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unhappy fiance

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He can just go back with his passport...but on "LA is boring" reason???

There is probably more to the story that he's not sharing.

I suspect he's just not in love and certain not ready for a marriage.

I have never been in L.A. But what I have seen on TV, I would questioned the reason though. What kind of boring he is talking about? Try live in Key West, a small island, everything comes to silence after 09:00 PM. The island goes sleep around that time. Send him here and how he would think about that.

I live in Key West more than a year now and it never across in my mind word of "boring". But again to each their own. As long as I am with my husband, places don't matter anymore.

Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat

- Sun Tzu-

It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop

-Confucius-

 

-I am the beneficiary and my post is not reflecting my petitioner's point of views-

 

                                       Lifting Condition (I-751)

 

*Mailed I-751 package (06/21/2017) to CSC

*NOA-1 date (06/23/2017)

*NOA-1 received (06/28/2017)

*Check cashed (06/27/2017)

*Biometric Received (07/10/2017)

*Biometric Appointment (07/20/2017)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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pasadena and glendale? My aunt lives close there. My first time to go there I expected I could just go anywhere, but commuting is much harder. I had to wait for my aunt or uncle to drive me to go out..

The vibe was different, everytime I visit I still didn't like the area, (no offense meant) it just was something my personality wouldn't exactly fit in.. when I went to the East Coast area, I felt more at home, easier to walk to places and I find the trains easier to get to.. probably because my sister and my husband is just a few minutes walk away from the stations..

I am so sorry about your situation because not liking the place is not enough to leave your loved one.. like the other posters said, there must be a reason.. especially he is a guy, he must feel a bit emasculated since he can't work, do anything he normally does back at home. Have you really talked it out? Is he being a baby?

I admire you for being strong, if I was in your situation I wouldn't even have the guts to do what you did.. I hope he suddenly realizes you are more important than his "boredom" or that you find a partner who deserves you.

CR1

  • Consulate : Manila, Philippines
  • Marriage: 2014-10-01
  • I-130 Sent : 2014-10-16
  • I-130 NOA1 (Email) : 2014-10-22
  • I-130 NOA1 (Hardcopy) : 2014-10-26
  • I-130 NOA2 (Email) : 2014-11-26
  • I-130 NOA2 (Hardcopy) : 2014-12-03
  • NVC Case Received : 2014-12-10
  • Case Number Received : 2015-01-15
  • Submitted DS-261 : 2015-01-20
  • NVC Received AOS and IV Packages : 2015-02-25
  • Case Completed at NVC: 2015-03-30
  • Interview Scheduled: 2015-04-18
  • Interview Date: 2015-05-27
  • Interview Result: Approved
  • Visa Received: 2015-06-05
  • POE: 2015-07-03 (JFK)
  • Received Greencard: 2015-08-15
  • Returned Greencard: 2015-08-23
  • Recieved Corrected Greencard: 2015-11-16 (JFK)

 

ROC

  • Sent I-751 Packet: 2017-05-19
  • VSC Received: 2017-05-22
  • Check Cashed: 2017-05-26
  • NOA1 Received2017-05-30
  • Biometrics Letter Received2017-06-16
  • Biometrics Appointment2017-06-27
  • Interview: 2018-11-20
  • Approval Letter: 2018-11-26
  • Received Greencard2018-11-27
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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Oh, boy! It takes time to adjust. There's a LOT of filipinos in LA. Tell him to join filipino community or just go to Catholic Church and get new friends.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

i dont think my plan xiang magTNT kc ayaw nia dito tlga.. i book him a flight already for nextweek i dont know if gagamitin nia.. sabi ko sa knya "here's your ticket... use it if you wanna leave!!!!

If your attitude is like that in a relationship I suggest you meet people already here in the US. If I had a dime for every time my wife wanted to move back to the Philippines it could pay for the trip. When she goes back to visit she wants to come back to Florida after a day. I would guess their are men too that are irrational and don't put a lot of thought into what they say and do, you may have found one. A week isn't long enough to get even remotely adjusted. Marriage/Relationship is work!

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: China
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it's really frustrating guys because it cost me money.. i moved out from my parents and get an apartment just for him to be comfortable. we live at eagle rock by the way..its between pasadena and glendale.. I can't tour him around because i work graveyard as a nurse... but my point is if he really came here for me then he shouldnt be struggling.. prolly he just come here because he thinks america is paradise... prior o coming here, he work in singapore as an architech.... i'll just let him go, better than be stressed about it... thank you guys for all the replies

I've seen countless foreign spouse marriage situations, and by far,

I think women adjust to moving to US a lot better than men.

