Things went badly for us, she wants to leave after being here 1 week

[NataliaLin 18]

I am so thankful for all the support we have received from everyone on Visa Journey! We spent a lot of time discussing everything about her decision, we read everyone's posts, and my Maria did decide it was way too soon to leave the USA!

So, she has decided to stay and work thru the homesickness and keep her mind on her and I... I am so happy because without the input of everyone who took the time to leave such positive comments, I'm not sure what the outcome might have been..

I even got a deal on the airline cancellation! I was only charged $25 to cancel the flight! WOW!

Thank you everyone once again!

Really happy to hear that! if you two really meant for each other, stay strong!! Only together you two can figure it out and got over the problem! like I said before, if after a while she still can't adjust that would be another case. but for now, it will be only the stage of adjustment of a new place, new life.

Wish you two the best!!

And lucky you! because they use to cost around 200$ or sometimes can't even be done to cancelled!

[TBoneTX 43,040]

Things tend to happen for a reason.

[Hairball 11]

I would like to offer my 2 cents......This happened to me, but reversed....

I am a global traveler, and had the chance to be a expat in many countries.

I moved from the USA to Ukraine to be with my woman. Maidan had protesters, the east was being invaded by "men in green" Crimea was becoming a mess. I have never been to a FSU country in my travels.......WOW!! ....Culture shock!!!

The opposite side of the world, NO ONE SPEAKS ENGLISH where I landed...( I now live in Kyiv ).....They use a different alphabet, food tasted different, customs were different.....every aspect of my life had changed..... I could not leave the flat without my woman for safety reasons....She had a full- time job....As hard as I tried, the urge to go home was over powering. I was out of place, out of balance and very unhappy. I love Anna more than life, but I was so compelled to return to my comfort zone. Life was miserable and unbearable. Anna made huge efforts to make me comfortable....She took me places....ate local foods.....enjoyed art, history and shopping in the open-air markets....She spent ALL her non-working hours with me and making a heart felt effort to make me feel comfortable...During the day she could not call me because it would be problems if someone heard her speaking English....Plus her English skills sucked big time...

Still I felt "trapped" like a animal in a cage....Her flat was the size of my kitchen, we lived in a war zone.... I couldn't take it any longer....I packed and waited for her to come home....That was the first time I truly understood how much she loved me, and how hard it was for her.

For example, the jealous women ( That she landed a American )....The people that say " whats wrong with her? why can't she get a nice Ukrainian man?" she must be a crazy woman!.. and then there are the people that are against a foreign relationship.

After long thought, I unpacked and tried to stick it out....Things got tougher, we would loose power, internet, water and gas...I had no Skype to my family...And I was in a full war zone by that time....shelling and gun fire....people in the streets, displaced and cold life got real ugly. I wanted to leave.....Her job was complete in the war zone and we moved to Kyiv...(She was closing banks in the conflict area)

Still feeling out of place....but Kyiv is a beautiful large city... They have a bar that caters to English speakers...Very cool! But I still don't understand the guys from Wales...

After about a month....I packed and wanted to go home again....I called her at work, and she came straight home....as fast as metro could get her here....we talked and discussed ways I would feel some comfort....She also mentioned that I wasn't trying hard enough...to integrate.

I try to learn Russian/Ukrainian, whatever it is called. But know I don't care... I am learning the alphabet and some language, I can get through the market...sometimes I buy mystery foods because I can't speak the language..but I am adjusting....and actually enjoy my new life

It has been a year and a half....I am married to the most amazing and loving woman.....And I have stepped up to the plate and fulfill my man role...I take the lead, make the decisions and sometimes I have to put my foot down....

It is time for you to put your foot down.....be kind, gentle and loving....tell her to stay "it will and does pass"....Get her involved in life...it is your responsibility.....Don't lay down and say okay honey, I know it is hard for you to get use to the time zone....I send you home...That is BS....

A foreign relationship is a special blessing....treat it as such!....It IS work....but it is well worth it IMHO )

[babylloyd 4]

I have been reading this thread from the start up to the end...it's like a TELENOVELA in the television that I'm waiting for the happy ending. It's like if she decided to come back in the Philippines I will be brokenhearted too.

In my experienced, I always believe that LDR love stories are the most extra ordinary of all love stories. Who can understand and believe that two people who are a thousand miles apart can truly fell in love with each other if you don't experienced it yourself? What will be more sweeter than seeing your fiancé/fiancée after a very long wait ...

