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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: England
Timeline

So sorry to hear this has happened to you. At least you realised before he moved to the US. Stay strong and drop him like a bad habit. Don't be ashamed to tell your family, it was him who acted like an awful human being, not you.

Edited by Hotter Otter

My blog about my visa journey and adjusting to my new life in the US http://albiontoamerica.wordpress.com/

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

I'm sorry to hear about ur situation. I know it is painful. Cheating is NEVER acceptable. I don't believe in second chances when cheating is involved. A relationship should be built with trust, HONESTY and love. He lied to u from the start. It was easy for him to do it. End the relationship. Divorce or annul him. Don't do the paperworks anymore. It's not too late. This is a blessing in disguise. Praying for u.

Always know God heals the broken-hearted.

-Kathlein

8-17-14 Kathlein and I started Dating

1-22-15 Visited Kathlein in the Philippines

1-30-15 We got engaged

2-14-15 I-129F Packet Sent to the Dallas, Texas Lockbox (Sent from Kuwait)

2-25-15 I-129F Packet recieved at Dallas, Texas Lockbox

3-02-15 I-129F Packet recieved at USCIS California Sevice Center

3-06-15 Fiancé Recieved NBI and Police Background Checks

3-09-15 NOA1 Received (I-129F Opened) 23 Days From Packet Sent

3-20-15 NOA2 Received by Email (I-129F Approved) 11 Days From NOA1

3-26-15 NOA2 Recieved by Mail

4-07-15 I-129F Recieved by NVC from CSC

4-08-15 Received Case Number from NVC

4-23-15 Kathlein applied for hers and her kids passports at the DFA in CDO

6-08-15 Kathlein Recieved passports for her and the kids

6-08-15 DS-160 Visa Application Completed

6-09-15 Payed for the Visa Application at BPI Bank and Recieved MRV Slip

rIcffg.jpg

8-05-15 Fiance and Son arrived to the USA.

10-24-15 we got married.

11-20-15 CHICAGO lockbox received I-485.

12-03-15 Received text and Email notification the I-485 was received.

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Filed: IR-5 Country: Pakistan
Timeline

I have a question like how do you know he was searching for another lady..... getting divorce is easy but fixing a relationship is hard why peoples do always suggest to get ride from the relationship easily since he is crying and asking forgiveness then why its so hard to forgive i can feel your pain its hurt but i think you should give him the second chance... think about the moment you have spend with him and you know him since many years think again before its too late

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

I have a question like how do you know he was searching for another lady..... getting divorce is easy but fixing a relationship is hard why peoples do always suggest to get ride from the relationship easily since he is crying and asking forgiveness then why its so hard to forgive i can feel your pain its hurt but i think you should give him the second chance... think about the moment you have spend with him and you know him since many years think again before its too late

Once someone cheats, it's too late. You can never trust them again. Several years ago, I was engaged to a nice American man. He cheated. Then he cheated again. We worked on it. I trusted him. A female friend of his got into trouble, needed a place to stay. I paid the bus fare to get her to him so he could get her safe. He started sleeping with her immediately.

This is just what they do.

Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
Timeline

Well, I have to say that I dont think that is always the case "Once a cheater =always a cheater"

HOWEVER, someone brings up a good point. Which is that a relationship is BUILT on trust. Considering you have only started your relationship. Considering you have just married this guy.... It is one thing when you have been married 20 years... And quite another when you have only been married a few months.