I think it's because men desires to take the leading role in family.

But, in first few years of immigrant's life, the man must rely so much on USC wife

who is likely to have better marketable job skills, earning power,

and speak English and knows the society better.

This can be an "ego-wrecking" emotional situation for some (prideful but ignorant) man.

I'm sure his emotions are up and down right from moving to US and

now thinking of returning. So he could also be saying things out of frustration

and it may not be his real long term feelings.

Other than his struggle for adjustment to US, if your relationship has some good foundation remaining,

it might be worth seeking some counseling and/or arranging your husband to have deep

conversation with perhaps veteran immigrants with good wisdom in life in attempt to

salvage your long term relationship.

But if he really wants to go back no matter what...then I think you have a good attitude

in just releasing him to not wreck your emotions.

Best of luck.

10-04-2013 We met online
11-21-2013 We met in person in Shanghai for 2 weeks

12-13-2013 I-129F packet sent via express

12-19-2013 USCIS NOA #1 (text and email) received

12-24-2013 USCIS assigns Alien Registration Number
12-31-2013 USCIS NOA #1 hard copy received
06-02-2014 USCIS web site shows NOA #2 approval
06-06-2014 USCIS web site shows case sent to NVC

06-xx-2014 Fiancee acquired birth, marriage, and police certificates from local police station (wrong)

06-16-2014 NVC creates case with GUZ### number

06-19-2014 NVC sends case sent to Guangzhou, China
06-24-2014 Received packet 3 express mail from embassy
06-25-2014 Completed DS-160 and paid K1 visa fee

06-26-2014 Mailed packet 3 response back to Embassy

06-26-2014 Requested police certificate from Russian embassy

07-08-2014 Received packet 4 email from Embassy

07-17-2014 Picked up Russian police certificate

07-25-2014 Fiancee medical exam (received MMR & Varicella, but they missed required TD shot)

07-31-2014 Picked up medical exam reports

08-01-2014 Request (correct) birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service (GongZhengChu)

08-06-2014 Picked up birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service

08-14-2014 Passed Interview Guangzhou embassy

09-01-2014 Received passport, visa, & sealed envelope

09-13-2014 POE

09-17-2014 Went to CBP office to get (US entry) I-94 updated correctly

09-18-2014 Applied for Social Security Card
09-19-2014 Applied for Marriage License (via online)
09-25-2014 Received Social Security Card
09-30-2014 Picked up Marriage License
10-09-2014 Marriage by Justice of Peace
10-09-2014 Got Certified Marriage Certificate Copies
10-17-2014 Received a letter from SS office that they need the marriage license
10-09-2014 Applied to change the social security card name
10-24-2014 Went back to SS office to provide the marriage certificate documents again!!!
12-09-2014 Submitted AOS, EAD, and AP
12-16-2014 Received 16 emails and 16 text NOA messages
01-05-2015 Received Biometrics appointment letter for (01-12-2015)
01-12-2015 Had Biometrics (fingerprint & picture) - Required Marriage Certificate!!!
02-17-2015 EAD and AP is approved
02-23-2015 Received AP is approval letter
02-25-2015 Received EAD/AP combo card (expires 02/16/2016)
02-27-2015 Applied for SS card name change (they took her SS card)
02-27-2015 Driver's learner permit test was denied since the SS card was given to SS office for name change
03-17-2015 Received SS card with married name
03-17-2015 Started to change all her accounts to married name
03-23-2015 Received potential interview waiver letter
03-27-2015 DMV rejects learner's permit due to "legal status=pending" and vision test failure
04-05-2015 Vision test for learner's permit
04-06-2015 DPS sent us letter that DHS cleared my wife's status to acquire driver's license.
04-10-2015 Passed Driver Learner's Permit
04-22-2015 Received Driver Learner's Permit ID card (expires 02/16/2016)
08-27-2015 Green Card approved
08-31-2015 Received Green Card "Welcome Notice Was Mailed" letter
09-05-2015 Received Green card
10-26-2015 Passed Driver's License Road Test (on 3rd attempt)
11-03-2015 Received Driver's License (expires 02/16/2022)
11-06-2015 Applied to remove conditional work remark on SS card
11-23-2015 Received updated Social Security Card.
- - - - - - - - - - Pending Future Processing - - - - - - - - - -
05-27-2017 File 10 Year Green Card
08-27-2017 2 Year Green Card Expires
05-27-2018 File USC

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

I'd do anything to be in his shoes. To be with my fiance right now. It's just so sad that you guys went through a lot of trouble seemingly for nothing. It is a long and stressful process, the visa application and all that, he's very lucky he got approved and had the chance to be with you while here are some of us, still patiently waiting for the approval of the application. Just as any marriage, or relationship for that matter, it requires sacrifice and hard work for it to be a success. But people adapt and adjust differently.. Wish he'd change his mind and work things out with you. It's not too late, i hope he doesn't take those plane tickets home and fly back and chicken out that easily. A lot of people would kill for where he is right now.... Nasa huli ang pagsisisi.

