Jump to content
Ranajuatense

What is the best thing to do???

28 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

I will try to explain the best I can, since my English is not the best. I have been married to a USC for 4 years, I became permanent resident (10 years) in January. The problem here is that he drinks a lot and when he drinks he is so abusive plus his ex left to another state and left her kid with us (my husband has full custody), she careless about her kids each of them (3) are living with their dads. I Take care of my husband 9 year old kid, I feel like babysitter (no appreciation)... between me and my daughter babysit him, he has the ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) sickness so it makes harder to take care of him, when the kid misbehaves my husband never, ever discipline him, other way around if I tell my husband something that the kid did wrong he starts screaming to me and when I told him that between his alcohol problems and his kid are tearing us apart. When I ask him that I want to separate from him he always threatens me to talk to immigration, ever even from the beginning. I love him, but I give him 4 years of my life, and nothing has changed. I am always sad and crying and my teenager see me bad all the time, I don't want her to think that that abuse is normal, she is going to college next year to be a immigration lawyer to help others. I am lost, I don't know what to do, I come to VJ every single day and I feel like you guys are my family, since I don't have family in USA. I am sorry for my English, I came to U.S when I was 27 and it has been a challenging to me. My question here is, is that truth that he can make a call and take my green card from me? I want to be close to my daughter, I am a good person, I work hard everyday to provide in our home also, plus I need to clean, cook, babysit and please him so he doesn't get mad at me. For the first time in my life, I am so scare... what should I do?


Thank you so much for your time and patience,


Ranajuatense


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He cannot take your green card.

What country are you from, originally?


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your English is fine sweetie, and no he cannot take your green card away. Does you husband admit he has a drinking problem, and if so has he sought any type of treatment? Children with ADHD are difficult to deal with, they have no control or understanding over their impulses, they need positive re-enforcement and a lot of support and understanding from parents, teachers and friends, and they need boundaries and structure. Is he in any type of counseling, is he getting the support he needs in school? It breaks my heart for him that his dad isn't giving him any structure, boundaries, support or discipline, his son would thrive if his dad were to take the time to help his son.

Edited by mimolicious


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am from Mexico

Even if I fill out for divorce??? or If I leave the marital house? he won't hurt us no more?

Yes, you can leave and file for divorce and he still cannot take your green card from you.

Edited by mimolicious


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He can't hurt your immigration status. Others here will supply specific information about what you can do on a personal level.

If you are from Mexico, you probably understand "machista" behavior. Your husband -- whether he is also from Mexico/Latin America or he is a born gringo -- seems to be acting like a Macho, as you describe it. You do not need to put up with this treatment. Many organizations here can help abused women. You can call your church (any church), Catholic Charities, or various organizations for abused women. Other people here can make specific recommendations.


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He is pure white, gringo 100% at the beginning he was so charm, even before we married he said he quit smoking and drinking and I believe in his words, I am in love with him but I can't accept this situation, I have been helping him in any way I can, I am not lazy woman or drinker or smoker. I respect others and I believe in love, the human bean needs love... but I need to take care of myself before I take care of others and I don't want my daughter see this like a normal behavior from a gentleman to a lady. I don't like when he gets mad at me because of his little one, it is no fear even the boy says that I care more about him than his own mother, he loves my tacos, tortas, quesadillas, etc... he is a good boy but his dad doesn't how to be nice to me since I am playing the mom roll in his life. Today is my first time writing this much in English, thank you for open the door for me TBone TX <3

Edited by Ranajuatense

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am from Mexico

Even if I fill out for divorce??? or If I leave the marital house? he won't hurt us no more?

Like Shakira said -->Que el cielo y su madre cuiden de el....te vas, sera mejor asi :dancing:

Yeah, get the heck out and go on and live a happy life. To hell with him... I find it particaularly offensive that people use their spouse's immigration status against them, especially when the spouse is trying all they can to make it work and is a good person...so effing lame.

Good for you for standing up for yourself, OP! Your deserve much better (F)


N400

Oct 23, 2014: NOA 1

Yellow letter date: October 27, 2014

Biometrics: November 7, 2014

In line for interview: November 10, 2014

Interview scheduled! (email notification): March 23, 2014

Interview letter received: March 25th

Interview: April 24th

In line for Oath: April 27th

Oath: June 23rd

Proud to be an American!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will, gracias everyone!!! I can't still believe that he can't do anything against us. I was scared for nothing? I am in shock, what is the next step I need to follow to get out of their lives,I know I need to get a place to live, I am referring about legal things... Now he need to deal with his unpolite kid and with his alcohol problems and big mouth.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will, gracias everyone!!! I can't still believe that he can't do anything against us. I was scared for nothing? I am in shock, what is the next step I need to follow to get out of their lives,I know I need to get a place to live, I am referring about legal things... Now he need to deal with his unpolite kid and with his alcohol problems and big mouth.

First you must leave -- find a shelter if there is no other way.

Next file for divorce -- there is absolutely no risk of "taking" your green card

You are almost at the fiver year mark, so once you have had your green card for five years assuming that you have spent most of your time in the US, you can file for citizenship -- it will be easy.

And then you can decide whether it is best to stay here, go back home, or live in Paris -- US citizenship gives you tremendous freedom, so don't do anything in the meantime to screw it up !!

Best wishes -- life will easy and fun once you get rid of him and then become a USC !!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your English is great. Very clear and easy to follow!

As was mentioned above, move out, file for divorce, and file a restraining order if he tries to do anything to you (but don't tell him where you move). He has no control over your immigration status at all. Not sure where in Illinois you live, but filing divorce shouldn't be too complicated. Look in your area for lawyers to help with the process (since it doesn't sound like he'll divorce without a fight).

Good luck with everything!


K1 Visa Process AOS Process

Mar 18 2013: I-129F mailed to CSC Nov 15 2013: I-485 with EAD/AP filed at Chicago Lockbox

Sept 19 2013: Interview - Approved!! Jan 25 2014: EAD/AP Card Received

Oct 6 2013: POE - Chicago O'Hare June 2 2014: Permanent Resident Card Received!

Oct 27 2013: Wedding!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Theres nothing wrong with your English.

He can't take your green card off you, he has no power at all in that regard and don't let him scare you out of leaving him. You sound like a good person who is suffering, best wishes for the future.


My blog about my visa journey and adjusting to my new life in the US http://albiontoamerica.wordpress.com/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
- Back to Top -


Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×