New May Support and Rant

[25Euros 3]

VSC filer here.

I don't even know what to say. This process is getting more and more nerve wrecking.

It's not just that I am still waiting for the petition to be approved..no other things in my life seem to go terribly wrong, too.

This stress is freaking me out. I just want to sleep well at night, I don't want to waste my time thinking about what could happen or how long it'll take for the petition to be approved.

I just want a clear date. Or at least a date that tells me how long we have to wait to be back together in eachothers arms.

A couple of weeks ago I had prediction dates on my timelime but not anymore....THey ranges betweem end of June - mid october....

AWESOME....not

[rmg-fg 32]

Glamgirl88-Felt for you so much with your first post-crying, depression, watching your husband start to feel it also is the worst part. Wish this thread were here a year ago. My co-workers helped a lot (because I was going through a cycle very similar to grief.....crying every few weeks for days on end, then trying to tell myself I am not helping us any being like this, etc.) but they couldnt really understand and when christmas comes, you feel you're not even there but with your husband while trying to be positive, they can't understand. After 9 months of the process and having to write to our senator (also just after New Years and a total meltdown) I actually was about to scrap the process. Take what we had left after losing so much for this move and adjustment and just leave back with the kids to my husbands country and give it up with to be with him (kids were at the very same point). I actually gave notice to my boss (whom was also unbelievably supportive).

But two days after that, we received the approval for the NOA2. I was ecstatic. Stayed at work and they offered a position to hubby as well when he came. I was lucky to have their compassion and support. That lasted a good month.....then back to crying......how much longer for THIS part, etc. At the year point we were both really depressed and devastated. My teenagers miss their step-dad. My youngest has him as the only father she has ever had. They skype for hours with even homework help, too much to add. But this affected them. For three years we lived as a close family in his country with him. We are all on hold just waiting for our family to be complete again. I really understand you. We are at the point where he is coming after 16 months of misery and depression.

I can say to try to lean on each other and be positive for the other as much as you can. I know there are days when you both just cry on webcam to each other; I had days I missed him so intensely I couldnt look at him for not being able to hug him. Days where I had migraines and he had always been my person; he would tell me how to cope but it hurt him as much to not be able to be there with me; it hurt me to not have his touch to help the pain as it always did. This process is bordering inhumane; some days I was so angry at people I dont know doing this to our life when all we wanted was to be normal and a family. But there is an end. Just hang on. I am here in Fl. If you ever want to talk to someone......let me know.

Very glad to have this thread added.

[BrenPuchot 6]

I feel really down today and have been crying all week. I can't concentrate on work and feel extremely stressed, I am getting restless legs syndrome because of this. I know most people here have been waiting way longer but I just don't know how to feel any bettr. My hubby is stuck, if he accepts a job he will need to sign a contract and if he starts school he would be wasting the semester if he has to immigrate in between. We are not sure how long this would take and can't make any plans. Hubby is extremely depressed him due to being far from me and not getting anywhere. I am currently working for home but I cannot relocate to Pakistan with my current employer. I have found jobs that are purely remote and can be done anywhere in the world in my field but I haven't been considered for them yet.

I am thinking about asking for my hubbys passport back from the Embassy and try to have him apply for a visit visa. It wouldn't hurt to try even if he has 1% chance. It's only been a month but it seems like a year already, I don't know how not to be glued to the CEAC website. I am hoping for the best but seeing my hubby in stress and depression is making it all worse for me. I wish I could hug him and be with him at least during this time.

That has been me too the past week and I think the worst part is not knowing things like when is your case going to be approved. After a long period of time of doing this, I think I can't deal wih long distance anymore

[glamgirl88 38]

@rmg-fg

I am sorry to hear about what happened to you, your hubby and kids. I can only imagine what they went through after living with your hubby for such a long time. I don't even know how I will go any longer than a couple months max, I will just have to leave.

At one point, I understood the immigration process and understood the security checks but I don't understand why this was not done while it was at the USCIS level. Our circumstances are completely odd and we cannot go on like this anymore. I don't even know how you waited that long for the process, Kudos to you.