PETITION I-130

1/2/2015 - Petition sent to Phoenix Lockbox

1/6/2015 - NOA #1 Receipt

7/1/2015 - NOA #2 Approved

7/10/2015 - Email from Nebraska stating sent the case to NVC

NVC

7/16/15 - Case Received by NVC

7/30/15 - Case number assigned

8/3/15 - DS-261 Agent available

8/4/15 - DS-261 Agent completed

8/4/15 - AOS fee available & paid

8/6/15 - Check cleared the bank & bar-code cover sheet now available

8/13/15 - AOS Packet & IV Packet sent to NVC by priority mail

8/15/15 - IV fee available & paid same day

8/17/15 - NVC received package

8/19/15 - Check cleared the bank & DS-260 available & DS-260 completed!!! ALSO, we received email notification from NVC that they received package on 8/17

- Case completed at NVC

- Case sent to Embassy on this date

EMBASSY

- Embassy received packet

- Wife received Packet 3/4 Instructions

- Medical appointment

- Interview

Point of Entry

- Enter Austin, Texas

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Be strong and dont send the paper,

If you petition him, he will arrive to usa and will go with the other woman.

So God showed you the things before he arrived to usa.

It is better now than when he be at usa.

Pray to God for help, now the pain is hard but you will be right, just talk with someone supportative and try to keep your mind busy. Try to help others such as doing voluntary job, when you do that you feel that your problem arent big as they apear.

God bless you, and remember that you didnt do nothing wrong.

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Filed: Country: Jamaica
Timeline

Hi all.. this is how I found out. I went back for a quick visit after the wedding. One night I noticed a western union receipt on his dresser folded up. It seemed kind of strange but i brushed it off, i never felt i had any reason to not trust him. I never go through his things and he never hides his phone. He doesn't even have a password on his phone.

I got curious and when he went to shower I read it. A woman had sent him money from the US. I know he didn't have any relatives there so I checked for her on Facebook and couldn't believe it. Her profile photo was a picture of them together. Her page is not private so I was able to see all the photos she posted of them together.

That is how I know he was seeing her for our entire relationship. I literally felt like someone had kicked me in my belly.

Guys I would not wish that feeling on anyone.

The next 3 days were hell.. I cried, cussed him. He cried and begged me to stay with him. Some days I would not say a word but he did everything to please me. The day I left , we rode to the airport without saying a word to each other.

I cannot believe that 3 years wasted just like that. Sometimes I wished I had never looked at that paper and sometimes I wish that I was searching so I could have found out before the wedding

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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Thailand
Timeline

I have a question like how do you know he was searching for another lady..... getting divorce is easy but fixing a relationship is hard why peoples do always suggest to get ride from the relationship easily since he is crying and asking forgiveness then why its so hard to forgive i can feel your pain its hurt but i think you should give him the second chance... think about the moment you have spend with him and you know him since many years think again before its too late

Your opinion describes exactly how you would react OR say indicate you would in her situation. I am pleased to see the other side and that you are a decent person.

Its hard to forgive? No. Here its simply impossible to even consider doing that. Far better to accept as she has, her human mistake of creating for herself the illusion of what she wanted & needed then allowed this guy to do what he does best as the pure predator he really is. He used her desire to love & to be loved, to attempt by deception, the accomplishment of his plan to scam his way into the USA while having her to pay his way.

The pain will diminish as she realizes it was herself that stopped this predator. Embarrassment will turn to pride for what she has done not what he did. He fell short when it really matters not her. Content of character.

Second chance? When I read that I had to ask my husband how to spell vomit but he said it isn't a good idea to describe that reaction. He said it would be better to bring in Freddy Kruger.

"Think about the moment she has to spend with him " ? Now that will ensure she will accept what I have suggested. Its actually moments so its even much worse that you describe.

Too late? No again. Its early. He began using her a few years back but that's nothing compared to what lay ahead once he accomplished the early phases of the plan. He's not really that bright but he is a predator so he just adjusts his path to stay on the hunt until the prey is finished. Of course its on to the next victim.

I am proud of this O P.

Edited by Ning
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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Thailand
Timeline

Hi all.. this is how I found out. I went back for a quick visit after the wedding. One night I noticed a western union receipt on his dresser folded up. It seemed kind of strange but i brushed it off, i never felt i had any reason to not trust him. I never go through his things and he never hides his phone. He doesn't even have a password on his phone.