Also, you deserve someone better. Someone willing to accept change and has the conscious knowledge of being lucky they get to be with the person they love.

Ps. We do not know the other side of this story, we are not judging your fiance for his actions, but really, you deserve someone better than him.

Edited by Katreine Cenide
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I can remember my wife telling me that during the first 6 months here, the transition is difficult because like in the PI you can just jump on a trike and you are somewhere where you can explore even if it is the mall. She got bored with staying at home while I worked. When I got home, I tried to do things to bring her day back to being whole again.

No one approach is going to be the magic key to unlock his fulfillment here. He and you are going to need to find your way. Get him busy and make sure he has a lifeline back to PI to talk with his friends like Skype.

This is pretty much exactly what I felt when I first got here. In the Philippines, you can go anywhere even if you didn't own a car. New place, no job, no friends (yet) and no money of your own = boring. It took at least a year for the US to feel like home to me. He needs to not make rash decisions (which costs a lot of money) and wait till the emotions die down a little. It is a HUGE adjustment coming here and he needs to give it time and patience.

And I know I might get crucified for this, but I find California to be boring too compared to where I was from in the Philippines so I sort of understand where he's coming from. However, now that I'm in North Carolina, I'm 1000% sure I will see Cali in a different light when I go back in September. :lol:

To the OP,

Good luck, stay strong and I hope things work out for the best. Like Apple said, sana wag sya magTNT at sana di kalang nya ginamit para makarating dito.

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Any place in the United States is boring if you compare it to Manila or Cebu or any bustling metropolis in the Philippines (well, except maybe Vegas). It's just a different culture, different environment, and a different way of living.

20 years ago when I moved here in Los Angeles I was homesick, bored and depressed for almost two years, but after considerable adjustment and making a lot of friends throughout the years, I wouldn't want to go back to the Philippines for any reason unless I was on a short vacation or retiring ;)

K1 Timeline:

02/28/2014 - I-129F Submitted
04/08/2014 - I-129F NOA2 Received

07/03/2014 - SLEC Medical Appointment 1 (Result: Sputum Culture)

09/18/2014 - SLEC Medical Appointment 2 (Result: Passed)

10/14/2014 - K1 Visa Interview (Result: Approved)

10/23/2014 - K1 Visa Issued

11/09/2014 - Entered USA (POE: Los Angeles)

01/02/2015 - Wedding Day

AOS Timeline:

03/02/2015 - I-485 Submitted (with I-765 & I-131)

03/13/2015 - I-485 NOA Received (with NOA for I-765 & I-131)

03/30/2015 - Biometrics Appointment Completed

05/12/2015 - I-785 & I-131 Approved

05/20/2015 - EAD/AP Combo Card Received

06/10/2015 - AOS Interview (Result: Approved)

06/18/2015 - Conditional Green Card Received

ROC Timeline:

05/15/2017 - I-751 Submitted 
05/26/2017 - I-751 NOA Received 
06/13/2017 - Biometrics Appointment Completed

07/18/2017 - Extension NOA Received (twelve month extension)
03/05/2018 - I-751 Received by Local Office
04/20/2018 - Infopass Appointment (Result: I-551 Stamp on Passport, six-month extension)

06/18/2018 - Extension NOA Received (eighteen month extension)

10/29/2019 - Infopass Appointment (Result: I-551 Stamp on new Passport)

11/06/2019 - I-751 Approved

11/14/2019 - Permanent Green Card Received

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it's really frustrating guys because it cost me money.. i moved out from my parents and get an apartment just for him to be comfortable. we live at eagle rock by the way..its between pasadena and glendale.. I can't tour him around because i work graveyard as a nurse... but my point is if he really came here for me then he shouldnt be struggling.. prolly he just come here because he thinks america is paradise... prior o coming here, he work in singapore as an architech.... i'll just let him go, better than be stressed about it... thank you guys for all the replies

It's partly culture shock and partly that his expectations about life in the USA were not met. In his mind, he's always comparing everything between LA and Singapore. I haven't lived in Singapore but I've been there many, many times, and it's a highly developed asian city with a functional public transport system, very clean streets and access to merchandise and food from around the world. The version of the first world he got exposed to in Singapore does not match what he saw in LA.