My hubby and I have known each other since childhood and grew up together. We've been in a long distance relationship since 2002 when I was 15 and he was completing his studies. However, ever since we have been married it's just driving us crazy being far away from each other. We are also a lot older now and need each other.

[Soloenta 2,218]

I feel really down today and have been crying all week. I can't concentrate on work and feel extremely stressed, I am getting restless legs syndrome because of this. I know most people here have been waiting way longer but I just don't know how to feel any bettr. My hubby is stuck, if he accepts a job he will need to sign a contract and if he starts school he would be wasting the semester if he has to immigrate in between. We are not sure how long this would take and can't make any plans. Hubby is extremely depressed him due to being far from me and not getting anywhere. I am currently working for home but I cannot relocate to Pakistan with my current employer. I have found jobs that are purely remote and can be done anywhere in the world in my field but I haven't been considered for them yet.

I am thinking about asking for my hubbys passport back from the Embassy and try to have him apply for a visit visa. It wouldn't hurt to try even if he has 1% chance. It's only been a month but it seems like a year already, I don't know how not to be glued to the CEAC website. I am hoping for the best but seeing my hubby in stress and depression is making it all worse for me. I wish I could hug him and be with him at least during this time.

((((((((((Glamgirl)))))))))) I'm so sorry to hear this and it doesn't matter how long it's been one month a year the heart knows nothing of time

only of what it wants and desires.

On the Visa to visit sorry to say don't think that will happen and if it does, more than likely they will send him back at Port of Entry and

I think that would be much worse.

Try to Skype with cam as much as you can that helps and is better than nothing.

By any chance have you spoken to your supervisors about this, I would think your case would take precidence?

Your in my prayers and if it get's to bad I suggest seeing your Dr about this sometimes we need a little extra help.

C'mon Nebraska, I seek a quick NOA2!!!!!

They are notoriously slow sad to day. Praying for everyone to get what they need NOW!

[Soloenta 2,218]

VSC filer here.

I don't even know what to say. This process is getting more and more nerve wrecking.

It's not just that I am still waiting for the petition to be approved..no other things in my life seem to go terribly wrong, too.

This stress is freaking me out. I just want to sleep well at night, I don't want to waste my time thinking about what could happen or how long it'll take for the petition to be approved.

I just want a clear date. Or at least a date that tells me how long we have to wait to be back together in eachothers arms.

A couple of weeks ago I had prediction dates on my timelime but not anymore....THey ranges betweem end of June - mid october....

AWESOME....not

Just know your not alone not by a long shot

HappyVJ Friends

May Allah bless us all with favor in Lord Embassy's computer system,

& grant us our ISSUEDs this month!

Always wonderful to see you my sweet friend and Happy May to you to, praying this month brings you and the other's your hearts desire.

Glamgirl88-Felt for you so much with your first post-crying, depression, watching your husband start to feel it also is the worst part. Wish this thread were here a year ago. My co-workers helped a lot (because I was going through a cycle very similar to grief.....crying every few weeks for days on end, then trying to tell myself I am not helping us any being like this, etc.) but they couldnt really understand and when christmas comes, you feel you're not even there but with your husband while trying to be positive, they can't understand. After 9 months of the process and having to write to our senator (also just after New Years and a total meltdown) I actually was about to scrap the process. Take what we had left after losing so much for this move and adjustment and just leave back with the kids to my husbands country and give it up with to be with him (kids were at the very same point). I actually gave notice to my boss (whom was also unbelievably supportive).

But two days after that, we received the approval for the NOA2. I was ecstatic. Stayed at work and they offered a position to hubby as well when he came. I was lucky to have their compassion and support. That lasted a good month.....then back to crying......how much longer for THIS part, etc. At the year point we were both really depressed and devastated. My teenagers miss their step-dad. My youngest has him as the only father she has ever had. They skype for hours with even homework help, too much to add. But this affected them. For three years we lived as a close family in his country with him. We are all on hold just waiting for our family to be complete again. I really understand you. We are at the point where he is coming after 16 months of misery and depression.