I got curious and when he went to shower I read it. A woman had sent him money from the US. I know he didn't have any relatives there so I checked for her on Facebook and couldn't believe it. Her profile photo was a picture of them together. Her page is not private so I was able to see all the photos she posted of them together.

That is how I know he was seeing her for our entire relationship. I literally felt like someone had kicked me in my belly.

Guys I would not wish that feeling on anyone.

The next 3 days were hell.. I cried, cussed him. He cried and begged me to stay with him. Some days I would not say a word but he did everything to please me. The day I left , we rode to the airport without saying a word to each other.

I cannot believe that 3 years wasted just like that. Sometimes I wished I had never looked at that paper and sometimes I wish that I was searching so I could have found out before the wedding

The silence was due to both parties knowing the next move would define the future. He gave you the same illusion as before because you had him cornered and he knew it. What else could he have done? You see he cant identify the truth because he would have to live with it.

You didn't waste those years. He was just that good at the game and you were the seeming perfect victim. He's done this many times though it may not have been to this extent. He's doing it right now to the other ones you see.

That lack of respect for you led to him getting lazy in his moves so he forgot that even you might have enough instinct to know something wasn't right. Predators never have a 100 % kill ratio due to this.

Had you not done what you know you had to do, you would have to deal with yourself at some point. How can you condemn yourself for what it took time to understand? During all that time he was vicious in his planning which as we see included at least one other women. Depending on age, the amount of victims should be considered.

The wedding doesn't matter. You can undo that and should asap. Stop the madness while healing yourself then just move on in peace.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Scotland
Timeline

Thanks for your response. In my head I know what I should do. It's so embarrassing. My family flew with me to Jamaica for the wedding and I feel so ashamed to tell them it's over. I keep going over in my head if I missed any signs. But honestly, I cannot think of anything.

Always remember, the shame is his, not yours.

There is probably so much going on for you right now; an overwhelming mix of emotions and thoughts. Don't let self blame be one of them. (F)

I would talk to her. That's just me though. I would want to know what he has been telling her.

I think that depends on the individual situation, but I wouldn't want to get into a three way battle. The other woman is his issue to deal with. The OP is suffering enough pain already.

Lee & William

8/2/2014 - Sent I-129F Petition with USPS by Express Mail    
8/4/2014 - I-129F delivered to dropbox    8/6/2014 - NOA1 Text/E-Mail received    8/11/2014 - Alien Registration Number Changed (Text/E-Mail) / NOA1 Letter received by Mail    3/16/2015 - NOA2 Text/E-Mail received (224 days)    3/20/2015 - Sent to NVC    3/31/2015 - NVC Received    4/1/2015 - Case Number Assigned       4/7/2015 - NVC Sent to Embassy    4/10/2015 - London Embassy Received    4/11/2015 - Medical     4/15/2015 - Packet 3 Received    4/12/2015 - Packet 3 Sent    4/23/2015 - Packet 4 Received    5/18/2015 - Interview - APPROVED     5/30/2015 - Visa collected from courier    6/1/2015 - POE    6/14/2015 - Wedding 💍💍
 
 
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Filed: IR-5 Country: Pakistan
Timeline

my wife wants to know did you contact the lady over facebook and asked her what realtion do they have ? and also informed her that he is married if not , then inform her so she can save her emotions too and wont hurt in future.

my wife wants to know did you contact the lady over facebook and asked her what realtion do they have ? and also informed her that he is married if not , then inform her so she can save her emotions too and wont hurt in future.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Jordan
Timeline

my wife wants to know did you contact the lady over facebook and asked her what realtion do they have ? and also informed her that he is married if not , then inform her so she can save her emotions too and wont hurt in future.

my wife wants to know did you contact the lady over facebook and asked her what realtion do they have ? and also informed her that he is married if not , then inform her so she can save her emotions too and wont hurt in future.

does it matter? He was cheating it doesnt matter what the other woman did or didnt know. e's a cheat and cheaters dont deserve a second chance, ever.


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