When I first arrived in the U.S. many years ago, my POE was Chicago. As my sister drove us from O'Hare to her house in the suburbs, I was shocked and disappointed at how bad the roads were (potholes and cracks on the streets) and how backwards the phone booths and trains were compared to Japan (where I had lived and worked for several years in a government institution). I have a feeling your fiancé is experiencing similar reactions to mine from the past.

He will have to lower his expectations about life here in the US if he wants to move on. And if he truly cared about you, he would try to adjust. If he won't, it might be time for you to let go, unless you're willing to go where he wants to be. I hope things work out in whatever way possible.

Check my timeline for K-1 visa & AOS details

Conditional Permanent Resident: 16 September 2014

Conditional GC Expires: 16 September 2016

ROC Journey (CA Service Center)

2016-Sep-14: I-751 form, check, supporting docs sent USPS Priority Express

2016-Sep-15: ROC application received & signed for by Lakelieh

2016-Sep-15: NOA receipt date

2016-Sep-19: $590 check cashed by USCIS

2016-Sep-20: NOA/ 1-year extension letter received in mail

2018-Feb-26: ROC case transferred to local office

2018-Mar-06: ROC approved via USCIS website (WAC status check)

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Filed: F-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

thank you guys for all the advices... after we had a talk about it we finally settle down everything.. and we got married today. thank you all

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thank you guys for all the advices... after we had a talk about it we finally settle down everything.. and we got married today. thank you all

Congrats! Tell him things will get better the longer he stays in the US. This is true for most immigrants. Sign him up at the closest public library. Get him a gym membership. Make sure he can communicate easily with friends and family in the Philippines. Try to get him to volunteer to keep him busy. There are so many things he can do while waiting for his papers. Good luck!

Check my timeline for K-1 visa & AOS details

Conditional Permanent Resident: 16 September 2014

Conditional GC Expires: 16 September 2016

ROC Journey (CA Service Center)

2016-Sep-14: I-751 form, check, supporting docs sent USPS Priority Express

2016-Sep-15: ROC application received & signed for by Lakelieh

2016-Sep-15: NOA receipt date

2016-Sep-19: $590 check cashed by USCIS

2016-Sep-20: NOA/ 1-year extension letter received in mail

2018-Feb-26: ROC case transferred to local office

2018-Mar-06: ROC approved via USCIS website (WAC status check)

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Philippines
Timeline

thank you guys for all the advices... after we had a talk about it we finally settle down everything.. and we got married today. thank you all

Good.

Remember you should have almost a year to pull your I-485 sponsorship AOS if things don' work out in the future. Once the greencard is issued then you are stuck as sponsor

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thank you guys for all the advices... after we had a talk about it we finally settle down everything.. and we got married today. thank you all

:dancing::dancing: Congrats!! :dance::dance:

Spoiler

Adjustment of Status

AOS March 5, 2014 Submitted AOS with EAD/AP package to Chicago USICS

Delivered March 8, 2014 AOS packaged delivered to USCIS drop box

Accepted March 19, 2014 Text message with receipt numbers

Biometrics April 16, 2014 Biometrics completed

EAD May 23, 2014 Employment Authorization Document approved and went to card production

TD May 23, 2014 Travel Document approved and went for card production

Receipt EAD/AP May 30, 2014 Received combo card EAD/AP

Green Card Approved July 11, 2014 Approved, no interview. Went to card production.

Green Card received July 17, 2014 GC received without interview

Removal of Conditions

Mailed I-751 Dec 16, 2015 Submitted ROC (removal of conditions)

Received Dec 18, 2015 USPS notification of successful delivery

Check Cashed Dec 21, 2015 Check was cashed

NOA-1 Issued Dec 21, 2015 NOA-1 for ROC issued

NOA-1 Issued Dec 26, 2015 NOA-1 Received

Biometrics Appt. Jan 29, 2016 Biometrics Appointment Scheduled [Completed]

 

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Filed: F-2A Visa Country: Philippines
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thank you guys for all the advices... after we had a talk about it we finally settle down everything.. and we got married today. thank you all

Buti naman. Nagiinarte lang pala. Congrats teh!

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thank you guys for all the advices... after we had a talk about it we finally settle down everything.. and we got married today. thank you all

Congrats,ganyan din ako dati ?,he will be fine and goodluck sa inyo
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