I can say to try to lean on each other and be positive for the other as much as you can. I know there are days when you both just cry on webcam to each other; I had days I missed him so intensely I couldnt look at him for not being able to hug him. Days where I had migraines and he had always been my person; he would tell me how to cope but it hurt him as much to not be able to be there with me; it hurt me to not have his touch to help the pain as it always did. This process is bordering inhumane; some days I was so angry at people I dont know doing this to our life when all we wanted was to be normal and a family. But there is an end. Just hang on. I am here in Fl. If you ever want to talk to someone......let me know.

Very glad to have this thread added.

Thank you for the kind words I'm happy if this thread helps anyone since we are all suffering the same pain.

My heart goes out to you and your children and Italia seems like a beautiful place to live but I know how home always seems better. Did I understand correctly he now has his Visa and is coming home to you?

Welcome to the thread.

That has been me too the past week and I think the worst part is not knowing things like when is your case going to be approved. After a long period of time of doing this, I think I can't deal wih long distance anymore

I know the feeling well my heart goes out to you.

Welcome to the thread.

[JennyLu 65]

@JennyLu

I feel you I can understand what it must feel like to wait so long for an interview. I hope you spouse gets an interview super fast. All the staying positive and everything, only we know how frustrating it sounds when we hear it. I feel like I always hold everything together too and I am going crazy now that it's not in my hands. I just hope all goes through well for you, I will keep you in my prayers. All we can do is scream, cry, act crazy and stay positive. I visualize the "Issued" screen everyday in CEAC.

Thanks for the nice words. It is definitely good to hear people who understand the pain& frustration. I realize that this is the thread for me u till I get through this process. It's not that I'm not happy for others getting action, it's just too painful& I can't bear more pain than I already have!! I'll just stick here where I can RANT & scream ? & cry ? & be angry ? all I want & no one will judge me!! Praying everyday for all us that is still waiting ???? Please God! Bring us relief quickly!!

[glamgirl88 38]

My entire body feels hot, my shoulders burning heavy migraines and scalp hurting. I can't work, I can't control wht I am feeling right now.

[Karmalious 50]

Well, SOLOENTA... I would gladly take positive vibes instead haha. Nebraska might have been slow previously, but the last 16 statistics show an average of 5-6months. I hope that continues to be the case. Cheers! Send those positive thoughts my way!!!

[rmg-fg 32]

My house has been repainted.......then painted again. My camper has even been redone and slept in with a lot of long walks. Curtains added to every room with new fixtures, windows redone, etc. You name it. Everyone is different. My husband and kids kid together that my new paint job looks nice and begin planning on the next color I will choose or next thing I will change or fix when I need to just do something to stop the crazy anger, hurt or immigration non-stop worries, worries of hubby, etc.

My hope is to really help. Depression began on and off about 3 weeks after getting here and seeing our set-up without my husband here. I buy new clothes every couple of weeks for my husband and add it to our closet. When the depression hits, it's some days. Maybe a week. Luckily i have to get up for work. However my husband is always there on the other end and I am the same with our phone plan. That is the only way. I cry and Francesco says he knows and sadly misses me too. We are always open about how we are feeling and cameras are on literally all day in each room (have used pc's and add-on cameras). On holidays, my husband and I got the same recipe, got up on webcam (he in his kitchen of the boarding place and us here) and we baked together. The pc is set up at the table and we all ate together. I work overnight-my husband in the morning and early noon. Makes the time difference perfect so most time I put my pc with the webcam on next to the bed while he does the same and we sleep even 'together'. Most times skype ends before I wake but if we have a need, we each text or call.

Every day from day one until the very last month was the same; this is really very normal. You all have to understand you are going to feel it and it will be the worst but there are tricks to help it. Distractions and walks. NO STRESS! Anything at all that you are doing extra that causes any stress, get rid of it. You don't need it. We even went more basic then we began because I didnt want to clean a large house, pay more bills, etc. We did everything possible to get rid of it. I ask my husband to get some walks in and talk to me, send me pics of places around him and I will do the same. My kids help a lot and will ask him history questions, telling him they want more info for homework as he is right there. That usually gets him to go out when I know he is really down. This doesnt end. Its timeless and the intensity is something that cant be described to anyone not in this situation. That doesnt help. Allow yourself time to grieve and miss the other then get yourself out of it; for both of your sakes. My husband got to be so bad and I would think how horrible I was being for us. I needed to get out of it for him. We are human and there will be bad days. You have to get to the next day and you have to feel very fortunate that you have the other to feel this way about when so many around me are unhappy and lonely. Sometimes that will work. Sometimes you will say, "I dont care. I want my husband." and nothing will help.

