent the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge." -Toni Morrison

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

President-Obama-jpg.jpg

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