How married did you feel before the BIG MOVE?

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

My wife and I were talking tonight and as we get closer and closer to my move date (June 3rd), we both keep getting more and more nervous. We've never lived together. We've vacationed together, we've talked to each other every day for five years. We KNOW each other.

But as we approach my move date, the date we will actually LIVE together, for the first time in our lives, we have discovered something. We both feel more like THIS date is a wedding than our actual wedding was. We both feel more apprehension and nerves about this than we did about signing the paperwork and getting married.

And so we're wondering, are we alone? Do other people feel like you're sort of, I don't know, 'fake married' (though obviously we are legally married and DO consider ourselves married) until that visa comes, and then suddenly you realize it's real, you're really married?

Edited May 10, 2015 by Not a Tailor

[Ontarkie 13,902]

~~Moved to General Polls, from Off Topics~~

[GurkenSalat 48]

Ehh, different situation since I was already here, but getting married felt like... well, like nothing. Nothing really changed between us, we'd known each other for so long already, our friends said we were "practically married for years". We didn't move in together immediately, but after a few months we did and that was also no big deal, it just made me happy that we FINALLY get to live together and I'm all content now and... stuff... and cats.

[mallafri76 1,012]

We can't wait for when we finally get to live together. We're not nervous about that at all, just excited.

When we got married, it felt so natural, neither of us had cold feet or were nervous. What makes me extremely nervous though is living in the US. I've lived in five different countries in my lifetime, so I'm used to living in foreign countries, but the US is so different from those countries. Just this whole thing with medical care freaks me out. I mean in the countries I've lived in, and I think it's the same in Canada, if you get sick, you go to the doctors/hospital and get help, it doesn't really cost anything. In the US, insurance is a BIG thing and medical care is ridiculously expensive. You have to choose the right insurance or it might not cover diseases and injuries you get in the future. I mean who wants to go through cancer and having to argue with their insurance company whether insurance will cover the treatment or you will just have to die at home because you couldn't get treatment... And this culture of sueing everyone and everything... Do I have to be worried about accidentally bumping into someone on the street and all of the sudden you get sued for a million dollars for assault or something?! Yeah, those are the things that really freak me out about moving to the US. Living with my husband will be the nice and comforting part. ?

[uniquelyJo 34]

I can relate, I was really nervous about moving to the HUGE USA from my quiet little existence in Australia. But come to find out it really isn't that different and somewhat normal LOL I just had a recent trip home to Australia and actually found that they are further ahead in a lot of things now compared to the US, so that was a bit of a shock. But you will be fine in the US it's a little bit of an adjustment but with your hubby/wife by your side you will be just fine

Edited May 12, 2015 by uniquelyJo

[rlogan 2,036]

I moved in with her family before we applied for K-1 visa so that was pretty much a Filipino marriage right away.

[GurkenSalat 48]

Do I have to be worried about accidentally bumping into someone on the street and all of the sudden you get sued for a million dollars for assault or something?! Yeah, those are the things that really freak me out about moving to the US.

No.

[SallyWilliams 0]

I can relate. I completely understand how you feel. My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years before we moved in together. We were so excited but at the same time we were very nervous. We've heard many negative stories before about live-in partners and we were scared the same was going to happen to us. Good thing we were able to get through it all.

[berber_wife 90]

We did AOS inside the US so we lived together in sin for three months before we got married and then we lived together as a married couple for seven months before his GC was issued. Aside from that, he visited me for nearly three months earlier in our relationship, so we learned a lot about each other then.

A little over a year married and a little over three and a half years together, and there hasn't been any real surprises, despite having been through a pretty earth-shattering crisis during that time (not immigration related). And that's the way I like it, so I hope it continues!

[GurkenSalat 48]

We did AOS inside the US so we lived together in sin for three months before we got married and then we lived together as a married couple...

In sin? Are you serious?

[Ash.1101 1,755]

Hey now friend up there, Some people have different beliefs, and that's just A-Okay. =]



As for me, I'm not married yet but been dating for a couple of years and we treat it more so as he's just off to work for a really long time. It works really well for me as I was raised in a family household where my dad was gone for a while for work. Also raised around military family and saw my brother in law leave for a year at a time for deployment, and then experienced that myself with my first husband. We mingle finances for the most part and know everything that goes on with his work, my daughters therapys and school, it just feels more like he's off at work and we can't wait til he's finally done with that job. =]

I'll come back and update this when he's here for a while. I'm fairly confident that it won't change too much.

Edited June 13, 2015 by Ash.1101

[GurkenSalat 48]

Hey now friend up there, Some people have different beliefs, and that's just A-Okay. =]

As for me, I'm not married yet but been dating for a couple of years and we treat it more so as he's just off to work for a really long time. It works really well for me as I was raised in a family household where my dad was gone for a while for work. Also raised around military family and saw my brother in law leave for a year at a time for deployment, and then experienced that myself with my first husband. We mingle finances for the most part and know everything that goes on with his work, my daughters therapys and school, it just feels more like he's off at work and we can't wait til he's finally done with that job. =]

I'll come back and update this when he's here for a while. I'm fairly confident that it won't change too much.

Sure it's ok. But doing something that you know is "wrong" by your beliefs and then calling it "living in sin" means you did something that you now regret (or maybe it was a joke). So, why would anyone do that? I try to live without regrets

Looking forward to your updates!