A co-worker asked me some time back if this made the relationship deeper somehow; this separation. I thought a lot about that and told her that we had been going back and forth between countries for 8 years; the first couple years I think it did help with the depth. After you are married and so used to the other that you know them more then yourself then no, the depth is always there. This just hurts your heart so much in every moment. You make sacrifices for years that most never have to think about to just be together. It's too much."

We have been doing this for years (some one year, some several years, doesnt matter). We can get through this to the finish; just a matter of time. We know about patience, right? IT WILL END and then never again. My husband and I are older too (mid forties). It makes it difficult for sure but then by next year you know you have so many years together again. Try to accept and think how much you love the other; how much of a gift they really are for you to have found them. I know from the bottom of my heart your tears. I really do. I know the anger and it seems endless. I know the feeling of losing your mind completely and just ready to give up. There is no easy way to this. But you have a very special story, everybody here. A very special road. Use the only other person that can help you. Remember how much you love them and how much you can do to keep it together if you can just so the other doesnt hurt as much (not simple but it has to be a goal). Be with the other; my family has become The Jetsons (smile) when we used to be the Flintstones. It helps.

Glamgirl88-message me whenever you like; you can use a friend that understands. I know I could have before; especially the first months and even up to the end.

Wanted to add one note; we went through Nebraska as well. The time showed 5 months as well but our case (along with many others) were actually not processed before 7 or 8 months. We had to use our senator. When we called a couple time (first after 6 months, then the next month) they said they understood what it said but that wasnt always accurate even if updated. I am saying this because I was crazy for thinking something was really wrong with our case when it wasnt. It just was a sort of huge let-down. Expect only that this process takes its time and it can help to be more prepared for anything that can be unexpected. It does end. Then you are looking at a memory of the moments you have to go through now. I really hope this helps anyone because I needed it a year ago even when every other day was devastating.

[diyap 40]

Hello guys.. this is my second thread

Bag packed and leaving tomorrow for Mumbai. Just have one of those mixed feelings rt now. Can't sleep bcoz I'mI'm so curious about what is coming next for me.

have checked my all documents like 5 times still have that feeling that something is missing. .. omg I can't get rid of this.

[JennyLu 65]

My house has been repainted.......then painted again. My camper has even been redone and slept in with a lot of long walks. Curtains added to every room with new fixtures, windows redone, etc. You name it. Everyone is different. My husband and kids kid together that my new paint job looks nice and begin planning on the next color I will choose or next thing I will change or fix when I need to just do something to stop the crazy anger, hurt or immigration non-stop worries, worries of hubby, etc.

My hope is to really help. Depression began on and off about 3 weeks after getting here and seeing our set-up without my husband here. I buy new clothes every couple of weeks for my husband and add it to our closet. When the depression hits, it's some days. Maybe a week. Luckily i have to get up for work. However my husband is always there on the other end and I am the same with our phone plan. That is the only way. I cry and Francesco says he knows and sadly misses me too. We are always open about how we are feeling and cameras are on literally all day in each room (have used pc's and add-on cameras). On holidays, my husband and I got the same recipe, got up on webcam (he in his kitchen of the boarding place and us here) and we baked together. The pc is set up at the table and we all ate together. I work overnight-my husband in the morning and early noon. Makes the time difference perfect so most time I put my pc with the webcam on next to the bed while he does the same and we sleep even 'together'. Most times skype ends before I wake but if we have a need, we each text or call.