You guys are very lucky because it seems that your visa journey goes smoothly. As you can see in my timeline, I'm in my 7th weeks of my sputum culture test And there are many here that's in TSC that's been waiting too long too. What I'm trying to say is, I know that your fiancée is reading this thread too...Friend, what is a little homesickness compare to an everlasting love you are having by your side now? You are so lucky you are beside him now...Many here in VJ who are still in the waiting mode will surely want what you have now. Don't throw it all away...

Anyway guys, my TELENOVELA has a happy ending now

I wish you both the best of luck and a happy life forever

[General Buhari 46]

So glad she has decided to stay!

Ditto

Edited June 27, 2015 by General Buhari

[kkk1 42]

I would like to offer my 2 cents......This happened to me, but reversed....

I am a global traveler, and had the chance to be a expat in many countries.

I moved from the USA to Ukraine to be with my woman. Maidan had protesters, the east was being invaded by "men in green" Crimea was becoming a mess. I have never been to a FSU country in my travels.......WOW!! ....Culture shock!!!

The opposite side of the world, NO ONE SPEAKS ENGLISH where I landed...( I now live in Kyiv ).....They use a different alphabet, food tasted different, customs were different.....every aspect of my life had changed..... I could not leave the flat without my woman for safety reasons....She had a full- time job....As hard as I tried, the urge to go home was over powering. I was out of place, out of balance and very unhappy. I love Anna more than life, but I was so compelled to return to my comfort zone. Life was miserable and unbearable. Anna made huge efforts to make me comfortable....She took me places....ate local foods.....enjoyed art, history and shopping in the open-air markets....She spent ALL her non-working hours with me and making a heart felt effort to make me feel comfortable...During the day she could not call me because it would be problems if someone heard her speaking English....Plus her English skills sucked big time...

Still I felt "trapped" like a animal in a cage....Her flat was the size of my kitchen, we lived in a war zone.... I couldn't take it any longer....I packed and waited for her to come home....That was the first time I truly understood how much she loved me, and how hard it was for her.

For example, the jealous women ( That she landed a American )....The people that say " whats wrong with her? why can't she get a nice Ukrainian man?" she must be a crazy woman!.. and then there are the people that are against a foreign relationship.

After long thought, I unpacked and tried to stick it out....Things got tougher, we would loose power, internet, water and gas...I had no Skype to my family...And I was in a full war zone by that time....shelling and gun fire....people in the streets, displaced and cold life got real ugly. I wanted to leave.....Her job was complete in the war zone and we moved to Kyiv...(She was closing banks in the conflict area)

Still feeling out of place....but Kyiv is a beautiful large city... They have a bar that caters to English speakers...Very cool! But I still don't understand the guys from Wales...

After about a month....I packed and wanted to go home again....I called her at work, and she came straight home....as fast as metro could get her here....we talked and discussed ways I would feel some comfort....She also mentioned that I wasn't trying hard enough...to integrate.

I try to learn Russian/Ukrainian, whatever it is called. But know I don't care... I am learning the alphabet and some language, I can get through the market...sometimes I buy mystery foods because I can't speak the language..but I am adjusting....and actually enjoy my new life

It has been a year and a half....I am married to the most amazing and loving woman.....And I have stepped up to the plate and fulfill my man role...I take the lead, make the decisions and sometimes I have to put my foot down....

It is time for you to put your foot down.....be kind, gentle and loving....tell her to stay "it will and does pass"....Get her involved in life...it is your responsibility.....Don't lay down and say okay honey, I know it is hard for you to get use to the time zone....I send you home...That is BS....

A foreign relationship is a special blessing....treat it as such!....It IS work....but it is well worth it IMHO )

I am so amazed with your story. It is difficult to tell you in words. I appreciate that you kept your self strong. Now a days it is difficult to get faithful woman who can love you this much all her heart or vice_ versa. Your sacrifice of living your home country is of worth.

[DandC 13]

I am so thankful for all the support we have received from everyone on Visa Journey! We spent a lot of time discussing everything about her decision, we read everyone's posts, and my Maria did decide it was way too soon to leave the USA!

So, she has decided to stay and work thru the homesickness and keep her mind on her and I... I am so happy because without the input of everyone who took the time to leave such positive comments, I'm not sure what the outcome might have been..

I even got a deal on the airline cancellation! I was only charged $25 to cancel the flight! WOW!

Thank you everyone once again!

