Fiance decides 2 days before the interview that she has a cold and doesn't want to attend interview

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Have you talked to her on skype to see how much of a cold she has ? Have you ruled out that she is really sick with a fever, aches and pains etc

or is she talking about just the sniffles ?

I would re schedule it ONCE and see if she will go to the next one, then you have your answer. Give her the benefit of the doubt and let it ride

just this once because after all this time what's one more appointment a few days from now.

I know that some women milk several men for money at the same time and never leave their country with all the extra income and run off right

before the interview.

Hoping that is not the case and she is just really not feeling good.

Happy Birthday by the way !

[Lee&Ana 88]

Thanks for the birthday wishes. You can't reschedule on a Saturday when the interview is monday.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Thanks for the birthday wishes. You can't reschedule on a Saturday when the interview is monday.

Yes, true, sorry for the added stress this is causing you.

[Lee&Ana 88]

It was a wonderful birthday present and a great way for her to show love and commitment lol

[CowBoE 429]

This is a big red sign that you can't take lightly.

Based on your some of the struggle you've expressed in dealing with her,

I think she is also not feeling good about this relationship.

You guys should definitely talk directly and deeply (but kindly)

regarding your entire commitment and relationship.

[Lauren and Kevin 55]

Think back over the last months, and imagine you are living together, and this was going on, it was always you who is fixing crisis and sorting things out.

Is this really the married life you imagined for yourself, a partnership of equals, supporting each other through thick and thin?

No magic wand is going to be waved when she gets here to the USA, the pattern of the relationship is set, I promise you, if you expect someone to change their basic personality completely just because they have travelled on a plane, it's not going to happen.

What you have described is a future life of misery till you finally give up, admit defeat and have a messy divorce. It's hard for anyone to admit they have 'failed' but seriously dude, she failed you, this is not a relationship of LOVE, truly as others have said here, I would literally do ANYTHING for my babe, and I know she would for me...

Give this up, write off the investment, and find someone who loves you...the difference will be immediately clear!!

So what should you do?

First, knowing you have made a decision, stop stressing about how to make another appointment, step back - make her do the running, do exactly what she would do "oh dear, you can't go, what a shame" and then do nothing. Just as she expects you to leap in and fix it, let her do it, let her make the running - it's about time...

Edited May 3, 2015 by Lauren and Kevin

[Pitaya 2,576]

No moderators? this post got off topic quick.

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Pitaya

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Edited May 3, 2015 by Pitaya

[madtownguy 164]

It was a wonderful birthday present and a great way for her to show love and commitment lol

You really won't know what's up until she gets here. Nobody can say for sure things will work out. And it's possible she leads another life there, but technically you could be leading another life here and have someone living with you. I agree with you, unless on a death bed my wife wouldn't have missed her interview. She was sick when she got on the plane, so imagine you get that call after it is approved sorry but I have a cold I don't want to fly today. There goes a thousand down the drain.

They are females though, irrational, highly moody, and bad drivers. You know that to start with so you got to deal with it. My wife is on her first visit back to the Philippines, she bugged me constantly about calling to get green card sped up which I told her is pointless but of course I had to do it. I booked her a flight withing 2 weeks of receiving her green card. She has a lot of cash and credit card which she can do whatever she wants with. She is on her second day there and wants to come back already, she hates it and won't spend any money to try to make it better which always helps me. I of course warned her that she has gotten use to living the good life and it might not be so awesome going home, but no rationality in her head made what I said worthless. In the end I know women are crazy nutters that you have to either except or live a miserable life trying to figure it out.

Good luck, IMO missing any interview or appointment is a huge sign, but she could just harness her crazyness in that particular way.

[Lee&Ana 88]

Just an update. My fiance and I had a heart to heart talk and she ended up going to the interview. She passed her interview. All we have to do is get the visa delivered, cfo and she will be here. Thanks for all the advice.

[clairegie 265]

Just an update. My fiance and I had a heart to heart talk and she ended up going to the interview. She passed her interview. All we have to do is get the visa delivered, cfo and she will be here. Thanks for all the advice.

Glad you were able to settle things and congratulations!

[Karmalious 50]

Glad to hear it and congratulations...

The heart to heart doesn't end there though, you will still probably need to provide more encouragement and help her through this. Good luck to you both!

[Lee&Ana 88]

Thanks.

[fayriebaby 21]

Thanks.

I hope everything goes smooth from now on! Congrats!

[teddy k 35]

Hi, not to bust yoyr ball's but if you can reschedule her interview tell her about the new date and see what she says this time but if you can take 2 weeks off from work and go with her but don't tell her first surprise her by being at her place 2 days beforehand just a thought

[Asia 2,491]

Hi, not to bust yoyr ball's but if you can reschedule her interview tell her about the new date and see what she says this time but if you can take 2 weeks off from work and go with her but don't tell her first surprise her by being at her place 2 days beforehand just a thought

She went to the interview