Every day from day one until the very last month was the same; this is really very normal. You all have to understand you are going to feel it and it will be the worst but there are tricks to help it. Distractions and walks. NO STRESS! Anything at all that you are doing extra that causes any stress, get rid of it. You don't need it. We even went more basic then we began because I didnt want to clean a large house, pay more bills, etc. We did everything possible to get rid of it. I ask my husband to get some walks in and talk to me, send me pics of places around him and I will do the same. My kids help a lot and will ask him history questions, telling him they want more info for homework as he is right there. That usually gets him to go out when I know he is really down. This doesnt end. Its timeless and the intensity is something that cant be described to anyone not in this situation. That doesnt help. Allow yourself time to grieve and miss the other then get yourself out of it; for both of your sakes. My husband got to be so bad and I would think how horrible I was being for us. I needed to get out of it for him. We are human and there will be bad days. You have to get to the next day and you have to feel very fortunate that you have the other to feel this way about when so many around me are unhappy and lonely. Sometimes that will work. Sometimes you will say, "I dont care. I want my husband." and nothing will help.

A co-worker asked me some time back if this made the relationship deeper somehow; this separation. I thought a lot about that and told her that we had been going back and forth between countries for 8 years; the first couple years I think it did help with the depth. After you are married and so used to the other that you know them more then yourself then no, the depth is always there. This just hurts your heart so much in every moment. You make sacrifices for years that most never have to think about to just be together. It's too much."

We have been doing this for years (some one year, some several years, doesnt matter). We can get through this to the finish; just a matter of time. We know about patience, right? IT WILL END and then never again. My husband and I are older too (mid forties). It makes it difficult for sure but then by next year you know you have so many years together again. Try to accept and think how much you love the other; how much of a gift they really are for you to have found them. I know from the bottom of my heart your tears. I really do. I know the anger and it seems endless. I know the feeling of losing your mind completely and just ready to give up. There is no easy way to this. But you have a very special story, everybody here. A very special road. Use the only other person that can help you. Remember how much you love them and how much you can do to keep it together if you can just so the other doesnt hurt as much (not simple but it has to be a goal). Be with the other; my family has become The Jetsons (smile) when we used to be the Flintstones. It helps.

Glamgirl88-message me whenever you like; you can use a friend that understands. I know I could have before; especially the first months and even up to the end.

Wanted to add one note; we went through Nebraska as well. The time showed 5 months as well but our case (along with many others) were actually not processed before 7 or 8 months. We had to use our senator. When we called a couple time (first after 6 months, then the next month) they said they understood what it said but that wasnt always accurate even if updated. I am saying this because I was crazy for thinking something was really wrong with our case when it wasnt. It just was a sort of huge let-down. Expect only that this process takes its time and it can help to be more prepared for anything that can be unexpected. It does end. Then you are looking at a memory of the moments you have to go through now. I really hope this helps anyone because I needed it a year ago even when every other day was devastating.

What a wonderful story...you give me inspiration! Today has been a good day for me, just somehow found some peace for a while...it comes and goes. I too am in my 40's (husband in 30's) I thought I should have had more patience with my "life experience" but I feel sometimes I have less!! But I like what you say that we will have a story when it's all done, something we have gone through...that indeed will have made us stronger! Thanks again, best wishes

[glamgirl88 38]

@rmgfg

Beautiful story. This is exactly like us we were literally on the 24/7 with camera always On even when cooking but we had been long distance already for 15 years and didn't realize this would happen to us after marriage. I guess there is a time when your body just gives up.

[glamgirl88 38]

Ughhhh Why is that everytime I make a typing mistake in our case number in CEAC, it comes up with a case number with recent Issued status and same case creation date as us. This is such a tease and heartbreaking!!!!

[lou-nic 36]

I want to know why our government thinks its ok to mess with peoples lives? I miss my husband so much. it's only been 2 weeks and I can't deal with it. I can't function at all. I went over 2 years with out seeing him and leaving this time is killing me. I feel so bad for those who haven't seen their spouse in a while. I just don't know how much more I can take. I just want to be with my husband. I can't afford to lose my job or my house but I can't afford to lose my sanity and health either and right now that's whats happening. I am afraid that I am going to have to take a medical leave from work because I know I am having a nervous break down and this one is far worse then the last. what are they doing to us. why can't they see what they are doing? missing my husband so much. if it wasn't for my kids I would drop everything and just go back to Ghana. right now its where I am the most happy. even if I can't leave the house without my husband at least I was with him and we could hold each other and feel each others touch. I hate this so much. I can't stop crying. been crying straight for over 12 hours and just can't stop. :cry: