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Adjusting to life

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Hi! So my husband and I went through the k visa process and are now in the process of adjusting his status. I was wondering how other people (particularly husbands) are adjusting to life in the US. For us, I know its hard for my husband to be here, far away from home, and dealing with all this immigration stress. I know it is especially difficult for him not being able to work and know that I am the one at work, while he is at home cooking meals, cleaning, and trying to helpful...but he is totally dependant on me. I know, as a guy, that's rough! Has anyone else's husband's been having a hard time with that?....

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Even though my husband came with a spouse visa and we didn't need to adjust status, it still took him several months to find a job. He is an engineer and it took him several months to find a job, and his first job wasn't in his field(1st job was at Walmart loading trucks), but he was willing to take any job in order to contribute to the household finances. About 4 or 5 months after starting his first job he found a job in his field, which was about 10 months after he arrived in the US.



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My husband can't drive yet, we have AOS pending. He is bored and wants to work really bad but spends his time riding a bicycle and

working out at the gym. He also has a library card and yes, doing some cooking and cleaning. Yay !!!

We try to do stuff together as much as we can to get him out of the house when my work schedule allows.

Sightseeing the surrounding areas etc, small road trips here and there just for him to see something different help.

We picked up some application for the fun of it and to get him used to applying at surrounding jobs in the future.

He will work on his resume soon.


Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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Even though my husband came with a spouse visa and we didn't need to adjust status, it still took him several months to find a job. He is an engineer and it took him several months to find a job, and his first job wasn't in his field(1st job was at Walmart loading trucks), but he was willing to take any job in order to contribute to the household finances. About 4 or 5 months after starting his first job he found a job in his field, which was about 10 months after he arrived in the US.

kudos to your husband for accepting that Walmart job. Just having work experience in the US is helpful in attaining a subsequent job, thus starting from there was a good decision on his part.

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~ Moved from AOS from Family Based Visas to Moving to the US and Your New Life in America - topic is about adjusting to life in the US ~


Link to K-1 instructions for Ciudad Juarez, Mexico > http://travel.state.gov/content/dam/visas/K1/CDJ%20-%20Ciudad%20Juarez.pdf

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We picked up some application for the fun of it and to get him used to applying at surrounding jobs in the future.

This is the best of the several excellent ideas in your post. Brilliant, in fact.


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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K1 can be much harder on a person used to working than the spousal visa route.

It does take some time to adjust. For some people it takes years. Patience is your best virtue for that time period. Best of luck!


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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Hi! So my husband and I went through the k visa process and are now in the process of adjusting his status. I was wondering how other people (particularly husbands) are adjusting to life in the US. For us, I know its hard for my husband to be here, far away from home, and dealing with all this immigration stress. I know it is especially difficult for him not being able to work and know that I am the one at work, while he is at home cooking meals, cleaning, and trying to helpful...but he is totally dependant on me. I know, as a guy, that's rough! Has anyone else's husband's been having a hard time with that?....

is he handy with tools and gardening?

if yes, source out some tools at estate sales, buying older american product. have him build some box planters and then you sell them on the weekends (you, not him).

as to the garden, there's probably lots of unused land around your area, have him start some seeds in seed trays, then scope out the land around your place, seeking the owners of said land, and get permission to start a garden there. by the time he's figured out who owns the land, gotten the permission from the owner, the seed trays are ready to be transplanted.

he's not a gamer person, is he?

alternatively, he can volunteer his time with the chamber of commerce in your area - it's a good thing, actually, as he'll be meeting humans with hiring authority in a stress-free, non-hiring event throughout the months.


Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

-=-=-=-=-=R E A D ! ! !=-=-=-=-=-

Whoa Nelly ! Want NVC Info? see http://www.visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/NVC_Process

Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !

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Hi! So my husband and I went through the k visa process and are now in the process of adjusting his status. I was wondering how other people (particularly husbands) are adjusting to life in the US. For us, I know its hard for my husband to be here, far away from home, and dealing with all this immigration stress. I know it is especially difficult for him not being able to work and know that I am the one at work, while he is at home cooking meals, cleaning, and trying to helpful...but he is totally dependant on me. I know, as a guy, that's rough! Has anyone else's husband's been having a hard time with that?....

Him having to do female roles such as cooking, cleaning, etc is probably very degrading for him.

Have you ever thought about finding work in Philippines and moving back over there to live?

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Degrading female roles. Wow.

Negative, Please remember this is a international forum.

Poster is from Philippines, and traditional roles is for the female to cook and take care of house, I have never seen a husband do the cooking or cleaning and nor is it normal for a male to do those roles in Philippines. When I am there the men eat first and the woman serve them, just the way it works there.........

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Negative, Please remember this is a international forum.

Poster is from Philippines, and traditional roles is for the female to cook and take care of house, I have never seen a husband do the cooking or cleaning and nor is it normal for a male to do those roles in Philippines. When I am there the men eat first and the woman serve them, just the way it works there.........

So he should stay in the Philippines if he isn't willing to adapt.

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So he should stay in the Philippines if he isn't willing to adapt.

That is why I suggested moving back to Philippines.

It's would be harder for a man to adjust versus a female from Philippines, from what I know about the culture..

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Hi! So my husband and I went through the k visa process and are now in the process of adjusting his status. I was wondering how other people (particularly husbands) are adjusting to life in the US. For us, I know its hard for my husband to be here, far away from home, and dealing with all this immigration stress. I know it is especially difficult for him not being able to work and know that I am the one at work, while he is at home cooking meals, cleaning, and trying to helpful...but he is totally dependant on me. I know, as a guy, that's rough! Has anyone else's husband's been having a hard time with that?....

I struggled for a few months as a CR1 (it took me 3 months to find a job and I wasnt used to not working). I found going to the library and doing job research, improving my resume etc more healthy than being at home while my wife was at work.

The idea about practice job applications another poster quoted is very good. Also are there any local courses he can take to learn new skills and meet new people? Might give him a sense of purpose while he is unable to work.


My blog about my visa journey and adjusting to my new life in the US http://albiontoamerica.wordpress.com/

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