Happy for you both that Maria decided to stay. I was terribly homesick too when I moved to Ohio about a year and a half ago and it was also on a bitterly cold winter season! I have cried so many times and my then fiance cried with me at times too. We tried to do a lot of activities together during weekends. When he is working, he would pick me up during lunch breaks and take me to the mall and would just pick me up after work. That helped a lot. It would also help to get her rice cooker and/or take her to the asian store as often as you guys could. We also have a Facebook group of Pinays who are undegoing/underwent K1/CR1 process. Maybe she can join too. Just send me a message and I can add her. That helped me a lot in overcoming my homesickness. Take care and all the best!

[fantonledzepp 159]

Glad you two talked and she decided to work through the homesickness.

[Erica e Kevin 0]

I am so thankful for all the support we have received from everyone on Visa Journey! We spent a lot of time discussing everything about her decision, we read everyone's posts, and my Maria did decide it was way too soon to leave the USA!

So, she has decided to stay and work thru the homesickness and keep her mind on her and I... I am so happy because without the input of everyone who took the time to leave such positive comments, I'm not sure what the outcome might have been..

I even got a deal on the airline cancellation! I was only charged $25 to cancel the flight! WOW!

Thank you everyone once again!

I am so happy that she decided to stay.

I am living in the US for 2+ years now and I still feel homesick sometimes.

I wish I lived close to you, guys, so I could try to be her friend.

I don't have too many friends here. Only a mexican friend, but she often goes back to Mexico and then I feel lonely again for some days(my husband works and travels a lot).

The women from my country who live here, wheter live too far from me or, the ones living close, doesn't seem to want a friendship.

Tell Maria that things will get better.

Edited June 27, 2015 by Erica e Kevin

[Caramel Swirl 54]

Boy this is such a tremendous example of what positive support is all about. This is an incredible story and goes to show that sometimes we need to reach out to someone else when we are going through trials and testing. There are always people out there who can relate to and give solid inputs. The answer might not be in the mix but the support gives us strength to go on a bit further. I'm so proud of the human race, especially my Visa Journey family.

We wish you all the blessings in your journey and the continued strength to take a step day by day towards a happy life.

[Vladsayame 5]

I am so thankful for all the support we have received from everyone on Visa Journey! We spent a lot of time discussing everything about her decision, we read everyone's posts, and my Maria did decide it was way too soon to leave the USA!

So, she has decided to stay and work thru the homesickness and keep her mind on her and I... I am so happy because without the input of everyone who took the time to leave such positive comments, I'm not sure what the outcome might have been..

I even got a deal on the airline cancellation! I was only charged $25 to cancel the flight! WOW!

Thank you everyone once again

Clap! Clap! So happy.. I just read the whole thread, and its like reading a novel, my heart thudded strongly while clicking the next button as I'm afraid to read " Maria had left for Philippines already" And for u Maria.. Normal lang na mahomesick, lilipas din yan girl at yun desisyon mo nung una na umuwi agad hayyy icp icp din, wala ng bawian yan kung sakali, mahirap mkahanap ng luvlyf na totoo hehe.. Marami ka naman puedeng gawin dyan ng mabawasan ang lumbay mo, push natin yun ok. Goodluck to both of u..

Edited June 27, 2015 by Vladsayame

[TBoneTX 43,040]

A noncontributory post, and one indicating that the entire thread wasn't read, has been removed. Post constructively, or don't post.

VJ Moderation

[divalocs 8]

I am happy so happy she decided to stay, Wishing you the best!!!!

[Mike-eeh and Odie 192]

Very happy for both of you!

My wife was very homesick at first, but she realized the whole reason she came to the USA was to spend her life with me. At times, she does miss her family, but we went to the Philippines recently for 2 weeks and it satisfied her family fix.

Also, getting her EAD/AP combo card helps a lot. Once she is working it will take her mind off her homesickness.

[Marco&Bettina 502]

Happy for you both that Maria decided to stay. I was terribly homesick too when I moved to Ohio about a year and a half ago and it was also on a bitterly cold winter season! I have cried so many times and my then fiance cried with me at times too. We tried to do a lot of activities together during weekends. When he is working, he would pick me up during lunch breaks and take me to the mall and would just pick me up after work. That helped a lot. It would also help to get her rice cooker and/or take her to the asian store as often as you guys could. We also have a Facebook group of Pinays who are undegoing/underwent K1/CR1 process. Maybe she can join too. Just send me a message and I can add her. That helped me a lot in overcoming my homesickness. Take care and all the best!

A spouse who can cry with you is a really great spouse. Sometimes you need to get emotional together like that.

PS: OP, I'm glad yall were able to work it out & extend your relationship. This will be great for you 2.

Edited June 29, 2015 by Marco&Bettina